"Why did you run away?" Levi asked me and I sighed.

"I was getting annoyed with you guys always questioning me where I was running off to. You guys were just getting me mad and I felt like I couldn't even have time to myself because you guys would always question me where I was at that exact moment, or where I ran off to. I ran away because I had enough of it, but I knew that you guys were just worrying about why I was acting different. Now that I know that I have PTSD, I would use that as an excuse, but it's not. I may not have had full control of my anger, but I should've at least tried to hold myself back from lashing out on you guys." I rubbed my head.

"Why didn't you tell us how you felt, then?" Benji asked me and I scoffed, looking up at him.

"What do you mean? I literally told you guys many times that I was getting fucking annoyed that you guys wouldn't give me my personal space. I told all of you guys about it, but you would still ask me where I was." I squeezed my hands and breathed, calming myself down. It was silent for a few minutes and I groaned. "So are we gonna keep talking, or not? You guys are just wasting my time-"

"We're wasting your time?" Enzo laughed dryly and glared at me, "We wasted our own time looking for you and trying to track you down to bring you back home after weeks of you not coming back, but it seems that you were too busy having fun with your friends getting high and wasted. You have no idea how the first few fucking days were like, how the first few weeks were like. It was hell.

"We kept asking ourselves if you just gave up and decided to move on from us without saying a goodbye, at least. I thought that you didn't love us anymore because we kept questioning you, so you moved away to find better people who would worry less about you and would not ask you where you were at all. You know how many times all of us broke down, thinking that maybe you didn't even run away, but you were dead or someone took you away? So fucking many, Xavier, that I stopped counting."

Enzo sighed and rubbed his face. "I don't even know what else to say. I'm not even sure if you love us anymore, or if you even want to be with us. I don't even know if those are your friends out there or if they're your new lovers that you replaced us with."

"They're just friends..." I looked down, "Cameron, Hunter, and Evan are just friends. I had sex with them a handful of times, but there was no love in it. It was just a friends with benefits thing, I promise I don't love them. Maybe just as friends, but not as lovers."

I fidgeted with my hands and breathed in. "You know, when I was gone for the first days, I instantly regretted running away. I wanted to come back, but I was too afraid to see your reactions after I was gone for a few days. I knew that you guys were upset, but I didn't want to come back because I was scared that you guys would break up with me and leave me and that would mentally and physically break me, so I stayed away so that I wouldn't have to hear you guys saying that you were leaving me."

"Now that I think about it, it would've been better if I had come home because I wouldn't have been hurting you after months of being gone. I should've just come home and told you guys why I did what I did. Um, after I ran away, I drove to Las Vegas. I snuck into a bar and stole a few drinks, and that's where I met Cameron. I took him to my hotel, but we didn't do anything and instead fell asleep. The next day, we had sex and he left after giving me his number. I called him the next day and we just talked for a long time. I got closer to him and he ended up asking me if I wanted to smoke weed, so I tried it, and it made me feel a lot better. After not being able to get you guys out of my head, I was finally able to make all my worries and thoughts go away with that.

"I started smoking more and more to the point that it was everyday, and if not, every other day. Cam would also buy me alcohol, so that's when I started drinking, too. I pretty much was originally using him for that and weed, but we kept talking and I really liked him as a friend. He then introduced me to Hunter and Evan, his best friends, and we would go out to smoke and drink, and sometimes I would have sex with them. I liked hanging out with them because it made me forget about you guys, since all the times that I was sober, I had so much guilt eating at me that I would get so mad at myself. I had realized how fucking stupid I was for getting mad about you guys questioning me, but I was again, too scared to come back. I'm such a coward for not wanting to talk with you guys and tell you how I was and still am feeling.

"Um, when Amir got called to the hospital almost three weeks ago, I was stabbed and shot. Cameron, Hunter, Evan, and I were out on a field drinking, and I heard voices. These six men had come up to us and told us that we were on private property, then tried attacking us, but I fought them off and ended up killing all six of them. They drove me to the hospital and I was taken in. Then, when I woke up, Amir and Enzo walked in and that's when I had an anxiety attack. I freaked out because I didn't want to talk to any of you about...all of this or even want to see you. I was scared. The doctor did some tests on me and told me that I had PTSD and it all finally made sense.

