Edited

~Kaylee

Slowly, the darkness around me vanished as the lights flooded into my eyes. Letting out a small groan, I adjusted my eyes to the lights and sat up looking around.

Gathering from the white walls and small beds in the room, this was the school’s sick bay, how I ended up there? I had no idea. My head ached as I tried to recall, all I could remember was the word blacking out as I laid on the bathroom floor.

I tried to get up but almost tripped because of how light headed I felt. Thankfully the school nurse walked in coming towards me.

“You’re awake, good. How are you feeling?” She asked placing a hand to my head.

“I’ve been worse.” I mumbled.

She gave me a small smile. “You’ve been out for most of the day and you looked so exhausted. Have you been resting and taking your medications?”

Having my medical records, she was one of the few people that knew I had cancer.

“Yes, I just...I slept late last night.” I lied. “How did I get here?”

“Oh yes, a girl is waiting to speak with you outside. She was the one who carried you here with a guy.” She said going towards the door before she opened it and Becca walked in.

“You have ten minutes, besides school will soon be over.” the nurse said walking out as she shut the door, leaving just the both of us.

“Um...thanks for bringing me here I guess.” I said looking away.

“Kaylee...” She called, her voice cracking.

Turning back, I realised she was crying.

“I’m sorry.” she said walking towards my bed. “I’m so sorry.”

I stared at her shock. This wasn’t something I expected at all.

“Sorry...for what?”

“I haven’t been a good friend.” She said as she sat down on the chair next to my bed. “I haven’t been a friend at all. I was afraid....and I know it’s a stupid excuse but just hear me out ok?”

I just nodded not knowing what to say.

“Bella and I were having a hard time. Our Dad had been cheating on mom and every evening, he would come back drunk and reek of alcohol.” She started. “Whenever our mom tried to confront him about everything, he would beat her up and threaten her. He would spend all our money on his drinks and leave us with nothing, he would beat us up every night even when we were starving.

 One particular night, he came back really drunk and angry. He ended up taking his anger on mom, he nearly killed her but I don’t know how it happened. Mom kept yelling for us to go back upstairs and when it became quiet, we went downstairs and dad was lying in a pool of his blood with mom sobbing next to him on the floor. We weren’t kids, we were 13 but everything was too much at that point.

When the police came, mom got arrested and we were taken to our aunts’ house. Eventually, when the day of her trial came, she was let off because it was self-defence. She lost custody of us because she wasn’t herself anymore and she needed therapy. It kind of broke us, to lose both our parents at once. And in a horrible way at that.

I guess that was what made Bella so bitter, she got jealous of you. She would always complain about how you never stopped talking about your perfect family. I didn’t say anything, why would I get angry at someone who wasn’t at fault and had no idea. It was so messed up, we lied about everything to anybody who cared to ask, saying our parents travelled abroad for work because we were ashamed.

When your dad died, as sick as it sounded, it made Bella a little happy. Even if she never told me directly, I was her twin, I knew her better than anyone else. I decided to ignore it, I thought it was her way of grief and as long as she didn’t hurt anyone, it would be OK. I found myself drifting from you because Bella would always make up an excuse so I would cancel our plans to hang out.

When your mom died and you eventually told us everything, I had no idea Bella would use it against you. I didn’t think she would go that far, I thought maybe she would finally get over it since you were going through worse. I guess she was just taking her anger on you but I should have stopped her or I should have told you. I should have been a better friend but I depended on my sister so much I was afraid if I went against her, I would truly be alone. My aunt wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine so Bella was all I had left and I was selfish enough that I didn’t want to lose her. I realise how much of a coward I was then now.

Even when it happened again today, I still couldn’t bring myself to go against her. Honestly, when we moved, I was happy Bella left you alone. I know it was cold but I was happy she left you alone than for her to continue loathing you. Then Melissa had to come in the equation, I hate her so much. Melissa is the girl with the locks you saw us with that day and she’s Christian’s ex or something like that, I just know that she has history with him.

Apparently, she read your chat with Christian and found out the both of you went on a date. She was pissed and Bella took her side spreading rumours about you. She told them about your parents’ death and that you not talking is a fake act you do to get pity, plus she told them you tricked Christian to go out with you and stuff. Gossip in this school spreads like wildfire and it didn’t help that she’s popular.

At first, I tried to ignore it but when I saw you on the bathroom floor, I realised I was just being stupid and a coward all along. You don’t have to forgive me or anything, I just wanted to let you know I’m really sorry. I wish I wasn’t so stupid and afraid, I wish I was a better friend.” She finished, wiping the tears from her eyes.

