Chapter 29 - Haunted
Chapter 29 - Haunted
Not Intended for readers under the age of 18
WARNING - THIS CHAPTER IS NOT INTENDED FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18 - I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18 WHO READ THIS!!!!!!!
To My Wonderful Readers: I know there has been some delay on new chapters and there is a reason for that. This is what I call a 'remastered' chapter. From Chapter 28 – Mission Plans & Extractions Part 2 through Chapter 36 – The Claiming Part 3 I am reworking and enhancing the chapters to include new story that's vital in us turning the next corner in this journey. Please be patient with me. New chapters are coming, but these must be done first. I hope you enjoy all that is new.
- B
Sunday
Luke heard the heart monitor in the next room flatline. Alec's heart monitor. With his heart in his throat, he was through the door like a shot.
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Alec was sleepy. So very, very sleepy. But he didn't want to sleep anymore. He didn't want more bad dreams. Dreams that weren't of the Clave or murder or war. But of a tree. A tree that was choking him. Again and again, it was choking him.
He knew that he wasn't supposed to, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't seem to stop tugging on the wires that ran beneath his shirt to the leads that connected to the stupid heart monitor that was driving him crazy. He hoped that if he tugged the right one hard enough that it would shut up. He guessed that he tugged the wrong one too hard when the little squiggly line went flat, and an alarm went off. Luke was there faster than he could blink.
Luke had made it through the door moving at a speed that would put most Shadowhunters to shame. His heart had lodged solidly in his throat. He couldn't draw in a breath until he saw a very sleepy Alec looking up at him as if he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack, kiddo? Do you know what that sound means?" He asked, quickly silencing the screaming machine.
"No." Alec said softly.
"It means that it's not registering a heartbeat. That's what it sounds like when someone's heart stops beating." He said, quickly and deftly reconnecting the disconnected lead. He was tempted to tape the damn thing in place the way he had when his favorite patient was a kid and would tug on the wires.
"Oh. Sorry." Alec said, just as softly. He'd just wanted the machine to shut up, not scare anyone.
"I'll forgive you this time. Just don't do that to me again." He said as his heart finally settled back into its rightful place and his heartrate returned to normal. He knew that Alec was sleepy. He could see it. And that he was struggling. He'd been watching his vitals all night while he'd slept, and they'd told him as much. "I'm guessing that it's too loud."
Alec nodded yes. He wanted it to be quiet. It brought back bad memories. Too many bad memories and they were giving him bad dreams.
"Well, that's an easy enough fix." Luke said, adjusting the sound levels on the monitor and silencing it. "Now it will only make loud noises if you mess with it." He said, thoroughly looking Alec over. 'He's so sleepy.' He thought. But he should be. With the amount of meds he'd been given he should be out cold. "You should be sleeping."
"You should be home with Dot and Ziva." He said, hating that Luke was here with him instead of at home with his wife and little girl.
"Not when you need me here. They understand. Ziva wants me to make you feel better." Luke said, pulling up a stool and sitting beside him favorite patient. Alec had always been his favorite patient despite his stubbornness in the infirmary. "Let me guess, bad dreams?" He asked, already knowing the answer.
"How'd you know?" He asked, honestly curious.
"Sometimes these machines tell us more than just your vital signs if you know how to read them." Luke said. "Sure, for most people they just look like lines and squiggles, and they make a lot of noise. But for someone like me each line and squiggle means something. Something important. You know that, right?"
Alec nodded yes again.
"Well, I could get into all of the technical definitions and bore you back to sleep, but I won't. I'll keep it simple. You asked me how I knew that you were having bad dreams." Luke said. "You see, a person's heartrate is different when they're awake than when they're asleep. There's a certain range of normal for sleep and when those numbers are higher than normal it's a sign of distress.
I know that being in here is hard for you, kiddo. That being in here brings back bad memories. I've known that for a long time. When a person goes through what you went though it's sort of to be expected. But I'm thinking that being in here brings back a pretty specific memory. Am I right?"
Alec nodded yes. He'd never understood how Luke had always known him so well, how he understood so much, but he did and that helped.
"It might help if you said it out loud." Luke said gently, hoping that he would. He'd been hoping that he would open up to him for years, but he never had.
"I did." He said, wiping the tear that fell away.
"I'd never heard it described that way before. But it makes sense. And to feel that way as many times as you have for as long as you did, I think that's worthy of some pretty bad dreams." Luke said. He didn't have to ask for clarification as to what Alec meant. He'd already known. And now he knew at least one of the things that had been on his mind, at least one of what he was sure was a long list of things that had caused him such extreme anxiety. Talking about his past.
"I guess." He said, shrugging.
"Please don't do that." Luke said. "Please don't push me away. You don't have to push me away. Not when I might be able to help."
"You can't help." He said. "In here, in places like this nothing helps. There's too many..." He started, unsure how to finish.
"Too many what? Sights? Sounds? Smells?" Luke asked. He'd spent a great deal of time in the infirmary not just as a doctor but as a patient himself surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells that were ever present and while he didn't bat an eye at them now, it hadn't always been that way.
"How did you know?" He asked.
"Those senses can be triggers. And they've been triggers for you more than once. I don't know if you remember that or not." Luke said. He wasn't surprised that his favorite patient didn't remember. The mind could suppress a great deal, but he remembered. He'd been tending to Alec his entire life.
The first time that Alec had been in the infirmary was when he'd first noticed it. The first signs. He knew as well as he knew his name that he had PTSD even if no one else did.
Alec shook his head no, he didn't.
"I'm not surprised." Luke said. "I first noticed it after your dad when back to Idris that first time. That's when you first started having bad dreams. But once I let you go back to your chambers the bad dreams stopped.
Then it happened again after you fell. While your dad was there with you, you were okay. But after he left the bad drams started all over again until I cut you lose. Then you were okay again. And that's been the pattern of the years. At least until after the war. Then it didn't matter if you were in the infirmary or not. Once they started it took a while for them to stop. But I'm guessing those bad dreams weren't just about the sights, sounds, and smells. At least not just of the ones in the infirmary. That's something else that's been on your mind, isn't it?"
"Yes." He said softly.
"Do you want to tell me why?" Luke asked.
"No." He said. He did but he didn't. No one knew about his dreams. Not his dreams of the war or the dreams he'd been having since he'd read The Lightwood Book.
He couldn't tell him about those dreams because then he would have to tell him about the book, and everything he'd seen in it. And everything he'd being seeing should history repeat itself. The blood. The screams of the dying. The faces of the dead, all faces of people he'd come to know and call friends. Just all of the useless death.
"Okay." Luke said. While Alec wasn't ready to open up yet, he hoped that he would be soon. For his own sake he needed to. He had enough on his plate with this war already and didn't need to add any more. "It's okay. I know you'll tell me when you're ready. Maybe once you do, we can avoid another day like yesterday.
That kind of distress and anxiety doesn't come with a reason, kiddo. And holding all of that in has a price. A heavy one. And you paid it. Just tell me this, does Magnus know?"
"Sort of." He said."
"Meaning that he knows what's eating at you, he just doesn't know how much affecting you." Luke said. "You shouldn't keep it from him. If you don't feel like you can tell me just yet, I'm sure that you can tell him. And I think you need that."
"Is it bad that I want to cry?" He asked. "Every day I look around at the people here and want to cry?"
"No, it's not." Luke said. He knew that Alec had a lot of weight on him, a lot of pressure. A lot more than any eighteen year old should ever have to bare.
He wasn't just fighting a war he was leading one. And knowing that any one of the people that he might walk past on any given day could die during this war had to be hard. Alec had always been in the business of saving lives, not losing them. But there was just no saving them all.
And he knew his favorite patient well enough to know that he would blame himself for each and every life lost. For him it wouldn't matter how many lives were saved both now and in the future. He would carry guilt for every life lost for the rest of his very long life.
"It's quite normal actually." He said. "There was also something else that you said the other night. That you have a bad habit of ignoring your own needs and you do. But not all of our needs are physical. You also have a bad habit of ignoring your emotional needs. I think Magnus can help you with that if you'll let him."
Alec nodded yes. He knew that Luke was right. His alpha could help. He knew that his warlock knew what was bothering him, at least most of it, they just hadn't talked about it after the night he'd read the Lightwood book. And that was his fault. Every time his husband tried to bring it up, he would push him away. He'd never been good at talking about his feelings, but it looked like he was going to have to work on that too.
"Where is he?" He asked.
"Outside talking with Cat." Luke said. "Would you like me to get him?"
"No." He said. "I don't want to talk here, and he needs to go home and sleep."
"I don't think that's going to happy anytime soon." Luke said. "She practically had to pry him outside for fresh air with a crowbar. But barring any other problems she and I agree that you can go home in the morning. Assuming that you get some rest. You need it rather you want it or not. You know that, right?"
Alec nodded yes. He knew that he needed to sleep even if he didn't want to. But there was one problem. He couldn't sleep. Not without his alpha. Not without being in the safety of his arms with his wonderful scent wrapped around him.
"You need him to sleep, don't you?" Luke asked. "I get it. I do. I know that I've slept better than I have in longer than I can remember just having Dorthea in my arms. I guess because I know that she's finally safe. That my baby is finally safe and that they can't hurt them. And knowing that I don't have to worry anymore."
"Yeah." He said softly. "With him...I feel safe. He makes me feel safe."
"Okay." Luke said, sighing. "Let me talk to Cat. I'll see if we can't maybe come to some sort of compromise. If that's what you need to get the rest you need, maybe we can work something out. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough." He said, a small flutter of hope in his belly.
"Okay. Stay here. And don't touch anything." Luke said. He knew that it was going to be difficult talking Cat into letting her son go home so soon after what had happened, but he'd have to find a way to persuade her. For his favorite patient's sake, he'd have to find a way. And tomorrow he would have to sit her down and tell her everything. He couldn't keep Alec's PTSD to himself anymore. Not when he wasn't the only one caring for him.
Alec nodded yes. In that moment he would agree to anything if it meant that he could go home. If he could sleep in his own bed with the man that he loved holding him close.
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"Hey, you're up late. It's almost 4 am." Luke said, closing the bedroom door softly shut behind him. He'd already looked in on his Sunshine and had found her sound asleep and snuggled up with her favorite froggy.
"I couldn't sleep." Dot said, laying her cheesy romance novel on the bedside table. "I wasn't expecting you home for a while yet. I take it everything's okay with Alec?" She asked, smiling as her Luke kicked off his shoes and crawled across their bed to rest her head in his lap. This was a first. Never before had she been able to be there when he'd come home from a long day.
"For the most part. He wasn't able to settle at the clinic, so I talked Cat into letting him go home with some very strict conditions. She wasn't sure that he would agree to them, but he did. I think he would have agreed to just about anything to get out of there." He said, enjoying his wife running her fingers through his hair. She always did that on the rare occasions that he was able to rest with his head in her lap.
"Did you tell her?" She asked. "About his PSTD?"
