Low on self esteem so you run on gasoline.  . .

Grace didn't care too much for American pop culture or its music industry. In fact, apart from Rihanna — who was a boss ass woman — she didn't really listen to their songs, hell, music even wasn't her thing but Tope always took that indifference as a challenge, when she'd tried and failed to convert Grace to the Swiftie fandom, she'd spent yesterday trying to force her Halsey obsession on Grace, in the end, she'd failed again but she did succeed in high jacking Grace's new phone and changing the ringtone to Gasoline by Halsey and now, Grace had never related to a song more.

There were times when her anxiety hit the peaks, there were days when she didn't even want to get out of bed. Today was one of those days and every glance at the calender sent her heart galloping.

In six days, Remilekun Phillips would be coming for her. There was the big chance that all their well thought plans would fail and there was an even bigger chance that The ORION Project was onto their plans already.

There was so much what ifs that it made her head spin to think of it. Although they couldn't afford doubtful thinking, in a matter of hours, she'd be meeting with Dayo Kingston, who'd reached out yesterday and declared that she would be coming over to the house on the same day Tolu was meeting with the rest of the ARTEMIS council. Nobody knew what to think of Firepemi's mother, Tolu had told her the brief story of how his younger sister had been the first to join ORION, naive like he'd been, apparently she was the bait to lure him to joining the organization. There seemed to be a lot of simmering resentment when Tolu spoke of his sister, he said in the end, Dayo had picked her side when Tolu and Tamika had needed her help.

Grace remembered meeting the woman briefly, the first time at the Dome, she hadn't been quite cold but she remembered how Dayo Kingston seemed to look everywhere at her. In fact, she'd struck Grace as a docile woman, now she wondered if Dayo Kingston was another person that was more than she appeared.

She kicked the covers away and sat up. She reached for her phone on the nightstand, there were several message alerts on the screen, most of them were from network providers, one of them was from Sanmi, telling her that he wasn't coming home, it was from seven hours ago, three am. Grace bit down her lip.

It wasn't unusual for Sanmi to spend the night out, but as far as she knew, he didn't have a job that kept him out late, the only time he did stay out was because he was high out of his mind and didn't want her to know, Sanmi usually hid when he was ashamed. Now, she wasn't sure if it was the same case, since she'd returned from Abuja, they hadn't really spoken but when they did, he always seemed sober — even if he was distant.

It shamed her to think that she was so distant from her family that she didn't even know how they were doing. She swiped on the message and fired a quick message at him.

You coming later?

There was a blue tick almost immediately after she sent it, telling her that he'd read it. The bubble appeared soon after.

Yeah.

Just one word, granted, Sanmi wasn't much of a texter. She considered calling him, but there was a part of her that didn't want to know, didn't want to consider that he wasn't clean like she thought. So she sent another message.

I want you there, Sanmi.

His message came a minute later as she was deleting the messages from Glo and 9mobile.

I know.

That was that, she didn't text back and he didn't send another message. Grace was scrolling mindlessly through instagram when a new message came in. She frowned when she saw it, pretending like her heart wasn't going into overdrive because of it.

Can I call?

She didn't wait for him to and called first. Kendrick answered swiftly

"Good morning," He said. As if they were strangers.

"What?" Grace asked curtly. If he could tell her that he liked her, kiss her without no intention of anything serious then he could go to hell for all she cared. Grace didn't even hate him, she hated that she couldn't hate him, because it wasn't even his fault, when he'd kissed her he hadn't promised marriage and babies or even a relationship. She'd been the fool to expect it.

His voice was soft when he spoke. "Are you mad at me?"

"Did you really just me that?" Grace asked incredulously. "Of course I'm furious and rightfully so."

"I want to talk about why," He said. He sounded tired all of a sudden. "It's not for the reasons you think, I'm an idiot."

"Talking won't solve anything, but fine, talk all you want," Grace said.

"Not now, not on the phone, can I come over tomorrow?"

She laughed a little at his question. Despite all Tolu's attempts to make her feel welcome, she wasn't sure his home was hers. Before meeting ORION, Grace had dreamt of one day being like the rich people in movies, she'd wanted a mansion of her own but now, she realized that home wasn't really the house she lived in, home was wherever Sanmi was, where Ewatomi and Rafael were.

"It's not my house."

It was Kendrick's turn to laugh and he did so throatily. She could imagine how his eyes would crinkle with the action. He made a tutting sound would have sounded childish if anyone else did it. If he weren't so damn likeable, she thought.

