[Amara's POV]

          "So where are we going? Or is this the alternative way to reach your house?" I asked as I realized that this wasn't the usual way to his apartment.

Justin turned his head to me and side grinned.

"No we aren't going there now." Justin spoke, leaving me confused.

"Where are we going then? Justin where are you taking me?" What the hell was wrong with me. Justin would never do anything to me, right?

      "Relax cakes, I'm taking you out to lunch. I figured you might be hungry since well it was so close to being lunch break at school. Is that okay, can I take you there?" He simply clarified before looking back at the road.

       I tried to hide the smile that wanted to break out. At the same time I felt guilty for coning across like I didn't trust him.

    He is the boy that saved my life, without him I would probably be dead.

      The truth was that I just wanted to forget all about Ben. My uncle caused so much trauma in life, now I can' trust people easily. Take Bianca for example, I can't trust her because I've trusted Ben with my entire life way too easily...and look how that turned out. I just wanted to breath and keep telling myself that I'm safe with Justin. Keep telling myself that Ben can't reach me anymore. Keep telling myself that I'm a survivor and a strong girl behind the tears. I just need to breath and give myself some time.

"I'm sorry. It's just difficult sometimes. I constantly feel like I'm still living under abuse and I'm on edge every single time. I'm so sorry Justin."

        My voice immediately caught his attention up until I finished talking. "Don't apologize cakes. I'm here for you, right by your side, remember when I said that? I know you went through a shitload of traumatizing events in your life that I can't even describe in words so I understand that it might be hard for you to adjust. But I'm here to look after you cakes, you mean that much to me. I don't want you feeling uncertain anymore because I'm in your world now. I'll protect you from now on for the rest of my life if I have to. I won't let anybody touch you again, you just have to trust me cakes. That's all you have to do."

I grinned at what his words but I wanted to cry at the same time. This was too much, I was so grateful for him and what he does for me. So I looked at him in the eyes and spoke the following words with so much meaning.

         So much meaning like I never meant anything in my entire life.

       "Thank you"

***

"Pasta will be fine thanks." I smiled at the waiter as he quickly scribbled down my order.

Justin and I were at a cosy diner near the mall called the Moonlight diner. I don't know why they called it that but I think its because its open for 24 hours.

"And what will you be having sir?" The waiter asked while looking at Justin.

"The same as her." He replied without even looking at the poor guy. The waiter nodded before quickly walking away.

Once he was gone, I stared at Justin.

"What?"

I sighed, "you could've been nicer Justin."

"For what? I pay them already." He replied, making me roll my eyes.

As we were waiting for our food, my phone vibrated in my backpack. I tensed up but managed to sort myself out and took the phone out. Justin inspected me carefully but my heart relaxed after I saw the name flashing on my screen.

"Who is it?" Justin asked but I answered the call before I could answer him.

"Hello?" I asked as I waited for her voice at the other end of the line.

"Amara, where the hell are you? You are not in class, we are so worried." Kate's loud voice filled the silence. "I tried texting you but you didn't reply so I went out the class to call you. Where you at?"

"I...Kate...I went home. Wasn't feeling too good. I promise I'll be back tomorrow. I just...needed to go." I made up a lie quickly. This is not right. My friends care for me so bad but all I do is lie to them???

"Oh my God Amara. I don't know if its just me but I feel like you are drifting away from us. I mean we flipping care about you so much because we are best friends remember? But these days, you keep a lot to yourself and tell us so little. It hurts if you ask me." Her voice went lower and broke at the end. It was like she started crying which only made me feel worse. Am I really that bad of a friend? Am I even capable of being good, did Ben's abuse ruin me completely?

I should've told them from the beginning, it could've made everything much better. I was just trying to protect them, I didn't care about myself.

"Kate I-I don't know what to say. I didn't know you felt that way. I promise I'll make everything better. Please just..." I couldn't even finish my sentence as I burst into tears. Justin, with a pained expression, took the phone away from me and hung up.

"Cakes... Are you okay?"

"No obviously I'm not okay!" I snapped through tears.

         It was like everything just came back to me, all the feelings I've been bottling up in me have finally been released.

         I hated when this happened, my life felt totally worthless. As much as I had been trying to acknowledge that Ben was not around anymore, I still could not be happy because the abuse I had been pretending never happened for the past few weeks was now eating at me.

       My soul can't be at peace even if it's just for a single second. Now here's the question I've been dreading the answer to, was my life completely ruined?

         "Okay sorry that was a dumb question."

            I took a feel breath before speaking, "let's just get takeaways and go to the apartment. I really don't feel like being in the public right now." And I was telling the truth. Times like these I just really wanted to lock myself up behind closed doors.

           Justin nodded , "of course, let me just inform them to make it a takeaway." He countered then got up.

            People around were looking at me weirdly given the tears smudged all over my face.

             I waited for a good 7 minutes before Justin came back, holding a white paper bag with the name 'Moonlight' printed on it. In the other hand, he had a large chocolate milkshake and he held it out to me.

            "That's for you cakes, I hate seeing you cry and hopefully this will make you feel better." He uttered which just made me smile internally.

"Thank you"

"Don't thank me cakes."

I smiled externally.

***

        A few hours later, Justin and I were comfortable in his living room as we watched some episodes of an old comic show.

        He was sprawled on the couch and I was also sprawled on the other one. Blankets and junk food on top of us.

          The weather was suddenly colder than it was earlier and the weather forecast stated that we should expect snow...probably the last one for winter. Spring was in about a month's time.

          Which just reminded me, in exactly two weeks time, it was Leah's birthday party.

       Kate and I were supposed to pick a dress for her as she had asked. Although I didn't even feel much like party mode, Leah was my friend. My best friend at that.

        "What are you thinking about cakes?" Asked Justin, taking me out of my train of thoughts.

    "What?"

       "You're not even looking at the television and you look to be in deep thoughts. Care to share cakes?"

         I shifted uncomfortably in my seat... I shouldn't find it hard confiding in Justin and I'm not finding it hard it's just that I've been keeping most of my feelings to myself. Telling someone what I truly felt was so foreign to me and I hated that. It was just so frustrating and saddening.

        "Leah's birthday is coming up in two weeks time and that's what I'm thinking about " I confessed half the truth and Justin seemed to loosen up a little.

      "Are you looking forward to it."

I nodded, "Yeah, kind of. I at least need a positive thing going on in my life."

       My least expected reaction from Justin was for him to look like he had taken a blow. "So you think I'm not a positive aspect in your life ?"

I didn't mean it that way but instead of me telling him that to clear the confusion, I laughed instead.

"What the hell cakes, are you actually laughing right now?"

"No sorry, I just...I didn't mean it that way. I mean you are a positive aspect in my life Justin just relax a little." I replied between a series of laughs.

Justin placed his right hand on his heart and exhaled loudly...dramatic much?

" I won't lie, you had me there cakes I mean... I actually thought you hated me." Said Justin and I didn't even hesitate to shake my head.

"I don't hate you Justin."

"So you love me huh?"

I laughed and threw a pillow to him, maybe that was to distract him from seeing the crimson color that I was sure has stained my cheeks.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with a really goofy bronze haired boy. And I would not take anything away from the feeling.

***