"Not yet." He said. "But I plan to in the morning. Today just wasn't the day for it. She was stressed and worried enough already. I didn't want to make that worse. But the most pressing thing tonight was getting him home so he could get some good rest."
"And Clary?" She asked. Everyone knew that tonight's crisis had hit her pretty hard and that she was being watched over too. Once Alec had stabilized, they'd let her go home with Jace with a sworn promise on The Angel that she could stay in bed and rest. As far as she knew they were still checking in on her regularly. Well, everyone knew but Alec.
"Sound asleep." He said. "I gave her another sedative. A milder one. It'll keep her knocked out for a while. How's our baby? Has she had any more trouble?"
"Not really, no." She said. "She's been up a couple of times for water but that was just her excuse to look for you, I think. But once I put her in one of your shirts and gave her your pillow she hasn't been back up. I thought she might find your scent comforting."
Sights, scents, sounds. 'How ironic.' He thought. For one a scent could cause distress, for another it could give comfort.
"My pillow, huh?" He asked, smirking. "I was wondering where it went. So, what am I supposed to sleep on?"
"Well, if you really need a pillow bad enough then I guess you can have mine." She said, smirking herself. "And you'll just have to be my pillow.
"Sounds like a plan." He said, settling down beside her. Oh, how he loved being her 'pillow'.
"You should try and sleep." She said, rolling to rest her head on her favorite pillow." He looked exhausted and needed to sleep. He needed far more than he would actually get, but some was better than none. "Do you need me to help you?"
"No. I think I'm good." He said, wrapping his arms around his wonderful wife. He hoped his words were true. He wasn't certain that the events of the day wouldn't haunt his sleep. He'd always cared about Alec and always would and he'd scared him. Anything serious that happened to his favorite patient always scared him and when that happened, he did have bad dreams. Bad dreams of a tiny baby in an incubator that was small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. Of a little boy on a ventilator fighting for his life when he fell ill with pneumonia. Of a not much older little boy who had to fight again after taking a head injury that should have killed him.
He'd treated countless patients with serious injuries and had lost patients for less than what Alec had endured, but for some reason his struggles always haunted him.
"Okay. Sleep now." She said softly. But she was going to wait until he was asleep before joining him. She thought that the events of the day might give him trouble settling down and maybe haunt his dreams. She made a mental note to ask Magnus for some of his dream suppression potion just to have on hand for when his dreams get really bad, and they did from time to time.
But thoughts of bad dreams weren't for tonight. Not when she had other wonderful things to think about. Both her world and her Luke's had shifted on its axis when they'd first found each other, when everything had shifted and had fallen perfectly into place right where it needed to be. And it had shifted again when she'd found out that she was pregnant. Nine months later she'd had their Ziva, the greatest gift of their lives and they'd thought it couldn't get better. But it would very soon.
Looking up at the man that she loved with all that she is she smiled. He was sound asleep. She had spent the day trying to figure out how to tell him that for the first time ever that he'd be having sleeping nights that would have absolutely nothing to do with staying up with critical patients, something he'd always done. She was trying to figure out how to tell him that their world was shifting again. That they were going to have another baby. And it was with thoughts of that precious baby that she closed her eyes and drifted into her own sleep.
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Cat studied the display on the silent heart monitor in the darkened bedroom. Everything looked good. Looking up she gave Magnus a small nod yes. Her boy was resting peacefully in her oldest and dearest friend's arm.
Luke had talked her into agreeing to a compromise. They had agreed that Alec could come home and sleep in his own bed with his husband on the condition that they would still monitor his vitals. But the first time an alarm went off he was back in the clinic.
Magnus was relieved. His precious Alexander was finally getting good sleep resting in his arms, his head resting on his chest. Yes, his Shadowhunter is the strongest of the strong, the bravest of the brave, but that didn't make him invincible.
It hadn't taken him long to put the pieces together. In less than a week his angel had almost died, wept tears of pain and heartbreak over his parabatai, gotten a visit from his great, great grandmother offering him what would give him the peace of mind that he was so desperately needing.
He'd gone on two rush missions with no real recovery time, the first to New York, a place that didn't hold the best memories for him. And the second to Alicante to save a woman who'd tried to kill him in cold blood, the woman who'd he'd injured severely while defending himself which was an event that had been plaguing him with misplaced guilt from the start.
He'd read the Lightwood book and discussed both his memories of the war and his memories of the traumatic events of his childhood. Then after two back to back visions the strain of it all had finally come crashing down on him. It didn't matter how strong a person is, people have gone insane over far less than that.
His love had finally spilled his guts while they were waiting for Luke and Catarina to come over and set up the equipment they wanted to use to monitor him as he slept. Once it was all in place it hadn't taken him long to fall asleep in his arms.
He couldn't help but think it all through again as Catarina slipped quietly out the door. There was nothing that he could do to change what had happened to his Shadowhunter the last day of their honeymoon, but he could talk to Biscuit. The Angel had sent Belle with a rune that would shield her from the effects of his precious Alexander's visions, and he thought she should use it.
He truly didn't think that their Angel would have sent something that would be a detriment to the bond that they shared when they all believed that the whole reason for its new intensity is so that they could be more in tune with each other. While it may very well be the way it is now so that Biscuit would know that something was wrong, that didn't mean that she had to suffer through the pain and distress that came after one of her parabatai's visions.
And if he was right, while so far, the bond had only been working one way, he didn't think it would stay that way. He didn't think that it's meant to. And if using the rune would give his husband the peace of mind that he needed it would in his mind make it at least worth trying.
All he could do about this young warrior's memories of the war is to try and talk him through them, to help him work through the pain and help him put an end to the Clave. Ending the Clave is the only way to save innocent lives, and it's the weight of those innocent lives and the bloodshed that's to come that's weighing so heavily on his precious Alexander. Yes, lives would be lost in this war, but nowhere near as many as there would be should this war not come to an end.
As for the Lightwood book there was nothing that he could do to change what his angel had read, but they couldn't keep the book hidden away. He didn't think that they should. He didn't think that they were meant to. The book had to come out. They had to share it with their family.
While he knew that his angel wouldn't want to lay a scrap of the burden of the book he now carried on the ones they loved, they needed to see it. They had a right to see it if they chose to. They at the very least needed to give them the choice and the chance to truly learn and understand what they're fighting for, to truly understand what they're fighting to put an end to.
And they need to know that there's proof positive that they could provide to anyone who needs it, proof that they could show to anyone who questioned their words when they revealed the truth about the Clave they served.
But all of that's for tomorrow. Right now, in this moment none of that mattered. All that mattered is that his Shadowhunter is out of danger and is getting what he needs. He'd purged himself, shed his tears, and is getting the healing sleep that would clear his mind so that in the morning they could sit down and do what needed to be done. They would do as Biscuit had told his love what he needed to do. They would share the load.
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Alec stirred, snuggling closer to his wonderful warlock. His favorite scent had wrapped itself around him, his alpha's scent. Chocolate, vanilla, coffee, and musk. He felt warm and safe. His husband always made him feel so safe. Taking a deep breath in of the best scent ever he opened his eyes and met the man that he love's. His beautiful deep chocolate brown eyes.
"Good morning, angel." Magnus said. He'd been watching his love as he'd slept. He'd looked so peaceful. That made him wonder if his wish had come true. That he would sleep peacefully without the nightmares that had been plaguing him.
"Good morning." He said, looking his husband over. He could see that he was tired and hated it. He hated that he was the cause of it. "You didn't sleep."
"I did." Magnus said. "I slept with my beautiful angel in my arms."
Alec nodded yes. While he believed that his alpha had gotten some sleep, he knew that it hadn't been much and that it was his fault. He hadn't slept because he'd been too worried about him.
"How are you feeling?" Magnus asked. They had discussed having a sit-down meeting with their family, but if his Shadowhunter wasn't up for it their meeting would have to wait.
Alec thought for a moment, taking stock of his body. Shadowhunters had to do that sometimes. It's easy to miss an injury when you're running on adrenaline that needs to be addressed.
While he was still tired, very tired, he felt okay. He didn't have that skin crawling feeling that he'd had the night before. He wasn't scared or worried. He knew that Jia was safe even if he hadn't been the one to go for her. But Clary. He didn't know about his Clare-bear, and he had to know.
"Tired, but okay." He said. "How's Clary?"
"Last I heard was that she was sleeping peacefully safe and sound in her own bed." Magnus said. He wasn't the least bit surprised that his love would want to know about his parabatai before anything else. "Catarina and Luke both assured me that she's okay."
"Okay." He said, relieved. If both his mom and Luke said that she was okay, then he believed that she's okay.
"If you're tired, sweetheart, we can reschedule our meeting." Magnus said.
"No. It needs to be done." He said, dreading the meeting they'd planned for that morning. And dreading talking his mother into letting them have it. "The sooner the better."
"Okay." Magnus said, pressing a soft kiss to his husband's forehead. As much as he might like to reschedule their meeting so his love could rest a bit longer, he understood why he wanted to go ahead and have it. While he'd purged himself the night before, he needed to get it all out in the open. He couldn't keep holding it in. It would only hurt him. But maybe he could talk him into pushing it back a bit. "How about we push it back a couple of hours. You need to rest, love, and a couple of hours won't hurt anything"
Alec sighed. He didn't want to push it back, but the annoying tug on the wires running beneath his shirt when he moved told him that he probably wouldn't have a choice. If his mom thought he looked too tired, there was no way they'd be able to talk her into letting them have it.
"Can we stay right here if we do?" He asked. If he had to rest for a little while longer there was no better place to do it then snuggled up with his alpha. It was one of his favorite places to be after all.
"Of course, we can." Magnus said, smiling. He had no problem spending a couple of hours snuggling with his Shadowhunter. Maybe he could talk him into telling him about some more of the wonderful things he'd seen of the future.
"Then I guess it can wait a bit." He said, shifting to rest his head on husband's chest.
"I'm guessing that Catarina will be by soon to look in on you." Magnus said, wrapping his arms tighter around his love. "We'll talk to her then. Do you want to go back to sleep for a bit?"
"No." He said. "Tell me a story."
"A story?" Magnus asked, surprised.
"Yeah." He said, looking up at his warlock. "You've been all over the world. You've seen all seven wonders. You've done so many things. I want to hear about them. About more than just food."
Magnus chuckled. He had told his husband about several of the foods he'd tried from all over the world in an attempt to get him to try them, to expand his palate before he got pregnant. And he'd had some success in getting him to try a few new foods, but his love was right. He hadn't told him about any of his travels, travels to places that his angel would see.
His Shadowhunter had traveled to several places himself, but he'd never gotten to see or explore them. He'd always been on some sort of mission or doing something within the Institute he'd gone to. But that would change. He'd see to it.
"Okay." He said. "How about I tell you why I've been permanently banned from Peru."
"Permanently banned." Alec said. "How do you get permanently banned from a country?"
"Well." Magnus said. "I'll tell you the story."
Alec smiled. He knew for his warlock to have been banned from a country that what he was about to tell him was going to be good.
