For the past few weeks, Peter Parker felt like he was in an endless loop.

His days seemed to be same, nothing was happening and he lived in his regular routine. It felt draining and dull to the point he just wanted to sleep for a few days because he was sure he wouldn't miss a thing.

He would wake up, eat breakfast, do literally nothing until like 12 pm when he would maybe hang out with Ned (it depended on what the boy was doing) eat lunch, maybe take a nap and then go night patrolling and often fighting with the Green Goblin. It felt like he was stuck in some kind of deja vu that was constantly repeating itself in front of his eyes. He felt like he was dreaming, floating out of the reality.

He was bored out of his mind, specially since he decided to stop visiting Bambi as his other self. The last time he visited he for sure fucked up a little bit, and he was afraid the Moody girl would eventually realise what is Spider-Man's identity behind the red mask.

First he was stuttering in front of her and panicking from the inside and from the outside the first night when he bumped into her. The second time he disappeared from the party just as something blew up in the distance and Spider-Man appeared (and he thought the girl didn't care less in that moment, since she was blackout drunk), then he almost smashed the whole-ass vending machine to the ground in front of her and worst of it all 'since when do you have a dog?'. He wanted to burry himself in that moment.

You know it's critical when Peter Parker- the most oblivious person in universe, is obvious to his obviousness.

Not to mention Bambi Moody was smart as hell. She could read anyone as good as a book.

He thought nothing could happen if he didn't visit the girl. She could never find out if she never sees Spider-Man again, right?

Well, of course he was wrong.

His every day winter holiday cycle that was boring, dull and slightly depressed aggressively broke once when Ned Leeds received shocking text message from none other than Harry Osborn. This might make you fall out of your chair or drop the phone on your face, but that boy actually asked them to hang out with his little group of friends, just a day after Peter got serious bruises all over his face.

There was a wound on his bottom lip and other one right across his cheek. Usually he could heal pretty fast with his supernatural power, but the things the Green Goblin attacked with were definitely made specifically for the hero in red and blue spandex.

Peter honestly thought about not hanging out with the group that day. He knew it would raise suspicion between five people (including Michelle since she was invited too) and it scared him to death but his dark skinned friend was determined to go.

He told him he could just make something up, a story that would be really convincing, and even though Peter really doubted all of them would buy it, he decided to try, because of Ned. He needed that in his life, he was so happy about finally getting friendly with so many people.

It was cold, so the injured boy managed to cover most of his bruises on his body- except his face. He put a scarf around his neck where visible claw marks could be seen, those happened when the Green Goblin held him for his neck and threatened to ruin him and everyone he loves, but it's all cool, it's not like he died or something.

The only thing he couldn't cover was that bruised lip and cheek, but Ned and him came up with a pretty good story.

Peter was peacefully walking down the street when suddenly his leg slipped on the ice and he clumsily crashed into a metal pole, and then once again he fell down on the ground and hit his cheek.

It was a perfect (according to them of course) story that everyone would buy because the brown haired boy truly was clumsy when he was not in skin tight suit.

So the two boys headed to the park where they agreed to meet, Peter hiding the bottom of his face in his warm scarf that was actually pretty useful since it was freezing cold outside. Just as the group of people came in the boys' views, Peter regretted everything.

"Maybe this is a bad idea—" he began, obviously insecure as his heart beat became quicker. He knew that the first thing they would ask would be 'what happened to you?' and he was petrified.

"Just chill and don't look mysterious." Ned shushed him as they were now almost in front of the group.

"Hi!" Gwen first greeted with genuine smile on her face, and the rest of the group greeted in unison as well with awkward waves of their hands.

Peter sneakily glanced at the certain brunette to see if she was still suspicious after that whole vending machine fiasco on the ski trip, but the girl was just smiling kindly and holding her doberman puppy for the leash. Her nose was red as Rudolf's again and she was shifting from leg to leg as if she was a little bit cold.

As soon as puppy's brown eyes landed on him, the little animal got sudden rush of extreme happiness and he began to bark at the boy and pull Bambi towards him. The girl seemed a little shocked but still allowed Alpha to get to the boy before he excitedly began to jump all over him. Peter got on his knees and ran his fingers through his fur, his gaze fixed on the little creature as amused smile tugged on his lips.

"Hey there little one." He said in soft voice. He really loved dogs.

"Woah, he really likes you." Harry huffed as he watched the interaction and rolled his bright eyes annoyedly.

"Isn't it like, Alpha doesn't like many people?" Mary Jane added as she titled her head. "Not fair, I really thought I was special." She pouted her bottom lip.

"Yeah, weird." Bambi murmured. She looked deep in a thought, like puzzle pieces were connecting in her mind, but Peter couldn't figure out what if was. The boy's heart skipped a beat since he thought she finally noticed his bruises, but she wasn't looking at him, so his shoulders slumped in relief.

