CHAPTER NINETEEN
↳ are you being sirius?

( CW // periods )

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A few days had passed since Harry had begun his 'Patronus Training' as Elara had called it. Needless to say, he had made little progress since then which sounded like harsh criticism simply because it was. It was a warm Saturday morning and Elara had managed to compile a variety of food items (most notably Peanut butter and jam sandwiches) in a bag and put a simple preserving charm so that they wouldn't decompose quickly. This way then Sirius could have some food and not starve to death. It had also come to Elara's attention that Scabbers- well Pettigrew now that she knew his real identity - was now gone and Ron found blood along with some ginger cat hair which marked as evidence to convict Crookshanks as a murderer. Elara had several doubts that the rat was dead though, considering the fact that the man had frequencies of faking his death.

It was an admirable feat, Elara had to admit. She wondered if she too would be able to pull off the death facade well.

She could only hope that he'd reappear soon however. It was a very reluctant pray, though she hated to admit that she needed Pettigrew well and alive. He was her dad's only chance of actually having an argument about whether he murdered those muggles and helped you-know-who. Luckily, Crookshanks was trying his best but he was avoiding the golden trio due to Ron's violent tendencies against him. If Ron even tried laying a hand on Laurie, he wouldn't have any hands. Elara knew he was very aware about the threats she could hold against him.

In mention of the white cat, it seemed as though his visits to Sirius were ending quite quickly following Elara finding out the truth. Instead, he was often cuddled up besides her, purring contently into her fuzzy jumper.

Waking up was still a struggle, Elara laid in her bed for a good two hours contemplating the existence of humanity instead of actually being productive. Not that no one cared, it was a Saturday, Saturdays were made to be lazy. The girls she said her room with were up hours ago, doing whatever they do in their spare time. Elara hoped they were okay, despite how little their interactions were, they did make her smile.

Groaning as she got up, Elara pulled herself off the sheets of her bed, opening the mustard canopy of her bed and pressing her bare feet on the cold wooden floor, shivering at the feeling that she definitely should've gotten used to nowadays yet couldn't. She rubbed her eyes softly and then rubbed her nose, yawning. It was only 10am, yet it felt like she was waking up at 4am.

For a few hours, Elara lazed around in the common room. She didn't have any need to actually go out for anything so she spent her time reading and completing any homework she had been set. It wasn't that hard, she only found difficulty in potions but she could always ask Hermione for some help.

The Hufflepuff common room was coated in a warm hue of yellow, the rays of sun bouncing off the walls, filling the room with the warmth it needed. Some younger Hufflepuffs were spending time tending to the plants that were sanctuary in the dorms.

Looking out the window, Elara's eyes lit up. Today was a considerately warm day, the sun beaming brightly and the wind blowing softly. So, to accommodate the weather, Elara wore some jeans that were rolled up so her ankles were showing and one of her papa's old sweaters that was slightly faded in the yellow colouring it once had.

It was nearly 6pm and soon she'd be leaving to see her dad again. She had a variety of food ready for him so he could survive. It felt odd having him back, but she was great fil nevertheless. As Elara was about to walk out, she saw Wisteria poke her head out. "L-lara?" Wisteria had stuttered out, looking at Elara shyly. Elara hummed out. "W-where a-are you g-going?" Elara smiled at Wisteria. Tommy was also sitting by Wisteria, his head laying on her legs while he admired some of his cards he got from a box of chocolate frogs.

"I'm going down to the Black Lake, just to relax," She lied easily. Wisteria had a massive fear of water, she nearly cried when they were floating to the castle on her first day. Elara knew she wouldn't ask to come. "I'll be back in a bit, don't you worry," It was ten to six, she was expected to be there to greet her dog of a father with food in exactly ten minutes.

"Bye El!" Tommy waved her off, Wisteria silently waving her away as well.

