I squat down as Matthias reaches me, his arms still outstretched. I stretch mine out, too. His smile is so bright, so wide. He has dark hair and eyes like me, like my dad. His nose is spotted with freckles. He looks down at my arms, his small fingers grazing the skin of my hands and wrists.

"Hi," I say as his hands clutch onto my forearms.

"Hi," his cheeks flush pink. Jesus. Are all kids this cute?

"Do you know who I am?"

He nods. "Maddie."

"That's right, Matthias. I'm your big sister."

"Ty," he scoots closer.

"They call you Ty?" He nods. They don't call him Matt. Harry squeezes my shoulder. I glance up at him, but he's looking past me. Over Ty's head, I see my father. I shake my head, casting my eyes to the floor. Fuck. He wasn't supposed to come.

Ty twists around and back. "That's my daddy," he asserts.

I look up into his eyes. "I know. He's my daddy too." I fold one arm around his back. "I heard that you watch the show." Ty nods again, burying his face against my shoulder. "Do you want to see where we make it? How we make it?" He nods again, folding his little arms around my neck. I stand, lifting him, and he wraps his legs around my waist. I look at Harry, completely unsure what to do. Until my father approaches. I hold my hand up to him, halting his progress. "Matthew."

"Madelyn."

"I would prefer if you stayed out here."

He looks at Ty, at Harry, at me. "I...okay." He walks over to where Mitch is standing.

"Okay, Ty, let's go." I turn to carry him inside the Harbor Lights soundstage.

Harry stops me. "I'm going to go back to your trailer and hang with Gemma."

"What? Why?" I am panicked. I have no idea how to talk to a kid. What if he falls? What if he has to go to the bathroom? Jesus. What the fuck do I do if he has to use the bathroom?

He kisses my hair. "Just giving you guys some time." I furrow my brow at him, and he smiles, but not his deep-dimpled smile. "You'll be fine." I watch him walk away.

Ty is watching him too. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"Yes," I smile at Ty. Shit. Should I have, like, introduced them? "Are you ready to go see the bookstore?" He nods. My arm is shaking from the weight of him. "Gosh, you're heavy, Ty. Can I put you down, and you walk over?" He tucks his head against my shoulder and shakes it, no. His hair smells like apples. "No? Okay." I hoist his weight higher on my hip and loop my other arm under his legs. I carry him through to the row of false fronts. I set him down outside the bookstore facade. He tips his head all the way back to look at everything. I do the same. Huh. Is that a fucking sock hanging from the top of the wall? What the hell?

I take his hand and lead him behind the façade. He gasps, looking around for a store. I can't help but laugh. He is so cute.

"Where's the rest?" He asks.

I point behind us. "It's the other side of this blank wall. Come on." I lead him out to the front again and past the other fake buildings.

"Are these pretend too?" He points at the stores and houses.

I nod. "It's all pretend, Ty." We turn the corner, and I show him the open sets, two or three sided rooms, like the family bedrooms, kitchen, and living room. When we get to the store, he touches the books, his fat fingers caressing their spines. "These are all real."

"Did you read them all?"

I shrug. "Nearly. Do you like to read?"

He nods. "Daddy said you like to read. So I like to read." Fuck. I smile, but my fucking eyes are filling with tears. Fuck. I turn away, heaving a sigh. Get it together, Maddie.

I pull down Harry Potter. "Have you read this?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I saw the movie."

"Oh, no. The book is so much better." I sit on the floor against the back of the overstuffed armchair and pat my lap. "Come here." He runs. Like he literally runs the four feet to me, crawling onto my lap with such a happy expression. I think I might fucking cry again. Instead, I kiss his head. I open the book wide, face down so he can see the full cover. Again, he runs his fingers over it. Then I flip it over and open it to the first chapter. He holds one side of it, so I loop my free arm around him. "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive," I read aloud, "were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much."

We lose ourselves in the book. He giggles when I do the voices, with accents, and I hold him close to me, running my fingers along his arm.

"Maddie! Are you in here?" Mitch calls.