But his happiness happened too soon because just as relief crossed his eyes, the girl looked up at him and her brown eyes widened in concern.

"Jesus Christ what happened to you?" She said in low voice so others who chatted about something else wouldn't raise panic as well.

"Um what?" He stumbled as he looked down at Alpha, trying to avoid girl's worried gaze.

"Bitch, your face is like... fucked up." She whispered as she crouched down as well, trying not to look too suspicious, petting her dog's head.

"I slipped on ice. It's nothing, really." He quickly brushed it off.

"Are you sure you're fine? You could break a bone like that—"

"Yeah, I just hit my face—"

"Maybe you got conclusion? Peter hitting your face that hard could be really dangerous—"

"Bambi, it's nothing." He cut her off quickly.

"Oh, okay." She avoided his gaze as she stood up and the boy beside her immediately felt guilty for being so harsh towards the girl that was only worried about him.

"Guys, do you want to head to pastry shop? It's pretty cold outside." Gwen asked as she stuffed her hands in the pockets of her coat.

Everyone was quick to agree meanwhile Peter swallowed down and fear rose in his chest again. They were about to go somewhere warm where he would have to take all of these clothing off. He locked eyes with Ned, who didn't seem to get the point at first before brunet clenched his jaw and looked down at his scarf and then back at his friend whose eyes widened in realisation.

After few minutes long walk full of Peter's worrying and overthinking, they finally arrived at the destination. They all sat down at one big table. Bambi headed to the cashier to ask them if its okay to have a puppy in there that wouldn't disturb other costumers as everyone took of their big coats and jackets and were deciding what should they order meanwhile Peter was having his inner panic attack.

It was steaming hot in there and he was refusing to take off his jacket and scarf. Even if he did so, the wounds still wouldn't be visible since he wore long sleeved sweater with turtle neck, but the risk was higher anyways.

"Peter, for god's sake, take off your jacket, you're gonna boil yourself like soup in that." Michelle said as she pointed her gaze at him and raised her eyebrows expectedly.

"It's fine, I caught a cold... I don't want to get sick even more." He lied, hoping no one would ask any questions more. Michelle gave him annoyed look on her face and pressed her lips tightly, obviously not buying it.

"Dude, it's like sauna in here." Harry agreed. "I really doubt you will get sick."

Everyone was looking at him with perplexed and expecting gazes, and the boy felt himself swallow down. Smiling awkwardly and nodding his head, he took his jacket off, his arms burning as he did so. He carefully removed the scarf, revealing his jaw and bottom lip.

"Fuck, what happened?" Michelle was the first one to ask, worry filling her voice. Peter wasn't even surprised she was concerned, they were really good friends after all and he didn't tell her about being injured.

Others glanced at his bloody bottom lip too, wincing as they did so. It was pretty ugly sight after all.

"Oh, this?" He tried to play it cool and not mess up like he did with Bambi. "I slipped on ice. Don't worry, it's no big deal." He said nonchalantly as he shrugged.

"That looks pretty painful, though." The only redhead in the group added, her eyebrows were furrowed. The boy felt under pressure when he had to lie in front of her, knowing the girl was born actress and could recognise bad liars easily.

"Nah, I'm good."

Just as he said that, Bambi returned with a waiter and her dog. Alpha immediately hopped towards Peter's legs, putting his head on his knees. His owner rolled her eyes at that but smiled anyways, deciding to sit right next to the boy her dog adored. Everyone took their orders and went back to their chatting, forgetting about Peter's situation, and he was endlessly glad.

Alpha was still partly in the boy's lap, everyone was having a good time talking and laughing, eating slices of cake. For the first time in days, Peter felt like he was actually breaking his routine, the cycle. It all felt like some alternative universe, he didn't feel like the situation was real at all.

"Do you mind if I take picture of you?" Bambi asked as she already pulled out her phone.

"What. Why?" Peter titled his head in confusion, taken back by the question no one really asked before.

"It would be really cute and like aesthetic, puppy is in your lap and theres a slice of cake and—" she tried to explain as she gestured with her arms, making the boy smile sympathetically at her. He noticed she was moving her arms a lot when she was talking, and he loved it.

"Yeah, sure." He shrugged, but soon after realised he had no idea how to pose on the pictures since no one really took photos of him. "Uhh... should I like, look at the camera or—"

"No, no..." she rushed as she held her phone steadily. "Just... dunno, do your thing."

What is even supposed to be my thing??

Peter awkwardly looked down at the dog in his lap, smiling at it and petting it as clicks of iPhone camera could be heard. He was used to being pictured when he was... the other him. Everyone wanted a picture with him or just picture of the young hero in general. No one wanted a picture of Peter Parker except the photographers for yearbook.