"It is your house, every inch of it, you could even kick out your father if you wanted and he'd leave with a smile on his face."

"Every inch of it," He repeated softly. "Don't forget it."

When he hung up, his words stayed with her. Grace laughed to herself because they had been exactly what she needed, it was her house, her life and she'd be damned if Remilekun Phillips made her afraid of living it.

* * *

Tolu Kingston was the youngest man on The ARTEMIS Project council. The conference room was upstairs and overlooked the flower garden in front of the house, Grace was looking outside the floor to ceiling length window, waiting for Sanmi.

When the council of eleven (including Tolu) had arrived, she'd been ignored from the greetings but the older men still couldn't hide the stares they sent her. At this point, she was used to the stares, although it didn't seem that it was exactly her they were fascinated by, it was that when they looked at her, it was probably her mother's face they saw.

Just an hour before they arrived, Grace had taken Tolu's offer to see the photo album he kept of her mother. Everywhere she looked, there was that wide smile that reminded Grace of herself, except, they weren't all that alike, Tamika seemed playful in the picture she was in, there was a particular picture that had caught her eye, according to Tolu, it had been taken on the day they wrote their final university exams. In the picture, Tamika had been beaming at the camera and she'd been pinching Tolu's face in an attempt to get him to smile.

Grace thought she saw Tolu blink back tears when he'd turned away. When everyone looked at her, they saw Tamika Afolabi Kingston. It was uncomfortable sometimes, but it was also something she could use against the ARTEMIS council.

Tolu had told her that ARTEMIS weren't the noble heroes she'd expect them to be, they were made up of ruthless businessmen and politicians, in the end, they would only agree to the merging if something was in for them, after all, ORION and ARTEMIS hadn't split for nothing.

Grace removed her gaze from the window as silence dawned on the spacious white room. Sanmi wasn't here, he wasn't coming. The thought made her chest squeeze tight. She'd have to do this without him, another time where her big brother wasn't there for her.

"You look so much like your mother." The oldest among them said flatly. His whole afro was white and his face was lined with wrinkles of old age. His lips were unsmiling, so different to the pictures the press took of him. Here was Ademola Adetutu, one of Nigeria's richest men in the country, the last year's ranking of him was fifth.

"He's also big on family, I will be affectionate, Grace, it might win him to our side." Tolu had told her. Now he was nodding at her with a slight smile on his face, it looked so foreign that it startled her.

Grace hesitated for a moment, struggling to say something that would sound like something Tamika would have said.

"So everyone tells me." She said a little too late with a forced smile on her face. Mr Ademola just raised his bushy brows, he reminded her a little of Wole Soyinka.

"I'm honored that you gentlemen took time out to attend this impromptu meeting." Tolu began.

A younger looking man gave a snort, he looked to be in his fifties. "We had no choice, after all, you've kept the details of the recent discovery from us."

"For good reasons, I'm afraid I couldn't risk sending something of such magnitude over the phone." Tolu said lightly.

Grace leaned back in her seat, then leaned forward as Tolu caught them up to date about everything, there was silence through it all, the tension thickening as the story rounded off to an end.

Afterwards, there was a pause that told Grace they weren't sure how to react to the news.

"So you say that Project Eden is nothing but a joke? Some foolish chase created by your dead wife?" Ahmed Giwa asked incredulously. Grace remembered what Tolu had told him about the governor. He was recently inducted on the council and was mostly after the power the secrets of Project Eden could give him over his enemies.

He wasn't going to take their sides when there was nothing in for him.

"Excuse me, a foolish chase, you call it but the secrets of Eden would have been useless if Remilekun Phillips already had it. Besides, there is the matter of the oil well currently owned by an unsuspecting Jié Yong." Grace swept in, feigning a superiority that took the men aback. Tolu had a smile behind his palm.

Her own confidence surprised her too but there was no time to show it. She'd managed to shut down Governor Ahmed and placate him with the mention of the oil well at the same time. Even if there was no chance that Jié Yong would sell, especially since Kendrick had made the decision to tell his father about it.

Governor Ahmed shot her an incredulous look but he said nothing.

"Tolu, we split from ORION over a lack of transparency, the original oath we swore when the organization was found was broken when they stopped caring about keeping government secrets, secret." A stockish man said softly. Ansel King, former advisor to the president. He was probably the only man who cared solely about the original oath. "Once we merge again, a splitting will not be so easy."

"I am sorry, it cannot be done."

