CHAPTER TEN
↳ cedric, hogsmede and snuffles?

To say Cedric Diggory was the mum friend would be an understatement. In fact, he was the personal therapist turned mum who'd stay up with you until 4am yet scold you for not drinking enough water.

Elara laid across the seats that were in the Hufflepuff common room. It was 5am, she wore her yellow night gown and her long dressing gown that she had for Christmas the year prior. Cedric wore his pjs, his favourite quidditch team's logo on them and dark slippers on his feet. Elara seemed emotionally worn out, yet hyper at the same time. Was that possible? It was now. "Now why is it you fear exactly?"

"Oh sod off," Elara mumbled, sitting up to take a sip of water that remained on the table. Cedric put his hands up in surrender. She really didn't want to admit it. Not to herself.

"Feisty," he mumbled, grabbing an energy drink and taking a massive gulp of it. "So anyways, you excited for Hogsmede?"

Elara shrugged her shoulders. "I mean yeah, surprised dad allowed me because of other father," Cedric gave her a strange look. "What? He's a murderer or at least convicted as one,"

"I know, but from what you've told me before he did that," Cedric drawled on. He didn't want to test an opinion that so many held.

"Spit it out then,"

"It's just both your dads were in love..." Cedric thought for a moment. "It's odd that he'd betray you all for you-know-who," Cedric laughed slightly. Elara took a sip of her water. "Maybe you-know-who was his sugar daddy?" That water now was spat out.

"Cedric Amos Diggory," Elara shook her head, a small smile on her face. She sat up, her legs now crossed on the chair. "If he's ever found to be innocent, you'll be the first to tell me you were correct,"

"So anyways, how's you and Hermione?" Cedric moved his eyebrow up and down and gave Elara a strange look. Her eyebrows furrowed and she tilted her head to the left.

"What?" Her entire face was scrunched up in a confused look.

"Never mind,"

"Oh!" Elara breathed out. "Did I tell you about Snuffles?" Cedric gave her a look, which told her she hadn't yet. "Well, you see, I was in the forest that's behind my house and I saw a gorgeous stray!" Elara beamed at him. "They had misty grey eyes and a beautiful black fur coat," Elara gave a frown. "I named them snuffles, I just hope he's okay, they looked neglected and painfully skinny,"

Nowadays, Elara's mind always ventured back to the loveable stray she fed just before the end of summer. She wondered whether they were well and properly feed. It bothered her greatly that they were possibly starving whilst she has a full tummy with warm dishes and warmth. Snuffles was quite lovable and how she wished she just took him home with her.

Before Elara could continue drawling on about Snuffles, Lois and Daphne both stumbled in to the common room, hair unkempt (Lois' looked as though it was a meter wide) and eyes rubbed by their hands as they yawned. "Morning..." Daphne said in a big yawn. She wore her long sleeved night grown that was a mint green shade, her white slippers that were worn out on her small feet and her white dressing grown hanging off her figure. Similarly, Lois also wore a dressing down that was as white as snow, but she wore a pyjama top and bottoms that were about the muggle film "Cinderella" (a classic if you asked her).

"Morning Lo, Ne," Elara waved at the two. The two sat down by Cedric and Elara. "You both excited for Hogsmede?" Elara tilted her head at the two, each girl yawning out before muttering a yeah. Elara got up and brushed her hands against her legs. "I'm going to have a shower, I'll be about ten minutes," she informed and went to her dorm to grab some clothes.

Quietly, she opened the door, not wanting to disturb any of the other girls who were fast asleep. She grabbed some black tights, a dungaree dress and a yellow jumper and wandered to the bathroom where she placed them down on a rack. Pulling her toiletries out, she turned the shower on, took her clothes off and got into the shower. No one else was showing this early, it being only half five in the morning. She quickly washed her hair which coconut scented shampoo and conditioner, taking extra time to add more coconut scented moisturiser into her curly locks so I didn't go bad and lathered her body in a mango scented body wash.

As soon as she was done, she turned the shower off and stepped out, wrapping a towel over her body and wandering to the mirror to brush her teeth. She brushed her teeth for a good 2 minutes, swirled some mouthwash in her mouths and spat it out, padded her face down with a soaking wet hand towel and got changed. She pulled her jumper on and fastened the clasps on her dungarees, putting on her ebony black boots. Pulling her hair into a tight bun, Elara entered into her dorm and grabbed a few galleons (5 precisely), 16 sickles and 34 Knuts, which her papa had generously given her. It wasn't much in comparison to what some other kids were bringing, but it was a lot to her.

Cedric often gave her a few extra sickles whenever he had the opportunity, but Elara always felt guilty. So instead, he started bringing her some chocolate frogs from Honeydukes at any given chance when he was in his third year. Now Elara had the opportunity to repay him by getting him some sugar quills, but she knew he'd feel guilty so she'd have to get Morgan to shove them down his throat.

