Taliesin only had to jab me in the kidney once during math, which earned him a dirty look. By the time class was over, I was relieved to just go home.

                "Here," I said, handing Taliesin his bottle back as we left the classroom together.

                He tucked it in his bag. "Want more tomorrow?"

                "You don't have to bring me tea," I said. "I can make my own."

                "So that's a Gabriel way of saying 'Yes Taliesin, bring me more tea tomorrow'," he said.

                "I can make my own," I repeated. But damn, it had been good, and I wouldn't say no if he brought me more.

                "Got it, got it," he said, snickering. "You're too easy to read sometimes, you know?"

                "You're frustrating as hell except when you're pissed," I said.

                "Me? Frustrating?" He gave me an appalled look. "How dare you. I am an open book of feelings. Never has a man been frustrated by me before. Or a woman, for that matter. Or anyone identifying as anything, for even more of that matter. Or a dog. Maybe a cat or two, but they're whiny bastards."

                "Alright, I get it," I said, trying not to laugh. "But you are frustrating. I hope you know that."

                "I'm not the one falling asleep in class and passing out in gym. That's frustrating," he said.

                Kayden stepped up next to Taliesin and matched our pace. "Taliesin, Kaya is looking for you. Marshall has something to tell us." He didn't look pleased about that. "I hope it's that he's going to stop being a whiny bastard."

                "Well, you always say he's a pussy," Taliesin said, and laughed at his own dumb joke.

                "He is," Kayden said. "Are you coming or not?"

                "In a minute," Taliesin said. "I'm walking with Gabe. He's telling me how easy-going I am."

                "Frustrating," I corrected.

                "I see we agree on something," Kayden said.

                "Hey, how about we don't team up against me, hm?" Taliesin said. "Run along, Kay. I'll catch up in a little."

                "Fine. But you know if you leave me alone with him too long, I'll just upset him, and then you'll have to hear him complain about it," Kayden said.

                "Kaya will keep you from destroying Marshall's poor feelings. Run along," Taliesin said, waving him away.

                Kayden disappeared into the crowd of students. I glanced at Taliesin, my throat burning with questions. When had he chosen them over us? Why had he chosen them over us?

                "He's trouble," I said, hating myself as soon as the words left my mouth. Stupid. Of course Taliesin knew Kayden was trouble. The two had been suspended after getting in a fight with three other students. That's the whole reason their schedules had been switched back.

                "He's not a bad person," Taliesin said, and his fierce tone surprised me. "We're always told to stand up for what we believe in, even if we're standing alone. That's Kayden. When everyone else sits down and pretends not to notice something wrong, he stands up and calls it out. That's why he's labeled 'trouble'."

                "GABRIEL!"

                Leigh ran up to me, nearly slamming right into me. I managed to grab her before she could, and she gripped my shoulders, taking in the sight of my face, eyeing me carefully.

                "Kace said you got lightheaded during gym, and I was just...I was worried!" she said, her words coming fast. "After you falling asleep in class, you know, I knew you were really bad off this time. And now this! You need a break! We can handle the work, really we can. Stop trying to take on all the extra work. You're hurting your own health! You stubborn man. You had me so worried!"

                "Hey!" I said, putting a hand over her mouth. "I'm fine. Take a breath. You're doing that word vomit thing again, Leigh."

                "I'm good, I'm okay now," she said, tugging my hand away. She noticed Taliesin and her eyes widened. "Not good anymore. Taliesin?"

                "In the flesh," he said, spreading his arms. "Been a long time, Leigh. You still bumbling around and forgetting to do half your responsibilities?"

                She crossed her arms and fixed him with that stern eyes attempt of hers. "I write things down now so I don't forget." She looked to me. "What is he...?"

                "Wearing? Thinking? Doing here? Please, go on. I'm dying to know how that sentence ends," Taliesin said.        

                Leigh didn't seem to know how to react to him. She kept looking to me for help, but I just shrugged at her.

                "Go. You have your friends to get to," I said at last.

                His grin twitched a little, but he just nodded. "Guess I better get going before Kayden makes anyone cry. See you around."

                "What the hell?" Leigh squeaked out once he was gone. "What was he doing with you?"