"These are perfect." The girl muttered as she leaned over to show Peter pictures she took, and he cringed a little. He was definitely not photogenic. "What??" She asked chuckling when she noticed his grimace. "You look good on these! You should put it on your Insta!"

"Um... I don't have one." He said honestly as he avoided the girl's gaze. He never really had any reason to have it, specially since he wasn't that popular and had only few friends.

"Let's make you one!" Bambi happily exclaimed and clapped her hands excitedly, making the boy that sat beside her chuckle a little and Alpha raising his head to look at her.

"Uh... sure." The girl happily made another instagram account on her phone and then giving the device to the boy. He filled all things he needed except the username. "Should my username just be like... Peter Parker?"

"Don't ask me! My username is literally bam.bam with profile picture of real Disney Bambi." She grinned. "Make it whatever."

They went on and on with that, trying to find a perfect username for the boy. Later they posted his first picture ever, what lead to Bambi loudly commanding everyone to drop a follow and a like since she was too proud of her work. She posted a picture of Peter too but in a different pose so they wouldn't have the same one. On the photo both Peter and Alpha were looking at the camera with puppy eyes while the brunet pouted.

"That photo is adorable." The long haired girl said in awe as she tagged the boy on the picture and put 'Puppy eyes 🐕' for the caption.

"You like taking pictures?" Peter asked as they stared at the photo and the girl beside him smiled proudly at it, dimples appearing in her chubby cheeks.

"Yeah. You and Alpha are nice combination." She said as she looked at the mentioned dog. "He weirdly really likes you."

"Who else does he like?"

"My parents, Mary Jane, me of course and—" she suddenly trailed off, her voice quieting down, but realisation took over Peter and suddenly he knew the last person she was about to name but stopped herself.

Spider-Man.

***

Peter Parker loved taking baths.

He would rest in the water for a long time, not necessarily in a need to feel extreme jubilation or anything- he liked to relax, and that colourless liquid did that. His whole body was floating as it felt like it was made out of jelly, his muscles were relaxing.

He didn't feel pain, he just felt warm. He didn't feel the wounds that were roughly scattered across his light skin, but even though physical pain was gone for a moment, there was a battle of thoughts in his mind. He would feel drained and numb, like he didn't want to get out of it for a very long time but just stare at nothing with tired eyes.

Peter often didn't want to be himself.

He wanted to be a normal teenager worrying about teenage stuff. He wanted to worry about what should he wear on winter formal and prom, he wanted to go with his friends to coffee shop after school and watch football games, cheering on the players with Ned. He wanted to have friends without constantly being in fear that they would find out his secret. He wanted to go out at night and do what teenagers do, he wanted to not be afraid of himself dying.

But again, he wouldn't give anything not to be Spider-Man, even though it was such big responsibility and you had to sacrifice lot of things for it. And one of those things was a normal teenage life.

He exhaled sharply, his chest felt heavy and his body felt numb.

That feeling would hit him sometimes.

Too often, actually.

His eyes were slowly dropping and his vision was becoming darker, the sound disappearing somewhere, muted in the background.

It was dark. That's all he knew.

The only thing he felt was coldness hitting against his skin. It was cold even for his supernatural powers.

He was frantically turning around, trying to find any source of lighting, but there was no any. He glanced down at the floor, but he couldn't see his legs. It was like his body was trapped in endless void with no sounds—

"The itsy-bitsy spider..."

A deep, raspy voice echoed, making the hero in red and blue suit flinch, his heart stopping for a second. He tried to find the source of the sound, but it was echoing from everywhere.

Suddenly, the sound of metal claws scratching across the brick wall pierced through his ears, making the hair on his body raise up and his body shook.

"Climbed up the water spout..." the hot breath hit the side of Peter's face as villain whispered in his ear. The boy quickly turned around and threw a punch, but he hit nothing but thin air. "Down came the rain..." the voice didn't echo this time but it was creepily quiet, making shudders go down the boy's spine. It meant the villain was closer.

In a matter of a blink of the eye, someone grabbed the hero by the throat, slamming him against the hard wall. The pain shot up in his back and head like thunder and he cried out, suddenly feeling dizzy.

He was holding his hand covered in metal glove around hero's throat, his metal claws sinking in his skin and making Peter whine. His eyes burned as they watered, he could feel blood soaking his suit. His lip was badly bruised and there was a serious wound sliced across his cheekbone.

"And washed the spider..." The Green Goblin said lowly in raspy but deep voice, looking at the hero's white googles with deadly eyes. The teenager never got chance to see them up-close, but the villain's eyes were yellow with little red and they were slender, like the predator's. The claws sunk deeper as the last word followed out of the Green Goblin's mouth. "...Out."