"Yeah," I wave the book over the top of the chair. Ty climbs off my lap, and I stand. My feet are fucking asleep. "What's up?"

"You've been MIA for an hour."

"I'm not MIA. You saw me come in here."

"Yeah, but," he sighs. "Nevermind. Are you ready to film, or..."

"Sure. I just need to get Harry." Mitch rolls his eyes. What the fuck? Jesus, Mitch. Calm down. I take Ty's hand and lead him out of the soundstage and to my trailer, where Harry and Gemma sit, watching the fucking Grumpus movie. "Really? This shit?" I look down at Ty. "I mean, crap." They laugh at me. I roll my eyes. "Harry, Gemma, this is my little brother, Ty." I rest my hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at me. "Ty, this is my boyfriend Harry, and his sister, Gemma."

Harry turns the movie off and sits forward, leaning his elbows on his knees. "Hello." He holds out his hand, which Ty takes, shaking it up and down dramatically. "You've got quite a handshake, Ty."

Ty blushes and looks up at me. "Your boyfriend is Harry Potter?" It's the accent, I'm guessing.

I chuckle, sitting in the swivel chair where Lou does my hair and makeup. "No, he's better than Harry Potter. He's Harry Styles."

Ty widens his eyes. "Better than Harry Potter," he breathes the words like he's never heard anything so amazing. He looks at Harry. "Are you a wizard?"

I run my hand over Ty's hair. "Yes, yes he is." Harry shakes his head. I pull Ty onto my lap and address Harry. "Mitch wants to film some scenes. I don't want my father in there, but I'd like Ty to see. Can you guys come inside and stay with him?"

"Sure," Gemma says. "Come on, Ty, let's go back into the set." As she leads him away, I hear her talking about how excited she was to visit the set yesterday.

"Maddie," Harry pulls my focus back to him. "Be careful what you say about your dad in front of him."

I frown. "What did I say?"

"That you didn't want him in there. Ty looked confused and hurt when you said that." He gets up and crosses the small space to kiss me, his hair cascading around my face as he leans down. "He's obviously had a very different version of your father than you did." I nod, running my hand over his cheek, my finger dipping into his dimple.

He shakes his head. "Better than Harry Potter."

"Way better."

"How so?"

"You're real." He smiles down at me, kissing me again, just a swift peck.

Lou knocks at the open door. "Maddie, your father is upset. You should come out here."

Of course. What the fuck now? Harry and I hurry out to the soundstage, where my father holds Matthias in his arms. Gemma is leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong?" I ask, shading my eyes from the sun.

"You sent my son out here with a stranger, that's what's wrong."

I roll my eyes. "She isn't a stranger, Matthew. She's family."

"No. She's your boyfriend's family." He points at Harry, like he's some piece of shit.

"Exactly." In other words, asshole, he is my family. His family is my family.

My father starts to speak, but Ty puts his hand over his mouth, his fingers buried in the hair of his salt and pepper goatee. "He's better than Harry Potter, daddy. Harry Styles is a wizard."

My father laughs. "Is that so?" He turns to Harry, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "You do magic?" His sarcasm and mockery are not lost on me, though they are probably well veiled enough to fool Ty.

"Yes, he does," I say. "You're here, aren't you?" I raise my eyebrows, like, what?

He laughs again. "Fair enough." He sets Ty down. "Go on wizards of whatever place. I'll be out here when you're done."

Ty runs to Harry, who scoops him up. Harry nods at my father as he carries my brother into the soundstage. Gemma follows them in. I just stand there staring at this man. This man who fucking ruined my life. I shake my head. "Did you really like hearing me play the piano?"

He looks surprised by my question. Me too, Matthew. Me fucking too. "Yes, Madelyn. I really did." He sounds like he might fucking cry.

"Then why did you fucking smash my piano?" I shout. I mean, I fucking lean into it, using all the breath in my lungs.