                "It's...complicated. Sort of. Not really, actually. He gave me tea this morning and just wanted to know if I wanted more tomorrow," I said. It was a lot more complicated than that, but a lot easier to pretend that was all.

                She looked like she didn't quite believe that. "Gabriel..."

                "Leigh, stop before you sound like Kace and Nadia. I only have two ears, so unless you plan to scream into my nose how dangerous he is, please just stop," I said with a tired sigh. "I get it. I really do. I remember everything that happened."

                She dropped her gaze. "I missed him, even after everything. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you."

                And it had been hard. It had been brutal. Not just the big things, but the small ones, too. I'd spent years with Taliesin at my side; to look next to me and see only empty space had hurt worse than any of his actions.

                I put an arm around Leigh's shoulders and forced a smile. "Come on. Let's get going."

                I dropped my arm from her shoulders as we started walking. We went down to the senior hallway, where Nadia caught up to us.

                "You," she said, giving me a stern look that was much more effective than Leigh's imitation, "are going to go home, do your work, and go to sleep at a reasonable time. I'm going to get your mother on your case if I have to."

                "Evidently she's already here yelling at me about it," I grumbled.

                Nadia crossed her arms. "Well, someone's got to take care of you, since you've apparently forgotten you're almost an adult."

                "Have a lovely afternoon ladies, I'm going home," I said, stopping at my locker.

                "Nadia," Leigh said, urging her away. "Let's go. He knows."

                I shot her a grateful look as they went on their way down the hall. I grabbed what I needed and left the school, getting in my car and taking off for home.

                When I got home, I went to the living room, where my dad was doing his Sudoku puzzles on the couch. I could hear mom shifting things down in the basement.

                "What's mom doing?" I asked, sitting down in the chair across from him.

                Dad glanced up at me before looking back down to his puzzle. "She's trying to find one of the pans your grandmother gave us. I found it a half hour ago and put it on the counter, but she hogged the bathroom this morning when I wanted to shower so I'm not telling her."

                I smiled a little at that, but then it slipped off my face. Maybe I was tired, maybe I was confused, and maybe I just trusted my dad. Whatever the cause, I spoke.

                "Did you ever lose anyone you wish you hadn't?" I said.

                Now he looked up and set his puzzle on the table, leaning forward a little. "I did. A lot of people. It's a sad part of growing up. People drift. But I know what you're asking specifically. I had a girlfriend, started dating her the middle of my junior year of high school. I loved her. College came along, though. She made all these new friends and just...fazed me out. It hurt. But I couldn't control whether or not someone kept me in their life. It was a hard lesson, but it's served me well." He ran a hand through his hair. "Gabriel, sometimes we love people, but they don't love us back. That's what hurts. We can't imagine hurting them the way they hurt us. We don't understand it. But we can't change it."

                I dropped my head a little. Dad noticed and gave me a small smile.

                "If I'd kept pining after her, I wouldn't have dated your mother. Maybe your mom wasn't my first love, but she's my best love. It felt like the world was ending at the time. I spent night after night wondering why my girlfriend wasn't writing me back or answering my calls. And slowly, I accepted it and moved on. Very slowly. But I did it. And one day I met this woman who told me my tie was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen in her life, and now she's downstairs searching for a pan I won't tell her I already found while I give life lessons to our son," he said. "Life hurts. Then it gets better."

                "Yea," I mumbled, standing up. "I'm going to do my homework at the coffee shop. Just need to get out and get some air, you know?"

                He opened his mouth to speak, but winced as a plastic container hit him in the head. Mom glared from the doorway.

                "You're the worst man I've ever met in my entire life and I despise you," she said.

                "Oh, guess you noticed," he said, standing up. "I'll help you make dinner. We'll text you when it's ready, Gabriel."

                He and mom bickered as they retreated to the kitchen together. I grabbed my schoolbag and left the house, thinking over what my dad had said as I drove to the coffee shop.

                It wasn't just because Taliesin had been my boyfriend. He'd been so important to my life long before he was my boyfriend. He was the one I had my first sleepover with as kids. He was the one who told my mom he'd scratched the side of her car so I wouldn't get in trouble for it. He was the one who climbed up in a tree and sat with me until I had enough courage to get down on my own so I wouldn't have to be embarrassed. He was the one I could call in the dead of night if I just needed to get something off my chest.