Waving them off, Elara began skipping off to the banks by the Black Lake. Laurie knew exactly where to find her dad, so she let him go ages ago to go fetch him. She soon saw Crookshanks, who nuzzles his ginger head on Elara's exposed ankle. "Hello," She said, in a childlike voice stroking his head. "Are you coming to see Snuffles?" She knew saying his name out loud would be incredibly suspicious, so referring to him by a name only she knew could keep his identity hidden. "Come on," she knew if she was in the presence of others, they'd most likely think she was insane. Thinking about it, insanity from speaking to others that could never speak back wasn't the most insanest thing Elara has done. The more she thought about it, the more concerned she felt for herself.

Soon enough, she saw the large black dog wagging his tail excitedly at her. "Snuffles!" The dog barked out, rushing up to her and jumping on her. "Come on let's go somewhere quiet," she nudged the dog off her, standing up and dusting her jeans off. The dog whined slightly, huffing out. "Don't act like that," she scolded lightly, although she was laughing. She and the dog, along with the two cats, began walking towards the Whomping Willow, the once violent tree paralysing with the press of a paw.

Soon enough, she opened the door of the old wooden shack and entered the room, turning around to the once dog and now man, her dad. She ran up and gave him a tight hug, Sirius pressing a kiss on her head. "It's wonderful to see you!" She exclaimed, the former prisoner of Azkaban laughing out with joy as she reached into her bag. Elara noticed how his face had many cuts on them. What on earth had he been doing? "I brought a whole bunch of food- like a shit tonne, you should seriously be grateful to have me in your life." she passed out a ham sandwich that was wrapped in foil and labelled 'HAM'. "It feels like a primary school trip all over again," Gratefully, Sirius unwrapped the sandwich and took a huge bite out of it, scoffing it down rather quickly

"Thanks poppet," he sighed out, content with the nice sandwich she had got him. "Not as great as Moony's sandwiches but it will do," when he tried smiling even more, he winced due to the pain in his cheeks. Elara noticed this and looked at him with worry deep in her eyes. Sirius pretended as though he was fine and Elara was about to smack him.

"Dad that was literally papa's sandwich he made me earlier," Sirius eyes widened for a moment, the thought of insulting Remus' food skills a thought he couldn't bare of thinking. "I'm joking," he breathed out in relief.

"So, poppet," Elara furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, finding the missing word almost shocking. Sirius took note into the shocked expression on her face, frowning at her. "What?"

"You aren't calling me little poppet," she pointed out, frowning slightly. Sirius ruffled her hair, giving her a soft smile. Although, his eyes were filled with tears as she continued speaking. "Although I'm not exactly little anymore so I guess that's why," She averted her gaze away, sadly. Sirius glanced at her solemnly. She was no longer the little baby he last saw twelve years ago, she was now a teenager with the most gorgeous eyes and a smile like no other. She no longer needed him to hold her when she was scared, she was a free, independent girl with thoughts like no other. It failed to occur to him that Elara would always need a hug no matter the circumstance. It would always remain depressing knowing he missed a large chunk of her life.He felt like a failure of a father for missing pieces of her life she'd never repeat again.

"I'm sorry," Sirius mumbled out, his words slightly muffled as he covered his mouth. Elara glancing up at him, incapable of uttering any words. Why was he sorry? "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

Elara smiled softly at him. She placed a soft hand on top of his dry ones. "It's not your fault," Suddenly she took her hand off his and he frowned. "Bloody hell your hands are dry," she commented. Sirius laughed out, wheezing slightly and wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes. "Remind me to bring you some hand lotion soon," she mentally made a note to herself.

"Merlin, you sound so much like Moony," Sirius noticed she was wearing his old sweater as well. "Guessing he gave you it?