He leans away, as if the force of my words might knock him over. Good. Fuck you. "I can't excuse it. I was drunk. Hungover, to be precise. It was so loud. I was so angry. Irrational." I stare at him, biting my lip to keep it from shaking. I will not fucking cry. He holds up his hands. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "Yes, you are."

I make my way to the set, and we film a few scenes; the dialogue is emotional, which is handy, because so am I. Fuck. Man, I just let it all out on Jenna's shoulder. Cal and Simon praise me for the performance, but I wasn't acting. I just let out my real self. Shit, maybe I should have done that all along. When we're done, I carry Ty back outside.

"Ty, I would really like to spend more time with you. Would you like that?"

"Yes!" He hugs me tight. "I love you, Maddie."

Fuck. I cry. I can't contain it. Harry rubs my back. "I love you, too, Ty." This kid is way too well-adjusted. I rub his back, and as we approach our father, I set him down. I squint at my dad. "Thanks for bringing him."

"Of course."

"I'd like to have him over to my house some time." He just nods. "Soon."

"Okay. I don't know how comfortable Sheri will be with him being there unless she meets your boyfriend." I look over my shoulder at Harry, who is waiting a few yards away. Fuck. I never formally introduced them either. I wave him over.

"Matthew," I gesture at Harry, "this is my boyfriend, Harry Styles. Harry, my father, Matthew Turner."

Harry shakes his hand. "I really enjoyed your book."

Matthew raises his eyebrows. "Oh? Well, thanks."

"So did I," I add. My dad looks like the world has turned upside down, and he's standing on the underside of a cloud. Shock. Just pure shock. I sort of want to laugh at his ridiculous expression. I put my hand in Harry's. "Magic," I whisper. I have made my father laugh again. I mean, what? I shake my head. "Maybe Sheri can meet Harry when she brings Ty up?"

"I'll discuss it with her," he says. "You could always come to our house."

I shake my head. "I don't think so." I look down at Ty, whose disappointed expression cracks my resolve. "Not this week, anyway. Harry's family is in town from England." I add quickly, "but I would still really like him to come up to my house. This weekend, maybe."

"I'll let you know." And they leave.

"Maddie," Mitch calls from the door to the soundstage, "can you come in for a bit on Friday? We're behind schedule." He walks over.

"Yeah. What time?"

"You tell me." We decide on 9, and then I ask him to come to my film screening tomorrow. And bring Jenna. And tell Cal and Simon. "Of course, kid. We wouldn't miss it." He pats my shoulder awkwardly. "You all right?"

I nod, smiling. "Did you see how fucking cute the kid was?"

He smiles back. "He reminds me a lot of you at that age."

Harry and Gemma and I load into the car and drive over to school. Gemma is going to spend the day with Liam in his classes. Uh huh. Yep. That ship is sailing. I turn in my seat to look at Gemma. "I'm sorry about my father."

She waves her hand. "It's fine. I get it. He doesn't know me."

"I hope he wasn't too much of an asshole."

"He wasn't an asshole at all, actually." And now I must look like the world is upside down. Backwards. Is it Opposite Day again?

Harry stays quiet as we make our way to school, to my class, between our classes. After class. On the way home. I keep talking, but he just doesn't really engage. What. The. Fuck.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Harry," I touch his arm.

He shakes his head. "I'm fine, Maddie." Fine. Fuck. And now I know what Dr. Kline meant when she said she could see my imaginary wall. Harry has built a wall around himself, and I'm on the other side. He pulls into the garage, parks, and goes inside, leaving me sitting in the car alone.

What the fuck did I do? Fuck. And now I'm fucking crying. I hate this. I hate the fucking wall. I thought it was awful to be on the inside, but this is so much worse. Like at least when it's your wall, you built it. You wanted to keep people out. But when it's someone else's wall, you're just shut out, locked out, left out. And you want in.

