It was a difficult next several weeks. November flew by in a blur of dried, falling leaves. Then half of December rolled through with a chilly breeze.

I tried everything in my power to keep the news from my parents, but I just couldn't. Somehow, it seemed the whole world knew that Ian and I broke up and that I had left the band.

Those two pieces of news were the only ones that were true. The reasoning behind them, though, was ridiculous.

Some people were saying that I had a diva moment and said that I said that I was better than the rest of the band and deserved all of the spotlight, which is why I left the band. And I broke up with Ian to get attention. This didn't make any sense because I already had the unwanted attention because of our relationship. I didn't need to get any by breaking up with him.

Another rumor was that I was pregnant and couldn't handle the stress of being in a band and that I was angry at Ian for getting me pregnant. It, too, was false and made no sense. Yet another rumor said that I had been cheating on Ian with Caleb.

It made me angry that every single one of the rumors that was going around made me the bad guy. Ian wasn't at fault in any of the situations, which I didn't think was fair at all. Why wasn't I the victim? Did I really appear to be that harsh?

Mae kept telling me to ignore what the news was saying. But I couldn't help it. It was everywhere; the lies were everywhere. I was the victim and no one would believe me.

My mom made sure my father didn't know about anything; he couldn't be stressed out. She offered to sue Ian, but I told her it made no sense. He didn't really do anything besides use me and break my heart.

I still had that tight pain in my chest. Every now and then, I would sit alone and cry to myself.  It hurt. Everything hurt.

                                                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                                                              {Ian's POV}

"Vanessa cheated on Ian with fellow band mate, Caleb," E! News was saying. I groaned and turned the TV off. It seemed that everywhere I looked, I saw her name or her face with some caption that was telling a lie.

I did it! I used her! I broke her heart!

I wanted to yell at all those stupid, misinformed reporters. But I didn't; and that just made me feel even worse about myself.

Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw the pain-stricken face of Vanessa when I told her the truth. Every word I had said was like a visible injury to her. 

I had been wrong. It was my fault. She shouldn't be suffering this much right now.

I felt guilty all the time. Everywhere I went, people sympathised with me. Every word of comfort struck me hard.

Caleb knew the real story. He was the only one who knew what had really happened. Liam and Cameron were still confused. They tried really hard at first to get Vanessa to come back. I remember them pleading with her. Caleb also begged her to think things through again. He told her not to let what I had done to her affect the band.

I didn't expect her to listen. And she didn't. She wouldn't come back. We were going to go over the official legal signings later on in the week. She would still be receiving her cut of the money from the old album sales. And the band? We lost another lead singer.

And me? I lost the most perfect girl I could have ever had.

I was selfish and stupid and greedy and apathetic. I was all of the most horrible things in the world put into one human being. Everytime I saw a picture of Vanessa in a magazine or online, I could see the pain that I was putting her through. It was me. I had done it.

And I was sorry.

But how could I tell her? How could I possibly make it up to her? She would never take me back; not after all that I'd done to her. And instead of going up to her and immediately begging her forgiveness, I hid like a wimp in my apartment. Was it too late now? Had I lost her forever.

I shook my head. No; I couldn't give up. There had to be something I could do. Maybe it would be best if she didn't take me back. But I couldn't live like this knowing how much she hated me. I had to do something.

                                                                            {End Ian's POV}

                                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I had the lawyers make a contract. This says that all the money that the band will make in the future that has anything to do with you, Vanessa Laine, you will receive your cut. But whatever money the band makes in the future that has nothing to do with you, will remain their's," Paul said, passing me the papers. "And this says that you are officially out of the contract with All Time Records," he added, handing me another paper. I looked at the thick sheet of paper I held in my hands, shaking slightly. Paul passed me a black ink pen. I held it slightly over the line I had to sign on.

"Wait! Vanessa! Please, think over this again," Caleb spoke up.

"You'll regret it if you don't. Please, V, we need you," Liam pleaded.

"You were what defined us; you gave us that different element that got us so popular so quickly. We need you," Cameron agreed. I felt a lump form in my throat. They had no idea how much this hurt and how difficult it was for me to break with the band.

The Velocity had been my way of overcoming the stage phobia I'd had for my whole life. It had been my opportunity to finally face my fears and do what I loved to do most: sing. And here I was, just centimeters and a signature away from throwing my dreams and the life I had created into the air.

"Just think about it again," Caleb repeated. I looked up at him and his eyes were pleading and desperate. I looked at Liam and Cameron, both of whom had that same desperation on their faces. I avoided looking at Ian, who was sitting quietly in the far corner, hidden in the shadows.

"Give me a week," I said in a gruff voice. I heard several sighs of relief around the room.

"That's great. That's really great. We'd hate to lose you, Vanessa," Paul said. I glared at him. I was just as mad at him as I was at Ian. He did, after all, agree to the whole plan and was so intent on following it through. I set the pen down and stood up and left the room. As I made my way down the hallway to the elevators, I felt someone grab my wrist. I turned to see Ian, his face showing a painful and desperate expression. I yanked my arm from his grasp.

"Don't touch me," I hissed.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say," I replied, turning my gaze away from him. I felt a pang in my heart. I wanted to get away from him.

"Please, Vanessa; it's been almost two months. Just hear me out this one time," he said.

"Didn't you hear me? I don't ant to listen to anything you have to say," I repeated. "You said all you had to two months ago. I don't want to hear anything else. You've ruined my life, Ian," I said, my voice cracking.

"What can I do for you to accept my apology?" he asked, earnest pleading in his voice. And suddenly I was angry.

