No "confession" yet here because.

Warning: child abuse, implied kidnapping, blood, violence  (just short but still!) 

~

Xie Lian

There was a new child. 

But this one was different. You see, all children stay together in one room. They would wait for their turn to be sold off to bad people, and although Xie Lian badly wanted to help, he couldn't. He was just ten years old. What could a ten-year-old do against big bad guys?

His task was simple: make sure every kid ate. And no, the portions were not that great either. It was enough to get by, enough to fill their stomachs. And for a ten-year-old boy, it was baffling. And each year that passed by living under that vile man's roof was like a blur to the young boy. 

And perhaps, he hadn't realized fully yet how dire his situation was.

Xie Lian was tracing something on the ground when the bad man in white came and stopped his tracks right where he was. He was holding a smaller child. The child looked small but he looked neat with his dress shirt tucked in his shorts. His hair was wavy and so black. He was cute. And looked so stubborn. 

The other child's face held no emotion but his eye had a fire in it. Too bad, Xie Lian couldn't see his other eye since his bangs fell right on top of it to hide it. 

"This boy will be staying in Room 2."

He had a room for himself, unlike other kids. That was what set him apart. The bad man in white just told him because he would be the one giving the food to the kids. 

Then, the bad man went away, tugging the boy by his elbow. There was little resistance in those feeble limbs but Xie Lian knew he didn't stand a chance to escape. 

Nobody did. 

Xie Lian's ear was ringing. He dropped a glass of water when the bad man asked for it. He didn't mean for it to slip from his small hands. But the bad man in white was angered by it and slapped him hard.

Immediately, Xie Lian's eyes were filled with tears as he bit his lower lip. His hands were holding his cheek as if it would ease the sting. 

"You, my child, are useless."

"Gege? Gege, please wake up. Please."

Xie Lian jolted awake. His throat felt dry and his eyes stung.

"There." The man hovered over him wiping his tears gently. "You're okay, gege." Hua Cheng helped him sit and drink water. 

Xie Lian felt a lot better. Nightmares weren't new to him and sleeping beside San Lang had helped chase those away. But right now, San Lang wasn't sleeping beside him. He had been sleeping on the couch. 

"If you wanna talk about it, I'm here." Hua Cheng brushed his hair softly. 

"Hmm, thank you, San Lang. Maybe next time." He didn't want to talk about it yet. He didn't want to visit down the memory lane and feel all the regret, fear, guilt, and grief bottled up inside him. Perhaps, eventually, but not now. 

"Anytime." Hua Cheng slowly and carefully assisted him to lay down again. "You can sleep again, gege. I promise I'll stay up until you sleep."

Xie Lian giggled lightly and sleepily. "No need, San Lang. I'm fine."

"I'm not." He pouted in a teasing manner. "This San Lang doesn't like if his gege is hurting or not comfortable in any way."

"Hmm," Xie Lian hummed, indulging. "San Lang is so strong. He chases my nightmares away."

"As I should." Hua Cheng scrunched his nose. "Now, sleep, gege."

The second time Xie Lian opened his eyes, he knew it was morning because San Lang was hovering over his face like he was waiting for him to wake up, not that he thought the man wouldn't do it if it were evening. Hmm, San Lang was unpredictable like that. And he was hovering over me 

"Good morning, gege!" The young man beamed at him like the sun. Xie Lian could only exhale fondly. The feelings he was harboring only grew more ever since last night, when he knew Hua Cheng wasn't really in a relationship with Yin Yu. 

Xie Lian somehow wanted to smack himself for ever thinking that Hua Cheng was the type of person who would be unfaithful to his lover. 

"Why is your face red, gege?" The younger smirked. 

How could he not blush when he was connecting the dots inside his head. So, I am the person San Lang likes? Xie Lian may be oblivious and inexperienced, naive to a certain degree. But he wasn't dumb. But why can't San Lang just tell me directly?!

"I'm sorry," Xie Lian said. "I doubted your intentions..." It was somehow implied that indeed Hua Cheng had intentions of wooing him, of having him, of being romantically involved with him.

Hua Cheng shifted from sitting to resting have of his body on the bed. His cheek rested on his palm while he was staring at Xie Lian. "It's not your fault. If there is any, it's mine..." He smiled tightly. And Xie Lian could see how his eyes dimmed. "For now, let's focus on your healing, okay?"

Xie Lian nodded. "Hmm." Whatever they needed to talk about could be set aside first. Hua Cheng wasn't going anywhere nor was he, as if Hua Cheng would allow him to leave. "But can I call Feng Xin and Mu Qing now?"

