Hainsey

The first thing Rosa does when they arrive three hours later is hug me. It's something I definitely don't deserve, but I take it anyway.

Andrew, on the other hand, does something I'd consider to be a symptom of having a personality disorder, but hey, can I really blame him? His fist nails me right in the jaw after Rosa's deadly hug is over, and then he stares at me for a good twenty seconds while I rub away the throbbing pain. I'm not pissed at him whatsoever – I deserve this. I'm actually happy he did that.

But then he hugs me, thanking me because I got Ems to the hospital as quickly as I did and because I stuck by her side through the whole thing. The whole change is so quick it almost gives me whiplash.

Of course, I think he's crazy for saying that. This whole situation stems from me caring maybe a little too much for my mom. I shouldn't have let her decisions affect me like they did. The drugs are already fucking her up enough – so what harm could getting her own money have inflicted, really? I know I sound like a horrible person, but Mom would've deserved whatever came her way for deciding to go with drugs as a pain reliever. Ems on the other hand? She doesn't deserve shit like this.

She's injured because of me. I close my eyes and picture the look on her face as Victor held her. The noises she made when Clayton threw his fist. The way she slouched in the truck.

I would start crying again, but I can't – I let all my tears out when I told Rosa and her dad the story on the phone. Val came back during that call and looked at me like I was insane – she's never seen me cry before like Ems has.

After our small exchanges, I sit back down and stare at the white flooring, studying a small chip in one of the corners. If I focus with all my might, I think I can avert my mind from anything that has to do with Ems's medical status. Because I'm not immediate family, they've told me nothing. I thought about calling Mrs. Brantford and letting her know what happened to her daughter, but I decided against it. Though I've seen improvement between Ems and her mom through the summer, it's still a rocky relationship. Besides, she asked me to call Rosa and her dad. It was the least I could do after being the catalyst in this mess.

Andrew, who shares the same hair colour and eye colour as Ems, heads to the front desk to ask for information on her and find out what's going on for all of us. Now that blood relatives are here, we should be able to find out how she's doing. Val tells us she's going to get some coffee for everyone – it's already been a long night, and by the looks of it, it's not going to end any time soon.

Rosa sits down beside me, her giant leather bag that's a weird pastel pink colour settled between her feet. We succumb to the silence for a long time, unsure of what to say or how to start a conversation. I hate it because we've never had this problem and I'm scared I've ruined the relationship we have.

"I'm sorry about your mom, Hainsey," Rosa says softly.

I blink in surprise. I was expecting her to reprimand me for being stupid. "Thanks," I say. My voice sounds raw. I'm exhausted from today's events.

Rosa looks at the floor, and then reaches down to grab her bag. From it, she pulls out a medium-sized envelope that has the emblem of the University of Ottawa on it, along with...my name.

What the...?

Rosa sighs. "Look, I know Emmy wanted to present this to you, but considering the circumstances, I think I'm doing this at the right time."

I look at the envelope in her hands. It's already been opened, and I can see several pieces of white paper sticking out. I'm frozen and scared and excited at the same time. I don't understand how –

"After you told Emmy about lending all your post-secondary education money for your mom's divorce, she was broken-hearted for you – she found it unfair that your mom would take money that solely belongs to you and use it for something like that. So, when you invited her to watch you play hockey, she decided she was going to do something about it." Rosa takes a deep breath and wipes her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie. I feel the urge to get up and get her a tissue, but I need to hear the rest of this story. "She filmed you, wrote an amazing paper addressing why you deserve to be playing hockey with the university and have a scholarship for landscaping, and then sent it to them."

I blink, feeling bewildered. If I weren't so tired, I think I would start throwing questions at her, but my brain can barely process everything she's just told me.

Rosa lets out a little laugh. "She used our Abbottsford address so mom wouldn't open it first and look what I do," she mutters. "Maybe I am like my mother after all." She shakes her head and continues on, looking me directly in the eye. "The reason I'm showing you this is because I know you're worried about what's going to happen when she wakes up."

I look at my hands, inspecting the callouses and years of work that have affected them. Yeah, maybe I was thinking that. Am I selfish for worrying that she might reject me? I think so. But I can't help it – the love I feel for Ems is indescribable. Living without her after reuniting...I don't know if I could handle it. I deserve to be left behind after this, but I know it would hurt like hell, break my heart all over again.

"Hainsey," Rosa continues, reaching over and taking my hand. "Emmy loves you. I mean look at all the work she did to get you a scholarship at the same university she's attending. Look at what she did to win you back. Emmy has loved you since the day you gave her that juice box on the blacktop after Mitchell Sokolov was being a dick to her. God, when we left, she was a mess without you. There was a spark missing in her for years and I hadn't seen it for a very long time until I came and visited here. You bring out the best in her. You make her fight for what she believes in. You are the reason she's smiling again."

To my damn dismay, I feel a tear slip down my cheek. Shit. I though I was out of tears to cry.

A smile crosses Rosa's lips. "So let me tell you, Hainsey Blake Stone, that something like this isn't going to make my sister run away from you." She laughs. "Hell, this is probably going to make her cling to you like a parasite."