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"Can we wake him up now, mommy?" Ziva whispered in that loud whisper that only little kids could manage. She'd missed him while he was at the clinic taking care of Mr. Alec and she wanted to have breakfast with him before he had to go back to work. She loved having breakfast with him.
"Gently this time, baby. We don't want to hurt daddy." Dot said. She didn't want her Luke's Sunshine to hurt him this time. She really didn't want to wake him, but he needed to eat before he reconvened with Cat.
"'Kay." She said, crawling from the foot of the bed to her daddy. "Daddy. It's morning time." She whispered in her loud little whisper.
Luke's eyes fluttered open. He smiled at his baby with her big happy smile.
"Good morning, baby." He said, fully awake. He's a doctor. He's used to being pulled out of sleep quickly. It didn't take much. Just a vibrating pager or phone. But her cute loud whisper was a far better sound to wake up to.
"How do you do that?" Dot asked, sitting down beside him. She handed him his coffee when he sat up. She'd made sure that it wasn't boiling hot this time.
"Years of practice." He said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Good morning. No coffee?" He asked when he saw that she didn't have a cup for herself.
"I've had my fill of coffee for a while." She said, giving him a soft smile. It was true. She'd had plenty of coffee over the course of her long life. But she was giving it a break. Caffeine wasn't good for their soon to be addition.
"What time is it?" He asked, taking a tentative sip of his coffee. He was thankful that he could actually drink it.
"7:45." She said. "You need to eat before you head into the village. Cat stopped by to let you know that you needed to meet at the OP's center at nine. She didn't say why." She said before he could ask.
"Okay." He said, wondering why they weren't meeting at the clinic and why their meeting time had changed. 'Alec.' He thought. She probably wants to check on Alec.
"Can I go too, daddy?" Ziva asked. "I want to play with Madzie."
"I don't know if she's going to be there, baby. Maybe mommy can find out if you two can play at her house if she's not going to be there when she leaves for her training." He said. Their baby girl knew that her mommy was 'working' on her magic, she just didn't know why. They didn't want her to know that they were preparing for a war. They thought that she's too young to know and understand.
"Okay." She said. "What's a war?"
"Well." Luke started, wondering why she would ask such a question. But he already knew the answer. Madzie. He took a moment, trying to think of the right words to explain war to his five-year old daughter. "You know that the Clave is bad, right?" He asked hoping to tip toe around her question without lying. He never lied to his Sunshine.
"Mm-hmm." Ziva said, nodding yes.
"Well, everyone is getting ready so that we can make the Clave not be bad anymore." He said.
"You're not supposed to make people do things, daddy." She said. "It's not nice."
"True." He said. "It's not nice to make people do what you want. I guess 'make' isn't the right word. I think 'help' is a better one. We have to get ready to help the Clave not be bad anymore. But they're not going to stop being bad without help. They're not going to be nice.
You know how important is to not pick a fight. But they might, so we have to be ready to defend ourselves in case they do." He said, hoping that would be enough for her.
"What's defend?" She asked.
"It means protect." He said, glad that it was an easy question. "We have to be ready to protect ourselves if they pick a fight."
"Oh. Okay." She said. "So, it's okay to defend yourself if someone is being mean to you?"
"It's okay to ask them not to be mean." He said. "But if they try to hurt you it's okay to defend yourself."
"Will you teach me how?" She asked. "To defend myself?"
"One day, Sunshine. He said. "But that's not something we have to do right now. Unless I'm wrong there isn't anyone here who's been mean to right. Right?"
"Right." She said. "Nobody's been mean. I like that. Everybody is nice." She said. She liked that they lived in a place now where there were other kids to play with and that they were all nice to her. In New York it had just been her and her mommy. And her daddy when he could come spend time with them.
"Well, we're happy to hear that. But you have to promise that if someone is being mean to you that you'll tell us so we can talk to their mommy and daddy, so they can talk to them about how it's not nice to be mean. Promise?" Dot asked.
She couldn't be more relieved that her husband, a Shadowhunter who'd had been trained to protect mundanes and defend himself from demons, had been able to answer their baby's question in a way that was both truthful and easy for her to understand.
"Promise." Ziva said, nodding yes.
"Ziva, baby, do you know who tells Madzie this stuff?" Luke asked. He knew that it wasn't Alec. While he spent a lot of time with Madzie he was the last person who would tell her about a war.
"She didn't tell me, daddy." She said. "I heard Tommy talking to Connor, but Madzie said that I should ask you since you're my daddy and my Shadowhunter. My very own Shadowhunter." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck, sloshing his coffee in his lap.
"Well, she's right." He said, setting his coffee aside, ignoring the sting of the burn. He's a Shadowhunter and could take physical pain easily. A lot of it. With the exception of a knee in the wrong place. That was a bit harder. But her words made his heart swell. 'My very own Shadowhunter.' He thought.
He may be a disappointment to his parents for not being a 'good enough' Shadowhunter and a failure because he didn't spend his days and nights hunting demons, but he didn't seem to be to his baby girl which was more than enough for him. "You can always ask me or mommy anything." He said, wrapping his arms around her.
He was relieved that her best friend wasn't telling her these things which he was sure that she knew far too much about being a Lightwood. He'd heard plenty of talk about the Lightwood's since coming to Haven and their roles in ending this war. "So, did you two make me breakfast again or do I get to help this time?"
Dot hadn't been able to hide her smile hearing their baby's words. She knew that their Ziva knew that Shadowhunters protected mundanes from the 'monsters', but she also knew that her Luke had always doubted himself and how special he is because of his parents. But she made a mental note to tell him that he's her 'very own' Shadowhunter too. And to remind him that he is in no way a disappointment.
"Nope." Ziva said. "We like making you breakfast."
"Okay." He said, sighing dramatically. "So, what are we having today?"
"I don't know." She said, shrugging. "But it'll be good I promise."
"I'm sure it will." He said. While he appreciated his wife and daughter cooking for him, he didn't expect it of them. He was more than willing and would be happy to do his part. If they'd let him.
____________________
"I don't think that this is a good idea." Cat said. "We let him come home under certain conditions. One of those conditions is that he rest. I don't see have a debriefing as resting."
"I'm aware of the conditions, Catarina." Magnus said. "But this is more than a debriefing. He has some things that he needs to say that are important. Things that he should have already said." He said.
He'd thought that his Shadowhunter had already done what he'd needed to do the night they'd made love, that he'd let what he was holding in go. But he'd been wrong. It had only been a brief reprieve from what had him tied up in knots.
"Alright." She said, sighing. "But if I see him getting distressed or agitated in any way this meeting is over and he's back to bed."
"I've already told him as much." He said. "I'm not willing to jeopardize his heath. You know that. But this, I think this will do him a lot of good."
Alec watched his mother talk to his alpha in the OP's center doorway. He could see that she was concerned, just as he could see Luke's concern when he took his seat at the table.
"Please don't look at me that way." He said.
"Like what? Like a doctor? Sorry, kiddo. That's the first thing they teach you. After a while it becomes ingrained." Luke said. He'd been surprised when he'd gotten there and learned that they were all coming together for a mission debriefing, a debriefing that in his mind could in every way wait, instead of him and Cat meeting to discuss the clinics new plans.
From the second he'd laid eyes on his favorite patient he hadn't liked what he saw. He was far too pale for his liking, far more pale than what his porcelain pale complexion allowed for. This is not what he needed to be doing. He needed to be resting. "Do you remember that conversation we had about how you don't have to push yourself past your limits anymore?"
"Yes. But to make sure that I haven't forgotten it I've already been reminded of it more than once this morning." He said, draining the glass of orange juice that he hadn't wanted but his husband had insisted that he drink.
"Well, whoever reminded you of that, they were right to." Luke said. He could only assume when Cat took her seat at the table that she hadn't been able to talk Magnus into helping to get this meeting postponed the way they'd hoped. He could only hope now that this would be over quickly and wouldn't put any additional strain on Alec. He'd been through more than enough in the last twenty-four hours and didn't need to endure any more, which he was afraid he might. He could already feel the tension coming off him in waves.
Alec waited while everyone took their seats. His husband had expanded the round table to accommodate Jia. It had already been expanded once for Luke.
Scanning the faces of his team and family he could see their concern and hoped that they would be more at ease by the time that this was done. This was more than an after mission debriefing, it was a family meeting. They just didn't know it.
"I guess we can get started now that everyone's here and settled." He said.
"Before we start." Jace said. "I'd like to know why in The Angel's name you aren't tucked in at the clinic. A successful mission debriefing can wait."
"He's right, Alec." Izzy said. "You shouldn't be worrying about this now. You should be resting."
"And I will be when we're done." Alec said. "Mom and Luke agreed to let me come home last night under certain conditions, conditions in which I will follow. But this is more than a debriefing. When we're done debriefing there's a conversation that has to be had. Afterwards, I'll be going back to bed."
Izzy bit her bottom lip, deliberating. If her mom and Luke said that it was okay, then she would go with it. For now.
Luke could see that Isabelle was deliberating. He hoped that whatever her decision was that it wouldn't do more harm than good. The last thing that Alec needed was a battle of wills with his baby sister. He'd known for a long time that when the Lightwood twins went toe to toe that they went toe to toe. Neither of them were known for backing down.
Robert thought for a moment that this might end before it even started. He knew his children well enough to know that his little badass was deliberating as to rather or not she would go along with this and a part of him hoped that she wouldn't. His son's frustration with a showdown between them alone would be enough to have their mother putting her foot down and saying in that firm mom voice 'no' despite Magnus' insistence that this truly is important. If she did, he was certain that their boy would be back in bed getting the rest he needs especially with Luke backing her up. But he was met with disappointment.
"Okay. But we're holding you to your word." Izzy said.
"Fine." Alec said. "Then I guess we'll get started. As we all know yesterday's mission was a success. We were able to extract Lydia from Angel Square in Alicante.
I think we can all agree that while Lydia presenting in public was necessary, we all wish that for her sake that it hadn't been. But the Shadowhunter World needed to see it. They needed to know that I'm not the only omega. Was it fair to her? No. But that doesn't mean that it was any less necessary.
I think we can also agree that watching her present wasn't just hard, it was painful. I know that it broke my heart and knowing the rest of you the way I do I know that it broke your hearts too. Watching somebody go through that kind of pain and not being able to help is hard because it makes you feel helpless. And that's what we were. Helpless."
Robert couldn't help but think back to the day that his son's life had changed so much, a day he'd hoped and prayed would turn out well but had feared that it wouldn't. He still didn't know or understand why he'd been surprised when his precious boy presented as an omega. He knew the history. He knew that the Lightwood crystal blue eyes were an indicator. It's just...his Alexander could do so much. He had so many alpha traits. But even knowing everything he knew he'd still been surprised and had stood frozen while his son's world shattered.
He hadn't gone to him. He hadn't tried to hold his hand or talk him through it. He hadn't tried to comfort him. He'd just stood there and watched. And when it was all over, when his children had helped his sweet boy to his room, he didn't follow them. He'd stayed where he was.