"I was getting agitated easily, would get in bad moods easily, had flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, etcetera. I told the doctor what I was seeing, and he told me that it was because of me thinking that Alvaro and Felix died in that first accident years ago, and me seeing what I thought would be my last moments alive in the second accident months ago. It all just clicked together, and now I knew why I was acting like this. I'm not using it as an excuse, though. I should've came up to all of you and talked about how I was feeling, then maybe I could've gotten checked out and I would've been diagnosed earlier. Maybe none of this would've ever happened, but it did and I'm so fucking sorry for putting all of you through this shit. I made you guys suffer, but I was too busy being selfish that I didn't notice that I was just hurting you guys more and more everyday."

I wiped my face, "I know that you guys are disappointed in me since I'm usually a leader and I should be smart enough to not leave without an explanation, but I couldn't help it. I left because I was only thinking about myself, and I didn't come back because I was too selfish thinking about my own feelings and heart breaking if you guys left me that I didn't even think about you guys. I'm just selfish."

I looked up at all of them, "When I first met you guys, I wasn't sure if this relationship would last since there's multiple people included, but I ended up falling in love with all of you. I really did love you guys so I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt any if you, but look where we're at right now. I ended up hurting you guys in the end, anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if you just left me right now after all that I've put you guys through. Enzo, you're right. You wasted your own time looking for me when I was too busy getting high and drinking, not even thinking about you guys. I don't expect any of you to forgive me, but I really am sorry.

"A part of me wants you guys to leave me, because it's what I deserve after putting you guys through all this shit, but at the same time, the selfish part of me wants all of you guys to stay or else I wouldn't know what to do. I'm s-sorry for hurting you guys, and I promise...I will never do it again. I'm sorry that I left you guys without an explanation and I made you think that I didn't love you anymore. I-I did love you and...I still do l-love you guys so fucking much. I'm so s-sorry and I don't deserve any of the love that you guys have left for me, if you do. I hope you guys don't forgive me, because I know I never will be able to."

I put my head down and covered my face as I cried. I felt like I did last night. Overwhelmed with emotions of anger, sadness, and hurt. Anger, because I'm mad at myself, and sad because I realize that I hurt them. And hurt because I hurt myself by hurting the loves of my life. I fucking hated myself for everything that I did these past five months. I hate every single second that I breathed these past months, but I didn't know what to do.

"It's ok, Xavier."

I stopped and looked up at Dom. "N-No, it's not. You guys shouldn't forgive me, you c-can't after what I did to you guys. Please...d-don't forgive me, it's not fair that I-I did this to you and get forgiven so easily."

"We forgive you, Xavier, but it's gonna take time to go back to how we were before." Kian said and I nodded.

"But you guys still shouldn't forgive me. It's my fault-"

"Not all of it is your fault, Xavier. You couldn't help yourself because you were suffering and you didn't know it. You couldn't control your emotions, but you'll learn how to." Benji said and I sighed.

"You should've just left me. It's what I deserve after all that I've done to you guys."

"Do you want us to leave?" Milo asked and I looked at him.

"No, but it's what-"

"Then we won't leave. Yeah, you may not deserve us, but we're choosing to stay with you because we still love you and you still love us. You cheated on us, and we can't describe how hurt we feel, but we're giving you one more chance and that's it." Milo sternly said.

I nodded, "Um, how is this gonna work? How will we go back to...'normal?'"

Dom cleared his throat, "First, this is going to be sort of a punishment for you. We want you to move back in, but you're going to sleep in one of the guest rooms by yourself so that you can think all about how much you made us go through these past months. Levi, Enzo, Kai, nor Milo will be calling you 'Master' until they feel like they can start calling you that. Same thing goes with Quincy. You will stop drinking starting today, but the smoking, you'll slow down with it. We won't make you stop, but you're not allowed to smoke every single day. Only three times a week at most, but then we'll make you stop once we see that you're actually getting better."

"Wait, why the-" I stopped and took a deep breath in when I saw Rami raise his brow at me, "Sorry, I just...never mind."

"What time have you been waking up at?" Benji asked.

"Usually around eleven, but sometimes I'd just sleep in till two in the afternoon. I'd also sleep whenever I just felt like it, which was like at five or six in the morning."

