Gray and Natsu get a new kitchen table, but disagree on how to assemble it.  

Takes place a year after 'i'd rather be a riot than indifferent

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"It's a table." Natsu looked up at his husband, gesturing at the booklet in his hand incredulously. "It's got a top and four legs. How can it possibly need fifty-four screws?"

Gray shrugged, peering over Natsu's shoulder at the surprisingly thick set of instructions. He had to admit, it was rather complicated for something as simple as a kitchen table. It hadn't looked that convoluted in the store.

"Why the hell did you pick this one?" Natsu grumbled, settling down cross-legged in front of the two cardboard boxes.

"I just picked the first one I saw because I wanted to get out of there!" Gray said, exasperated. "You're a menace in Ikea. You put literally everything you saw in the shopping cart – I had to get you out of that store."

"You're just jealous of my new Vardagen." Natsu grinned, glancing up at the counter where a stack of cookie sheets sat. Gray rolled his eyes.

"You don't even bake," he said, poking Natsu's thigh with his toe. "I do."

"Exactly." Natsu turned back to the instructions. "Now you have brand new baking sheets with which to make me cookies. You're welcome."

"You're the worst," Gray sighed, plopping down next to Natsu and grabbing one of the boxes. He tugged it open and dumped out the contents, handing Natsu the bag of screws.

An hour later, Natsu was cursing.

"What the actual fuck do they expect me to do with these?" He swore, putting his pinched finger in his mouth. In the other hand he held up the culprit – a tiny screw that was dwarfed between his fingers. "This is ridiculous!"

"It's because you have it backwards," Gray insisted, grabbing the instruction manual and pointing at the diagram. "Look, put it in this hole."

"That's what he said," Natsu snickered, earning him a dirty look from Gray. "Okay but seriously, these aren't real tools. I have a perfectly good power drill in the closet."

"Honey, you can't use a power drill on Ikea furniture." Gray sighed, grabbing the screw from Natsu's hand and shoving him over. "Just let me do it."

"Hey! I put together vehicles for a living, there's no way I can't assemble a damn table. Gimme that." Natsu snatched the screw back and glared at Gray. "And you only call me 'honey' when you think I'm being stupid."

"I don't think you're being stupid," Gray sighed, rubbing his face. "You just..."

"Just what?" Natsu growled, brow drawing into a frown. His thumb stung, but not nearly as much as his pride.

"Nothing, it's just..." Gray gestured to the pile of screws in front of them, and the distinctly un-table-like pile of pieces in front of them. "You're not-"

"I'm not an idiot, okay? I can do this." Gray raised his hands placatingly, but Natsu shook his head, snatching the instructions up off the ground. "Look, just...I don't need your help." He huffed, staring at the steps on the paper. "Go away, I can do it alone."

"Natsu, c'mon, you're being-"

"I'm being what?" Natsu glared again and Gray sighed, tipping his head back and staring at the ceiling. "Don't roll your eyes at me." He grabbed one of the tiny screws and shoved it in what he hoped was the corresponding hole.

"Look, you've got it backwards again-"

"I said go away!" Natsu slapped Gray's hand away from where he was working and felt only a slight pang of guilt when Gray recoiled, pushing himself to his feet. "I can do it," Natsu mumbled again.

"Fine. I'm going for groceries." Gray let out a shaky breath and then stalked away through the kitchen. Natsu sat still for several minutes, waiting until the apartment door slammed before letting the tension bleed out of his shoulders.

"Fuck," he whispered, rubbing his face. The anger and defensiveness were melting away, leaving him with only shame and regret. "Stupid." Happy appeared beside him and headbutted his arm, purring happily when Natsu scratched his ears. "Yeah, I know, I'm an asshole."

He turned back to the instructions, trying to make sense of the millions of numbers scattered across the page. When Gray got home he was going to apologize, but he was also going to have this fucking table built.

_____

"I'm sorry." Gray looked up from where he was pushing the door open with his foot to see Natsu standing there, hands out for the grocery bags, looking contrite. Gray sighed, passing the bags over and following Natsu into the kitchen.

"Me too," he said, reaching out and pulling Natsu into a hug. His husband pressed his face into Gray's neck, sighing deeply. "I should have trusted you."