                Where had it all gone wrong? What had I missed while I was so wrapped up in my own work?

                I parked my car and went inside. I ordered a smoothie and settled into a corner seat to do my work. But my thoughts kept slipping to Taliesin.

                I put my headphones on and turned my music up loud enough to block out the world. I forced myself to work until I slipped into the familiar rhythm of it.

                I didn't know how long I'd been working for when a hand suddenly landed on my shoulder, startling me out of my focused state. I took my headphones off and turned to face whoever it was.

                Nadia sat down across from me. "Sorry. I saw your car here. I was heading to the store for my mom."

                "I was just getting a drink and doing my homework," I said, pushing my smoothie towards her.

                She took a sip. "What's bothering you, Gabriel?"

                We were alone in the corner here, just background sounds of a quiet jazz soundtrack and the sounds of drinks being made. Across the shop, a few kids claimed a table and were having a hushed conversation with each other.

                "Taliesin," I said at last. "But you already knew that."

                "I did. But I didn't know if it was him being back, or if something happened that you're not telling me," she said. Her expression softened a little. "I know I treat you like I'm your babysitter, but I hope you remember I'm your friend."

                "What did I miss, Nadia? There were signs. I know there were. I just...don't know why he did it all," I said quietly.

                "He was getting...bad," she said. "Something was happening. We all knew it. He was more irritable. Pushier. He was basically trying to seize control of the senior student council."

                "He almost succeeded," I mumbled. He'd deleted work off our shared email and hidden documents so it seemed like we weren't doing our tasks, which had created infighting, which led to me being accused of losing all the work, which led to the principal stepping in and threatening to evaluate us to potentially take us out of the student council if we couldn't get our act together. It had been a disaster. It could've gotten me suspended.

                He'd tried to topple us from the inside out, and when that didn't work, he targeted the junior student council. They hadn't been prepared for him. They hadn't been as tight a group as we were.

                "I wonder if it was a mental breakdown," Nadia said. "He wouldn't talk to anyone about the accident. I wonder if the stress of that mixed with the stress of the student council and his general schoolwork finally got to him. You know better than anyone that the accident strained his family."

                "His mom had told his dad not to take Taliesin out on the motorcycle until he was 18," I said. "Of course it strained them when he did it anyways and Taliesin got hurt so badly."

                A mental breakdown made sense, but it just didn't feel right. It was more than that, I was sure of it.

                "Gabriel, I'm going to be very honest with you," she said. "I love you and you are my best friend, but I absolutely do not trust your judgment when it comes to Taliesin. If you want to talk to him again, I can't stop you. I won't stop you. It's your life. But because I care about you, I will be in your ear reminding you what he's done. I'll be watching him like a hawk. And I'll play along if I think he's being genuine, but I absolutely will not let him just slip his way back into our group without proving that he regrets what he did and won't do it again. He'll have to work hard if he wants back into our group. And he'll have to work very hard if he wants back into your life."

                "I appreciate it," I said honestly. I didn't trust my judgment of him either. I kept saying I'd never forget what he did to us, but then he said something that made me laugh and he'd get that grin of his and suddenly it was like he'd never hurt me. It wasn't healthy.

                He didn't get to just make me laugh and think that made up for hurting me. If I was too foolish to keep that in mind, I was grateful to have friends watching out for me.

                "Do you need anything?" she said.

                I shook my head. "No. Go home, Nadia. I'm going to do my homework and head home. Thanks for checking on me."

                She stood up and took one last swallow of my drink. "I'll see you tomorrow, Gabriel. Well rested."

                "Got it," I said, rolling my eyes. "See you tomorrow."

                She left and I slowly sipped at my drink. If she would support me talking to him again while also watching my back, maybe I could really find out what happened back then.

                It just didn't make any sense to me. It had all been so sudden. His uncontrollable anger, his deception, his desperation. Something had happened, something we had all missed. Figuring out the truth wouldn't fix the past, but it could help me fix the future. If whatever had happened back then was still affecting Taliesin, I wanted to help.

                There was a chance that Taliesin had changed permanently. There was a chance that whatever had happened could never be fully undone. There was a chance he would never truly apologize for it all.

                But I had to know. I was going to find out, for his sake and mine.