Yeah, my sleeping schedule changed a lot especially since I started hanging out with Cameron, Hunter, and Evan, but I'm not blaming it on them. It was my choice to sleep late and wake up late.

"You'll be going to bed at ten and you'll wake up at eight in the morning. Dom, one of the others, or I will be checking on you to make sure that you're asleep and awake by eight. We're taking your car keys away at night so that you don't disappear on us again. For a bit of time, you won't be allowed to give us any type of affection unless we initiate it first, but we'll tell you when you can start on your own. Things will slowly go back to as normal as it can be, but who knows, maybe some things will change in the future with our relationship." Benji explained.

"We also want you to stop doing intimate things with your friends. The kissing and everything will stop today, but we'll still allowing you to hangout with them as long as it's not in the middle of the night, that way, you won't do anything stupid. If they're going out to drink, we won't let you go with them. And yes, they'll have to ask for permission from us. You're pretty much in our control until we trust you enough to make your own decisions again." Rami said, then rubbed his face with a tired sigh.

They all looked like they've barely had any sleep these past few months and that just added more to my guilt. They seemed slimmer too, especially Kai and Quincy, who haven't said anything to me yet. I just wanted to hold them, but I knew I couldn't so I looked away.

"Am I still going to school? I wouldn't be surprised if you guys took me out or the school dropped me."

Levi nodded, "Yes, you're still going to school. We told them that you had a bad accident. They allowed you time off, but as long as you catch up on schoolwork when your teachers give you all your missing work, you'll be able to graduate this year."

I sighed and sat back on the chair. I thought the guys would've taken me out of school after I missed five months of it. I'm thinking about dropping out myself, but I still wanted to prove to myself that I could graduate high school.

"Will I start next week?" It was Thursday today.

"Yeah." I heard Levi say.

I closed my eyes and took steady breaths. "I have therapy starting next week to help my PTSD. I have to go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at four in the afternoon. I'm taking medication right now to help with some of the symptoms, but since I ended up here this morning, I haven't taken it."

I opened my eyes and watched Dom nod. "I'll take you to the hotel so you can get your things. After, Amir, Manuel, Gio, Marco, and Eddie will come over so that you can tell them what you told us. You'll explain why you did what you did and they'll tell you their own rules of how they'll deal with you."

"What about my friends?"

Kian scoffed, "What about them? I'm sure they'll understand that you have rules now and that you'll be coming back home."

"Yeah, but...they have nowhere to go. I wanted them to come with me because they're my friends so they're moving out here."

"Well, you're going to have to find a solution to that problem by yourself. We don't want them in the house right now, so you're going to find another way to help them."

I chuckled dryly at that, "Hold on, did you forget that this is my house? I'm the one that bought-"

"Hold on, did you forget that you decided to leave the house?" Rami mocked me, "Yeah, you may own it, but you left us in the house. We don't want your friends here, because as of right now, knowing that you cheated on us with them, we don't want them anywhere near us."

"I can easily just-" I cut myself off and held my breath, holding myself back from saying anything else, "Right, I think it's time that we go to the hotel, Dom."

I got up and went out through the backdoor. I walked towards Cameron, Hunter, and Evan who were too busy crying about something. I chuckled and stopped in front of the table.

"Hey, Xavier." Evan looked up at me, then closed his eyes, "We should go out...to eat. I'm getting horny."

"Evan..." I sighed as Cameron and Hunter laughed harder, "We're going back to the hotel so we're leaving right now."

"Are we gonna eat there? Maybe you can teach Cameron...how to give a better blow-job." Evan joked which made Cameron scoff.

"Hey, I give great head-well...I'm not sure. How was I yesterday, Xavier? Who was the best out of the three of us?" He looked at me with his droopy, red eyes.

I smirked, "You were all pretty good, but I'd say Hunter was the best."

Hunter turned to me, "Huh? Someone texted me?"

"No, Hunter." Evan wrapped his arm around his shoulder, "Cameron asked...who was the best at giving Xavier a blow-job yesterday. Guess what, Hunter? You're the best cocksucker out of the three of us! I bet you secretly practice...with other guys, huh?"

Hunter gasped and looked at me. "Do I get a kiss as an award, Xavier?!"

"Xavier..." I looked over my shoulder and saw that Dom was waiting for us.