"And I was a jerk," Natsu said, sounds muffled by Gray's sweater. Gray squeezed him, then leaned back, tipping Natsu's head up and kissing him.

"We good?" he asked, running his thumb over Natsu's cheekbone. Natsu nodded, then tilted his head to the other side of the counter. Gray glanced over to see the table, fully assembled with the boxes and garbage piled against the wall. "You finished it?"

"Mmm," said Natsu, pressing a kiss to Gray's neck. Gray sighed, running his fingers through Natsu's hair.

"Wanna test it?" He asked, leaning down to nip Natsu's earlobe. His husband looked up at him, frowning.

"Eat...supper at it?" Natsu asked, then blinked when Gray raised his eyebrow. "Oh! That kind of...oh. Yes. Yeah." Gray snorted and tugged Natsu up for a kiss, tightening his fingers in the pink hair and pulling his husband close.

"Gotta test how strong it is," he murmured against Natsu's lips. He ran his hands down to Natsu's hips, dipping his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans, and used them as handles to guide Natsu backward out of the kitchen. Gray shoved him none-too-gently up against the table, bringing one hand up to the back of Natsu's neck to pull him in for another deep kiss.

"Mnnnmm," Natsu groaned, hands sliding up Gray's back and then tugging at the bottom of his shirt. Gray yanked off both their shirts, throwing them to the floor and then returning to kissing Natsu while his hands wandered. He trailed his lips down his husband's neck, dipping fingers into the waistband of his jeans.

"Fuck, I love you," Gray murmured, thumbing open the button on Natsu's jeans and drawing down the zipper. He quickly tugged Natsu's pants and underwear to his knees, then drew his fingers up the underside of his husband's cock. "Doesn't take much to get you riled up."

"N-not...ahhh...not when it's you," Natsu said shakily, leaning back against the table as Gray started to stroke him. "Fffuu..." He startled as Gray dropped slowly to his knees, taking Natsu's cock into his mouth all at once. "Jesus--ahhh..." Fingers ran through Gray's dark hair as he bobbed up and down on Natsu's cock, alternating between taking him deep and lavishing attention on his head. Natsu's breathing became more and more ragged as Gray stroked the inside of his thighs, trailing his fingers up behind Natsu's balls and nudging his legs apart.

"I wanna bend you over and fuck you on this table," Gray murmured, pulling off of Natsu's cock. Natsu swore, tipping his head back and exhaling shakily. "That okay?"

"Y-yes, fuck, yes, pleas--aahh!" Gray's fingers stroked over his ass and Natsu's fingers tightened in his husband's hair unconsciously. "F-fuck, lube...bedr..."

"I've got it covered," Gray said, grinning up at Natsu and pulling a packet out of his jeans pocket. "Was planning on doing you over the couch later, but this works out even better." He tore open the packet with his teeth and spread the lube over his fingers, then returned them slowly to Natsu's entrance.

"Y-you're prepared...ahhh...for anythi...hahhh..." Natsu tensed as Gray slipped one finger inside of him, but quickly relaxed, focusing on the sensation of Gray's lips and tongue returning to his cock. Gods, Gray was good at this. One finger was quickly joined by another, and then another, and then his leg was up over Gray's shoulder and Gray was fingering him so hard he thought he was going to pass out.

"As much as I'd love to do this all day," Gray murmured, pulling off Natsu's cock and kissing the tip gently, "I need to be inside you." He stood up slowly, withdrawing his fingers and pulling Natsu in for another deep kiss.

"Off," Natsu grunted, tugging at the button on Gray's jeans and shoving his pants to the ground. "No underwear today?" He grinned, leaning up and nipping at Gray's neck. "I like it." He wrapped his hand around Gray's cock and stroked him a few times, enjoying the stuttered sighs it drew from his husband.

"Turn around," Gray growled, grabbing Natsu's hips and flipping him until he was facing the table. He grabbed a handful of pink hair and shoved Natsu's face until it was pressed against the wood and his ass was up in the air. "Mmmmgod you're amazing." Natsu groaned as Gray's finger traced his entrance again, then was replaced by the head of his cock. "You look so good like this," Gray whispered, pressing forward slowly.