I go in, wiping my face with the back of my hands at the door. Anne is cooking toads in a puddle in the kitchen. She raises her eyebrows at me in alarm, and I just shrug and walk down the hall. Harry is in the bathroom with the door closed. I knock, but he doesn't answer. I try the knob, and it's unlocked, so I push it open. Harry is resting his palms against the edge of the counter, his head hanging down on his bare chest. I cover the space between us in three quick strides, running my hand down his back. "Harry, please tell me what's going on. I can tell you're mad. What did I do?"

He shakes his head, that long hair swishing around his face. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I love you. I'm sorry. I don't know what for, but I'm sorry. Please. Please talk to me." I start to cry again.

He finally looks up at me. "Couldn't you have held off on all this shit with your father until my family was gone?"

"Wait. What happened to I don't care who's here. I just don't want you to fall apart?" I'm so confused.

"Yeah, but then you just kept pushing it, bringing your father and Ty to the set. I mean, damn, Maddie you didn't think for one second about anyone else today."

I open my mouth to speak, but I don't know what to say. What does that even mean? Is he calling me selfish? There's a throwback. Or is he jealous? Finally, I whisper, "I don't understand. You're mad because I wanted to see my brother?"

He rolls his eyes. "No. Obviously not. I'm upset that you chose this moment to do it. Instead of enjoying my time with my mum and sister I have to worry about you and the shit with your father." Selfish.

Well, shit. I'm sorry I ruined your perfect fucking time with your perfect fucking family, so that my quite fucked up family could spend the morning together. I press my lips together. "I'm sorry." I'm so hurt and angry right now. I don't want to say something I will regret.

"Just...it's fine. I just want to enjoy my evening with them."

"Okay. I'm sorry." I retreat, curling myself into a ball on the bed, under the covers. Like entirely under the covers. I cry quietly, burying my face in his pillow. I don't understand. I mean, I guess I sort of do. I take a deep breath. I didn't want to read my dad's book because I thought I couldn't handle it. And then I choose the week Anne and Gemma are here to take it on. And he tried to warn me it wasn't the greatest time. And I read it anyway. And then I take Harry's time with them so he can babysit while I do my job. It does seem selfish. Sort of. Maybe I'm wrong, but it still feels like he's way too upset about this. Like, I get it, but isn't this extreme? Not talking to me all afternoon? And why didn't he say something sooner? And really, is there not room in our lives for both of our families at once?

I hear him getting dressed, drawers sliding shut crisply. And then he leaves the room, the door closing with a snap. My heart is aching. I fucking hate this. I can't tell if he's hurt, or angry, or both. Or...I don't know. I just hate this feeling. When I finally stop crying, I go into the bathroom and wash my face. I take out my contacts and put on my glasses, trying to hide the redness in my eyes. It only sort of works. But I'm starving, so I go out to the kitchen.

Anne greets me, "Hi, darling. Harry said you weren't feeling well. Are you all right?"

I nod. "Yeah. I'm okay. I'm really hungry." My voice is heavy from crying.

She smiles at me. "Perfect. Dinner is ready. It's just been cooling."

"Where's Harry?"

"He went to go pick up Gemma at the university." I nod again, climbing onto the barstool. He and Gemma walk through the door from the garage as if on cue. "Speak of my little devils, and they walk right through the door."

Harry freezes in the doorway, staring at me. I swear to fucking God, I have no idea what he could be thinking. He shakes his head, and I think he's telling me to go away. I feel that stinging in my chest like I might cry. I hop down off the stool and walk toward the hall. Just beyond the kitchen wall, where we're alone, he catches me from behind, folding his arms over my chest. "Stay and eat," is all he says. But he kisses my hair. I'll take it. Fuck I'm pathetic. I'll take a fucking kiss on my hair. I'll take whatever fucking morsel of affection he will give me. He starts to pull away, but I clutch his arms to me. He sighs heavily. I kiss his hands. He kisses my hair. I bite his hand. He breathes out a laugh. I lick his hand. "Eaughhh." I laugh, turning in his arms. His eyes are guarded, the wall so clearly visible. I kiss him, my lips sliding softly over his.

"I love you."

His voice is deep and raw. "I love you." My stomach growls. He laughs. "Come eat. Mum made toads in a bucket." I smirk up at him.

