Mary Jane Watson didn't talk about her feelings a lot.

No one really knew the reason why, but the girl was always keeping her problems reserved only and just for herself. She rarely shared them or asked for help. To be completely honest, Bambi wasn't sure if the girl ever cried in front of them.

It was sometimes a bit worrying because it looked like Mary Jane didn't trust her friends, but Bambi knew otherwise.

She has seen gross paragraphs about best friends so many times that said something in the style of: 'If we're best friends, we HAVE TO tell each-other everything and ANYTHING all the time, or we're not best friends'. What a piece of bullshit.

Some people needed time to open up. Some people never don't even get the need to do so. No matter how close you are with your friend or how long you two have been friends, they do not have to tell you everything. It may sound harsh, but it isn't really. There are some people who will spill the darkest parts of their minds to a person they just met, and some people simply didn' want to bother their friends with it.

Yes, in reality it is good to open up to people but if they do not, it doesn't mean it's about you or that they do not trust you- they just learned to be like that.

In this case, Mary Jane hated to bother people about things that were bothering her, because those were her problems, her weight to carry. Yeah, maybe by telling other people she could get some pretty good advices but if she talked about her problems the person would have to carry on with that shit as well, and she didn't want them to. If she was hurting pretty bad, of course she would tell her friends, but when she can carry on with the problem with little difficulties, she doesn't bother to tell anyone.

That is, until that evening they went to the pastry shop.

The redhead insisted to go walk Bambi all the way home, and the entire walk, she seemed like she swallowed a frog. It was obvious she wanted to tell her friend something so bad. She was fidgeting with her arms and she was looking anywhere but the brunette next to her. She was walking fast, breathing fast, swallowing down every ten seconds like she was fighting with her own self.

And then she stood there in front of her doors, saying her goodbye.

"Do you need to tell me anything?" Bambi asked as she stood there, her hand resting on the door knob. The night was slowly falling.

"No." Mary Jane quickly replied; perhaps too quickly before swallowing down nervously, her eyes wide.

"Ya sure?"

"Yep."

For someone who acts entire life and has a huge career in front of her, she for sure didn't have a clue about lying to her best friends.

"Well, okay. Bye Mary Jane." The girl shrugged before flashing a little sympathetic smile before gently closing the doors while waving.

When the doors were filly closed, she exhaled and with straight face just stood there for few more minutes, staring at the door.

Not even a minute later, there were furious several knocks as if someone wanted the girl to go deaf, and she opened the door instantly with a raised brow and smug look on her face.

The short girl was looking at her breathlessly.

"I do need to tell you something."

"No shit." She smiled proudly of herself before stepping aside so her friend could enter her home.

They went upstairs to Bambi's room, and the redhead was quiet again. It was like she was trying to form a sentence but nothing came out of those usually talkative mouth of hers at first. She sat there uncomfortably at the brunette's soft bed as he palms were sweaty.

"Are you pregnant?"

"What? No!"

"Thank god."

"I just find it hard to talk about things like this." Mary Jane admitted as she finally allowed her eyes to meet Bambi's brown ones, and she visibly relaxed. Her shoulders slumped down in defeat and her leg stopped bouncing. "Something's wrong with me."

"How so?"

"It's like... you know I like Harry and everything—" the girl began slowly but was cut off by a huge grin that broke out on her friend's lips.

"You two are like already married." Bambi grinned as the girl beside her rolled her bright eyes, making her laugh a little. "Sorry continue."

"I think I'm afraid of my own feelings." The redhead's statement made Bambi's jaw snap shut and her eyes look down, taking it seriously. This girl was terrible at giving some actual useful advice when it comes to— ew, feelings, but again, she could at least show she supported her friend. "It's like... I would even say I love him. I know he makes me happy and I'm aware that I talk about how sweet and amazing he is every day... and I genuinely feel so good around him, like we fit together perfectly..." The Watson girl swallowed down and bit her bottom lip for a moment before quickly fixing her dull posture. "And such big part of me wants to be with him..." she trailed off when her voice cracked at the end.