He remembered how he could already see how things were changing. Whispers had broken out amongst the friends he'd invited in for the occasion, Institute Heads from dozens of Institutes. Calls were being made by guests who'd come in for the big affair, and it was a big affair. Word that his son had presented as an omega was spreading all over the world like wildfire. And to add insult to injury, all four members of the Clave had been present.
He'd seen compassion in Jia's eyes. But in the rest, he saw contempt and what he'd thought might be disgust or hatred. Now he knew that it was both. And in the months that followed, he'd done nothing to help his eldest child through the nightmare that had become his life.
Luke knew that Alec understood firsthand what Lydia had gone through. He'd been through the pain of presenting as an omega himself. More pain actually. What male omegas go through is far more intense and painful than what Lydia went through physically during her presentation. And presenting the way he had in front of so many people wasn't fair to him either.
Shadowhunters as a general rule don't have birthday celebrations. Especially elaborate ones with prominent guests from dozens of Institutes. But when the child of an Institute Head presents it's a big affair. Several Institute Heads are always in attendance along with their children. And Alec and Isabelle's birthday celebration was far more elaborate than most with a much longer guest list.
With Alec being the best Shadowhunter in the world and Isabelle being a part of the best Shadowhunter team to ever live, all four Counsil members for the Clave had been there. Presenting in front of all of those people, especially the four most prominent people in the Shadowhunter World, as an omega must have been much harder and far less fair than Lydia presenting in front of a handful of Shadowhunters in Angel Square.
He'd also come to learn just how helpless his team had been. The team he'd formed into a family. Short of Robert who'd been frozen in place no one had known what was happening. Their brother was in agony and there was nothing that they could do to help him. Just as they hadn't known what to do in the hours after he presented.
Then he'd come to learn that when Mayrse had finally managed to catch him alone that she had laid into him saying the most horrible and hurtful things that a parent could say to their child. His entire world had shattered. She should have been there to try to comfort him in some way, but she'd been there only to hurt him. To make things worse.
Magnus thought back to his Shadowhunter's birthday, his presentation day. He still remembered what he had been doing when his angel had presented as an omega in the sanctuary of his Institute in front of the Shadowhunter World's most prominent people, plus a few, and in the hours after. He'd been at his club, Pandemonium, working on the latest remodel. He liked to switch things up from time to time and that's what he'd been doing when his precious Alexander had needed him most.
Had he received the notification that should have come to him from The Omega Chronicles he would have portaled directly into the Institute, wards be damned, and taken his love away from a world that had done so much to hurt him. But as much as it pained him that he hadn't been there for his fated mate, so many things could have changed that shouldn't have been changed if he had been. Sure, he Shadowhunter wouldn't have been on the Brooklyn Bridge the night of his first heat ready to take his own life, but if he hadn't been where would they be now? Where would his team be now? Their army? Would they be together preparing to take on the Clave?
But setting those thoughts aside, there was still one that haunted him. He'd been ready and waiting to take action leading up to the presentation of every Lightwood from the time of Bella. And when Izabella's time came and she'd presented as an omega, he'd been there within minutes of receiving her fire message because he'd been waiting to hear from her. And then Robert and Gideon. He'd been waiting for them too. But not his angel or his baby sister and he didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself for that.
"All I could do was watch when all I wanted to do was hold her hand and try to comfort her. But I couldn't." Alec said. "None of us could and unfortunately, I think that's something that we need to try and prepare ourselves for as much as we can.
It's my hope that we can get as many new omegas as possible here before they present so we can maybe help them through it. I don't know if it's possible or not but maybe by using the Registry and birth times we can take measures to make them as comfortable as we can both before and after they present if we can get them here in time. Maybe with pain medications or something."
"That's definitely something to consider. Cat? Thoughts?" Luke asked, intrigued by the idea. Finding a way to make the presentations less painful if not painless would make things so much easier on the young omegas. While it wouldn't touch the mental and emotional toll of their presentations, at the very least they wouldn't be in excruciating pain.
"I don't see why we couldn't do that." Cat said, wondering why she'd never thought of such a thing before. She'd been present for more than a few omega presentations in her 400 years and had she had this simple thought they all could have been a lot easier on the omega. "But if we're going to try that I think that it would be a good idea to add a couple of rooms onto the clinic for them. Comfortable presentation rooms so to speak.
That would give them privacy as well as a place to rest both before and after they present. Perhaps Aline would be willing to help us there. She's the next omega due to present. We can talk to her about it."
"While I think that's a good idea for omegas that are already here and know everything the way Leenie does we also have to consider people like Lydia." Alec said. "Coming into the village and seeing so many people the way she did when she was already in shock, which I think most everyone who presents before we get them here will be, I don't think that bringing them into the village right away to get to the clinic is a good idea. I think that we should have a place outside of the village where we won't run into the same problem that we did with Lydia.
Maybe we can build a few cottages near our portal site. Once we portal through we can take them to that private place where they can get whatever medical treatment they might need and give them a place to recover. And once they've recovered it will give them a place to stay. At least temporarily.
It will also give us a place where we can talk to them and explain everything before they venture into the village and have time to process at least some of it. That way they're not as shocked as Lydia was when they see everyone. There are people here that they've been told all their lives don't exist and finding that out when there already in such a delicate state might be too much.
I also think that additional housing arrangements are going to have to be made for when they leave what we can call the 'safe place' or something. They can't all stay with grandma. Maybe we can construct some single room cottages like this was for omegas who come through alone. Then as families come through maybe we can construct some cottages big enough to house them.
We all know that Haven is going to grow as more and more people come in. I think they should have something that they can call home from the start. Is that something that maybe the warlock's can help with?"
"I don't see why not." Magnus said, starting to think it through. As usual his Shadowhunter had thought of something that the rest of them hadn't. Some pretty important somethings.
"We have a few carpenters here. I'm sure that they would be willing to help too. Alec's right." Izabella said. "These people are going to need a 'safe place' to stay after they present and everyone who comes in is going to need a place to call home at some point. They are going to be leaving their old homes behind after all."
Cat had to admit that her sweet boy was making some really good points which didn't surprise her, but she didn't understand why this was so urgent. A day or two wouldn't make a difference on new housing constructions. Such plans can wait. Her child's needs can't.
"I think we can all agree that these are all things that we should work on later. Does anyone have any objections?" She asked, wanting to speed this along. She could see despite how hard he was trying to hide it that he was starting to wear thin.
"I don't. If someone does speak up." Clary said. She wanted this debriefing and conversation to be over as soon as possible and for her parabatai to be back in bed. He looked exhausted.
Looking around the table Alec saw only nods of 'no'. He didn't like how quiet everyone was or how they were looking at him. He knew what they were thinking. They were thinking the same thing his brother had. That he shouldn't be out of bed. But before he could rest, he had to do this. He knew that once he walked out of this room, he wouldn't be setting foot back in it for a while and they needed to get the ball rolling on these plans with or without him.
"Okay." He said. "We can start working on that. I also think that we're going to need to look at expanding the training areas. What we have is fine for now, but at some point, we're going to need something bigger. And I think we need to start trying to identify some of the descendants. We already know of one. Mark Ravenwolf.
Now, what I have in mind wouldn't be a definitive identifier, but it might give us some kind of idea of who some of them are. Maybe if we cross-reference the Registry with The Omega Chronicles, we can look for descendants that way. It would be really time consuming, but it could prove beneficial. Especially on rescue missions. If we happen to come across someone that we believe could be a descendant, then we would know right off that they could be a threat. Alpha, is that possible?"
"The Omega Chronicles can't leave the Spiral Labyrinth. We enchanted them so that they can't be removed. We wanted to ensure that they be kept safe." Magnus said. "Catarina and I could go down and reference a list of names, but it would take time. A lot of time. The Chronicles consist of several volumes. But I'm not sure how much it will help us.
Registry or no Registry I find it highly unlikely that there isn't a Shadowhunter alive that doesn't have at least one ancestor that was somehow involved with the Claves of the past."
"He's right, Alec." Jia said, speaking up for the first time. "From what I saw when I was in the vault there were some family names listed in that book of good and honorable Shadowhunter families. Or at least I hope that they're good and honorable families."
"Having a bad apple in one's family tree doesn't make every other apple bad." Robert said. "I think that we can all attest to that. Jace, Clary, please don't take offense to what I'm about to say but we all know that Valentine Morgenstern and Imogen Herondale are both evil.
Does that make Clary and Jace evil? No. And how many noses did you break when people were questioning Clary's loyalty and honor both before and after the war because of who Valentine was?" He asked, unwilling to use the word 'father' in Clary's presence. He knew how much she despised Valentine and that she had come to see him as her father.
"You're right." Alec said softly. "I didn't think of that. My mind was a little muddled last night when the thought occurred to me."
"It's okay, Alec." Clary said gently, taking his hand and squeezing it. "No one expects you to be at the top of your game all the time. But on the plus side, if we can't figure out who the threats are using the Registry the Clave can't either. Sure, they're finding them. We just have to figure out how they're doing it so we can too. And knowing you the way I do and how brilliant you are I'm sure that you're going to figure out how they're doing it long before the rest of us will."
"Speaking of your mind being muddled, Alec, do you want to tell us what happened yesterday?" Simon asked. "I'm assuming that whatever happened is what the conversation you want to have is about."
'Finally.' Luke thought. Maybe now they would get to the real reason as to why they were all there having a meeting that they shouldn't be having. His favorite patient needed to be resting.
"It is." Alec said. "This past week I've had a lot on my mind. A lot of things worrying me, so I guess that I'll go over them in order.
Sunday night was really hard. Not because I almost died, but because of how I felt. We all know how strong mine and Clary's bond is now. Well, Jia might not know but she will.
How my visions affect me have always bothered me. Not because of what I feel after but because of what I know Clary does. Since the first really bad one I've been scared for her. I've been worried about what could happen should I have one when she's in a dangerous situation or really in any number of other situations.
She's my parabatai. I'm supposed to protect her. Not hurt her. And it eats at me knowing that she suffers because of me. I don't think that there's a single person in this room that can tell me that she had a great night last night."
Alec had Luke's full attention. He was finally opening up. He was revealing what has been eating at him. It didn't surprise him in the least that his first concern was his parabatai. 'He's always looking after her.' He thought.
He knew Alec well enough to know that he'd asked her to be his parabatai because he wanted to protect her. She was the smallest member of his team and Valentine Morgenstern's daughter. He knew that she'd turned up for training one day with a black eye and if the rumors are true which he suspected that they are her parabatai is the reason that she never again turned up anywhere with so much as a hair out of place. And he loved her. He would do anything to keep her safe. It was no secret that he would do anything for the ones he loved.
"She thinks that the reason our bond is as strong as it is now because she's supposed to know when something's wrong or when I'm in danger and need help..." Alec started.
"Alec..." Clary said, cutting him off. She knew what he was about to say, and she didn't want him to say it. She didn't want them to know about the rune Belle had given him because she knew what everyone would want. They would want her to use it.