She stretched the sleeve of her papa's old jumper. "I took it from the attic," Elara answered simply, smiling as she fumbled with the sleeves. "According to papa, I remind him of you though," Elara reached into her bag and pulled out a box of biscuits Gaia bought her from a local shop where she lived. "Biscuit?" The biscuit in question was a custard cream, a brilliant biscuit the world had to offer. Although, she found chocolate bourbons would always be good (not as good as custard creams though ). Weirdly she had been having some craving for custard creams over the few days and she only assumed it was nearing shark week. The more she thought about it, she realised her stomach cramps were probably her body saying 'bitch we are going to say adios to all your emotions this week and make you the emotional train wreck that killed Lucy, Edmund, Peter, Eustace and a whole bunch of people who went to Narnia. She wished she could sue C.S Lewis for emotional trauma. But he was dead so, unless she learnt necromancy, then she'd never get a court case. Sirius took one custard cream, taking a bite and then grabbing another six. Whilst he was enjoying his biscuit, Elara notices some blood on his face. "Bloody hell, dad, what the hell have you been doing?"

"Just your typical adventure into the bramble bush when you think you see a rat," Sirius grumbled out. Elara grabbed his chin, forcing him to face her. "Ow!"

She winced slightly, noticing the gashes on his face. They must've stung. "Here," she pulled out her wand, which was sticking out her boot. "Episkey," she muttered as the glow cascaded from the tip of her wand. Sirius felt his face heat up and then go cold. "Sorry if it doesn't work- I've been learning just some basics," Elara shyly said.

"Thanks poppet," Sirius smiled, trusting most the marks on his face weren't there anymore due to the numbness he felt where his face had once hurt. He paused for a moment. "How do you know them? You're like in your..." he paused, using his hands to count. He finally perked up with an answer, "Third year? Healing charms are taught at like NEWT level charms."

"I mean I found some old books in the attic and learnt from them because of papa's furry issue." she laughed out. "I just take the books with me at school so I can practice. Sadly I can't do actual spells outside school because 'stupid kids are unable to use magic because blah blah blah'," Elara huffed out. "Honestly they act like every kid will do the killing curse by the age of nine if they let us use our magic outside school, which we wouldn't and couldn't because the killing curse requires a lot of energy and nine year olds simply cannot bare that energy." Elara rambled a bit, something Sirius noticed she must have gotten from him despite his absence.

Elara's attention was now on her dad, who seemed rather content with the food. Sirius bit into his sixth biscuit. "I forgot how bloody great food was," he commented, moaning with delight at the taste of the sweet. "Honestly, poppet, these are more than enough," he pointed to the bag filled with food. An array of sandwiches, sweets, cakes, and some fruit as well. Well more than enough to last him a month.

Politely, Elara placed the bag next to him, smiling. "Dad I don't personally need this food and I charmed it so it doesn't expire. You need it more than me," she picked up a red apple, taking a large bite out of it. She munched on it for a few seconds and then swallowed. She turned towards him, surprised when he suddenly hugged her. She squeaked out in shock.

"Honestly poppet you are brilliant," he commented, pride shining in his eyes. Elara laughed out, blushing at the compliment that was thrown her way. "Honestly I'm still so-" Elara covered his mouth with her hand. He tried speaking, although his speech was muffled. He licked her hand, Elara reclining her hand in disgust.

"Did you really lick me?" She asked, tilting her head with wide eyes. "Disgusting," she wiped her hand on his clothes, squinting her eyes at him. "I don't understand men,"

"And I didn't understand women," Sirius commented. Elara covered her mouth with her right hand, choking back laughter. Soon enough Sirius joined her, his laughter echoing in the shack. Elara was surprised no one had come to see what all the noise was about. "Poppet have you got yourself a boyfriend yet?" He asked. Elara looked at him confused. She breathed in, then out, peering at him with a hint of confusion yet curiosity.

"No?"

Sirius tilted his head and then smiled. "Good, you aren't having a boyfriend until you're fifty," Sirius looked dead serious, whereas Elara was giving him a blank look. Should I tell him- you know what just so I can pull the iconic 'you never said no girlfriends' moment, I won't tell him, she thought to herself. Undoubtedly, he'd look idiotic when he realised she wasn't straight, "Comprende friende?"