Just then Bambi Moody realised how important Harry Osborn was to this girl, because when she said those words it was so honest, so full of love, so caring.

Mary Jane had a hard time showing affection and trust, yet there she was, admitting how much that silly boy meant to her.

"But everything is always good when it's just me who has huge crush on him, right? Because then I realised he likes me back and he would flirt and do some things that were so obvious and I would honestly get so scared that I thought I would vomit." She took a break so she could inhale properly. It pained the brunette to see one of her best friends like this, and it suddenly became so obvious why Mary Jane hated telling people about her problems. She tried not to show pity towards her but more reassurance as she put a hand on her leg and squeezed it in comforting way. "I don't even know what I'm afraid of. And he was staring at me intensely so many times and I knew he wanted to kiss me but instead of me feeling happy about it like I usually would and rush to kiss him, I literally try to look anywhere but him because I am so terrified of it. I have never in my life been in actual relationship despite people thinking I am hoeing around and had at least five exes- hell, I have never even kissed anyone."

"Me neither, but that's nothing to be ashamed of. Some people just don't like to rush it and if you don't feel like you should do it, then don't."

"Yeah but this is Harry. Harry Osborn whom I love, and every time that chance for a kiss goes away I regret not kissing him in that moment, because I want to so badly, but man I'm petrified." The girl looked even ashamed of the things she said. Something unfamiliar to Bambi crossed the redhead's blue eyes, something that she rarely let out.

"Maybe deep down you're afraid of being hurt?" Her friend tried to help her mostly because she knew that feeling. She told Mason so many times she didn't want to rush things because once when people are in relationship, there's only two things that could come after: end or marriage. She knew examples of people falling in love at 16 and after ten years of dating  they would get married, but those were extremely rare cases. In most of them, teenagers break up pretty fast or would end the thing they had for each-other after two years of dating and everything in those two years just disappears like it wasn't there.

That's what scared her too, because someone in the end will always get hurt (except the case when both of partners realise they should break-up).

"Not just that. I'm afraid that I will do something wrong when I kiss him, I'm afraid of commitment and dedication because relationships are such big obligations—"

"Relationships should not be an obligation, Mary Jane, and you don't have to rush anything with Harry, I am sure he will understand." Bambi cut the redhead off before she could continue, knowing where sentences like that lead to. "It's okay to be afraid of new things- you have never been in a relationship before. It's like when you're going on a trip in foreign country all alone, of course you'd be scared and nervous... but what's the worst that could happen? You realising he is not the one for you? Breaking up? I'm sure that's not the worst thing that could happen to anyone. Yes, maybe it will hurt as hell but later on you will laugh about it. Sometimes it's good to try new things, I guess."

"Why don't you take your own advice?" Mary Jane asked quietly in sad voice. The question itself made the other girl feel like she got a punch in her stomach... because she never realised it.

"What do you mean?" She asked confusedly.

"I mean, why don't you wanna try with Peter?"

What?

"What?"

"I don't know, you guys kinda fit together and—"

"I am not confused about part with Peter." Bambi sharply cut the redhead off as she began to frown. "I don't get why would I want to try anything with anyone at the moment."

Okay, she maybe did sound like a bitch in that moment, but in her defence she always gets mad when somebody is pushing her to try something with anyone. Not as if they were in that exact situation at the time but the girl didn't realise Mary Jane just asked a simple question and wasn't actually forcing her to do anything.

"Jesus, why don't you guys kiss already?" Kai asked drunkenly as he playfully rolled his bright blue eyes. They were on a party few months ago just at the beginning of the school year. I know what you think, what kind of 16 year old is drinking so much as Bambi and Mason, but believe me, they did not do it only out of fun.

The mentioned two were standing super close to each-other. The black haired boy had his arm around the brunette's shoulders and they were both swaying in the same direction while giggling about some nonsense.