"I'm sorry, Clare-bear. But they have a right to know." He said softly. "Sunday night I was really upset which I generally am when there are bad side effects of a vision because I'm worried about her." He said, addressing the rest of the table. "It gets me thinking all over again about how much she's been hurt because of our bond.
She shouldn't have to feel what I feel. She shouldn't have to endure the pain and the weakness and everything else. It's more than not right. It's not fair. And The Angel apparently agrees."
"While I agree that it's unfortunate that Clary suffers after your visions, Alexander, The Angel did give you two a stronger bond for a reason." Robert said.
"I'm sure that he did give us a stronger bond for a reason too, dad. I just don't think that it's to make her suffer. If it was, he wouldn't have sent this." He said, pulling a piece of paper from beneath his notepad and passing it down to his father. A piece of paper with Belle's 'shield' rune.
"I told you that I won't use that." Clary said.
"But I need you to." He said, pleading. He needed this. He needed this for her, to protect her. To protect his parabatai. "I don't think that The Angel would have sent this if it would in any way hinder you from know that I'm in danger or that I need help. Maybe knowing those things is the reason that our bond is so strong, but that doesn't mean that you should suffer when you don't have to."
"You said that The Angel sent this." Robert said, carefully studying the rune. It was unlike anything he'd ever seen before, but so were Clary's. "What is it and how did he send it? Was it a vision?"
"No." He said. "It wasn't a vision. Belle gave it to me the morning we portaled back from The Manor. It's a shield for Clary to protect her from the effects of my visions. But she won't use it."
Luke had heard of Alec's visions from his great, great grandmother, Arabella Lightwood. She was the only surviving child of Gideon Lightwood, the child that Magnus had taken in and raised as his own after her family's brutal slaughter. Then he had watched over and protected every Lightwood that had come after. So, hearing that Belle had come to Alec again didn't surprise him. But seeing the rune, another new rune drawn on a piece of paper did. Not because it was a new rune, but because it had been sent by The Angel Raziel himself.
Jace's blood was boiling. He'd watched his mate, the woman that he loved with all that he was suffer again and again since his brother had gotten back from his honeymoon, and now he was hearing that she hadn't had to.
"You mean you could have gone almost a week without going through hell when you didn't have to?" He asked Clary, outraged.
"Jace..." Clary started.
"No." He said, cutting her off. "If The Angel sent this for you then you should have used it then and there."
"I'm sorry." Jia said. "You said Belle sent this? Who's Belle?"
"Belle is our great, great grandmother, Arabella Lightwood." Izzy said, trying to reign in her own anger at Clary. Her best friend had gone through hell during the past week and her brother had been eaten up by guilt when it all could have been avoided. "Alec doesn't just get visions from The Angel. Sometimes he gets a visitor too. Belle. She's The Angel's messenger I guess."
"Huh." Jia said. Just when she'd thought that nothing else could surprise her, she was proved wrong.
"Alec, sweetie, why didn't you tell us about this before?" Cat asked, studying the paper with a rune that would spare her daughter the pain and misery that came after one of her son's visions.
"I don't know." Alec said. "Maybe because she refused to use it. But to be totally honest, I don't know. The point is, she doesn't have to suffer. It's been eating at me for months that she has been and now she can be protected..." He started, unable to finish. He felt dizzy and breathless.
"Alec, stop. Take a breath." Luke said. He could see that Alec's blood pressure was starting to rise by his flushed cheeks and slight tremor. Those were trademark symptoms of an impending panic attack. It he didn't calm down they be right back at the clinic.
"Use the rune, Clary." Simon said. He could see that his best friend was struggling when he didn't have to. He was struggling in a way he'd never seen before, but he was struggling none the less. Seeing it he was starting to understand what had happened the day before. "He's not going to stop worrying about you and he's not going to stop feeling guilty after every vision. You're his parabatai and he's suffering. I know you can see that. And you can help him if you'd just use the damn rune."
Luke could see Clary's heartbreak clear as day in her sparking emerald green eyes. She obviously wanted to protect her parabatai just as much as he did her. And she honestly believed that was what she was doing in refusing this 'shield' rune. 'But at what cost." He thought. Either one could seriously affect his health.
"You told me to have a little faith in The Angel, Clary." Alec said. "And that's what I'm doing when I ask you to use the rune. I don't believe that whatever the importance of our bond is will change if you use it. I know that you think that if you do that you won't know when something's wrong. But I don't. I can't.
I have to believe that you will still in some way know whatever it is that he wants you to know. How, I don't know. But now, now I'm telling you that you need to have a little faith in The Angel too."
"Okay." She said softly, giving his hand another light squeeze. She could feel what she knew what anxiety through their bond. It was something that she recognized. She'd felt it enough times in the weeks leading up to her mother's death and after, a time when he'd been there for her in every way. Now it was her turn to be there for him. "You're right. And we all need to have a little faith."
"Thank you." He said softly, giving her hand a light squeeze back. Relief was coursing through him. She was going to use the rune. She wouldn't be hurt by his visions anymore. "Dad? Will you? My hands aren't exactly steady." He said, having realized that he was trembling.
"Of course." Robert said, pulling his stele from his pocket. He'd apply the rune happily. He'd seen how upset his boy had been at The Manor after the vision that had almost killed him and his concern for his parabatai. His fear. Now, thanks to The Angel he wouldn't have to endure that anymore just as Clary wouldn't have to endure the kind of pain she'd been feeling when he'd come back to Haven to check on her. But he knew in his heart that this wasn't just a shield for her, it was for them both, and he was grateful for it.
Taking Clary's free hand in his own he turned it over, looking for a place to apply the rune. Studying the paper again he pressed the tip of his stele to the place he'd chosen and drew it carefully. They all watched as the new rune glowed then faded into a perfect black rune.
Jia didn't know what to say, what to think. Robert had filled her in briefly that morning when he'd invited her to this meeting but there hadn't been enough time to sit down and discuss everything her daughter had said that she needed to know. She had however learned a few things. She'd learned of Clary's ability to create new runes, Alec's visions, Isabelle's gift with forging weapons, Jace's innate skill with blades, and Simon's prowess in combat.
To say that she'd been both shocked and amazed was an understatement, but she hadn't doubted Robert's words for a second. After everything she'd seen in Alec and his team over the years and what she'd seen since Alec had first appeared in her office in Alicante, she truly believed that anything was possible. Was some of it surprising? Yes. But unbelievable? No. At this point how could anything be unbelievable when she'd just watched a good friend use a rune sent from The Angel Raziel himself.
Luke had seen and heard a lot since his arrival in Haven, but it didn't seem to matter how much he saw or heard. He was still being amazed at every turn. He'd seen what he'd thought was the impossible when he'd watched Robert break his tracking rune back in New York, a rune that was supposed to be unbreakable. But watching him apply a new rune to Clary's arm that was sent directly by The Angel would have seemed impossible too had he not already learned that what he thought was impossible wasn't always impossible.
Alec took a relieved breath as he watched the rune that Belle had brought glow and fade into a perfect black rune. His precious little pixie of a parabatai was safe now, protected from the fallout of his visions. And he knew that there had been no other change in their bond. He could still feel her the way he always did and from what he was feeling she was just as relieved as him.
Clary sighed, relieved. She wasn't relieved by the fact that she was no longer going to feel the effects of her precious parabatai's visions, she'd take them gladly if it meant knowing that he was in trouble and that he needed her. Her relief was because she could still feel him. She could feel him and his anxiety just as well now as she had before her father had applied Belle's 'shield' rune. And as far as his visions went, he was right. She had to have a little faith in The Angel too.
"Alright, sweetie. I think it's time we call this meeting done." Cat said. She'd seen her son's agitation mere moments ago and knew that he'd been very close to another panic attack, something that would have landed him right back in the clinic. And that was something that she just wasn't willing to risk.
"What? No." Alec said.
"We let you leave the clinic under very specific conditions, Alec." Luke said.
"But I'm not done. You said that saying it out loud can help." He said. He hadn't wanted to tell anyone about the Lightwood book, but he'd come to realize that if he didn't let the secret of it out it was going to drive him crazy. He just couldn't keep it a secret anymore. Not when it was so important.
"I did." Luke said. "And you've said it."
"Not all of it." He said softly. As much as he wanted to let this retched secret go, he was still ashamed. He was ashamed because in telling them it was going to lay yet another burden on the people that he loved, and they were already carrying so many with this war. Too many.
"Is there something else troubling you, Alexander?" Robert asked, concerned.
Alec nodded yes, unable to look at his father, or anyone else. He was too ashamed.
"Hey." Magnus said gently, lifting his Shadowhunter's chin to meet his eyes. Chocolate brown locked on pained crystal blue. "Chin up. I know this is hard, but you made your decision and it's the right one. They need to know. You know that. So, no tears, okay?" He asked, wiping away the tear that slid down his love's cheek.
"Okay." He said softly, nodding yes. He's a Shadowhunter and Shadowhunters did what had to be done and this had to be done so he'd find the strength to do it.
Cat and Luke exchanged glances. They knew by what they'd just seen that they couldn't stop Alec now. He was still obviously still holding onto something that he needed to let go of. If he didn't and they stopped him it could very well hurt him more than help him. But they'd come prepared for this. Cat's small nod was all Luke needed. Pulling a small pill bottle from his pocket he slid it down the table to Alec.
"Take it." He said.
"What is it?" Alec asked, picking up the bottle and studying the label. 'Alprazolam.'
"Does it matter?" He asked. "We made an agreement."
Alec nodded yes, opening the small bottle. He looked inside at the little blue pills. He didn't want whatever it was, but he'd given his word and he was going to keep it. Pulling one out he studied it.
"Here, sweetheart." Magnus said, setting a glass of water beside his angel. He knew that his love truly hated mundane drugs. He hadn't found out why he despised them so much yet, but he would in time. But right now, the reason why didn't matter. All that mattered was that his precious Alexander take care of himself.
Picking up the water Alec swallowed the pill that would do who knows what to him. Well, his mother and Luke knew that he who knows what is and he supposed that he would too soon enough. But he didn't like it any less.
Luke watched as his favorite patient swallowed the little blue pill. He knew how much he hated taking mundane medications, but he'd given his word and Alec always kept his word even when keeping it meant doing something that he despised. While he knew of Alec's PTSD, he still didn't know why he had such an issue with medications that could really help him. But he hoped that he would find out the reason for it very soon.
"Now, you have about twenty minutes before that starts making you sleepy. So, whatever it is that you need to get out you've got twenty minutes to do it." He said. 'Maybe less.' He thought. Alec was already exhausted, and he'd never given him this medication before. To his knowledge neither had Cat so it would hit his favorite patient hard and fast.
"Okay." Alec said, setting the glass of water aside. Now he knew what the who knows what is. They'd just doped him again. But maybe this time when he closed his eyes, he wouldn't see all of the horrible things that had been haunting his sleep since he'd read the Lightwood book.