"Conprende padre," Elara smirked slightly, Sirius not realising at all. "Okay, since I am helping a criminal," she tapped her foot on the floor, the small thumping echoing in the room. Sirius muttered a 'fashionable but falsely convicted man' under his breathe. "We need to set some rules," she crossed her arms over her chest. "Firstly, do not attempt to murderer the bitch we only refer to as traitor," Sirius whined out which was immediately quieted when Elara glared his way, snapping her fingers to gain his attention once more. "Second, don't do anything suspicious," Sirius wasn't paying too much attention so she hit him over the hit. He yelped out. 'Nothing. Suspicious. No breaking into the castle, no trying to steal stuff, nada, nothing,"

"What about-"

"Ah ah, zip it,"

"I didn't even say anything," Sirius whined, stomping his feet around like an impatient child. Elara sighed. "Not even trying to find the rat inside the castle so I can murde-" He coughed to correct himself "- take it to Dumbledore?" Elara shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Poppet, you are no fun,"

"You find fun in making yourself look guilty? Be my guest then," she said sarcastically. She stood up, the man also following and getting off the wooden floor of the shack. "I better get going," she rubbed her hands on her jeans. Sirius gave her one last hug. "Dad, please don't do anything stupid,"

"I solemnly swear that whatever I do is smart," little did he know, that what he thought was 'smart' was 'stupid' in Elara's mind.

"You better be serious,"

"Oh but I am Sirius,"

"Dead serious,"

"I hope I'm not dead," Elara smacked him over the head. "Ow! You've got to admit that was quite funny,"

"Pff sure," just before she left the room, she turned back to look at him. "I'm not even going to tell you not to go to the Ravenclaw vs Gryffindor game next week because I know you won't listen regardless," she threw him back a look. "Just... just don't get caught?"

"Mhm sure," Sirius nodded. Elara deadpanned at him. "Okay, okay, I promise I would get caught," he put his hands up in defence. Little did Elara know, he was going to do something extremely stupid soon enough.

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It was the early mornings of Sunday and Elara was unable to fall asleep. Cedric, the nocturnal mammal that he is, was already wide away when Elara had come stumbling down the stairs, dressed in an oversized dressing gown, a nightdress and some fluffy warm slippers. Immediately when Cedric saw the small girl, he grabbed the spare hot chcolate mug and walked to her, passing her the mug. Now the two were both sitting on the common room chairs, discussing random nonsense.

Somehow Elara found it convient to bring up her convict for a dad and somehow she thought to tell him.

"Cedric how would you feel if I told you I've been meeting up with a notorious murderer?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Cedric paused for a moment, his eyes going wide when he noticed how serious she seemed, "Elara, you aren't being serious are you?"

Elara pursed her lips, suppressing a grin. "I mean his name is Sirius--"

"Elara," Cedric sighed out. "You aren't actually meeting up with that guy - the man convicted for helping you know 'Mr no nosey',"

Elara rubbed her eyes, rolling her eyes. "Cedric, he didn't do it," she argued out. "He was framed- by a rat, an actual rat!" Cedric furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"Why are you randomly telling me this?" Cedric queried. Elara had no clue why she was telling him. She shrugged. "So you are telling me the information that you know where a wanted man is and you aren't considering the fact I might tell someone?"

"Because I know you believe there's a possibility he's innocent," Elara shrugged, thinking for a moment. "That's a lie, I don't know why I told you but I know you trust me so you won't snitch. Remember our pact 'never snitch because snitches will always end up in ditches and will be buried by Gaia Evangelina Everlong',"

"Okay true," he nodded. "Gaia is more scary than any of us combined and considering how I'm dating Morgan Lewis Holin that means something," Cedric paused. "Also I do believe he's innocent because of all the evidence you've told me before you went and started going on little outings with him," Elara ignored that. Sure, she maybe should not have told him, but the guilt of hiding stuff from her friends really wasn't the best.

