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What started out feeling something innocent and one-sided for someone I have liked for a while was supposed to be harmless. It made me feel a certain thrill, an agony of longing every time I see him. The hasty decisions people make because of love could greatly change them, be it a life-changing alteration or merely a small push to their purpose. It was a gamble to see the result of getting rejected, and if you were lucky, to get what you want in the end.

But what was the meaningful purpose behind it?

Well, to be quite frank, having a crush on someone was something you categorize as trivial. In a way, there were more pressing issues to deal with than pining over someone who doesn't even notice your worth. I still had student loans to pay and a sick father to take care of.

Alas, I was a fool anyway.

We were at Jonny's apartment as our friends from a class we shared had gathered tonight for drinks and game night. It was a beer and poker kind of weekend. Since I didn't know how to play poker, I had sat comfortably with them as a spectator while I drank my beer. As the night grew, playing drunken poker had been more eventful. Beck had started to curse like a sailor, damning them to hell if she loses more chips while Rob started to play strip poker by himself. I had laughed quietly as the game had turned chaotic. When one player started to puke, everyone had groaned in disgust which made everyone stop playing completely. They all went home after that, leaving Jonny and me with a thrashed living room.

I started picking up the empty beer bottles and put them into a garbage bag. Jonny emerged from the kitchen with another beer in hand. Drunk off his mind, he pointed to the puke that was gloriously targeted on his floor. He had witnessed the scene earlier, making him repeat his reaction.

"Fuck, get that off my floor!" He wobbled his way into the living room and sat comfortably onto the couch.

"There's no way I'm cleaning that," raising my hands in surrender.

"Come on Sab. You know I could always count on you." He whined.

I never thought he would see me in that way. This unhealthy crush I was having on Jonny had gone too far. It was gullible of me to even believe him, but I did.

From the kitchen, I got the dirtiest rag I could find and scooped up all the puke and immediately thrown it in the trash. After going through sanitizing everything, including my hands, I went back to the living room to see Jonny sprawled on the couch.

"Move over." I threw his feet off the couch as I made space for myself. When my ass landed onto the soft material, I sighed in relief. I felt so dizzy already it was impossible for me to go home.

My eyelids had started to droop. I was succumbing to sleep when I felt something heavy or rather someone, trying to suffocate me. Jonny had moved position and made it to the point to sleep on top of me. I tried wriggling myself off, but his arms were too strong when he decided to snake them around my torso.

I struggled to escape from his grasp, "Jonny, what are you doing?" 

"You smell good Sab." He muffled into my shirt.

"Stop being creepy," I used both my hands to lift his head off me. But of course, his head decided to be heavy and slumped back to its original position. I groaned, wanting this nightmare to end.

I yelled into his ear, "Jonny! Wake up!"

He lifted himself off of me and sat up, yawning sleepily. "Fine, I'm awake."

"Good. I should probably head home." The small panic I felt made me a little sober. I stood up and grabbed my leather satchel from the ground when Jonny's hand had stopped me from going any farther.

I groaned, "What now?"

When he didn't reply, he pulled me to him with so much force that made me hit my head back onto the couch. I was in a state of shock when his piercing green eyes were staring right in front of me. He just stared at me for a moment when he slowly dipped his head until his lips had touched mine. It had ignited something from inside of me. These feelings I had for Jonny weren't just a crush but it was definitely something more.

We had been friends since I started university but I never thought this day would come. He had never shown any signs that he was interested in me. Jonny dated many girls but was never into a long-term relationship. He would soon realize the girl wasn't for him. I never intervened when he dated but it hurt to look whenever he brought them to the café.

We were kissing with so much desire that I forgot to stop myself. It was greedy of me when I wanted him tonight. This was definitely wrong, but it felt so right at the same time. He lifted me from the couch and in a reflex my legs wrapped around his hips, carrying me like I was nothing but a fluffy pillow. He slowly guided us to his bedroom all the while gradually removing our clothing one by one.

He wasted no time and got to the point. Jonny took care of me. He was gentle but rough when I would moan louder, a sound that he liked to hear as I purr in approval. He savored every inch of me, making me feel I was a goddess he worshipped. We took our time getting to know each other's physique. There were no words involved but rather we made each other feel how we perfectly fit right with one another.

We ended the night with our passion-filled screams as we both found our release. My breath was ragged as I felt light-headed. Jonny was still on top of me. We waited out as our rapid heartbeats calmed. I expected to be spooned by him, to fall asleep in his arms. However, he just turned around to face the other side of the room and went to sleep. I was disappointed, to say the least. My mind was reeling with all the possibilities on what we had done had meant. It took me a few hours to finally fall asleep next to Jonny. But when sleep did come, it was already around six in the morning.

When I woke up after a few hours, the space on the bed next to me, felt cold. It could only mean that Jonny left hours ago. I looked around his bedroom to see if he had left anything for me. Unluckily, there was no note and my clothes were still scattered around his room.

He just left like last night was anything but nothing.

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