There was a slight downward tugging of Hua Cheng's upper lip. The man was displeased just from hearing those names and Xie Lian couldn't understand why. If it was because of their first meeting, well, San Lang couldn't fault the two officers! If this was because they were policemen, then, perhaps, he could understand the animosity. "Only because you badly want to talk to them." Hua Cheng turned to pick up his phone from the bedside table. 

"Why does San Lang dislike them?" Xie Lian was curious about what the man had to say. 

"I just don't!" Hua Cheng huffed petulantly. "Gege, you always mention them... Feng Xin, Mu Qing, Feng Xin, Mu Qing... Can't it be just San Lang?"

If it wasn't painful to laugh, Xie Lian would have burst out laughing. He didn't know why but happiness was easy with San Lang. It may be annoying for some - to be wanted this way, but Xie Lian loved it. "They're my friends, San Lang. I don't have many friends so when I make a few, I want to keep them as friends."

"Then, how about me?" San Lang pouted adorably. If Xie Lian would tell the world that the feared Hua Cheng would pout to get what he wanted, no one would believe him. 

And it was okay for him. 

It was only for him to see. 

"San Lang is a special friend." Xie Lian blushed. There was nothing wrong with calling the man his friend. But he was blushing still because they both knew he wasn't just a friend. 

"Oh~" Hua Cheng blinked. "No one else is comparable to me for gege. Am I right?"

"You're so shameless, San Lang."

Hua Cheng grinned. "Only for gege... Now that this one is special, let's call Feng Xin."

He's so... cute. "Hmm, please do." Xie Lian tried to smile. 

"Okay. I'm phoning him. There... it's ringing. I'll put it on loudspeaker." 

"Hello?" Was the grumpy response Xie Lian heard. "Who's this?"

Hua Cheng looked at him.

Xie Lian cleared his throat. "Uhm, Feng Xin. This is Xie Lian."

"Shorty! How are you!?" 

"It's your shortyhfsih!?" There was a commotion in the background. And Hua Cheng frowned. Xie Lian was grinning because he knew it was Mu Qing. And it was heart-warming to know that they were waiting for him to contact. "Give mefsjalhgr!"

"Hughdslfg!"

"I don't like them, gege." Hua Cheng rested his forehead on his shoulders. To which, Xie Lian just responded with a soft giggle. He hadn't been with San Lang anywhere near other people except for when they were with Yin Yu. So, Xie Lian really couldn't say if not liking other people was Hua Cheng's natural state. 

"Hello? Hello, Xie Lian. We haven't heard from you for days. Mayor Jun Wu even called us," it was Mu Qing.

"Yeah, hello. I'm sorry. I just got into a certain circumstance that I cannot disclose for now. I'll just inform Mayor myself. I was going to call you too."

"Hmph! Is that man involved? Is he hurting you?"

Hua Cheng snappily looked up with furrowed brows. "I would never!" he mouthed. 

"He's actually the one helping me now. It's getting better." Xie Lian blushed and looked away from Hua Cheng. "I just need some time off. That's all."

"Hmm~"

"AHdjksfhdlag" There was a commotion again. 

"Shorty! You got us! We're just a call away, okay?"

Xie Lian smiled. "Thank you. I'll see you both."

Hua Cheng snatched the phone from his hand and ended the call. What else could Xie Lian do if Hua Cheng acted so adorably with his pouty lips and furrowed brows? "San Lang..." Xie Lian sighed. 

"I'm the who's one call away," Hua Cheng grumbled under his breath and it seemed that he didn't intend that Xie Lian would hear him. 

Xie Lian smiled softly. "Aren't you happy that there are people who would come to my rescue if I needed help?"

"Gege is too trusting. You've just known them for a little while."

"I've known you for a little while too, San Lang," he coaxed the man to look at him by tipping his head up. There was something in San Lang's eyes that wanted to tell him something but couldn't. "So, trust me. I know whom to trust."

"I couldn't know for sure." Hua Cheng looked away. "You cannot find someone more sincere than I am in this world. And you are right by trusting me. But I wouldn't trust me from the other's perspective."

Xie Lian's heart warmed. He knew that the younger man was just looking after him, and admittedly, although he had a dark past, he could be a tiny bit trusting. But in his defense, he knew whom to trust, or so he thought. "But I'm not like everyone and I'm happy that I trusted you and that I'm trusting you now. So please, trust this gege."

"I trust you. It's them I don't trust. I don't trust anyone when it comes to you." Hua Cheng's eyes were hard and stubborn. "I can't bring myself to trust anyone if it's you."