That makes me laugh, and I reach up to wipe away the tears. "Thanks, Rosa."

She nudges me. "Anything for the brother I never had."

I can't stop my eyes from averting to the yellow-coloured envelope in her hands.

She holds it out to me. "Take it – it's yours."

I'm scared to take it, but I manage to with a shaky hand. I pull out the first piece of paper. It's thick and strikingly white under the fluorescent lighting. Taking a deep breath of the antiseptic air, I read each and every line with such precision I feel like I'm going cross-eyed. This can't be real. They wouldn't accept me without a tryout. And then I think back to what Rosa said. I guess they sort of have seen me tryout already.

When I'm finished, I make a mental note to ask Ems to see what she wrote. Because whatever her brain came up with and wrote on the paper was clearly persuasive enough.

God, I never thought she'd do something like this for me. My heart feels unbearably big and my insides feel like I've just chugged a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

Absentmindedly, my ears pick up on the conversation that's going on around me. Val is back with a coffee for everyone and Andrew is back with less rigidness in his stance. I quickly snap out of whatever trance I'm in and shove the papers back into the envelope. I can reread them as many times as I want to at home.

"So?" Rosa asks, gripping one of my hands and one of Val's. "How's Emmy?"

Andrew lets out a steady breath of relief. "The results of the first CT scan didn't alarm them too much, so they decided to wait for a bit, while keeping tabs on her, and see how the internal bleeding went as time progressed. It's been slowing down significantly, which is a good. She's not going to need surgery and she should be able to heal on her own. They want to keep her here for a couple nights just to be sure, though, because sometimes the body's reaction can be delayed." He exhales again. "But the doctor said things are looking good."

I close my eyes and take my turn at breathing a sigh of relief. Thank God. I was worried she was going to need some kind of surgery or something.

"So," Val says, "is she awake?"

Andrew nods.

"Can we see her?" Rosa asks.

"Yes," he replies. "But Emyln wants to talk to you first."

It takes me a moment to realize he's talking directly to me. "What?" I ask, startled.

Telling the girls to give us a second, Andrew guides me over to the corner of the room, adjacent to the doors that lead into the ICU.

He hugs me. Again. "Sorry for the hit," he mutters. When he pulls back, he runs a hand through his hair and glances at the doors.

"Don't apologize," I say a little more defensively than I intend. "I deserved that."

He rests a hand on my shoulder, and I instantly feel the familiarity of the "dad role" coming into play here. It's been five years since I've seen Ems's dad, but that doesn't affect the memories I have of him. Out of anyone, he was the one that was really involved with our hockey team; he always took us on the road trips, always supported us even when we weren't playing to our full potential, and was constantly there. He's the one parent throughout all of this that has always been present. Which is why I've always looked up to him. Maybe I was even a little jealous of Ems for having such an awesome dad.

"Christ," Andrew continues. "I haven't seen you for years. You're all grown up, Hainsey."

I shrug, feeling sheepish. What else does he expect when it's been five years? "Guess that's what time does," I joke.

He laughs. It's a small laugh and shouldn't mean too much, but it does. It does because it means he doesn't hate me like he should. "Look, buddy, I'm not mad at you, okay? Rosa told me the whole story. Yes, you should have told her, but Emyln can be reckless and relentless – especially when she loves someone." He raises an eyebrow at me, and I can't help but wonder what the hell Rosa told him. Does he know what Ems and I did? I feel my cheeks begin to burn. "She shouldn't have followed you, and I'll be having a talk with her about that."

I stifle a laugh. He's going to have a talk with her? Ems is an adult now – she lives life the way she wants. Changing her mind is like changing the chemical composition of life – impossible. But if that's what he wants to do, then so be it. "So, um, did Rosa tell you about the conversation Ems and I had?" I ask. "About my mom?"

I feel like a little kid, as Andrew looks me over. When our eyes meet, his expression softens. He rests a hand on my shoulder. "We'll get your mom the help she needs."

I could start crying again. Finally. After all the times I've tried to get my dad to step up and help, my grandparents, aunts and uncles – someone that I know can make a difference is helping me. It feels as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

He notices the sudden slack in my posture. "Don't feel bad for what you did, Hainsey. You were a kid when it started and by the time you realized the depth of the mistake, you were already in too deep. You've got to be pretty damn strong to get through shit like this. Though the situation doesn't have the best conditions, I'm proud of you for getting by without succumbing to something like an addiction."

I'm caught off guard. Huh. I never thought about it that way. Drugs are drilled into our minds as a bad thing since the day we're able to comprehend what's happening, but it all changes when someone you love goes through it. And maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit in this situation. The pain and suffering I've been through has been hell, but I did manage to keep my head screwed on straight.

I swallow thickly and nod, and then Ems's dad gives me a push toward the doors. "Go talk to her – the rest of us will be in in half an hour."

Dazed, I head for the doors and push my way through.

The past several hours have been a jumble of unexpected events that I can barely wrap my tired brain around.

But maybe it's a good thing.

Maybe everything needed to come crashing down before the pieces started fitting together again.