Taliesin wasn't a good man.

               But he wasn't a bad man.

               He was struggling, drowning in the gray area between the two. He did bad things, but he wanted to be a good person. He screwed up, but he took responsibility for it and tried to make himself better.

               What I did with that information was my choice.

               I pulled into his driveway, staring at his house as I shut my car off. So much of my life spent there. I could remember when they kept the family computer in one of the small hallways, and Taliesin and I would sit at a bench together and play games. They were always educational; his mom wouldn't buy anything else for him. But we'd have so much fun, two little kids giggling together.

               I could remember playing on the rocking chair in his basement. We'd pull it all the way to the ground and let it go, and whoever was sitting on it was usually flung forward right off it. Too young to realize how dangerous it was, we'd laugh and laugh until his dad caught us doing it and took the rocking chair away.

               I shook myself a little and got out of my car, heading up to the front door. I hadn't seen his parents in a while, but his mom's car was in the driveway, so this was probably going to be awkward.

               Awkward or not, I rang the doorbell and waited, trying to hide how nervous I was. This used to be a second home. Being so nervous standing at the doorway felt strange. I used to just let myself into the house.

               But now, Mrs. Torres answered the door. She looked shocked to see me standing there, but quickly composed herself.

               "Hi, Gabriel," she greeted.

               "Hi, Mrs. Torres. Is Taliesin home?" I asked.

               "He is. Come on in," she said, stepping aside.

               I took my shoes off and followed her down to the living room. As we rounded the corner into it, I frowned.

               Taliesin was fast asleep on the couch, covered by a weighted blanket. Mrs. Torres crossed her arms and glanced at me.

               "Can I get you a drink, Gabriel? I'll wake him in a few minutes," she said.

               "Yea, that's fine. Let him sleep," I said.

               We went out to the kitchen and I sat at the table. Mrs. Torres poured us each a glass of lemonade and sat across from me.

               "Is he in trouble?" she asked. "Don't sugarcoat it, either. I know my son."

               "He's not in trouble," I assured her.

               "Well, there's something new and pleasant," she said. She sighed and leaned back in her chair. "He told me what he did to you and his other friends, Gabriel."

               "Yea, well, we're working on that," I said, unable to meet her eyes.

               "You were always good for him. But if you want to walk away, no one would hold it against you," she said. "I love my son, but he screwed up."

               "He did," I agreed. "I just...need to talk to him. But I can wait until school. I know he needs sleep," I said.

               The door opened and Mrs. Torres's expression tightened a little. "No need. He'll be up soon."

               Mr. Torres entered the kitchen and seemed surprised to see me. "Gabriel. How are you?"

               "Good," I said.

               "Go wake Taliesin up," Mrs. Torres said.

               Mr. Torres frowned. "If he's sleeping, we should-"

               "Wake him up. He'll never go to sleep at night if you don't," she said, her tone final.

               Mr. Torres just turned away from her and went into the living room. I could feel the tension suddenly in the house, and sipped on my lemonade, uncomfortable. I knew things had been tense ever since the accident, but I thought things might've gotten a little better. Instead, it only seemed worse.

               A few minutes later, Taliesin entered the room, looking groggy and disheveled. He noticed me and surprise hit his face.

               "Uh...hi," he said, running a hand over his hair.

               "Now who looks like a mop?" I said.

               "Still you," he said. "What are you doing here?"

               "Needed to talk," I said, standing up. "Thank you for the lemonade, Mrs. Torres."

               Taliesin led me up to his bedroom and sat on the end of his bed. I sat at the chair at his desk. I knew I hadn't come here to talk about his parents, but...

               "They still fight?" I asked.

               "Fight?" He snorted. "Hard to fight someone when you're giving them the silent treatment." He shrugged. "It's whatever. They'll figure it out on their own."

               "It's not whatever, Taliesin. You know it's not," I said. "It can't be easy for you to have to live in the middle of it."

               I could tell by his expression that he was about to change the subject, to avoid this conversation. Some part of me said it was wrong to push him, especially about this. But another part of me knew that ever since the accident, this had been his reality.

               I reached out, placing a hand on his knee and meeting his eyes. "Tal, you can trust me. What have you been going through?"

               He looked away from me. "Whatever. It's just whatever. Mom's mad dad took me out on the motorcycle after she told him not to. She's mad we got in that accident. She's mad I'll...never fully recover. Can you blame her? And he's mad it happened, and he's mad at himself. So they're both just mad. But it's not like he forced me to get on the motorcycle with him. I did it willingly, and I did it knowing mom said not to."

               "The accident wasn't his fault though," I said. "The driver wasn't paying attention when he hit you guys."

               "So? Mom figures I shouldn't have been on the motorcycle in the first place," Taliesin said. He leaned back, trying to look casual. "So what did you actually need to talk about? My parents are figuring their own shit out."

               There was more going on that he was telling me, but it wasn't right to pry into his family life like this. So instead, I switched subjects.

               "What you said earlier...I've been thinking about it," I said.

               "And yet, you're here," he said.

               "Because you're trying," I said. "I see that. I appreciate that."

               "Listen sunshine, you've got a lot of faith in the guy who almost got you suspended," Taliesin said. "You remember that, right? I did that. Intentionally. We were dating. I told you I loved you, and then I sabotaged you. Ringing any bells here?"