Somehow, Xie Lian was overwhelmed. Hua Cheng, his presence, was overwhelming. But this, showing him how he wanted to protect him, Hua Cheng was his safety. He felt utterly safe with him and it was overwhelming. For years, even in his sleep, Xie Lian was plagued by his past, always fearing for his life. 

But with San Lang, his San Lang, he felt safe. 

It was overwhelming. But it was peaceful. 

It was both feelings at once. 

"San Lang?"

"Hm?" Hua Cheng grunted. Whatever was running inside Hua Cheng's mind, Xie Lian figured, might not be that great since he was acting grumpy. 

"Can you call the Mayor? Then, I'll sleep again."

San Lang's brows raised. "Sleep again?"

Xie Lian nodded. "I'm sleepy."

"Hmm, can you eat a little first? I'll get you food."

"Okay." He nodded. 

Hua Cheng brushed his hair. 

~

One more week passed and Xie Lian could see he was getting better. It was no longer too painful for him to move and everything else had become bearable. In the span of a week, Yin Yu visited him twice with San Lang frowning and just all over Xie Lian throughout the whole duration. 

And during those days, Xie Lian had been bathing with Hua Cheng on his side. 

There was nothing more to it than helping him bathe but it didn't stop his body from blushing and feeling hot all over. It was exhilarating but at the same time, confusing. He had never had that bodily reaction before but with San Lang, it happened so often. 

His San Lang was yet to leave his room. He hadn't left him ever since and it was like they were cooped up in their own small world, imprisoned in their bubble of happiness and safety. For most, Xie Lian felt happy. But sometimes, he couldn't help but think that he was taking so much from the younger man. 

Xie Lian decided to push Hua Cheng out, just so he could slowly return to whatever he needed to return to - be it work, relationship with friends, or self-care. 

Hua Cheng was sitting on the bed while Xie Lian was lying down. The man had been on his phone for more than an hour now. His brows were furrowed and his body tensed. It appeared that whatever matter San Lang was attending to right now was something serious. 

So before he could even push Hua Cheng out, the man had already spoken, "Gege, I had to leave later."

Well, Xie Lian didn't mean for it to be so soon. Probably, tomorrow. It was ten in the evening for fudge's sake!

"Huh? To where?"

"Finishing the work I should've finished." Hua Cheng was looking at him with so much... fondness. It was warm and fuzzy and comforting. 

Xie Lian had a huge crush on him. 

"Hmm, so late?"

Hua Cheng suddenly grinned. "Worried for this San Lang, gege? Or are you going to miss me?"

Xie Lian looked away. Both. "Hmp."

"I have to take care of you in the morning. At least now, you're set to sleep. But if you get nightmares, just call me. I'll leave an extra phone." Hua Cheng's knuckles brushed over his cheek. 

Xie Lian liked it so much!

"Hmm~" He was easily coaxed. "Just be careful?"

"Gege, they're the ones who need to be careful around me." His eyes had a dangerous glint in them. They were promising trouble and danger. 

Xie Lian should be scared. He should be from the time he knew he was Hua Cheng, a menace in the society. But he wasn't scared. This man was just his San Lang. 

"Don't worry. When you wake up tomorrow, I'll be here. I just want to see to it that the men who did this to you will get what they deserve."

Oh. 

Xie Lian blinked his eyes. 

Hua Cheng

Hua Cheng smirked. "So, sleep now. Gege doesn't have to worry. Also, I'll make sure you're safe while you're sleeping. No one is allowed on this floor and it's heavily monitored by yours truly. Gege will be safe." It was less like saying to him, but more like affirming himself. 

He didn't want to leave Xie Lian alone yet no matter how much he knew his house was safe for him. But Hua Cheng also didn't want to move forward with those men still alive, breathing, when they should be already in hell. 

Besides, He Xuan said that it'd be better to have his revenge now that those men were still conscious and could still feel the pain. If they'd go insane, it wouldn't be that much fun to hurt them. 

Xie Lian just cutely nodded and smiled softly as he closed his eyes. 

He would destroy the world just to keep this man safe. And although it might be so wishful for him to ever hope that Xie Lian wouldn't be placed in harm's way ever again, Hua Cheng would strive to keep him safe. 

Hua Cheng would be happy to keep Xie Lian safe from afar, to love him without having this love returned. But now that he could see he had a chance with him, all the more would he not let go, all the more would he not let anyone touch what was his.