"What's going on, Alec?" Izzy asked, concerned. Her big brother had just willingly taken a mundane drug, one that was going to knock him out. It had always been a battle to get him take anything stronger than aspirin, so this worried her.
For him to have agreed to this she knew that whatever he was about to say truly was important. And if she was right, it was also a part of what had caused him so much trouble the day before.
Clary could feel her parabatai's unease through their bond. She was just as concerned as her best friend. She could feel that whatever he was about to say was a big part of what had been eating him up inside.
His Catarina had told him that if the time came that this meeting needed to be cut short that she needed him to just 'go with it', and he'd been prepared to. But Robert couldn't. He'd known that something was wrong all week and that had been cemented in his mind the night before. His son didn't know it, but he'd seen him as he'd slept after they'd sedated him and what he'd seen had broken his heart. He hadn't seen his Alexander that fragile in a very long time. So no, he wouldn't try and stop it. He could only hope and pray to The Angel that whatever his boy was about to do would help him, not hurt him.
"There's something else I need to tell you." Alec said softly, squeezing his husband's hand. "Well, show you. I don't want to. But you have a right to know."
Magnus snapped his fingers when his love squeezed his hand, the Lightwood book appearing on the table in front of them. That had been their signal. They had talked about what his Shadowhunter was about to do that morning and he knew that he was right when he'd told him that he'd made the right decision.
Jia wanted nothing more in that moment than for the earth to swallow her up. Seeing the Lightwood book and how Alec had been struggling throughout this meeting, guilt was eating her up inside. It had taken every ounce of restraint she'd had not to burn the Penhallow book after she'd found it. But she had meant what she'd said in her note. The books had to come to light. How she would get the Penhallow book back she didn't know. But she knew that they had to.
Luke didn't like the look of the very old book that had appeared on the table in front of Alec or how he'd paled seeing it. Whatever it is, he knew that it couldn't be good. Alec was rattled and he wasn't exactly one known for being rattled.
"What is that, sweetie?" Cat asked.
"Something I never wanted to see again." Alec said so very softly. He didn't want to do what he was about to do. More than anything he didn't want to. He didn't want to share the horrors that were written within the book's pages, but he had to. As hard as this was, he knew in his heart that as much as he wanted to keep the book locked away, he couldn't. It was history. And more importantly, it was written proof for anyone they tried to save that needed more than their word to accept the truth. It was their proof.
"I wanted to keep it locked away, but I can't. It's took important." He said, sliding the book across the table to his mother. "I would strongly recommend that grandma not read it."
Cat studied the old book that had the Lightwood name embossed on the side. She didn't know what it was, bit she could feel its evil. She knew then that a big chunk of what had been hurting her son was what was in the book. A book that reminded her a great deal of The Omega Chronicles in The Spiral Labyrinth.
Everyone watched as Cat studied the old book that had the Lightwood name embossed on the side, and they could all feel something that could only be described as evil coming off of it.
"Where did you get this?" Cat asked.
"From me." Jia said. "I sent it to him with the Registry. I thought he should have it. From what's going on here it looks like he was braver than me. I couldn't bring myself to read much of mine."
"Yours?" Robert asked.
"Yes." She said. "The Penhallow book. You'll understand once you've looked at it."
"May I?" Robert asked Cat.
Nodding yes, Cat slid what she knew in her heart was a book of horrors across to him.
Flipping the book open Robert studied the first page. It was hard, but he turned to the second and the third. With each page he turned it was getting harder and harder to hold down his breakfast. Finally, he couldn't look at anymore. He'd seen enough.
"You read this, Alexander?" He asked, closing the filthy book. Having touched it and seen what's inside he felt dirty. Dirty, disgusted, and angry. So very angry. But more than anything he felt heartbroken. His precious boy had touched this. Read this. And it had hurt him.
"I can't get it out of my head." Alec said. "Every time I close my eyes it's there."
"I can see that." He said, nodding yes. With his boy's eidetic memory, he could quite literally be able to see it. Every horrific page.
"What is it, baby?" Izabella asked, a ball of dread sitting solidly in her belly. She had never seen her boy look so green. Or her grandson so pale.
"History. You're not to touch this book, momma." He said, his tone brooking no arguments. She's an omega and had seen enough of the Clave's horrors in her life. He'd be damned if he was going to let her see anymore. He'd burn the book before he'd let her touch it.
But his boy's an omega too. He'd read the Lightwood book and now knew of every atrocity that was committed against his ancestors in minute detail, including Gideon Lightwood. He just wished that he'd gotten his hands on it before his son had. Then neither of them would have ever laid eyes on it.
"Jia, where did you get this?" He asked.
"It was in the vault." Jia said. "I grabbed it when I was there."
"And there was a Penhallow book." He stated.
"Yes." She said. "From what I could see it looked like there was a book for every Shadowhunter family in recorded history. I thought...I thought that no matter what happened with this war that the books couldn't stay hidden. They have to come to light."
He nodded yes. As much as he hated the thought of anyone else ever seeing it, he knew that she was right. Win or lose, the Shadow World needed to know the full truth, a truth that couldn't be denied.
"Robert?" Cat asked, reaching for the book that she never would have touched the first time had she known what it was. But after seeing her mate's reaction to it she knew that she had to. To help her boy, she had to.
Robert hesitated. He didn't want his mate to see the book any more than he wanted his mother to, any more than he wanted his children to. But he knew that she needed to see it to understand what had been eating at their boy so she could help him. With great regret he slid the book back to her.
Cat knew the moment that she touched the book that she'd been right the first time. It truly was evil. Bracing herself the best she could he opened the Lightwood book.
"Oh, sweetie." She said, looking up at her sweet boy. It had only taken looking at the first page for her to understand.
"Robert, you may not want momma to see it, but I'd like to." Gideon said. "Whatever it is if it's Lightwood history I need to know what it is."
"You really don't want to see it, Gideon." Robert said. "It'll haunt you. I promise you that."
"Your daughter's an omega, right?" Jia asked. Her beautiful Aline had told her how it was known that the little Lightwood, Madison Grace Lightwood, would present as an omega. Apparently, all Lightwood's with Alec's and Izabella's crystal blue eyes, with the precious little girl's eyes, presented as omegas and had for as far back as anyone knew.
"She will be, yes." Gideon said.
"Then you don't need to see it." She said. "My baby's going to present as an omega and after what I read in the Penhallow book...what I read haunts my dreams. For every horror I read it's my baby's face that I see."
"Trust me, Gideon." Robert said, hoping that for once that his little brother would listen. "If I could turn back time and get to this book before Alexander did, he never would have laid eyes on it."
"Okay." Gideon said, nodding yes. If his brother's friend Jia who was the mother of a future omega and his brother who was both the father of an omega and the son of one said that he didn't need to see it, being the father of a future omega himself he had to trust their judgement.
"Cat? May I?" Luke asked. He'd seen his best friend's and his mate's reactions to the Lightwood book, so he knew that what he was asking to see was going to be bad. That it was going to be horrible. But he needed to know what had been affecting Alec so badly. It was his job to look after him and to do that he needed all the facts.
"Of course." Cat said, sliding the book across the table to him. "It's not pleasant, Luke."
Luke nodded yes, opening the book. All it took was a look at the first page for him to reach a level of hatred that he'd never thought possible. He'd only ever hated one thing in his life. He wasn't a man who as a general rule harbored hatred. But there was one thing that he would hate with every breath he took until his dying day. The Clave.
Every time he thought that he couldn't hate the Clave any more than he already did something came along and proved him wrong. And this was just one more thing that had come along. He understood completely why Robert hadn't wanted his mother or brother to read the book and why if he could turn back time Alec never would have laid eyes on it.
He was looking at a detailed accounting of what had been done to the Lightwood's of the past. Centuries worth of Lightwood's. And not just omegas, but their families too. Their mates and children. 'Their children.' He thought. And Alec, an omega, had read it all.
He'd known since Alec was a child that he had an eidetic memory. He was literally capable of remembering every horrific page in perfect detail and knowing that he understood what had happened to his favorite patient the day before and now all of the why.
In less than a week he'd almost died, he'd had a visit from a dead ancestor who had offered him a way to protect his parabatai that had been rejected which had to have hurt. He'd been hit with four visions, had relieved horrific childhood traumas and had read this. Those were some serious mental, emotional, and physical traumas. It had only been a matter of time before it all came crashing down on him. How he'd held it together for so long he couldn't fathom. People had gone insane over far less.
He didn't know much about the Clave's 'vault'. Only that it held The Book of The Red as they had come to call it, the book where Imogen Herondale wrote the names of new omegas before they presented. The book that showed Alec through his visions who would need their help.
Jia's words were ringing in his ears. 'A book for every known Shadowhunter family in recorded history.' That she'd found a Penhallow book. That meant that there was a book of his own. That meant that there was a Greymark book in there somewhere.
"This explains a lot, kiddo." He said, finally shutting the filthy book. It was taking everything he had not to be sick.
"Would somebody like to tell us what that is?" Jace asked.
"No." Alec said. "Just...no." He said. He'd wanted to give them the chance to choose rather or not they looked at the book, but the thought of any of it being in his family's head, the thought of any of them seeing what he'd seen, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stand it.
"Whatever it is, Alec, we have a right to know too." Clary said.
"You're brother's right. None of you are to lay hands on this book. Promise me." Robert said. He'd be damned if his other children were going to see what he'd just seen, if they would see what had hurt their brother so badly. They would either give him their word or he would take the book outside then and there and burn it to ashes. "On The Angel, promise me."
Luke could see it in Robert's eyes. His children would give their word, or he would take the evil book outside and burn it to ashes. He had no doubts about that. And he'd help him. He'd light the match.
Izzy looked at her Rockstar and saw it in his eyes. He didn't have to say the words. They were twins and what she saw in his beautiful crystal blue eyes, the need for this was enough for her.
"On The Angel." She said. "I swear I'll never touch that book."
"Thank you." Alec said softly. "Clare-bear?"
Clary could feel her parabatai's bone deep desire for none of them to see what was in the Lightwood book and in feeling it, she couldn't deny him. She'd felt his pain the night before, or at least a fraction of it, and that he wanted to spare her more. And the book is 'more'.
For as far back as she could remember he'd been there for her, watching over and protecting her. He'd told her just days before that it was his job to watch over and protect them. While she'd told him then that those days were over and that they should share the load, she knew then that there were still going to be times when they would still need him to do what he'd always done, that they would still need him to watch over and protect them. And this was one of those times.
"I swear on The Angel." She said, giving her parabatai's hand another light squeeze. "For you, I swear that I'll never touch that book."
He nodded yes, giving her hand a light squeeze of his own.
"Jace? Si?" He asked.
"You've always led us, Alec. You've always watched over and protected us." Simon said, not knowing that his words mirrored Clary's thoughts. "So, if this book is as bad as everyone says it is I swear on The Angel, I won't touch it."
"That book hurt you, bro. Whatever it is, if us reading it is going to hurt you more then I give my word." Jace said. "On The Angel I swear that I won't touch it. I can't hurt you that way. I won't."
