Two years later.

The sun was fucking annoying sometimes.

It was blazing, as if it was trying to melt off my face. I squinted, pulled my fingers through my hair, which I had kept short. Nowadays, though, it was professionally cut, not with the kitchen scissors by a drunk and hot omega.

I smiled a little as the wind ruffling my hair matched the sweeping of the tall, dry spring grass around my ankles. I loved this place, and it always seemed to bathe in an orange glow at sunset. I leaned my chin against my arm, that I rested on the top fence of the meadow. Tobirama had spent weeks last summer holidays building it higher, as Rudy had become such a daredevil that she would jump it as soon as Tobirama turned his head away. She never tried to escape, just jumped over and then cantered around, looking for Tobirama.

"What on earth..." he had said the first time.

We were fucking each other in the summer house, him on top of me, me moaning beneath him, when suddenly, Rudy's beautiful head poked through the window, ears pointed forwards, eyes glistening, nostrils flared. Look, Daddy, what I can do!

And it went on like that until Tobirama raised the fence. I was convinced she could still jump it, but she respected Tobirama's efforts too much. You went through all that trouble just to make me stop. I will listen because I love you.

Tears were streaming down my face as I thought of her, and I looked back at the summer house, detached from the main mansion, to comfort myself.

Tobirama had inherited the mansion and all grounds upon Helen's death, but couldn't bring himself to move in. Too many bad memories, he said. I was happy staying in the villa in the city where we had rebelled, and so was he, which was weird as that city, too, held bad memories. But it was good to come back and stay in the summer house from time to time, which was where we were now.

Two years after the war, we were both scarred, him from what he had done, me also from what he had done. I was still not my old usual self with him, being slightly distant, but I had never stopped loving him. My distancing caused passionate fights at times, where Tobirama would scream and cry and I just couldn't provoke any reaction from myself. We always made up, and we were never cruel to each other. But things never really became the same.

Suddenly, someone blew in my neck.

"Jesus Christ!" I screamed.

Tobirama laughed and hugged me. I leaned in, hugged him back, breathed in his entire existence. Whenever I felt disconnected from him, I tried to think about the feeling when I had thought he was dead. Thank God. Thank God you survived.

"Is it time?" I whispered.

"It's time."

I took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. About half a year after the war, when we were back at the mansion for the first time since the war, is taken his hand in the same way, causing him to stare at me.

"What?" I had asked.

"You took my hand..."

I had looked at him, confused. "So? We hold hands every day!"

"This is the first time you take my hand since the war."

I hadn't even realised.

Now, we walked together to the cliff where we had ridden that first time I got to ride Rudy, Tobirama with her urn beneath his arm. He was crying, and I let him. Once there, we stood hand in hand, looking at the vastness before us.

"Do it", I said mildly.

He released my hand and went and stood on the edge. He took a deep breath, and let Rudy's ashes fly with the wind. He stood for a while, and I walked to him, standing in front of him.

"Tobirama, I love you", I said. This time, I was very aware it was the first time since the war. I hadn't told my boyfriend I loved him in two years. He'd still told me every day. But this was my first time. "I love you. We'll get through this." I didn't know if I meant us or Rudy's death. He touched my face with his fingertips.

"Izuna..."

"I never stopped loving you. Not once."

He hugged me, kissed me and cried.

The next morning, we stood at the fence again, munching breakfast crumble with yoghurt from bowls that we'd brought outside. The spring day was bright, a happy contrast to the sunset of yesterday. Sunsets were beautiful, but I couldn't help but feel they had a sadness about them. Maybe, it was because ever since the war, I'd had trouble sleeping, causing a great deal of anxiety before dusk. This morning was refreshing, and it was all mirrored in the beautiful, tall, red foal in front of us, happily playing in the meadows.

The foal was what had caused Rudy to die two months ago. She had not survived his birth. The first month had been critical, but the foal had survived without a foster mother, and was happy and healthy. Tobirama had named him Dario, matching his mother's name, and we both loved him to death.

"I don't wanna leave", Tobirama said, smiling as Dario fell while trying a steep turn in canter. As opposed to his mother, he had some white in his face and on his legs that easily got dirty, to my great amusement and Tobirama's great disdain.

"I know", I said, thinking about going back to our true home tomorrow. I loved our home, but... "I know."

A seed was planted within me then. A seed that wouldn't quite stop growing within my heart.

Me and Tobirama hadn't made love for two years.

We had fucked.

The first time after the war was one month after the war. We hadn't spoken at all. I still stayed with Sebastian. Me and Sebastian weren't interested in each other but I didn't bother to tell Tobirama that. I was fascinated by his similarity to Henry, and he liked me and thought I was fun, and his apartment he'd gotten for himself in the city was clean, so I stayed there. But after one month, when I stood in the shower, I accidentally brushed my hand over my tip and I screamed. I realised I was leaking and even bulging.

I hadn't even fucked myself in a month

I had never finished a shower so quickly in my life.

"Where are you going?" Sebastian asked from the couch when I ran out, not even bothering to dry my short hair.

"To Tobirama. I need him to fuck me."

I shut the door behind me write he even had time to think about an answer and ran to the villa. I still had the keys so I let myself in. To my great anger, he wasn't there. How dare he not be there when I was horny? Didn't he understand he needed to stay in case I came back so he could please me? I sat down at the kitchen table, pouting, elbows on the table, my chin resting on my hands, somewhere deep down knowing I wasn't reasonable but not bothering feeling bad about it. Finally, after twenty whole minutes, the door opened, and Tobirama came in clad in black sweatpants that showed off the hem of his sapphire blue underwear and nothing else, tanned, sweat dripping from his muscular body as he'd been running. The burn on his torso from the raid was matte and dull, as opposed to the rest of his glistening skin, his missing ear hidden behind his hair. He panted as he closed the door, then jumped when he saw me.

"Jesus Christ! Izuna!"

I stood up and unbuttoned my shirt, let it slide off my shoulders and then took of my black jeans as well. I was naked and leaking in under ten seconds.

"Fuck me, you motherfucking and fatherfucking moron", I demanded.

And he did.

He knew exactly what I needed. He grabbed my throat and slammed me into the wall, pushing his knee against my erection. He twirled the tip of his tongue against my lips and dove it into my mouth softly, kissing me sloppily until I screamed. He bent me over the kitchen table on my belly, not even caring to close the window, pushed my head against the wooden surface and pulled his trousers down before he shoved himself deep, deep inside of me. He didn't emit a sound as I screamed my heart out. It didn't take me fifteen seconds before I came.

But Tobirama wouldn't stop thrusting. He turned me so I lay on my back, then pushed into me again. I melted like butter in his way. I thought he wanted to make himself come, but no, he was holding back. He was holding back to make me come again. Tears were streaming down my face in pleasure as Tobirama looked at me with harsh eyes that let me know he owned me. He grabbed my cheeks harshly.

"Come for me again, pet", he said darkly.

And I obeyed. The second orgasm was quicker but enormously deep, causing me to convulse and arch my head back. Tobirama pulled out and licked my belly clean. Then, he pulled up his trousers, took a towel that hung off the chair in the kitchen to dry from yesterday, and went to the bathroom. There was something incredibly demanding about him not finishing.

"Now, fuck off", he said. I was taken aback. Deep down I felt a great, great hurt. "And come back when you need me again." What? I looked at him, and noticed his eyes had completely changed. They were mild, kind, loving. "I'd do anything for you. I love you."

He closed the bathroom door and left me dumbfounded.