There was that ugly feeling recoiling inside him. He had never wanted Xie Lian as much as he wanted him now. He didn't want Xie Lian to leave. He wanted him to stay, just be with him, and be happy with him. 

When he saw that Xie Lian's breathing evened out, Hua Cheng kissed his forehead and whispered, "I'll be back. Goodnight, gege." 

He checked his phone to see if the cameras were working alright. After confirming that all were set, Hua Cheng stood up and changed his clothes. He took off his baggy shirt and put on a black fitted shirt. He also changed his sweatpants to black dress pants. He tied his hair into a man-bun and covered his eye. 

He was good to go.

Hua Cheng checked his phone once more to make sure all his cameras were working. This would be the first time he'd leave Xie Lian alone after days of just staying with him. He was so happy during those days of just taking care of Xie Lian and just getting to know him. 

Oh well, he just fell in love even more. His gege was indeed so kind and pure. Simple things would make him smile. And Hua Cheng could feel how much Xie Lian adored him. It was shameless to admit that but he really could feel it... The way Xie Lian would look at him and smile at his dry jokes. Hua Cheng knew he didn't deserve any of these. He didn't deserve Xie Lian. 

But he was a selfish, greedy, and brazen man. He wanted Xie Lian for himself. And for as long as Xie Lian would have him, Hua Cheng would continue being selfish. And just have Xie Lian for himself alone. Mine. Just mine. 

While he was walking down the stairs, He Xuan called him. 

"I'm comin'," Hua Cheng said before his friend could even say anything. He also saw Yin Yu waiting for him downstairs. He nodded at his other friend as they walked to the car. 

"Oh great. I thought you'd forever hide inside your room."

Hua Cheng rolled his eyes. "You're annoying. Is everything ready?"

"Yep, everything's ready for the return of Hua Chengzhu." He Xuan's tone was bored but he was teasing him. 

"Shut up."

"I also have a request for you later," He Xuan said. 

"What is it this time?" Yin Yu was driving while Hua Cheng sat in the front seat. Their men would be just following them. 

"I said later."

"What an attitude for someone who has a request," he scoffed. 

He Xuan hang up the phone on him. 

Hua Cheng walked inside his building with murderous intent. He was clenching and unclenching his fists. It had been long since he was bottling the need to spill some blood for what they did to the man he cared about. 

"Do you intend on killing them tonight?" Yin Yu was walking beside him. 

"Yes. I figured out that I need to spend more of my time with gege. So, I have to end this tonight. I also don't want him to see me differently." Hua Cheng was still careful around Xie Lian when it came to his line of work. 

Xie Lian had been running away from this kind of situation and he couldn't have Xie Lian running away from him because of this. 

"Good. That's good." Perhaps, Yin Yu didn't want to see him lose himself in torturing and killing people. How noble of him. 

At the end of the hallway, there was He Xuan standing with his arms crossed. 

Hua Cheng smirked. His friends were really supportive of him. They knew how long he looked for Xie Lian. They knew what he had to go through. They knew what he went through. They had an idea of what Xie Lian went through. Fuck, I miss him. 

He Xuan lightly punched Yin Yu's shoulder as a way of greeting him and just rolled his eyes at Hua Cheng. This little shit. 

"They're inside. Everything you could possibly need is there." He Xuan pointed him to the door beside them. 

"What's your request again?"

He Xuan took a deep breath and said, "Shi QingXuan and I would like to visit Xie Lian. Dinner's on us."

Fuck. "Fuck no."

"Why?" He Xuan raised his brow. 

"I just don't like it." Well, Hua Cheng was just acting childish. 

"Are you scared that I'll charm him?" He Xuan said it with a straight face that anyone would think he wasn't kidding. Or was he?

Hua Cheng narrowed his eyes. "You-!"

Yin Yu cleared his throat. The best mediator. 

"I'll ask Xie Lian first." Knowing his gege's answer, Hua Cheng might just help the two prepare dinner. For sure, Xie Lian wouldn't say no. He knew He Xuan was a close friend. 

He Xuan nodded multiple times. "Good. That's good. I won't take much of your time." Meaning he's going to meet up with QingXuan. "Don't enjoy yourself too much, Chengzhu. You have Xie Lian waiting for you at your home."

That made Hua Cheng smile. "Of course, of course."

Hua Cheng entered the room alone. The room was cold and was reeking of disinfectant. It looked extremely clean and suffocating. The tiles and walls were white too. But not for long. It was almost too clean if not for the trash standing in front of him. 

He wore the black surgical gloves readily available for him on the side. He could be brutal but most of the time, he'd like to keep it clean. 