"Why?" Bambi laughed as she tried to avoid the other boy's eyes. The topic of them two never kissing would come pretty often when they were hanging out with Kai. The girl just never really grew a pair to press her lips against Mason's, because the fear would swallow her whole. It's not as if the kiss would be a big deal for them, since the boy meant so much to her the kiss wouldn't even be something new and revolutionary. It would be just the two of them kissing.

"I don't know, it's like weird because you guys are pretty much in a relationship already." The other boy explained. He was stretching the words that came out of his mouth a lot and he sounded out of the world.

That was not true, because the pair never really made it official, and they both didn't know why. Well, to be precise, Bambi Moody didn't know why, and she also wasn't aware that Mason was... pretty sure why the two weren't together.

Back in that time, she thought it was because he was like her- afraid of emotions deep like that. He was afraid though, but of something else.

"Does it matter that much?"

"Maybe? I mean just kiss each-other already for god's sake."

"If I'm gonna kiss Mason Carter, I will do that when I'm not drunk."

She never did.

"I— I mean... maybe it would help with moving on..." Mary Jane stuttered, clearly taken back by her friend's outburst. Bambi almost felt sorry for it, but just now she was even more pissed.

"That wouldn't be fair to Peter. He is not some kind of... rebound. I would never get with him just to get over somebody—" she paused. "—who in fact, wasn't only some kind of... lover to me. I lost my best friend. Person who was home to me. I can't move on from that just by dating someone else—

"I don't get why you get so defensive over him! Isn't that he never really loved you anyways?" The redhead snapped as her voice raised, but as sudden as it appeared, it was gone. Her expression fell as the last sentence like venom dripped from her tongue, and she closed her mouth once when she saw unreadable look on her best friend's face.

"Harry told you—"

"Bambi, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to—"

"You don't fucking get it MJ. This is not ex boyfriend situation this is about death and grieving the dead ones." She was talking too fast and she wasn't even sitting down anymore but walking to towards the door of her room before widely opening it. "Maybe I was supposed to find new grandparents so I can get over those deaths too. Does that work like that to you? By the things you said right now it looks like it." She stopped before looking straight at Mary Jane who was now crying, and it made the brunette freeze in her tracks, but not for too long. She never really saw her crying.

"I'm sorry..." the redhead quietly said as warm tears silently streamed down her face. "I—"

"Please get out." Bambi whispered before she bit her bottom lip and balled her fists, her fingernails digging into her palm. "We will talk about this some other day. I need to calm down."

Her friend just nodded and without saying any word, she left the room and went downstairs all the way to the front door. "I love you." She called out after taking a big breath and then she opened the front door.

"I love you too."

If there was something that Bambi learned after Carter's death, it was to always say those words at the end of conversation with a person you truly love. Right now, she was mad at her best friend but she still loved her deeply, and would never forgive herself if one of her last words that were spoken to Mary Jane were 'get out.'

Her heart was beating in a painfully fast way as she watched her redhead friend leave, and she could feel herself swallow down. She hated arguments with people she cared about, it felt like each time she had those, she and her friend would grow apart a little. She hoped things wouldn't be awkward now because of her. It was her fault she got so easily pissed like that.

She felt her eyes burn even more as she got back into her room.

This was not happening.

"Fuck!" She whisper-yelled as she grabbed her hair in frustration and paced through the room.

Every cell in her body wanted to dash out of that goddamn room and apologise to the girl, hug her, kiss her cheek, say that everything is fine and that she is sorry for overreacting that much, but her mind had different plans. Her head hurt because she was trying so hard to do what she wanted but the other part of her mind was yelling harsh words towards her.

"Shit!" She cursed again as she grabbed the nearest thing and threw it in the wall hardest she could. Her mind was spinning and she felt like screaming out loud, or vomiting. She grabbed another thing and threw it in the opposite direction, and it slammed against something with a loud tud.

"Ow! Jesus."

Bambi's eyes widened and she quickly spun on her heel. There he was, Spider-Man, entering her room through the window, and down on the floor next to him was a red apple. She couldn't help but cringe at the fact she literally threw a fucking apple at the famous superhero.