She finally walked into the common room, greeted by Cedric, Lois, Morgan (who Elara assumed was let in by Cedric), Gaia (probably also came in with Morgan), Daphne and also little Wisteria who seemed to be in a foul mood about how she wasn't ablego to Hogsmede.

"L-Lars!!" Wisteria ran up, pulling her into a tight hug. "Please s-sneak me to H-Hogsmede! I-I'll be good I p-promise!"

Cedric walked over to them, pulled her into a hug and shook his head. "I already promised I'd get her some sugar quills, El don't promote any illicit activity into going to Hogsmede,"

"Sorry Wis," Elara ruffled her hair, the little girl pouting slightly. Elara placed out her pinkie. "I pinkie swear on my life that I will bring you some sweets from Honeydukes, Hufflepuff's honour," the two conjoined their pinkies.

"A-Are you sure? I h-have to deal with P-Professor Snape and h-he ain't the n-nicest bloke on the b-block," Wisteria's hands were on her waist, clearly she hated how the potion's teacher was so utterly revolting. "All he d-does is bully T-Thomas like it's a r-religion and I don't see a-any religious t-testaments entitled "B-Bully-Thomas-Farkleism""

Elara gave her a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry too much, okay? He's a right sod but if you wanna be the bigger person, you have to ignore his foulness and just breathe," the brunette nodded and gave Elara one more tight hug.

"Why aren't y-you going w-with 'Mione to H-Hogsmede? Y-You're her friend aren't y-you?" Wisteria questioned, her eyes wide and polished with wonder.

"Well, I promised Cedric two years ago that my first Hogsmede would be spent with him, Gaia, Lois and Morgan at Hogsmede," taking a small strand, Elara brushed it behind Wisteria's ear. "I never intend on breaking a promise,"

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Hogsmede was truly brilliant. From Honeydukes to the Shrieking Shack (which Elara knew wasn't haunted but liked to keep the story lit), the entire Wizarding village was amazing. She, Cedric, Morgan (who had given Cedric a peck on the cheeks when he gave him a small daisy), Lois, Gaia and Daphne all walked, arm in arm, down the busy streets of Hogsmede.

"Ronald's rat seems to have his rat being victimised by me and 'Mione's cats," Elara laughed out. "Told him he should keep Scabbers in his room for a bit because Crookshanks and Laurie seem to always find him in the hallways,"

"Why would he be in the hallways?" Daphne questioned with a frown on her lips. "Ron should really keep him in his pocket or something, of course a cat would go after him! It's in their nature!"

"You tell Ronald that," Elara rubbed her fingers together for no apparent reason other than because it felt nice. "I don't know maybe he smells left over cheese somewhere," Elara shrugged.

Right when the group neared where the forbidden Forest began, Elara saw something at the corner of her eyes. It was black and looked oddly like a black dog's tail. "What the-" she mumbled. Was that Snuffles? What the bloody hell was he doing here? Elara shook her head. There were bound to be strays who were like Snuffles. It had to be that. There was just no way he managed to catch a bus to Scotland all the way from Oxfordshire (Which was where the Lupins lived all the way in England). To be honest, the image that popped into Elara's head where Snuffles would be on a bus reading a magazine was rather humorous but it would be almost impossible. Elara brushed the thought of seeing Snuffles under the rug. She must just be delusional.

If there was one thing she was glad for, it was that dementors couldn't sense animals. Sure, animals could most likely feel the cold (e.g how Laurie reacted when seeing the being) but at least they wouldn't be hunted by them. In a way, she was happy Snuffles wasn't in any immediate danger by being in Hogsmede, which was preoccupied by those ghastly beings.

Snuffles was just a normal dog. Elara shook her head. How would he be in any danger?

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Elara and her entire group went to the dormitories early from Hogsmede and immediately greeted by a cheerful Wisteria and a small, timid looking boy who wore a blue tie which meant he was a Ravenclaw. "Hi Elara!" The brunette pulled her into a tight hug. "This is Tommy!" Tommy, which Elara assumed was Thomas Farkle, seemed quite shy, smiling slightly at her. "T-Tommy, this i-is Lars!"

"Hello," the boy mumbled politely. Elara got a closer look at the boy who had pale skin, green eyes and brown, curly hair. He offered a toothy smile, showing off his gapped teeth that had blue banded braces on them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Tommy," Wisteria punched her shoulder. "What?"

"O-Only I g-get to call him T-Tommy! He c-can b-be Tom t-to you!"

Thomas rolled his eyes ever so slightly shaking his head. "Well it's nice to meet you Tom, I'm Elara Lupin!" Thomas' eyes went wide.