Dinner is...awkward. Anne and Gemma are quiet, unusual for both of them. Harry and I are quiet, unusual for both of us. Robin talks a lot--unusual for him--as if he is desperately trying to fill the empty air with something, anything. After dinner, I clean the kitchen, then head back to the bedroom. I guess I'm going to give him space? And time? Time and space to be with his family. I guess. I mean. I guess. I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing, really. Like, ever.

Hours pass, and I'm still just sitting there alone in my bed. My bed? Fuck. Fuck.

All I've done for the last few hours is cry and write this stupid fucking journal. It's one in the morning, and he still hasn't come to bed. Fuck this. I need him. I need us to be okay.

I walk down the hall, which is quiet and dim, but I can see the kitchen light on. As I get closer, I hear his voice. Fuck. He's crying. This is what I do to him.

"She looked so hurt and so confused, and I know I'm being selfish, but..." he is sitting on the barstool, leaning against his mom's shoulder. Anne smiles at me as she rubs his back.

I add my hand to hers. "No, you're not."

He sits upright, looking at me with a desperate expression. "How long have you been there?"

I shake my head, "just got here." I kiss him. "Harry, you're not being selfish. I'm sorry. I should have waited. But when I see you with Gemma," I start to cry. Fuck. I rub my chin, hoping to stop its wobbling. "Correction, when I see Gemma with you, when I see what a loving, protective sister she is, it makes me realize how wrong I was to turn my back on Ty, to abandon him." Harry shakes his head, tears still dripping down his face. "I held him for like a minute the day he was born, and then I never saw him again. I should have been there for him."

"Oh, baby. You'll be there for him now." He caresses my face.

"Yes, I will," I lean my cheek against his hand, "but this could have waited a few days. It was just one of those impulses I get. I saw his book and decided to read it. I wanted to see Matthias, so I made it happen."

He smiles and says, "Those impulses usually work out."

I chuckle, kissing him again. "Yes, they do. And it did again."

"You have good instincts."

"I mean, I guess." He laughs. I take a deep breath. "But Harry, I should have considered how this would stress you out. I know how you worry. And I really didn't want to ruin your time with your family. I shouldn't have done something that could have ruined it." He just blinks at me, his wide green eyes still leaking. "Honestly, I think you worry too much. I know you've seen me fall apart, but you've also seen me pull myself back together. I'm okay. I really am."

He stands, taking my face in his hands. Oh. Have I broken through the wall? "I know. I know you are. And I shouldn't have made this a big deal. You haven't spoiled my time with my family. I wouldn't have this time with my family if it weren't for you. I should be thanking you." He kisses me.

I shake my head, grinning at him. "I wouldn't have my family either, if it weren't for you. And, it gives me pleasure to bring you and your family together, Harry." I run my fingers through his hair.

"Same," he murmurs, pinching the smile that wants to escape.

"Jesus, Harry. I love you."

"Yes, I answer to both," he smirks at me.

"Harry!" Anne squawks. Shit, I didn't even realize she was still in the room. I kiss him, full on. Right in front of his mother. "Well, I'm going to head off to bed," she says, retreating down the hall.

"I love you, Maddie. I'm sorry for getting angry."

"Harry, it's okay to be angry. We both have to be free to feel whatever we feel, but you told me to turn to you in hard times. Back atcha, love. I need you to turn to me, not away from me."

He nods, his hands still cupping my face. "I will." He kisses me, his tongue slowly sliding between my lips. I suck his lower lip into my mouth, then push my tongue against his. "Oh, baby, I need you. I want to make love to you." He presses his hips against mine, moving us further into the kitchen.

"Mmm. Me too, but I don't know if I can stay quiet. I might need to moan your name a few times." He laughs. "I'm serious. Like, how do people with kids do this?"

He shakes his head, "They don't, I think. I mean, that's the joke, right?" I shrug. "Why don't we go in the TV room? That's far enough away from everyone."