"Ohmygod I'm so sorry!" Her voice cracked as she quickly tried to compose herself since she was on the edge of tears just few seconds ago. She opened her mouth to say another lame excuses of hers when her eyes landed on the deep wound on the hero's stomach, and she felt like vomiting even more. There was a big one full of blood and looked pretty deep across the side of his stomach and another wound on his tight, smaller but pretty deep too. "Jesus." She breathed out before rushing towards the anonymous person, helping him to get safely in her room. "What happened?"

"Um... I—" he tried to explain but was cut off by his own wince of pain making the girl's stomach twists.

"I will— wait a second I will get everything we need—" she stumbled across her words. You— put a pressure on your wounds—" she quickly dashed out of her room straight into the bathroom, inhaling and exhaling repeatedly and sharply. She learnt how to deal with wounds because she went to first aid training and whatnot, but she never really got (thank god) opportunity to stitch someone's wounds until that moment. She rushed back into the room, almost falling over the carpet as she did so. "Should I call the ambulance? Maybe we should go to the hospital—"

"No, not hospital." He quickly shook that idea off and his white goggles closed on few second tiredly. "I'm so sorry for this— I have nowhere else to go."

"No, it's okay." Bambi exhaled as she got closer to the vigilante and kneeled next to him. "Um, I think you'll have to take your suit off- don't worry! You don't need to take your mask off."

Spider-Man nodded before clicking a little spider button on his chest, and the suit suddenly loosened up from his body and he shook it off, revealing his muscular body. It was no wonder he was so ripped, he was able to  lift a car after all, but the girl couldn't help but stare a little before reminding herself what her mission was. Then her eyes landed on his Captian-America themed boxers, and even though the situation was serious, she couldn't help but let out a loud snort, receiving a very annoyed gaze from a superhero.

"Sorry, it's just—" she chucked again before trying not to laugh again.

"We'll discuss that later." He winced through his low chuckle, obviously slightly amused too.

"Yeah okay okay." Her gaze then went down on his stomach, and she had to look away for a short moment. "Jesus." She breathed out. It wasn't a too deep wound but he would definitely need stitches. "This will hurt like a bitch." She warned as she slowly began to clean up his wound with alcohol, and the hero beside her hissed in pain. "Sorry—"

"No, continue."

She nodded at that. "The Green Goblin?"

"Yep."

"You said you don't have anywhere else to go." She pointed out when she moved on to the next wound and made the hero let out a low hiss of pain again. "How come? What about your family?"

"They would loose their minds out of worry. I can't do that to them." He said quietly as if he was feeling guilty and bowed his head.

"I am worried right now too."

"You are?" He sounded surprised.

"Of course. Even though I do not know your identity, I do consider you a friend, and I care about my friends." At that sentence, guilt washed over her as she remembered what she did to her friend minutes ago. Mary Jane only cared about her and didn't fully understand how she was feeling, and Bambi totally went nuts.

"What happened?"

"What?"

"You look sad." He pointed out and shrugged as if it was obvious.

For a few seconds, the brunette was thinking if she should tell him or not. As she said moments ago, she did consider him a friend and she kind of trusted him. So what was there to lose? Another friend?

"I had an argument with my best friend just few minutes before you came."

"Oh."

At that, she inhaled sharply and closed her eyes on a second before picking up the needle. "You will need stitches on your leg." She warned.

"That's fantastic." He chimed sarcastically and shoved his head into his palms in frustration. "Why did you two fight?"

Usually Bambi Moody wasn't that type of person to share... personal things to someone not involved in her personal life, but she knew the guy was probably in big pain and tried to distract himself by talking to her. Besides, maybe a two hour long talk would be good for her. "It's a long story."

"Well since we're in this situation, my best guess would be I'm not going anywhere for a while now." He attempted to joke, making both of them chuckle a little. Bambi hesitantly picked up a sharp but small needle in her hands, and she could feel the nervousness rising up inside her even more. Spider-Man noticed. "Don't worry, it probably won't hurt that mu— ow!" His sentence was cut off by a loud yelp of pain and Bambi flinched away from his leg quickly with wide eyes, afraid that she hurt the boy badly. Her concern was washed away once when the masked hero began to laugh.