Peter's eyes opened wide awake as his whole body violently flinched, making him sit up in the bath and the water splashed around. His hands grabbed the edge of his bathtub, his fingers gripping at it so tightly they turned white. His breath was heavy and raspy and his heart was beating in his throat. The gasps were coming out of his mouth at the speed of light, and the poor boy felt his eyes water. He tried to calm himself down by taking deep breaths, but the panic was still blowing up inside his body.

He heard a knock on the door. "Peter, are you okay?" Aunt May asked worriedly, her voice muffled.

The boy didn't answer immediately since he knew if he did his aunt will obviously notice something was wrong, so he inhaled few more times before replying. "Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"If you say so." She said but her voice sounded unsure. "Call me if you need anything—" And in that moment, Peter broke down. He sobbed loudly and buried his face in his palms as his shoulder shook. The tears streamed down his face and his throat felt tight. "Petey what's wrong?" His aunt asked in soft voice. "Can I come in?"

"No." He gasped out. He rarely cried because he would feel weak if he did so. In that moment, he couldn't care less about his strength. He felt like he already lost. He felt like he was about to die, and it scared him. "I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"The Green Goblin... of not being able to stop him." He sobbed as he said in muffled voice. "Of dying."

May became awfully quiet after that for a few seconds, and Peter could sense she was sad and concerned about him. He quickly tried to collect his shit together and wiped away the tears, raising his head up high as he got out of the bath and quickly dried himself off. His nose was still runny and his cheeks burnt but he ignored it. He really tried not to cry even more. He would be angry if he did.

"Pete, you are the strongest little guy out there." She spoke up slowly again. "I know you are much more stronger and smarter than that guy, you just got to believe in yourself more. Your failed attempts at beating him do not mean that there is no way to stop him or that you are the weaker one. Nothing can go smoothly in just one try. If you want to be a winner, you gotta spill some blood." She explained as Peter dressed up in his pyjamas. "And you will be the winner."

After that, they both rested in the living room on the couch under the soft blanket while watching TV, Peter's head lying on May's shoulder. His eyes were puffy from crying and he looked like he caught a cold. The Office was playing on the TV as they ate popcorns... but of course, Peter had to go back to his duty. May watched as he sadly put on his suit, and it pained her to see the wounds all around his body specially since he was probably about to get even more of them.

"Good luck, sweetheart." She said once when he fully suited himself up and kissed his forehead covered in mask. "Be careful."

"I will."

Luckily for him, there was no the Green Goblin that night but a bank robbery he managed to stop, but even after he caught the criminals and wrapped them in his webs, he didn't feel much better. His neck still burnt in pain even though the wound was from the day before, as if was fresh.

He was standing there in the bank with arms crossed and head held high as the sounds of sirens got closer and louder, the red and blue lights flashing. The police didn't really like the vigilante in spandex at first, but then he stopped a literal plane robbery and everyone memorised him as a graceful and fearless hero. What was totally not the truth but, whatever.

Sure he was some kind of vigilante or a good guy, but he definitely wasn't a hero. People like Tony Stark and Steve Rogers were heroes, because they actually did manage to save the whole world couple of times. They deserved to be unforgettable since they stopped the entire army of aliens in no time, yet Spider-Man couldn't capture a single green skinned maniac for months already. It annoyed him.

He continued to swing through the streets, looking for any kind of source of danger, but it seemed like there was none. It was around 3 a.m., but since the winter break wasn't over yet, Peter didn't have to worry about getting at least five (since there was no way he could get eight) hours of sleep.

He wondered if Bambi was still awake.

It was so annoying and desperate since the boy literally said hours ago he wouldn't visit her again as masked hero, but he felt so shitty and tired of everything and he didn't want to bother Ned since the boy was not anything close to a night owl and he definitely didn't want to go home yet and take off his suit when there could still be potential danger.

He fought with his thoughts, trying to pin point why visiting Bambi Moody of all people wasn't good idea:

a) Let her have her beauty sleep-

The thing that apparently girls have?? He wasn't sure. Even if she didn't get her beauty sleep Peter was pretty positive she would still look gorgeous the next day.

b) he is being too suspicious and she might find out who he is.

Those were the cons of this case and they both were pretty logical. But what Peter Parker had to do? Not listen to his head, as always. It wasn't even surprising anymore when he took a  huge turn and pushed aside all of those little voices in his head that said 'IDIOT!! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING SHEBUSHSHS'.

But no matter how those thoughts loud were, nothing could stop Spider-Man flying through the air in amazing speed while cold wind blew against his skin covered in suit.

And nothing could stop a sharp razor bat that perfectly hit him right in his thigh, making him cry out and loose the grip on his web, and he fell to the hard and cold ground.

I know this chapter is pretty short and I'm so sorry about that, but I promise I will make it up to you in the next one :)

Thank you all for reading my story and voting! I know the number of reads and votes is little but it means so much to me!