"M-more," Natsu panted, palms flat against the surface of the table, wincing at the sensation of Gray pulling his hair. He groaned at the painpleasure of Gray pushing into him, accentuated by the litany of curses that were spilling from Gray's lips. "Fuck, Gray," Natsu hissed as Gray's hips hit his ass.

"Look at you," Gray murmured, sliding his hands up Natsu's back and dragging his nails back down, leaving red lines across his skin. "Fuck, I love you like this." He ran one hand up to the back of Natsu's neck and brought the other over to pin Natsu's wrist.

Natsu swore as Gray pulled out of him and snapped back in, driving his hips into the edge of the table. Gray made a concerned sound but Natsu shook his head, urging him to do it again. Gray groaned and thrust forward again, squeezing the back of Natsu's neck.

"I love...ahhnn...watching myself," Gray panted, snapping forward again, "...sliding...aaah...into you." Natsu groaned, cheeks pink with embarrassment and exertion. Gray brought both hands down to Natsu's hips, grasping them tightly as he started to move faster, grunting loudly with each thrust.

"B-baise moi plus fort," Natsu ground out, feeling his calves tense as he pushed himself up on his toes. Gods, Gray hadn't even touched him yet and he was ready to come. Gray's fingers gripped his hips so tightly that Natsu expected it to bruise tomorrow, and it was perfect. He made a sound of disappointment when Gray slowed down, eventually pulling out.

"Turn around," Gray said gently, grabbing Natsu around the waist and lifting him up onto the table. "I wanna see your face." He pulled Natsu in for a sloppy kiss, all tongue and teeth and gasping breaths. "Lie down."

Natsu lay back on the table, feeling a momentary flash of trepidation flow through him that was quickly dismissed by the sensation of Gray sliding back into him. He gasped at the different angle, shifting himself on the table as Gray grabbed his thighs and started to thrust again.

"F-fuck, Gray, y-you..." Natsu threw his head back as Gray reached between them and began to stroke him, matching the pace his hips set as he thrust into Natsu over and over. "Ghnhhh, ah, you're...y-yeah..." The familiar tightness and sense of release was building and he gripped Gray's forearm tightly.

"N-natsu, câlice, I c-ca...aaah!" Gray thrust one last time, burying himself into Natsu as his eyes squeezed shut and his body tensed. Watching Gray's face transform pushed Natsu over the edge and he shouted, hips arching off the table as he came, fingers tight on Gray's arms, and--

CRACK.

Fuck. Natsu only had time to think the one word before the surface beneath him wobbled unsteadily, then slid to one side, cracking again and tossing him to the ground. Gray made an undignified sound as he tumbled forward, landing partway on top of Natsu, in between two sections of broken table.

There was a long silence, broken only by the sound of several screws falling to the ground and rolling across the floor. Gray's expression was inscrutable as he hovered over Natsu, both of them still panting and coming down from their highs.

Gray was the first to say something. "I don't way to say 'I told you s-',"

"Yes, you absolutely want to say 'I told you so', you smug bastard." Natsu groaned, pushing himself up on his elbows and glaring at the broken pieces of wood on either side of him. "I'll give it to you, though – this is a disaster."

Gray burst out laughing, flopping over onto his back in the middle of the mess, head tipped back and eyes closed. Natsu tried to resist, but the sound was contagious and soon he found himself giggling as well, dropping down next to his husband.

"We fucked it..." Gray snickered, gasping for air, "...to pieces!" He turned to Natsu and shook his head. "Did you even read the rest of the instructions?"

Natsu pouted, turning to rest his head on Gray's chest. "I'm dyslexic," he grumbled. He could feel Gray snort beneath him.

"The instructions are pictures, dumbass," he retorted, wrapping an arm around his husband. Natsu sighed, still letting out the occasional giggle they cuddled together, sticky and dishevelled.

"You know what this means," he said after a moment, nuzzling Gray's neck.

"What?" Gray asked, humming happily as Natsu pressed a kiss below his ear.

"We have to go back to Ikea."  

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French Translations

Baise moi plus fort = Fuck me harder
câlice = fuck