My laces are tight against my feet, keeping them trapped so my mind can be free.

As the early morning sunshine washes over my pounding head and feet, I feel my mind start to wonder.

You're the judge
Oh no
Set me free

If only. My surmounting issues have a death grip on my heart and my head, springing to life around me with all of the recent drama.

Gavin scaring us out of our wits, Logan indirectly telling me he likes me, freaking Nicolas advancing in the middle of the night, Ashley and Cooper, and Sam and Clair, denying the attractions to each other, my novel getting shut down again, keeping all of this inside...

Coming to an abrupt halt on the sidewalk, I sit down and scream for all it's worth.

Gavin. Logan. Nicolas. Ashley. Cooper. Sam. Clair. Me.

I can feel the few early-rising passerby's stares, but the weight of the sweat trickling down my neck, carrying all of my emotions away, is much heavier.

Gavin. Logan. Nicolas. Ashley. Cooper. Sam. Clair. ME.

I trace the lines in the concrete, trying to cement myself back down to the earth for a moment.

The sun pummeling my body; the thrum of music coursing through my veins; the slight breeze ruffling my braid; the rough texture of the sidewalk; the crisp scent of freshly mown grass- I let the sensations anchor my mind, body and soul in one fluid sweep.

My muscles spring up at my command, easing back into their mechanic run.

Think. Think. One foot in front of the other. One problem at a time.

Gavin.

Unconsciously, my feet quicken my pace.

Gavin isn't here. He's not my problem, and we won't (hopefully) ever see him again. We're all okay, and it was a one time deal. Just. Let. It. Go.

Logan... Oh lord. He's nothing but nice to me and the girls, but I don't even have any problem BUT him to worry about. And he hasn't done anything. Except not act on his spilled feelings that don't make any sense. Yet I still feel, know, I've betrayed him. And...

Oh gosh- Nicolas. I would say that that boy makes my blood boil, but something holds me back. He knows that his best friend likes me, and then he goes and- and does THAT at who knows what hour of the night! But I don't feel bad about it! And at the same time I do! He frustrates me more than anything; I haven't seen him since.

What am I supposed to do, when I'm not even the one running this show?

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

But what if I quit the show? I never was either of theirs... If they love me, they should let me go, or I will myself. Yeah. Since I don't want to be part of the games, then I'll stop playing. That's it. I'll have my own "Declaration of Independence"- except I'm not getting rid of Britain, just guys.

Now, Ashley and Cooper, and Sam and Clair. Why do I even care? If any of them wanted my help or worry, wouldn't they have come to me? I have a feeling they'll get it all sorted out...

And... my book. *sigh* It's a work in progress. The most I can do is to continue writing and searching for publishers. Just because they haven't seen any worth, doesn't mean there isn't any; I have got to stop obsessing over things I can't control.

Shaking my head to rid it of my plaguing evils, I try to smile. It's time to start my resolutions here and now.

Lifting my hand, I wave at the older lady watering her flowers and continue on my path in the neighborhood and in life.