"Are you related to Professor Lupin?" Elara nodded his head. "He's awesome! He didn't force me to speak in class like other teachers and offered some of us chocolate,"

Elara squinted. "My dad sharing chocolate? Preposterous!" The two first years laughed out loud, their hands covering their mouths. "Wis, I got the sugar quills we bargained!" Elara reached into her bag and pulled out two Sugar Quills. Wisteria grinned up and took the two out of her hands. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to get you any," Elara said, apologetically reaching into her left pocket where a single Chocolate Frog (which was possibly one of the best items of chocolate to ever produced in society) and handed it to Thomas, who looked slightly guilty. "Go on, I've got Ced if I want a new box, the best bit's the chocolate, but the cards pretty neat too," pulling the bobble from her hair, she let her voluminous hair fall down and brushed a few strands behind her ears. "I'll be in my room for a bit,"

When Elara entered her bedroom, she knew it was empty, seeing as the majority of her dorm mates were still in Hogsmede. She heard someone knock on the door. "Come in," The door opened, revealing Lois who was now wearing some faint green eyeshadow and some bright red lipstick. She always found Lois with this typical look. "So when's the autumn look returning Lo?"

"Next week," the room was sunlight and earthy colours filled the room with warmth. Lois wandered to Elara's bed, sitting down on it. She saw a book on her bed, the spine was worn out from the amount of times it had been used. "You've read that book dozens of times,"

"Thirty seven times to be precise,"

"I didn't need precision," Lois was now laying on her stomach, arms prompting herself up so she wasn't flat. "Tell me the juicy tea then,"

"Well for starters my other dad broke out from Azkaban, is after my best friend and probably wants him dead, then my crush is probably straight and homophobic-"

"Woah woah woah, hold it right now," Lois placed her hand in front of her face. "Hermione Granger, homophobic? She's not straight,"

"She grew up with muggles and a lot of muggles aren't very supportive!" Elara tried to reason. She placed a pillow over her face. "Maybe if I suffocate myself then my struggles will magic away,"

"They will because you'll die,"

"Even better,"

Lois shook her head. "Elara believe me," she took a deep shaky breathe. "If Hermione loves you, platonically or romantically, she wouldn't care if you're gay, bi, pan, or however you identify,"

"I'm still figuring that out," Elara laughed. "I really just don't know. Maybe I'm just faking it because I want attention,"

"No you aren't," Lois gave her a look. "El, believe me, you have had a crush on her for years, that's love. Please, you aren't faking it, you just feel more comfortable with yourself to be able to say that you aren't complying to the heterosexual normalisation in society," Lois looked at her with warm eyes. "Well either way, she'll love you ," Lois gave a smile, placing the book back onto the bed. "Because who wouldn't love you. The dork who folds their socks and gets angry because someone ate their chocolates yet is willing to dance to ABBA if it's offered,"

And those two just stayed in that warmly lit room. Those words of advice came to Elara personally. Her biggest fear wasn't tight spaces, or being locked away. Her biggest fear was her sexuality . She was so scared of the risks it brought. The abuse, the intolerance. It all was scary. The fact she didn't know herself enough to even give herself a label was what left her fragile and broken. Yes sure, she was out to a few people and was confident in her crush on Hermione Granger, but that didn't mean she didn't loathe certain aspects of herself. She was so fucking scared and all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and disappear.

Elara was trying so hard to grasp the invisible strings of heterosexuality, but she found herself losing grasp on those strings and she was scared for when she'd have to cut those strings herself. Because those strings wouldn't break on their own, she'd have to cut them herself.

And how did Elara know that this closet was about her internalised fear for her sexuality?

Because If you looked closely, you would've seen the rainbow flag that was embroidered on the closet.

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okay so like I'm gonna assume people though Elara was all happy about her being LGBTQ+ but like we always go down that hole where we don't like ourselves but we develop from that, well at least I did. Even though I'm out as lesbian to the majority of people, I still has moments of where I'm like "I'm faking it" or "I'm disgusting," and I hate those moments but it's natural. We are induced into a heteronormative society and when we come to terms that we aren't straight, we feel isolated and alone because we don't have people to look up to and are ridiculed by slurs and stereotypes. If Elara had grown up with both Sirius and Remus in her life, I imagine she wouldn't be like this. But she grew up with one dad and society that tried fo shape her as a heterosexual citizen and condensed her to believe that straight is normal.

If anything, I wanna use Elara to represent the emotions we all feel when coming to terms with ourselves. That's a severe lack with LGBTQ rep, every character being like "I love myself" when we all know that it isn't as simple.

Anyways, I've been listening to drivers license and oh my god pls I'm in tears 🤧