"Thank you." Alec said, relief coursing through him. He'd done what he'd known in his heart that he'd needed to do. He'd stopped keeping the book a secret. And he'd gotten what he'd prayed for. His team wasn't going to read it. They weren't going to be hurt by it and they would have been hurt. They would have been hurt because of him because he's an omega. And despite what his Clare-bear had said at the pond there were going to be times when it was still his job to watch over and protect them. "Alpha?" He asked his precious warlock.
Magnus snapped his fingers, the Lightwood book disappearing from the table. He'd sent it back to the Spiral Labyrinth where it could rest with The Omega Chronicles. He was relieved. While his Shadowhunter hadn't wanted to keep the book a secret, he hadn't wanted his family to read it. And he'd gotten his wish, they'd all given their words that they wouldn't and knowing that they wouldn't was at least one weight off his young love's shoulders.
"So, this book is what happened?" Izzy asked. "It's what made you so sick?"
"No, Iz. Did it play a part? Sure." Alec said. "But mostly I just wasn't strong enough."
"Stop it." Luke snapped. He'd never snapped at his favorite patient, at any of the kids, but he wasn't about to let Alec lay this on himself. Any of it. He would be damned if he let him feel weak. He'd felt that way his entire life despite all he'd been through and done and it was time that stopped. "Don't you do that. Don't you look at what happened as you in some way being weak."
"He's right, sweetie. You held up longer than I think anyone else would have. And it wasn't just the book that got to you. In less than a week you almost died. You had a visitor from a dead ancestor who'd offered you what I know you've been aching for, a way to protect your parabatai. And it was rejected." Cat said, unknowingly speaking Luke's thoughts. "I know that hurt.
I was there that night. You'd nearly bled to death just hours before, but you didn't care about that. You didn't care about yourself. All you could think of was Clary. You were hurting badly. Deeply. People don't recite the parabatai oath as they're falling asleep if they're not in pain and in fear for their parabatai's life and you were.
I know that you don't remember but your father and I portaled back to Haven six times to check on her just to try and reassure you that she was okay.
Toss in the trauma of that book which was both a mental and emotional trauma and the physical effects of two back to back visions after already having two in less than a week...sweetie, this was all going to come crashing down on you. It was only a matter of time and it finally hitting you doesn't in any way make you weak."
Izzy climbed up from the table and walked around it to her big brother.
"Look at me." She said, lifting his chin to meet her eyes. "You are not weak. You have never been weak, and you never will be. Do you know why?"
"Why?" Alec asked softly. If his baby sister had that answer he needed to know it.
"Because you're Rockstar." She said. "You always have been, and you always will be. You are the strongest of the strong, big brother. But even the strongest of the strong can get knocked down. But do you know what makes the strongest of the strong the strongest of the strong?"
"No." He said.
"They're the strongest of the strong because no matter what happens they always get back up." She said. "That's something that you're pretty good at. Getting back up. And you always get back up. It's just sometimes that getting back up takes a little time. Rockstar's can be hurt too."
"Couldn't have said it better myself." Clary said.
'Finally.' Luke thought for the second time since this meeting had started. Someone had finally said the words that Alec had so desperately needed to hear.
"Now it's time you go take a little time to get some rest so you can get back up." Izzy said, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.
"Okay." Alec said softly, warmed by his Izzy'Diz's words. "But someone's going to have to help me because I'm really sleepy."
"You got it." She said, pressing another soft kiss to his forehead.
_________________
"There you go, sweetheart." Magnus said as he gently guided his Shadowhunter down onto their bed.
"I don't like this." Alec said, his mind feeling floaty.
"I know, love. But it was one of Catarina's conditions." He said, brushing a lock of soft raven hair out of his angel's very sleepy eyes. "And it's not like it's forever."
"I don't like that either." Alec said, frowning at the medical equipment beside the bed. He didn't like the heart monitor or the IV pump or the oxygen tanks.
"I know." He said, following his gaze. "But that was a condition too."
"She's been wanting to bring that stuff in here for a long time. You know that, right?" Alec asked.
"I suspect you're right about that." He said, sitting down beside his love. "But it's easier than bringing it in when necessary and it will give you what you want. To stay out of the clinic as much as possible. Do you want to tell me why you hate the clinic so much?"
"I hate all those places. Clinics and infirmaries." Alec said. "They all have this...smell. And the same sounds. Beeps and hums and hisses.
I don't know. I guess...every time I'm in one I remember things. Things I don't want to remember."
"I see." He said. He knew what his young warrior was referring to. His precious Alexander had gone through a lot of severe traumas in his short life. He knew that he'd been in the infirmary more than once of the years. There'd been several times.
He knew that he'd spent time in the infirmary as a child battling pneumonia and later recovering from a horrific head injury. He also knew that he'd been in the infirmary after The Dark War recovering from double concussions that could have been so much worse than they were considering that previous head injury. And as good as his Shadowhunter is at what he does, not everyone else is. He knew that he'd gotten demon poisoning more than once pushing another Shadowhunter and even mundanes out of a demon's path.
It upset him knowing that he'd been injured saving mundanes, it upset him because the thought of his sweet angel being injured at all simply upset him. But being injured because of another Shadowhunter, a Shadowhunter who had now turned their back on him, that made him angry. Shadowhunters who now wanted him dead for no other reason than because he's an omega.
His husband had spoken of his experiences as a child in front of their army just days before. He'd recounted them for all of Haven to hear and it was those memories that he knew had laid the foundation for his hatred of clinical environments.
He couldn't imagine feeling like he was 'choking' on 'what felt like a tree crammed down your throat'. Or the sense of helplessness that he knew would have gone with it.
"Well, with all of this here maybe you won't have to spend much time in the clinic." He said. "But you do know that you will need this from time to time, don't you?"
"Yes." Alec said, barely more thana whisper. It was hard keeping his eyes open. Luke's mundane drug was strong.
"Okay, sweetheart. It's into bed for you." He said. He could see how sleepy he was and that he needed to settle in to rest.
"Okay." Alec said, laying down and rolling onto the side he slept on. He had no desire to resist. He was too tired. In every way, he was tired.
Magnus stood as his angel laid down and smiled as he tucked the soft satin sheet and duvet around him. Luke had told him that his love would be out for at least six hours. He'd never given him this mundane drug before so he should have no resistance to it.
"Sleep now, angel." He said, bending and pressing a soft kiss to his precious Alexander's forehead.
"'Kay." Alec breathed.
"I'll be right outside. I'm going to silence the room, so you won't be bothered. But if you need anything just say the words and I'll hear you." He said, brushing a lock of soft raven hair out of his favorite crystal blue eyes. The Lightwood omega eyes, the eyes that he'd seen in Lightwood's for more than a century dating back to his daughter. He'd always thought that they were beautiful, but he'd only fallen in love with and been captivated by them since one cold winters night in New York not too long ago.
Alec nodded yes before watching his warlock turn and slip quietly out the door, closing it softly behind him.
"Why are you here?" He asked. He'd seen her silently watching from the foot of the bed, but his husband hadn't. So, he assumed that there was a reason for that.
"To see you, silly." Belle said. She'd been waiting and watching as her papa had talked to him and as he'd tucked him in. It had reminded her of when she was a girl and he'd tucked her in. "You're not feeling well. He's sorry for that." She said, rounding the bed and taking her papa's seat beside him.
"That's good to know." He said. "But that doesn't make me feel better."
"Well, that's why I'm here. To make you feel better." She said, brushing a lock of soft raven hair out of his sleepy eyes just as her papa had.
"I don't understand." He said.
"You don't have to, Alec. You just have to sleep." She said, gently cupping his cheek. "When you wake up it will all be as it should. Now close your eyes."
Alec did as she asked. How does one say no to a ghost after all?
"Sleep now." She said softly, pushing a soft warmth into him.
Alec felt a soft warmth ease into him, a kind of warmth he'd never felt before. It wasn't like his warlock's magic. Or his mom's. But it was soothing. So very soothing. He didn't feel himself fall into sleep. It was too gentle a slide.
"That's better." She said, having watched him fall into sleep.
He didn't know it yet, but her touch had done more than ease him into sleep. Her touch had healed him. When he woke up it would all be as it should just as she'd said. He would be himself.
"He sends you sweet dreams." She said softly, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. She watched as the mark of The Angel Raziel, the angelic rune, glowed and faded where she'd kissed him. "Sleep well, Alexander Lightwood." She said as she faded away, leaving him to sleep and have his sweet dreams.
____________________
Luke had to get away. From all of it, he had to get away. Once he'd been sure that Alec was settled in and resting comfortably, he'd had to escape. At least for a little while.
He'd opted to make the three mile walk home instead of using Clary's portal rune in the hopes that the walk through the beautiful hillside would help clear his head. But it hadn't. And if he was having this much trouble with having seen the Lightwood book, he couldn't begin to imagine how hard a time Alec was having. With his eidetic memory he could understand why it had been haunting him the way it had been. And why with everything that he'd been through this past week why he'd finally been pushed over the edge.
After reading what little he'd read of the horrid book he felt dirty. Stained. And he didn't think that there was a shower hot enough or a scrub hard enough to wash those feelings away. And knowing that there was a Greymark book out there only made it worse. He didn't want to think of the horrors that filled its pages, horrors that he knew would match the ones he'd just seen. He didn't know much about his family tree, but he was sure that there had to have been a few omegas in there somewhere.
He couldn't imagine the strength and courage that it was taking to do what Alec's doing. What he and his team were doing to end this war. And it had to end. It would end. There wasn't a single doubt in his mind about that. The Clave couldn't have made a bigger mistake by putting a target on his favorite patient's back.
The Clave had no idea what was coming their way. While Alec and his team were most days kinds, loving, and compassionate angels the Clave would get their day of reckoning. And it would be coming in the form of the wrath of those angels and those who stood beside them that had finally said 'no more'. And he couldn't be happier that he'd be there to see it.
He ached desperately to have his girls in his arms. To hold them close where he knew that they were safe, were they would always be safe. He'd already sworn that he would do anything and everything to keep them safe. And he would do that anything and everything without question or a second thought. At this point, the Clave didn't want to face his wrath either.
He was surprised to see his beautiful Dorthea puttering in her little garden when he topped the final hill towards their cozy little cottage, the cottage they called home.
"Hey, you." Dot said when she saw her Luke coming down the hill. "How'd the meeting go?" She asked. But she already knew the answer when she saw how pale he was and the haunted look in his beautiful soft green eyes. "What's wrong? Is Alec okay?"
"He's as good as he can he. He's asleep." He said, pulling his wife into his arms and holding her close as he could.
"Luke, baby, what happened?" She asked. She was worried. She hadn't seen him like this since right after the war.
"Um...that meeting was in no way what I was expecting." He said, finally letting her go. "What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be at battle magic?"
"Magnus gave me the day off." She said.
"Where's our baby?" He asked. His Sunshine never missed a chance to play out in the garden with her mommy.