I shake my head, running my hand down his chest and lifting his shirt. I put my hand on his heart; it's beating so fast. "There's no door. Someone could come in."

He grins like a dimpled lunatic. "That's part of the fun. Sneaking around on couches, like teenagers hoping our parents won't catch us." He paws my breasts, kissing my neck.

"We are teenagers hoping our parents won't catch us." I pull his hips closer.

His lips graze my ear. "The car? We could go somewhere?"

I squeak, "In the car?" He nods. I widen my eyes. "Oh god, Harry. If we got caught...That would make the top of the fucking news."

"Maybe we should just go back to the bedroom."

"Fuck it. Let's just do it here," I palm his erection over his sweatpants.

He closes his eyes, a low moan escaping his perfect pink lips. "What happened to someone walking in?" He slips his fingers into my shorts, rubbing that sensitive spot.

I moan, "We could do it on the floor."

"That would be so obvious if someone walked in." Why are we wasting so much time discussing this? "The counter."

I roll my eyes. "And your bare ass thrusting against my open legs wouldn't be obvious?" He laughs. I widen my eyes. "Laundry room!" It is as far from the bedrooms as you can get, and it has a door.

"Yes." We go into the small space and survey our options. The machines are too tall, the counter has low cupboards over it. It will have to be the floor. I slide his sweat pants down and push him to sit cross-legged against the wall by the door. I remove my pajama shorts and climb onto his lap, guiding his erection with one hand. "Ohh. Yes, baby." I wiggle down further, throwing my head back. He tangles his fingers in my hair, pulling my face closer. "Look at me, Maddie." I open my eyes, his green gaze piercing mine. With his other hand, he pulls my hips down lower. "I love you, Madelyn. I love you so much."

I lift my hips and roll them down and forward. "Harry," I moan. "I love you." I start to move faster.

He grabs my hips and slows my pace. He grunts, gulping, "slow down." I push down as far as I can spread my legs. "Look at me." I open my eyes and shift my hips slowly forward. He crushes his lips against mine, a passionate, almost desperate kiss. I roll my hips back and up, and forward and down. I can barely breathe. "Oh, Maddie." He breaks the kiss, and I pull him tight to me, pressing the side of my face to his as I rock faster.

"Oh, fuck," I can feel the heat spreading over my lower body, that aching need building. "Harry. Oh god." My hands are shaking, my lips are shaking, my whole fucking body is shaking as I come undone.

He lays me back onto the floor and thrusts into me faster. "I love you. I love you," he shudders and stops. "Oh, Maddie, I love you." He runs his hand down my arm. "Baby, you're shaking." I nod. "Shock?" He smirks.

"No," I smile, pushing his long hair out of his face. "I love you so much, Harry, I can't physically contain it." I shiver.

He kisses me forcefully, gently pulling my hair. "You're my whole world, Maddie. I need you. I love y--"

Click. Click.

Click. Click.

Click. Click.

"Someone's out there," I whisper, still shaking.

"Merowwwww," Molly wails.

Harry and I look at each other and crack up. He rests his head on my chest, our bodies shaking with laughter. "Come on, baby, let's go to bed." Harry pulls me to my feet and folds his arms around my waist. "Maddie, you are the strongest woman alive. I love you."

"I love you, Harry. Thank you. Thank you for helping me get my family back."

He shakes his head. "You give me credit for the things you do. You brought your mom and Ty back into your life."

I kiss his dimpled cheek. "Yes, but I couldn't have without you beside me." I kiss his pink lips. "You're a wizard, Harry." I do my best Hagrid accent.

His laugh crinkles his eyes. "Said the girl in the Harry Potter glasses."

"Ack!" I cover my face with my hands. I completely forgot I was wearing my glasses. He laughs at me. I peek at him. "They're not Harry Potter glasses."

He kisses me. "You look so cute. I love you."

Fuck, it's past two when we finally crawl into bed and go to sleep. I text Mitch before I go to sleep to tell him I won't be on set until 6, so that I can get one more hour of sleep. But I promise him I'll stay longer on Friday.