"True that," Elara snorted. "Morgan on his man period scares me,"

"You on your actual period scares me," Ironically, Elara was on her period right now. You see, Elara had been having some stomach cramps earlier the day, she just went to Poppy and got a potion and thus felt better. The kind-hearted nurse also gave her some extras because she had a feeling it was Elara's period. Luckily, the woman's instincts were correct and Elara had, in fact, started shark week. How great. Elara pursed her lips, Cedric looking at her and then his face going white. "You're on your period aren't you?" He questioned quietly.

"I think so? Well there's blood coming out of me right now because I'm still a virgin and haven't gotten myself knocked up and- hang on even if I was losing my virginity, I wouldn't get pregnant because I'm gay."

"Are you in need of pads or tampons? I can ask Lois for you," he asked thoughtfully. Elara smiled, wincing when she felt a small cramp come on it's way. Fuck, she sighed out.

"I have some don't worry," Elara laughed out, shaking her head at the older boy. "It's going Niagara Falls with like a lot of blood right now and yet you're more concerned for me than I am for myself right now," she pointed out.

"Well I do deal with my mum and she isn't exactly the world's peacefullest woman, she taught me to not be disgusted? I don't know she just told ten year old Cedric that a person with the biological female reproductive system bleeds once a month and it's okay to ask and help," he shrugged.

Periods had become less taboo in Wizarding society, although men still felt like they could ignore the fact people do suffer with them. Nevertheless, Mrs Diggory was amazing at parenting and Elara would always admire her for that. Luckily, her papa was very well informed about periods because of her 'auntie Marls and Dorks' made sure to emphasis that they were suffering. She never met them because both weren't alive, although he photos he hung of his friends told her that the blonde haired woman who was kissing the dark haired woman on the cheek meant a lot to her family. She wished she got to meet them. Poor little Elara didn't exactly have a lot of women growing up so she lacked knowledge on issues people like her experienced. So, imagine the absolute terror when she started her period.

"Dad!!" She had called, screaming out in terror. The young girl had been feeling very sick so she went to the bathroom, only to see her white leggings were covered in red blood. She had no clue why she was bleeding and assumed something bad was happening. Remus had always told her to scream when she was in danger so naturally she did.

Remus, the naturally alert parent, ran upstairs in worry at the terror intwined in her voice. She sounded petrified. Knocking on the bathroom door, he called out, "Are you decent?" He didn't want to walk in on his daughter which wouldn't be very respectful. Elara's small voice sniffled out a 'yes' and he opened the door. Unfortunately for Elara, she had been wearing white and as the average person knows, red and white contrast greatly.

Sitting on the toilet seat, Elara was crying hysterically. Remus could see the red staining the seat. "I'm dying," she cried out, tears falling down her cheeks. Remus tried consoling her as best as he could, although he wasn't the best for the job. He shook his head at the blood on her leggings. That would be a hard stain to get out. Mentally he made a note to find her some new leggings.

Remus fumbled with the hem of his sweater awkwardly. "Erm, moons you aren't dying,"

"I'm not?" Elara asked, a pinch of surprise delicately laced in her voice. She paused for a moment, wincing at the sudden sensation in her stomach. She looked at him, dead serious and said: "Then tell me why it feels like I am?"

Poor Remus had to go all the way down to the local pharmacy to buy some pads, chocolates and some ice cream just so she'd feel better and the explain why this happened ( which made Elara shriek in disgust about cooties ). Altogether, it was the funniest moment to Remus and whenever Elara was on her period, he'd ask her if she's dying just to take the piss out of her first reaction.

"Ced, your mum is iconic," Elara said. Cedric still looked a bit nervous and was asking her if she still needed anything. She of course declined humbly. "Anyhow, please don't tell anyone about my dad?" Elara asked.

"El I trust you more than I trust myself," Cedric said, laughing. "I think I know that if you're dead set on something then you won't stop so me threatening to tell a teacher won't do much," Elara smiled at him.