"You idiot! You really scared the shit out of me!

"Sorry sorry, it does not hurt that much at all, don't worry."

Bambi rolled her eyes in annoyance as she tried not to chuckle too. She actually really enjoyed his presence, and that's probably why she had the need to open up to him, to tell him everything. "I've been going through some shit lately." She admitted, her voice becoming serious all of the sudden. "My best friend died... well, he wasn't just a best friend to me, we kind of had this thing but weren't officially together. It sounds stupid, buy yeah." There was a massive chance the hero knew that part already. There was such a big possibility he knew about her as... his other self. Maybe they went to the same school as well.

"Oh. I am really sorry, I know that doesn't really help... I lost people in my life too."

"Being superhero does that, huh?"

"Yeah. You can't save everyone. That's what I learned."

The girl just nodded at that. It was sad. He was battling villains and putting his life at the risk all the time, and with that he probably endangered the lives of his family too. "Anyways... one of my best friends tried to help me out... gave me rather shitty advice. I overreacted and treated her like shit." She laughed bitterly at herself. "It's just I've been mad and angry for so long now, I couldn't even stop hurting the people I love. It's not her fault she doesn't understand the situation and how grieving works for me..."

"I'm sure you guys will figure it out. She's your best friend- she knows it's hard for you, she will understand. Yeah, she may gave a hurtful and shitty advice and you may overreacted a little bit, but that won't tear you two apart, all you need is to talk things out."

"You think so? That she will forgive me?"

"Of course. You seem like a person who wouldn't deliberately hurt someone." He shrugged, and then the silence followed after. But it wasn't uncomfortable, nor awkward. It was nice even though the brunette was literally stitching up the wound. "You paint?"

"What?" She asked in confusion as she looked up at the hero that was staring at something behind them. She followed his gaze and her eyes landed on the part of her wall that was filled with pictures and drawings above the table. She loved to print out the pictures that meant something for her, and she also loved to paint things such as flowers, nature, sky and parts of the human body. She didn't consider herself too good at it, but it made her relaxed. "Oh. Sometimes."

Spider-Man just hummed and went silent for a few moments, but not for too long. "I love it. You are really talented." The girl was wrapping his torso in a white bondage at that moment, smiling to herself as her hands gently and carefully ran over his bare skin.

"I wouldn't call it talent, but alright." She gave a genuine smile as she took a step back from the guy's body to admire her work. It wasn't perfect, but it was something.

"Paint me." He said suddenly.

"What?"

"What I said." She had a feeling the hero was grinning behind his mask. People usually don't ask her to paint them, and she didn't ask then to model for her since the girl couldn't imagine making someone stay still for at least an hour.

"You are in your Captain America boxers with just mask on." She deadpanned.

"So? That would be iconic!"

"And you're okay with that? To pose in your... boxers?"

"If Rose from Titanic could pose naked, I can do this too."

"Alright." The corners of her lips tugged upwards as she stood up and went to the other side of her room to find her notebook for drawing. "I'm just gonna do a sketch of you."

"Sounds great!" He gushed excitedly as he lied down on the side of his body on the floor and put his head in his palm.

"Don't say it—"

"Bambi, paint me like one of your french girls."

"Jesus Christ."

It was a nice feeling, even though the hero was literally posing in his boxers, but it didn't matter. Talking to someone who didn't treat her like fragile weakling made her feel normal. Deep down she felt as if the person knew about it, how else would he know her name if he didn't know her personally without the red and blue spandex on?

She gently pressed the pencil against the paper and locked the eyes with still unknown person. They were strangers, yet they weren't. She didn't know a single thing about him. Her knowledge was pretty much same as someone's who is his huge fan: zero.

And she didn't mind it. He was a good person, she knew it, and so did everyone else. She didn't need to know who he was under that red mask, that would be selfish from her.

