Izuna was shaking as he was holding the envelope.

We were sitting in bed, me with my back against the wooden bed frame, him in front of me, my arms around him. I hadn't showered, nor washed. We had just gone straight home and up to the bedroom, sitting down in bed, him in front of me, I behind. He held the letter in his hand, the one I'd written to him in case of my death. I nibbled his jawline a little.

"Izuna?" I said darkly. He hadn't spoken. Not at all, and the desperation I felt to hear his voice was painful. I put my finger underneath his chin, turning his face towards me, planting a kiss on my lips. "Izuna?"

"Mmm?" he said carefully.

"Why did you give ip on me?" I kissed him again. "Why did you give up on me?"

Izuna hickuped. "There were to be only the-" A hiccup. "Only the pilot in the firth helicopter. I didn't- I didn't know you could drive that thing!" he wailed. "I didn't know you were the pilot!"

I laughed warmly and hugged him close to me. "You like it?"

"Yeah..." he breathed, holding the letter.

"Do you want to open it?"

He looked at it, then put it underneath the mattress again. "Not yet", he said.

Then, he turned round, stood up on his knees and kissed me. I had never experienced him so hungry for anything, but in that kiss, he put in all his starvation; his starvation for me, for justice, for life. For this war to end so that we never, ever had to be separated again. He pressed his body close to my torso, and I grabbed his waist, slid them down and took a handful of his ass in each hand, pressing him even closer. He undressed himself quickly, and I started with myself but he stopped me.

"No", he murmured. "No, I like you in that."

"Kinky whore", I teased.

He ignored me.

"What happened to your ear?"

"The bomb that cut the communication got it."

"Does it hurt?"

"Very."

"Are you fishing for sympathy?" Izuna asked.

"Yes." It was a lie. I was in pain, but I didn't want sympathy. I wanted him.

The pain I was currently in was excruciating. I had a burn in my side Izuna hadn't yet noticed that I knew needed treatment. The skin was flared and it was leaking and raw. I didn't feel some parts of it at all , meaning the burn had gone so deep it had cut off all nerve endings. But I hid it. I hid it from him because he needed to indulge in my aliveness. He placed kisses all over my head, licked the rashes on my face. I closed my eyes and moaned.

"I want this to be over with", I said. "I want this to be over with so we don't have to do this anymore. So your family can live differently."

Izuna backed up and looked at me. "You know my family isn't my main motivation?" he asked.

I furrowed my brows. "Then what is?"

"You are."

"But I'm alpha! I've benefited from all of this shit!"

"But you haven't though!" Izuna was raising his voice, but I knew it wasn't at me. "You are the kindest, most selfless man I know! Yet the system turned you into a terrible bully with depression. Your life isn't better now you're at war, Tobes..." He's never called me that before. "But you're yourself. And I want everyone to be able to be themselves. Look at what they've created! Do you know how scared I am I will die because that means you will die, too?! I thought you were dead! I thought you died out there and were never coming back!"

Tears had started pouring from his eyes. I stroke his hair behind his ear, cupped his face gently and kissed him. There weren't any words I could gift him that could help him, so I did what I could to just give him another piece of my heart to hold him up. I turned him over, pulled the zippers of my thick military trousers down and massaged his opening with my leaking tip. Izuna was breathing heavily, pushing himself back in preparation.

"Tobes..." That nickname is fucking killing me even if the war isn't.

"Mmm?" I pressed my dick to his opening a bit, not yet pushing in.

"Did you kill anyone?"

I pushed myself in. Izuna moaned so hotly he had me melting like butter.

"Mmm."

"Really?"

"Yes. Too many." Izuna  was quiet. Then, I started moving very, very slowly, and he moaned. "Does that make you feel differently about me?"

"A little", he said quietly.

I didn't know what to say, so I let my body speak as I made long-slow love to my boyfriend. I grunted, pulled myself out as I was close to coming, and Izuna turned so he was on his back and we beat our lengths looking at each other until we came, me pouring on his abdomen, him on himself.

I slumped down on him then.

And that's when I realised how truly exhausted I was.

Once my burn had gotten treatment, we asked to visit my mother. We were declined, as she apparently were still in need of intensive treatment. Instead, we sat in a meeting room with Caroline, Kyle, Lana, Izuna's family and some other soldiers.

"What are the results of Helen's broadcast?" Kyle asked.

"Nothing yet", Lana said sadly. "We need to wait for the train. And your mission?"

I pulled up a bag with a laptop from underneath the table. "Got it." I placed the bag on the table. "However, it's been impossible for the hackers to gain access to anything. It's an incredibly secure system. I think the only one capable would've been..."

The silence in the room spoke for itself. I missed him. Every second of every day, I missed him. There were so many things I wanted to ask him and talk about, but now I never would.

"How is Helen?" Izuna's mum asked worriedly.

"She'll die", Tobirama said. "She's not going to survive for much longer."

What little hope there had been in the room evaporated and disappeared, leaving us in a gloom that matched the cloudy sky outside. We were quiet, not saying anything. Madara reached his hand out and took Izuna's, and they entwined their fingers.

"What do we do now?" Izuna whispered.

"I have a plan", Lana said. "Hear me out-"

"Chief!!" A tall, Indian man burst in.

"This better be important, Pavel", Lana sighed.

"We're going to be under attack. Alpha helicopters on the radar."

"Shit!" Lana exclaimed, and my heart froze to ice.

"Caroline. Kyle. Tobirama. Rest of you. Get changed and take your weapons. Now."

I felt Izuna's little hand in mine. I squeezed it.