"To love is to gouge your eyes out.
Falling into it will break your legs,
making a mistake breaks your heart,
and the past becomes something you'd rather forget."
- Author

***

The next day, Gwen stared into space as she bit into her donut. She knew that yesterday had passed, and there was nothing she could do about it. So why was it so hard for her to accept that?

She rolled her eyes at no one in particular as she took another bite. Funny, how you regret things, even if you've kept on wishing for them for a long time, she thought.

She heard footsteps as her mother entered the room, yet she continued to stare at nothing in particular.

"Honey, is there something wrong?" her mother asked, concern in her voice. "You should eat your veggies. There's still an entire clump of peas on your plate."

Gwen sighed without looking at her mother. "I know."

"Look, if anything, or anyone, is troubling you--"

There was a creak as the front door opened, and Chris stepped in. "Hi, Mrs. O'Brien."

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear, Gwen grudgingly thought as she stood up to get her bag, leaving her peas sitting alone on her plate.

"Gwen, honey, don't leave until you've finished eating!" Her mom called after her.

Gwen stopped at the doorway, staring at her. "I'd rather my health go down than my grades, mom."

She didn't answer, though she was staring at the two of them. "Oh, you two just make a good couple!"

They both groaned. Even though they would like that.

The woman chuckled. "I was just messing with you two." She gave Gwen a kiss on the cheek and patted Chris on the head. The boy blushed. Gwen's mother was a few inches shorter than him.

They left, and she waved goodbye to them as they got on the school bus.

***

On the bus, Gwen glared at Chris. "Yeah, way to go for making this friendship even more awkward."

He smirked. "Was it my fault that you returned the kiss?"

Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red. Damn it, what is wrong with this guy?

"How disgusting, Chris. I never expected you to stoop down to so low as to dreaming about a kiss with your best friend."

Chris ignored the comment and put his arm around her. "Well, I guess I have been dreaming about it."

She shook his arm off. "Eww."

His smirk instantly turned serious. "But seriously, what about us?"

Us? Was there even an us? What in this goddamn world was he talking about? "As far as I'm concerned, Morrison, I have no feelings towards you. Now stop acting like I'm your fucking girlfriend."

He nodded, then turned to look out the window. "I guess I made things more than just a little awkward, huh?"

Yeah, you almost nearly made us a ton more than just best friends. "News flash, Chris. Little is probably the least accurate word to describe how embarrassing that was. What if someone had seen us?"

He turned to look at her and smiled. It wasn't a smirk, neither was it a grin, but it was just a genuine smile. "Well, let's just be thankful that nobody did."

Gwen sighed. This conversation was going to get more weird if she didn't stop it now. "Whatever. Though I guess we're still friends, right?"

She looked into his eyes. Right? she silently pleaded.

Chris nodded as if satisfied with the statement. She wasn't, and she knew both of them weren't. She knew that both of them wanted something else.

But she kept quiet for the rest of the ride.

***

Chris hated every single second of that damn kiss with every cell of his body.

But he didn't know why.

Sure, he liked Gwen, but still, he didn't like what happened yesterday.

He knew he should probably consider himself lucky to even be able to share a sloppy kiss with his crush, but now he felt like his life had hit rock bottom.

He knew that he shouldn't have done that. He knew that it was wrong for little, irresponsible teenagers to kiss each other like lovers in paradise. And he knew that he felt stupid for starting the act.

Stupid. You're just plain stupid, Chris.

Angry at himself, he was about to land a punch on his already damaged chair when a teacher's voice rang across the room.

"Good morning, everyone," the teacher greeted them coldly with what was supposed to be a warm greeting. "Today I will group you in pairs for your next assignment."

The entire class groaned, but the teacher ignored their reactions and calmly pulled out a paper bag.

Chris frowned. An assignment this early on in the class?

"This bag is filled with the names of each girl in this classroom. Each male in the classroom will get to draw from this bag the name of their partner. I understand that there is an equal number of both genders in this class?"

Everyone nodded, and the teacher got to work calling each boy to the front alphabetically to know who their partner was.

Chris sighed. He wasn't going to be able to get even a minute of sleep because of this damn assignment.

"...Morrison." Chris stood up and sleepily walked over to the teacher's table.

The teacher raised an eyebrow. "Sleep well lately?"

Chris merely nodded and felt around in the bag with his fingers, finally choosing to grab one piece of paper.

"Remember, do not reveal your partner to your classmates immediately until we start today's activity to prepare you for this assignment."

Chris didn't even bother to look at the name written on the paper as he walked back to his seat. When he did, he wished he hadn't.

He stared at the name on the paper and wondered whether fate was trying to make his entire life a joke.

He wished he hadn't admitted his feelings to Gwen.

On the paper, scribbled in a doctor's vague handwriting, was the name O'Brien.

***

"Okay, class, sit on a seat next to your partners."

Everyone stood up, except for Gwen, who remained in her seat. She was too bored to even stand up.

She looked around the room, waiting for someone to sit next to her. No one did.

Then she saw him approaching.

Chris groaned as he fell into the seat beside her. "Believe me, I know," he said before she could utter a word.

Of course, they both knew how awkward this was.

Gwen chuckled at the sleepy giant sitting right beside her. "We're not going to get anything done, are we?"

"Let's see, but in the meantime, I hope I don't fall asleep," Chris replied as he grinned.

"Now, class, your partner will help you for the task that will be graded as your performance." The teacher stopped talking, serving to increase the suspense. "A research paper."

No one reacted. All of the class had expected this to happen.

"For today's activity, you will be given time to prepare for the research paper until this class ends. You have about thirty minutes."

The class began to discuss among themselves, sending a loud burst of talking bouncing around the room. The teacher held up his hand, and the noise subsided.

Chris leaned on his seat and stared at the floor. "Wanna take a nap?"

Gwen grinned at him. "Thought you'd never ask."