She softly drew his shape as she scratched the point of her pencil against the paper. The enjoyable silence was cut off once when Alpha entered the room, dashing towards the hero as the sound of his paws hitting the floor filled the room.

The puppy was all over Spider-Man in no time with no surprise, really. That was something else it was impossible to ignore: Alpha was good with the guy and he was rarely good with anyone except few people. It could be a coincidence and he could just happen to like the masked hero.

The other options were that Spider-Man was either her mom or dad (and it was absolute no way since Bambi isn't that stupid to not recognise her own father), Mary Jane (it was slightly impossible since Spider-Man is... a guy. And she had voice and a sight in front of her to prove it).

The only person that was left was Peter Parker.

Bambi didn't want to invade the masked guy's privacy. It would be wrong and selfish trying to find out who he really is, doing a research, theories and stuff like that. Well, it wasn't exactly wrong, because there were too many people in this world trying to figure it out too, but she felt as if it would completely destroy the hero's trust in her.

She couldn't imagine Peter Parker being Spider-Man. It was a really good theory, but she didn't have enough proofs to prove it, so she just enjoyed the moment.

"What's it like being Spider-Man?" She decided to ask.

"Tiring, really." The hero sighed. "Honestly there are many times when I just want to quit. To leave all of this behind, give the responsibility to someone else."

"I get it. I can't imagine how much pressure you have on your shoulders every day." Bambi hummed as she drew the lines of his abdomen. Her eyes drifted to his head again, only to catch him already looking at her. Or at least she thought he looked in that direction, it was pretty hard to figure that out since his eyes for the mask were fully white. "What's the matter?"

"I just hope I'm not bringing you in any kind of danger by visit you," he said truthfully, and the girl could sense sadness in his voice.

"You're not, don't worry." Her mouth stretched into a smile. "Why you're visiting me in the first place? What makes you go back to me, anyways? I'm not that special."

He looked deep in a thought at that. The silence made Bambi nervous, specially since she was drawing his nicely built chest in that moment.

"I guess sometimes I need someone who... doesn't see just Spider-Man in me."

And it was the truth. Bambi never overreacted or pleaded for a selfie with him, she never thought she was special because the famous hero was visiting her, she never thought she was above others for it. Any girl would kill to be in her place, but she never really saw a big deal in all of that. All she saw was a friend. A person who was lonely just as she was.

"I guess I need that too. I get lonely sometimes." She admitted. "I don't see just Spider-Man in front of me. I see a caring person and a very good friend, and you don't see a fragile girl with tragic love story that needs saving, and I'm grateful for that."

He nodded kind of dreamily at that.

"You know, I'm really glad you visit me." She smiled.

"I'm just worried I'm putting a huge burden on you."

"You're not." She shook her head. "There's already a huge burden on my shoulders, I doubt anything could make it worse."

"Do you feel guilty about your friend's death?" His voice was soft. Not full of pity, it was just soft, so gentle and caring.

"Of course I do." The pencil stopped moving against the paper. "I feel guilty because maybe I could have done something. He didn't just die, he committed suicide. He was depressed before that, and I knew it. Maybe if I reacted sooner, if I told his mom, his friends... if I spoke to him about it... if I offered help... anything."

"It's not your fault. Believe me, I felt the same when my... one of my family died. He went out looking after me, and I wasn't there to protect him." He sat up, obviously not feeling cheeky anymore after stumbling in this deep conversation. "I still think it's my fault."

She wanted to tell him something to make him feel better, but the truth was, she felt the same way and didn't know how to fix that feeling. Maybe one day she would accept the things as they are, and stop the burning feeling of guilt.

But still, she would always wonder what if. What if she reacted sooner? What if she had told Mason's mom? Would things be different now?

There was a moment of silence again as the sudden thought of Mrs. Chloe appeared in her head. She was supposed to visit her one day, but her parents didn't think it wad a good idea, nor did her friends.

"Have you ever travelled alone to some place? I mean, you can go anywhere swinging fast like that, no?"

"Yeah, once. I travel pretty fast." He nodded.

"Can you do me favour?"