"What can you do? What can you do to get my apology?! You think I'm going to forgive you for what you did to me?" I asked, my voice getting more and more high-pitched. I glared at him now, my face showing exasperation. After a pause, I continued. "Show me that I'm more important to you than all of this. Show me that you aren't the selfish, greedy, obsessed person that you were two months ago. Show me that I mean something more to you than just a way to get more fans," I continued. "If you can do that...." I trailed off, finding it difficult to breathe. "If you can do that, you might have a chance," I finished. He was looking at his feet, his brow furrowed. When he didn't say anything else, I turned and walked away. As the elevator went down to the lobby, I felt my heart sinking with it.

                                                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He's trying to apologize to me," I told Mae when I got home.

"What?" she asked, looking up from sketching an outfit in her drawing pad.

"He asked me what he could do to earn my forgiveness," I answered.

"What did you say?" she asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"I said that he needs to show me that I'm more important to him than his fame and that if he does that, I might forgive him," I replied. She broke the pencil she was holding.

"You're going to FORGIVE HIM?" she shouted, throwing me off. "After everything he's done to you?! After the zero effort he's put in to get rid of all those nasty rumors?! After using you and breaking you so much that you still haven't gone back to your old self?!" she yelled. I turned my gaze away from her, feeling like I had made a big mistake. "I can't believe you're thinking about forgiving him," she said in frustration.

"I said I might. I didn't say I would," I defended in a quiet voice.

"Oh please. We both know what that means. God, that son of a bitch was lucky. Any other girl would hate his guts forever. Only you would think about forgiving him," Mae said.

She was angry and had every right to be. She had to live with her best friend staying up all night crying for hours on end, for falling into random silence, for driving away for hours at a time to get away. She was worried about me and was afraid I'd get hurt again.

"I don't want to be mad at him forever, though," I said finally. She looked at me, still glaring. "It's too much energy and I'm tired. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of crying everytime I hear his name or see his face. It's too much and I can't do it anymore. Maybe if I forgave him, I can pack up my life and move on. I need closure and I'm not going to get it by being angry at him forever," I explained. She blinked and then sighed, frustrated.

"I guess you're right. But he better be willing to go to drastic measures to earn that forgiveness," she said. I nodded.

"I won't give it unless he deserves it," I assured her.

"Yeah, you better not," she huffed, rummaging through her bag for another pencil.

                                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's great to have you here with us, Vanessa," Chelsea Grant, of GossipCentral, a gossip channel on Youtube, said. I said I'd give them an interview because they had been begging me to clear up some rumors. When I had consented to the interview, I thought that I would have signed the contract to be out of the band and that I would make the announcement official. But seeing as that didn't happen, I was just going to have to make up some excuse.

"Thanks for having me," I said politely, brushing my long hair off of my neck.

It took me forever to get ready that day. I had lost a lot of weight in the past two months because I had no appetite. The weight loss showed in my face and I looked extremely weak and pale. Everything I put on just accentuated this appearance. Mae had to do some magic tricks with make-up to make my face glow a little and look slightly less dead looking.

"So it seems like you've had a rough couple of months here, haven't you?" she asked me. Her overly tanned skin and obnoxiously fake voice annoyed me.

"Yeah, I have," I replied.

"First the whole thing with your father and now this problem with the band and your break-up. What's going on?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Well, everyone has those difficult times in their life, I guess. Mine decided to show up now," I answered.

"There have been a lot of rumors going around as to what's happened. What's the real story? What's actually going on?" she questioned. Her lip gloss was too shiny and distracting. I blinked.

"Well, about the only thing that's true is that Ian and I broke up and that I am thinking about leaving the band," I replied. "The reasoning and everything is all a bunch of lies, basically," I said. Her too-thin eyebrows shot up. Yeah, bitch. The majority of those lies stemmed from your website. I held back my thoughts.

"So you and Ian broke up? Any reasons why?" she asked. I felt my heart sink a little and pound faster. What was I supposed to say? I had fired my publicist because I intended on leaving the band. I had no one to make up a story for me. I decided to put up an indifferent face and shrugged.

"It was just...circumstances," I said, trying to be as vague as possible.

"What kinds of circumstances?" she pressed. God, she was annoying.

"Difficult ones," I replied, still not really giving anything away.

"Is that the reason you're leaving the band?" she asked.

"A little bit. But mostly because I need to get my life organized. My father's heart attack was a big shock to my family and I kind of just want to settle down a bit. The band thing happened so quickly and I just want to slow down a little," I replied. This wasn't completely a lie. I did want to slow down. It just wasn't the reason I was leaving the band.

"So what are your future plans now? Going solo?" she asked. I shook my head.

"I actually don't know what my plans are as of now. We'll see where things take me. I haven't even officially left the band yet. Who knows, I might even end up staying with the boys." I responded.

"Well, that's what I'm rooting for. You're an excellent singer and it'd be a shame to lose you," she said in a fake voice. I knew she probably didn't even listen to our music. But I smiled regardless.  "Well thanks for stopping by and clearing things up. I'm sure your fans were eager to find out what was going on," she said. She looked into a different camera. "Join us next week, when we sit down and chat with the stars of Pretty Little Liars," she said sweetly. And then I assumed the shot was over. "Well, that's that. It was nice seeing you, Vanessa. Wish you all the best," she said hurriedly. I nodded and stood, wanting to get out of there. I stayed to take a few pictures and then left right away.

I wanted to get out of that hell hole.

______________________________________________________________________________

A/N: So I'm thinking two more parts for this story and then it'll be over. But fear not, my ardent readers! I have another great idea up my sleeve and am anxious to get started on it. Be ready for a new story probably Sunday or Monday.

As always, comment and vote!

XOXO

P.S. I don't know if GossipCentral is an actual website. If it is, it's purely coincidental. I made it up.