"Honestly what would I do if you died?" Elara joked.

Cedric laughed, his eyes widening as a grin plastered on his face. he played along. Although, he knew Elara would threaten his ghost to come back. She was Elara Lily Lupin, it's in her nature to be ridiculous at times and to be carefree. That " Probably start sobbing and saying how you'll bring me back from the dead so you can kill me yourself,"

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Hermione had been in a foul mood ever since Ron had stopped speaking to her. She would've gone to see Elara but she had a small feeling that the Hufflepuff was busy. So instead, she stayed sitting in the library, a book wide open and her eyes following the lines like they were the only things that mattered.
Hermione thought about a lot. From how the pages of the book were ripped slightly to how soft Elara's hair-

Why was she thinking about that?

She paused for a moment, placing the book down. Why was she always thinking about Elara Lupin? She always thought about how sweet her voice was, even better than a spoonful of honey, how her hair smelt of coconut, how her soft skin was caress Hermione's and made her shiver. Elara Lupin was just... everything. There was an odd infatuation that Hermione had for Elara. Was it because of how kind the girl was? Yes! Yes that must be it! She was just so in love with her kindness. But- but platonic love of course!

Hermione knew it wasn't at all platonic love. The way Elara looked at her made her stomach erupt in butterflies. The softness of Elara's skin would make her stomach go queasy and made her forget everything. Hermione Jean Granger was so oddly in love with her, it just seemed bizarre.

Elara had offered kindness. Hermione cursed herself. Why did Elara's kindness have to be so attractive? Hermione still had not picked up her book. She still sat in the library, hand covering her mouth and her eyes beady and wide with realisation.

Am I- I- in love with Elara?

Hermione questioned how she defined love. Did she really define it by the warmth she felt whenever Elara stared into her eyes and etched her face into her memory like a painter to a canvas? Was that really love? For a moment, Hermione paused. All I know about love is taken from stories, this is real life, I won't just feel something and land on love. That's preposterous.
However, just thinking about Elara made Hermione feel better, it made her feel warm inside and it made her blush slightly. The way she'd smile made her warm and her cheeks fluster with a tint of crimson red.

Then, Hermione frowned.

Elara wouldn't like no girl like me. She thought, pessimistically. She wished Elara would, but she was too scared. She was just... so afraid of rejection and failure. She'd rather stay in the dark for all her life rather than face the possibility of rejection.

So, Hermione decided to bury her unrequited feelings deep into the ground. She could only hope that one day Elara Lily Lupin would look at her in the same way Hermione gazed at her.
She decided to pick up her book and read once more, shrouding her feelings away and occupying her mind with something else.

She just hoped Elara would one day love her backs

If that day never came, Hermione knew she'd never feel the same way about love ever again.

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Please note that anything triggering will always be disclaimed at the start of a chapter !! I will always put trigger warnings for anything traumatic and if the chapter has blood etc there will be a disclaimer just so you are aware ! Anyways, let's go to the story !

OKAY SO LIKE IM POSTING THIS ON MY BDAY ( FEB 5TH ) SO LIKE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME-

also like today is my birthday and my parents got me a record player and some vintage records from the 80s and like my dad's gonna try and find me his old Queen and Fleetwood Mac records because he knows I vibe to both of them- I low-key might buy myself some ABBA albums along with Aurora and also Billie Eilish because they're my faves atm.
Finally I'm turning fifteen so like this is my present to you all!! Thank you so so much for 4K already! That is absolutely brilliant! I hope this chapter is good enough as a reward and you all enjoyed. Elara and Cedric comfort me a lot so like 🤧

ALSO POOR HERMIONE- she knows she likes Elara, but buried her feelings away because she's scared- that'll pay a huge part in GOF and I'm so excited to write some scenes for that because it's gonna be something else.

update from the future (Sept 11th), hello, how are you all?

im great

vibing