I was taken aback and I knew I should be angry so why did I feel...sad? Guilty? Relieved? Happy? A mix of all of them?

“I had...no idea you guys went through all that. And I don’t know if I should feel angry but I feel...I feel relieved to know that you still cared and at the same time guilty because I didn’t know you guys were going through a lot.” I said honestly and she gave me a weak smile.

“You don’t have to feel guilty, it’s still a terrible reason to act the way we did no matter what we went through.” She said.

“You were just scared, Bella is a whole other case.” I said and we laughed. “I guess....I guess I’m just happy I still had a friend all this whole.”

“So you forgive me?” She rose her eyebrows and I laughed.

“I don’t think I was ever really mad at you anyway.” I said wincing slightly as she threw her arms around me in a tight hug.

“Sorry, I forgot” She said pulling away as she noticed my discomfort. “Are you getting better?”

“I’m alive right? Honestly, I’m surprised Bella didn’t tell the whole world I have cancer.” I joked.

“I don’t think she would, she’s...she’s mean yeah but she’s not heartless.” she shrugged. “I don’t know how her mind works to be honest, she’s unpredictable.”

I honestly didn’t know how to feel at the moment towards Bella. A small part of me felt better knowing she was just in pain but another part still resents her for what she put me through.

Becca on the other hand, maybe I was too nice by forgiving her right away but I was glad I did regardless. It felt like a whole block lifted off my chest.

“By the way, are you and Christian actually like a thing now? God, you should have seen Mel’s’ face when she saw Christian carry you to the bay. You know what, save it, we have so much to catch up on.” Becca squealed as she got up. “I guess we’ll talk tomorrow?”

“Y-yeah.” I choked after hearing Christian was the guy who carried me here.

The nurse came back and checked a few vital things before she let me go after making me promise I would get proper rest. Thankfully, there was hardly anyone around. School closed five minutes ago so I didn’t have to deal with the attention anymore.

Just because I got a heartfelt confession and possible a friend back didn’t mean the rest of my problems were solved. Suddenly all the pressure of today came back and I sighed feeling moody. I made my way to the place where Christian usually waited for me not sure if he would still be around.

Thankfully his car was there waiting for me, I sighed in relief which only lasted for a second before the annoyance settled in. Getting into his car, I slammed the door shut and turned to the window completely ignoring him.

“Are you feeling better?” I heard him ask but I didn’t reply

I heard him let out a sigh.

“So we’re doing this again? We’re going back to how we started again?” He asked.

Once again, I didn’t reply.

“The date, the Kiss...everything means nothing?”

I turned to glare at him. “What do you want it to be?”

“I….I don’t even…you know what forget it” he said and turned his attention to the road.

Tearing my gaze from the window, I turned to look at him.

He looked pissed off, his knuckles were turning white from gripping the wheel too tight and his jaws were ticking slightly.

Probably feeling my gaze on him, he turned to look at me. His grey eyes piercing into my brown ones.

Forcing myself to look away, I turned back to the window and sighed.

I don’t even know why I was angry at this point. I guess I was scared because I had no idea what this boy was doing to me. He was breaking down my walls I spent years to build. I’m changing a lot in little ways that I barely even realize. And it’s scary, but sometimes I don’t even know what I’m scared of.

The car slowly came to a stop in front of my house and Christian turned to look at me.

“We’re there.” he said and then focused his gaze back on the road.

“Thanks.” I said as I got down.

I was already walking towards the door when I turned back and walked to the car, the guilt eating me up.

“I….it’s just that it’s a lot of things going on with me and I know you won’t understand why-” I said but he cut me off.

“How? How do you know I won’t understand?  God dammit I know you’re going through a lot and I’ve never one day pushed you to tell me!” He snapped. He took a breath and calmed down. “I try to be there for you but for some reason you keep on hating me more and more when I keep trying and I just don’t understand. I’m really trying to understand you Kaylee but you don’t make it easy for me.”

It was quiet for a while, the silence feeling the air.

“I don’t hate you.” I finally said, my voice low. “I’m sorry….maybe you should stay away from me…it’s for the best.”

I heard him curse under his breath as I was walking away. Getting down from the car, he walked up to me and grabbed my wrist pulling me to him.

“I don’t understand you and I think I’ll never really do. You drive me nuts and maybe that’s the reason why I keep coming back to you.” he said turning me around so I was facing him.

“Chris-“

“And I want you to know no matter how hard you keep on pushing me, it’s not going to be enough to keep me away.” he said and leaned down pressing his lips against mine.

.

By the way, this is the second kiss. I removed the scene in the car🥲
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