I sighed and turned back around. "No, you don't get a kiss, Hunter."

"A blow-job?!"

I laughed, but shook my head. "No, you can ask Cameron and Evan for that."

They all gasped, then looked at each other. "Ew, no!"

I rolled my eyes, but pulled Evan up. "Well, we're going back to the hotel, so come on guys."

"How...how are we going back?" Cameron asked as he stumbled onto me.

"Dom is being nice enough to give us a ride back."

Hunter looked over at Dom and gave him two thumbs up. "Thanks, Dom-"

"You can call me Dominic." He walked to the side of the house towards the front.

Hunter pouted and looked at me. "Your boyfriend didn't accept my thumbs up, Xavier. That wasn't nice."

I shook my head and patted his back, pushing him forward to walk. "Come on, Hunter..."

About an hour later, I was gathering my stuff from the hotel room while Cameron, Hunter, and Evan were sprawled out on the beds, watching as I walked around the room to gather my stuff. I took my medicine as soon as I got here, so I would act "normal."

"Where are you going, Xavier?" I heard Cameron ask.

I shoved the last few things into the duffle-bag, then looked up at my friends. "I'm leaving. My...lovers want me to move back in the house. They gave me a bunch of rules that I have to follow. Sorry to say this guys, but the kissing and orgys are going to have to stop."

"What?! Not the orgys!" Evan yelled out and sat up to look at me, "Wait, you'll still be able to hangout with us, right?"

"Yes, Evan. I just won't be able to leave the house between ten at night all the way till eight in the morning. I can't drink anymore and the smoking, unfortunately, will be limited for me. I can only smoke three times a week, now."

"I feel bad for you." Cameron looked at me with a face of horror and I chuckled, walking over to him.

"I'll probably get you guys to calm down on the smoking, too. Probably not now, but later on." I smiled.

"Never." Hunter leaned closer to me and smirked when I moved back, "Ah, you thought I was gonna kiss you? I wouldn't do that, Xavier. I respect the rules that your boyfriends have set up for you."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "You're lying to yourself, Hunter. I bet that you want another blow-job from me, huh?"

"Yes." He nodded, but pulled Cameron and Evan to his sides, "Maybe I'll just face-fuck these guys, I don't know."

"Woah, you're the best cocksucker out of us, so Evan and I will be putting your mouth to work." Cameron shoved Hunter away as I laughed.

"One problem, I probably won't be able to see you guys for a few weeks. I'm going back to school next week, then I have to catch up on work, and I also start therapy next week." I groaned and rubbed my head, "I can feel the headache forming already."

"Aw, man! How are you going to smoke?" Evan asked and I smirked.

"Give me a tube and I'll pay you for it?"

"Deal." He got up and looked through one of his bags, pulling out a tube that contained three pre-rolls in it, "That's gonna be fifteen dollars, Sir."

I chuckled and reached into my backpack, pulling out a fifty. "Keep the change, Evan."

"Thanks, Xavier." He smiled.

I took the tube from his hand and slid it into my front pocket. I pulled Evan into a hug and sighed, kissing his cheek. I turned to Cameron and Hunter, and hugged them as well, kissing their cheeks.

"I'm glad that I met you guys. It was a lot of fun spending time with you."

"You're saying it like you're gonna die." Hunter squinted at me, then gasped, "Are your boyfriends threatening you?!"

"No, Hunter!" I shook my head and laughed, "I'm not gonna die, but I wanted to say that because I just felt like it."

I shrugged and grabbed my duffel-bag, sliding on my backpack. I walked towards the door, but felt a hand grab my wrist. I looked back at Cameron and jutted my chin.

"When are you gonna explain to us about you being a leader or whatever?" I froze, then looked around the room, pulling my hand away as I ran out of the room and down the corridor, "Xavier!"

"Uh, I'll explain later! I left you guys a present under your pillows, bye!" I went straight to the elevator as it opened and pressed the ground floor, sighing once the doors closed. I shook my head and chuckled with a sigh, "Fuck me..."

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I'm sorry, but I freaking love Cameron, Hunter, and Evan. Maybe I'll make a future story that's similar to their friendship with Xavier, but obviously with different characters, of course.

What do you guys think?

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed, see you next time, BYE!!! :))

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