the signs as actual things i have said

Aries:"Vermont? isn't that in like Canada or something???"

Taurus:"i'm sure that fish sandwich has a great personality"

Gemini:me - "that sounds fucky"

friend - "what does that mean??????????"

me - "fuck"

Cancer:"date the sun. kiss the sun....on second thought don't do that"

Leo:"it is clear what we must do. we have to kink shame our art teacher"

Virgo:"sans with megaton's legs is my new religion"

Libra:"i may have looked in the car mirror while you were gone. but who can blame me, i'm beautiful"

Scorpio:"damn girl who shit in your spaghetti"

Sagittarius:"i want the jolly fat man to slam dunk presents down my chimney"

Capricorn:"everything you touch turns into kink"

Aquarius:"stop tainting papyrus with your dirty porn fingers"

Pisces:"when i'm 34, i'll be living in Toronto, Canada with a few cats and no husband because i'm part lesbian"