"You won't suffer that much." Hua Cheng looked at them and their injuries. He smiled. "You're lucky I have him intact at home or you'd be in a much sorry state."

"You fucker," Li Jun hissed. He had bruises here and there but nothing too much. Oh, Hua Cheng would enjoy torturing this man. He also told He Xuan not to cover that man's mouth just for fun.

"You thought you'd get away from this?" Hua Cheng quirked his brow. 

"I didn't know he's someone important to you!"

"Oh, really?" Hua Cheng lazily picked up a knife. He enjoyed the way those men's eyes held more fear than they had earlier. That's it. Fear me. "I thought you deliberately hurt him because you knew he's my person." He really didn't care as to what Li Jun's reason was for hurting Xie Lian because he knew whatever it was, he was involved.

"No! No, no, no. I really didn't know!" Li Jun fell to his knees to beg, as well as the other men. But all of their whines went to deaf ears. Hua Cheng was not someone to be easily persuaded with their cries and pleas. They didn't give Xie Lian mercy, so why would he?

When Xie Lian told them to stop, did they?

"I-I simply did it because-because of what he did. He-He stopped the bet with that policeman and he also took away my chance!"

Hua Cheng stepped nearer and held the man by the collar. He pressed the knife on his cheek. "He wasn't with that policeman." Unreasonable he was. He knew Xie Lian wasn't with Qianqiu but he was angered by that thought. Truly, Hua Cheng had gone mad.

"I didn't know! I didn't know! I just knew he was tipping me off to the Mayor!" 

Does he think by telling me these I'll spare him from death? "How did you know?" 

"I-I can't say!" 

That spiked up Hua Cheng's rage. 

"Tell me." He stabbed the man's thigh. Blood easily oozed out from the man's skin and into the white tiled floor. The other men tried to get away from them. Unfortunately, their ankles and wrists were tied. There wasn't much they could do. 

Li Jun cried out. "I don't know! I don't know really! I just received a message with all of that man's address and information! Fuck!"

Hua Cheng was going insane if he wasn't yet. "Who?" He sloppily stabbed his other thigh.

"Ahh! I don't know! Believe me, Chengzhu! He said I can't tell you! But still, I don't know! I don't know! Have mercy!" 

The past would never leave them and he was already catching up to them. Now, there was no way in hell would he allow Xie Lian to live away from him alone. He couldn't let him take Xie Lian away from him. 

Hua Cheng stepped into the shower. He finished off everyone in five hours but those five hours were the worst hours of their lives. He made sure of it. As the water ran down his body, the blood washed off from his skin. He tried to keep it clean but he should've figured out that he'd be more merciless. 

He washed his hair and tipped his head up.

When he came inside their room, Xie Lian was still sleeping soundly. He walked soundlessly to his drawer and took out the small velvet box from it. 

A necklace. 

Hua Cheng needed to do it and he hoped Xie Lian would understand. His good gege would probably understand if he'd let him know clearly his intentions. 

He climbed on the bed and slowly clasped the necklace around Xie Lian's neck. The chain was thin, loose, and not flashy. The ring was inconspicuous. It would seem as though it was just a remembrance from an old friend, something that just held a sentimental value. 

"Hmm~" Xie Lian hummed with eyes still close. "San Lang?"

"Yes, gege?" Hua Cheng bent to kiss Xie Lian's forehead. 

"You're here." A ghost smile appeared on his beloved's lips. His bruises were starting to get lighter. 

"Of course..." He paused. "May I sleep beside gege tonight?" 

Xie Lian sleepily moved to the side. His eyes were still closed. "Sleep beside me, San Lang. I missed sleeping beside you."

Hua Cheng hurriedly made himself comfortable beside Xie Lian. He was reeling at the fact that Xie Lian said he missed sleeping beside him. "Can this San Lang request more from gege?"

"I- sleepy-" Xie Lian mumbled. "What?"

"Can I hold you?" 

Again, Xie Lian tried to move. But this time closer to him. How adorable! How adorable! He couldn't help but smile at how cute Xie Lian was. How did he get so lucky in life? 

Hua Cheng pulled the shorter man and enveloped him in a gentle yet firm hug. "Sleep again, gege. I'll be here when you wake up." 

Xie Lian

"Good morning, my beloved," Xie Lian clearly heard as soon as he woke up with his cheek flushed on Hua Cheng's chest and with Hua Cheng lightly tracing his arm up and down. "How's your sleep, gege?" 

Did he just call me his beloved?!

~

Haha, I promise, there'll be a confession in the next chapter. It wouldn't be grand tho!