Tolu didn't look fazed, only nodded and looked to the bulky folder before him, then he opened it and began handing printed evidence of Project Eden, he passed a copy to every man and then down to Grace where she sat at the head of the table.

"ORION has prided itself on its discretion, if we leak something like this from their own Dome, accusing their own president, they will have lost that discretion once the public gets wind of it. Here is where we swoop in, convince them of the old oath, get them to sign it on paper if we want, because they will need us. Under this newer council, ARTEMIS has thrived, on our own, we gathered a whole new truth about the terrorist group haunting the north and their secret political backings — with evidence I might add."

Tolu slammed the folder down for effect and Grace wanted to hug him.

"Trust me, ORION will want to merge with us, we have the upper hand, and we will finally be rid of Remilekun Phillips and his son's reign."

There was another silence, this time, filled with consideration.

"We vote on it." Ansel King announced. He looked around the table. "All in favour of the merge?"

Five hands rose up out of eleven, Grace's heart sank. Governor Ahmed gave her a pointed smug look.

"I see," Ansel King began to say, but Grace was already jutting up from her seat.

"Three billion dollars," She said sharply. Tolu Kingston stood at the utterance of those words.

"Tamika, no." It was a shock when he mentioned that name and she knew he wasn't referring to her dead mother. Tamika was what they'd named her too. She swallowed but continued.

"My mother is worth three billion dollars and I am the sole heir to her wealth. I'm offering one billion of that wealth to back The ARTEMIS Project."

There was another silence and Tolu Kingston was glaring at her. He must have thought that she was willingly giving away everything, that she wanted nothing to do with her mother.

Governor Ahmed smiled that razor sharp smile. "Make it two billion and you have my vote."

* * *

Grace was waiting for him when she returned. Her face was tight with barely concealed anger and even if he wanted to chuckle tiredly at how furious she looked wearing a rabbit onesie, he knew he'd only get slapped.

"3am, doing the walk of shame huh?" Grace asked.

"I'm sorry," Sanmi said, because there was nothing else he could say, no whispered excuses that would ever make him less of the worst human being in the world. He'd spent most of the day, up on the roof of an uncompleted in the same estate, he'd wanted to jump, to take the pills he'd bought from a pharmacy and just forget everything, permanently.

Maybe she saw that infinite exhaustion, because she suddenly went slack against the wall she was leaning on and slid down the floor. It was only then he caught Ewatomi too, standing in the hallway. She stepped closer into the foyer light and smiled hesitantly at him.

"You relapsed." Grace stated. There was no anger in her words, just bone crushing sadness. He hated himself the more for it.

Sanmi nodded once. He could have lied, but lies stopped helping a long time ago. For once, he wanted to share that burden.

"Fuck, yeah," He breath out. He walked to where Grace sat and sat besides her on the cold floor. "That isn't the worst part."

Grace raised her head up and before he knew it, she was crushing him into a hug and he wasn't crying, just leaning into her strength because he was so, so tired.

"I met Joshua." The three words he spoke muffled into her shoulders made her stiffen. She pulled away and he waited for the hate to fill her eyes, for Ewa to turn and decide her sleep wasn't worth an empty vessel.

But she didn't, instead she knelt in front of them and pulled him into a tighter hug.

"We'll fix this, Sanmi, do you remember what you told him?" Grace asked when Ewa pulled away.

That was the most shameful part, that he hadn't only relapsed, that as soon as he was handed that fucking envelop, he was snorting cocaine in front of Joshua Phillips. He didn't even remember what he said, or what he didn't, only remembered feeling like useless dog after. Phillips hadn't even laughed, or taunted him, only stared with a hollow blankness in his stare that made Sanmi flinch now.

"I don't remember." He said blankly.

Grace inhaled a sharp breath but she nodded.

"I don't hate you, Sanmi, neither of us do, but I think you hate yourself." Ewa said softly.

"This self destructive behavior is only going to eat away at your until you are nothing left. You need help, Ilesanmi, but we cannot help you unless you want to help yourself."

There came the big reveal. Grace needed him, he knew, but she didn't need a brother who would sell her on the line for another line. She needed him alive and although he knew this, it would take several times for him to stop feeling guilty about it, to stop feeling guilty about making himself a priority.

"I've been looking at Rehabilitation centers, and tomorrow, I'm checking myself into one."

* * *

Dayo Kingston's text came at four am, from an old number that sent chills down Toluwanimi Kingston's spine. It was from Tamika's phone number, an old one that he'd thought was lost when she died.

Couldn't come today, ORION on to me.