               "I'm not saying I forgive you," I said. "I'm saying I see that you're trying. There's a difference."

               "Good, as long as we're clear on that," he said.

               "Why do you keep putting yourself down like that?" I said.

               "I'm not putting myself down. Actually, I bring myself up a lot." He gestured to his face. "See this? I just woke up and I still look amazing. I've also got amazing muscles. The legs are a work in progress, but they're getting there."

               "Taliesin," I said.

               "Right, right. I'm not putting myself down. I'm just owning up to what I did." He gestured to his desk and I turned, realizing there were five picture frames lying face down. "I told myself that I don't get to miss what I had when I'm the reason I don't have it anymore. I blamed everyone but myself for too long. I can't be better if I can't own up and deal with the consequences."

               He didn't stop me as I slowly lifted the picture frames. One was of him and his parents, before the accident. One was of him with me, Leigh, Nadia, and Kace at the start of our senior year.

               The other three were of the two of us.

               I didn't linger on the pictures, but I knew each one. One was before we were dating, back when we still kids. We'd offered to help his dad paint in the backyard, and ended up flinging paint at each other until we were covered, smiling proudly when his dad snapped a picture. The second was of our freshman winter ball, back when we'd started to flirt on and off. We stood with arms around each other's shoulders in our suits, feeling older than actually were. And the last was recent, taken at the start of the schoolyear, just a simple picture of Taliesin kissing my cheek as I beamed a smile.

               He'd ruined that. But I wasn't innocent either.

               Not paying attention to my own boyfriend when he was struggling. Not even realizing he was struggling until it was too late to help him.

               "What happens now?" I asked, finally turning to face him.

               "You came to me. How should I know?" he said.

               "That's...actually fair, yea. I didn't think that far ahead," I admitted.

               "You said you were willing to give me a chance?" He framed it as a question.

               "I am," I said with a nod.

               "Then give me a chance. Come on, let's shoot some virtual zombies and eat some much junk food we explode," he said.

               Like we used to. Just the two of us hanging out. Taliesin telling me how bad my aim is in video games and throwing chips at me. Me bitching he steals all the ammo and throwing chips right back at him. The two of us getting our drinks mixed up and then wondering why we spent so much time trying to determine whose was whose like we'd never swapped spit before.

               "Yea, fine, but don't hog the ammo," I said, shifting next to him.

               "I wouldn't have to hog all the ammo if you could aim," he said, handing me a controller.

               "I could learn to aim if you'd stop hogging all the ammo," I said.

               "We'd die so many times if I didn't have all the ammo and you know it," he said.

               "You're an ass," I reminded.

               "I'll be saving yours when you fuck up your shots," he said, grinning. "You're welcome, in advance."

               So we gamed, and we grabbed snacks, and we shit talked each other and laughed. It felt normal, easy.

               When Taliesin's mom called us down for dinner, we paused our game and went down to the kitchen. I sat down at the table, noting how there was no spot set for Mr. Torres.

               Mrs. Torres set foot down and joined us at the table. "How have you been, Gabriel? Anything new going on?"

               "No, just keeping busy with school work and the student council," I said.

               "How are your friends? I do miss Nadia. That girl knew how to knock some sense into you boys," Mrs. Torres said.

               "Oh, she still does," I said. "She's fine. They all are."

               "I'm not sure I'd ever say Leigh is fine. That girl's memory is so bad I'm surprised she remembers to breathe," Taliesin said. He paused as we heard a vibrating sound and took his phone out. He checked the ID and got up. "Gotta take this."

               "Taliesin," his mother said sternly.

               "Right, sorry, where are my manners. 'Scuse me folks, gotta take this. Hello?" He held the phone to his ear and left the room.

               "That boy," Mrs. Torres grumbled.

               It was a few minutes before Taliesin came back. His expression was that closed off one that meant he didn't want anyone to know what he was thinking.

               "Everything okay?" I asked.

               "Everything is fine," he said, which it clearly wasn't. Oh boy. Here we go again. Classic Taliesin.

               "Finish your dinner, Taliesin. And you better get your homework done," Mrs. Torres said.

               "Yea, I know, I know. I'll get on it after dinner," Taliesin said.

               We finished eating and I helped them pick up. Taliesin headed for the stairs, but I hesitated. He looked over his shoulder at me.

               "Coming?" he asked.

               "Nah. I'm going to head home. I have my own work to do, and my stuff's home," I said.

               "Suit yourself," he said. "See you tomorrow?"

               "Yea. See you tomorrow," I said.

               He turned and walked me to the door once I'd called out a goodbye to his parents. He held the door open for me as I put my shoes on.

               "Is everything really okay, Taliesin?" I asked.

               "Everything would be better if I didn't have homework to do." He checked the time. "My show's on at nine. This is going to be a crunch time night."

               Evasive. Of course.

               "Good luck, then," I said, turning away from him. "Goodnight."

               "Night, Gabe. And don't worry. Everything's going to be fine," he said.

               But I wasn't so sure about that.

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A.N.- Hey so uhhh I don't remember where this story was going or how to write these characters because it's been like 3 months since I last touched this mess, but here's an update and hopefully there are more to come? Anyways sorry I suck, I'm out here doing my gosh darndest