"At Madzie's." She said. "Caroline said the girls could play there since Gideon was in the meeting with you. Talk to me. Tell me what happened."
"I don't even know where to start." He said. "I know what's been eating at Alec. What's been tearing him up inside. I saw the most horrific thing, Dorthea."
"What was it?" She asked, taking his hand to lead him to their small cottage. She was surprised when he didn't move.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I can't take this into our home. I can't stain it the way I am. I won't. I already told you about The Book of The Red that the Clave keeps in a secret vault."
"The one that shows Alec who's going to present as an omega." She said.
"Yeah. Well, that's not the only book of horrors in there." He said. "When Jia sent The Shadowhunter Registry with Aline to Alec she sent something else with it. The Lightwood book.
It's a very detailed and horrific accounting of what's been done to the omega Lightwood's and their families dating back centuries. It spells out every gruesome murder of innocent men, women, and children. The atrocities..." He started. "Jia also found a Penhallow book that she grabbed while she was there that's still in Alicante. But the Lightwood book is more than enough.
She said that from what she could see that there's a book for every Shadowhunter family in recorded history. Every family."
"Including ours." She said softly. She was more than shocked at her husband's words. She was horrified. She knew that there were more than a few Shadowhunter families. There were dozens, and that was just the ones alive today. And she knew that there were some lines that had long since died out. 'In recorded history.' She thought.
But the thought of one book made her blood run cold. A book that their baby girl would one day be listed in should they lose this war.
"Including ours." He said, repeating her words just as softly. "But Alec, he read the entire Lightwood book, Dorthea. And if just reading it isn't bad enough, he's an omega so he can relate to every Lightwood omega that's come before him that's in the book."
"Doesn't he have a photographic memory?" She asked.
"Yes." He said. "He can see every word on every page in perfect clarity. What's usually a gift for him right now is a curse. I can't imagine what this is like for him. Seeing it over and over again and being unable to shut it off. I can't imagine how hard it must be."
"I can't either. But he's strong. He's the strongest person I've ever known. It'll be hard but he'll get through it." She said, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him close.
"This war, it has to end." He said. "This can't happen again."
"It won't." She said. "Alec and his team, they'll see to that. It doesn't matter that he's an omega or that the Clave put a target on his back. Those kids would have stepped in to end this regardless because it's what's right. Those kids, they were born to do what's right. It's who they are. It's how they're made.
When I first came here with the other downworlders and chose to fight this war, to stand beside them, I had no idea just how big this war really is. Alec's already a hero to the downworld. But he'll also be a hero to the Shadowhunter World before this is done. They all will be.
I didn't know until the night Robert came and got me because of Alec's vision that this war isn't just about ending the Clave. It's about so much more than that. It's about more than saving the omegas who've been hiding here in Haven. And it's about more than the mixed species families and the new omegas that are going to present in the Shadowhunter World. It's also about their families and mates and loved ones and they're all going to have the choice and the chance to join us once they know the truth.
Alec told me that with all wars that there are two sides. Our and theirs which is true. And he's betting that some of the Shadowhunters from the Shadowhunter World that are on the wrong side will changes sides once they know the truth either because it's what's right or because a reason will come along. Some of them will join us because they find omega mates, or downworlder mates like me. And those of mixed species like our baby.
He also said that wars can either divide or unite. This will divide families. It will divide loyalties. But it will also forge new ones. It will unite races and species. New unions and families will be born from this. All that, that's what we're fighting for.
I know with all that I am, Luke, that those kids are going to change everything. They're meant to. They'll create a world where everyone is equal. Where people can love and be loved the way they're meant to without living in fear. Never again will things be like they were for us or those that came before us.
The evil that lives in today's Clave, it will be torn apart and a new one will be built. One that's fair and just. One that stands for everything that the Clave is supposed to.
When those kids are done as horrible as the past is it'll be just that. The past. Will it be forgotten? No. It will be remembered just like those who lived in it will be. But the present, the present is going to change and so will the future. And the future is ours. I think you already know that. But after today, I think you just need a little reminding."
He knew that his Dorthea's right. Yes, the past is horrible. But the past will be just that. The past. The present is going to change just as the future will. But after seeing what he'd seen that day he had needed the reminder. Everything is going to change. The Clave doesn't know it yet, but their days are numbered.
"Thank you." He said softly. "Thank you for reminding me that the past is the past and that the present is going to change. And that the future is ours. The kids will see to that.
They were born to do what's right. They were born to do great things and they have. But they're not done yet." He said, smiling at his memories. He'd known Alec and his team their entire lives and in knowing them the way he did he knew with all that he was that they were just what the Shadow World needed to make it what it should be. They would change it all.
"Feel better?" She asked.
"Much." He said, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.
"Good. I'm glad." She said. "Because I have something to tell you and part of it, you're not exactly going to like."
"Okay." He said, a ball of lead settling solidly in his belly. Why, he wasn't sure.
"Yesterday at battle magic we were working on windblasts." She said. "I didn't get my shield up fast enough and got hit."
"What!?" He asked, pulling back to look her over. He didn't see any injuries but that meant nothing. He knew very well that injuries could be internal. "Dorthea..."
"I'm fine, Luke." She said, lifting his chin from what she knew was his external exam to meet his soft green eyes. She knew that he'd been looking for injuries. "I wasn't hurt. I may not have been fast enough with my shield, but Sebastian, he caught me before I came even close to hitting the ground."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, the hurt clear in his voice and shining in his eyes. He was relieved that Sebastian had caught her, but he was still hurt. His precious Dorthea had kept this from him. She could have been seriously hurt and hadn't told him.
"I was going to." She said. "I was on my way into the village when things happened.
Alec needed you and he needed your head in the game. All telling you then would have done is upset and distract you and you didn't need to be. I wasn't hurt. Tessa look me over and made sure of that."
He nodded yes. As much as he didn't like it, he understood why she hadn't told him then. She was right. He would have been upset and distracted. And while he may be able to put his emotions on the backburner to take care of his patients in most every circumstance there was one that he wasn't sure that he could. He wasn't sure that he could when it came to his wife and baby. But that didn't change one thing.
"And last night?" He asked.
"Last night, baby, you were exhausted." She said.
"Dorthea..." He started.
"Okay." She said, cutting him off. "That's an excuse. I didn't tell you last night because I was too busy trying to figure out how to tell you something else. When Tessa checked me for injuries, she found something.
When Alec brought you home, he gave me a wonderful gift. One that I couldn't be more grateful for. But in coming home you gave me a wonderful gift too. You gave us a gift." She said, taking his hand and laying it on her flat belly.
His eyes followed her hand as she took his and laid it on her belly. He knew that his heart had skipped a beat, several beats, her words echoing in her ears. 'She found something.'
"We're having a baby?" He asked softly, his heart in his throat.
"Yes, Luke. We are." She said.
"We're having a baby." He repeated. It was a statement now, not a question. A whirlwind of emotions where crashing down on him as his heart swelled. Happiness, excitement, love, and so many more.
"We are." She said, cupping his cheek. "We are." She said again, pressing her forehead to his. "Tessa said that we must have conceived your first night home. Cat confirmed it this morning when she stopped by and said that Tessa was right.
Magnus doesn't know yet, but he heard about yesterday so when I asked for today off, he had no problem letting me have it. He also thought that it might be good that I was here. He thought you might need me after the meeting. And he was right."
He nodded yes. He couldn't seem to form words. 'A baby' was all he could think.
"A baby." He said softly when he finally found his voice.
"Yes." She said, trying not to laugh. She wondered how many times she would have to say it. "A baby. And this time you get it all. Morning sickness. Mood swings. Pregnancy cravings. First kicks and labor pains. From start to finish you get it all. We get it all."
"Yeah. We do." He said, a tear of complete and utter happiness streaming down his cheek. "Diaper changes and sleepless nights and..."
"First steps and first words." She said, gently cutting him off. She could see the happiness in his beautiful soft green eyes. Their baby's eyes. He'd missed so much with their baby girl because they'd spent so much time apart. He'd missed all of those firsts. But those days were over and this time he wouldn't miss a thing. "Just you wait. You thought you had long nights at the Institute. You're in for a rude awakening, Dr. Greymark."
"I'm looking forward to it, Mrs. Greymark. To all of it." He said, pulling her close and pressing his lips softly to hers. Once, twice, three times. "I love you, Dorthea. With all that I am and all that I ever will be."
"I know." She said, smiling at the man she loved. "The same way you love our babies. Let's face it. You're already in love."
"I am." He said. "But you are too."
"I am too." She admitted, pressing a soft kiss of her own to his lips. "You know, Ziva won't be back for a couple more hours. We could go in and celebrate if you'd like."
"Oh, I'd like." He said, lifting her easily into his arms. He was a Shadowhunter after all and had the strength of one. He savored the sound of her laugh just as he always savored the sound of his Sunshine's. And in nine months he would savor the sound of another's. A little someone's that he couldn't wait to meet.
____________________
Alec was surfacing from what he knew was sleep. A wonderful sleep filled with beautiful babies and happy times. He could smell his favorite scent. Chocolate, vanilla, coffee, and musk. His alpha's scent. He felt his husband's strong arms wrapped around him holding him close. He couldn't help but snuggle into his warlock's chest. Being in his alpha's arms was one of his favorite places to be.
"There you are." Magnus said softly, brushing a lock of soft raven hair out of his angel's eyes as they fluttered open. He'd been waiting for his Shadowhunter to wake up but hadn't minded the time spent watching him sleep. He loved to watch him sleep. He always looked so peaceful and like the angel that he is.
"Did I go somewhere?" He asked.
"I don't know." Magnus said. "You tell me."
"I had the most wonderful dreams." He said.
"Oh yeah? About what?" Magnus asked, relieved that he'd had a peaceful sleep and pleasant dreams. He'd been plagued by nightmares for days.
"Beautiful babies and happy times." He said, smiling at the memory as he snuggled more into his husband's chest, enjoying his wonderful alpha scent.
"So, you went to the future then." Magnus said. "Do you want to tell me about these beautiful babies and happy times?"
"I saw Clary's Sarah. She has the most beautiful golden curls. She looks so much like her mother. And Iz's Ali. She looks just like Belle when she's young. And Molly's Annabelle. She's absolutely breathtaking.
And I saw our twins, sweet Lily and little Luke. They both have the most beautiful chocolate brown cat eyes like their papa's that turn crystal blue just before their heats."
Magnus' heart swelled. Not just by hearing about Biscuit's and Isabelle's children and their granddaughters, but of their own little ones. 'Chocolate brown cat eyes that turn crystal blue before their heats.' Until now his love had only seen their children with his breathtaking crystal blue eyes.
"What else?" He asked, eager for more.
"Jack and I were sitting under an apple tree on apple picking day." Alec said. "All the babies were there. Everyone comes home on apple picking day. It's a tradition. Our little babies and big babies all picking apples together. It doesn't matter how old they get, they're all always our babies.
Clare-bear was on Jace's shoulders picking the higher up apples. And Iz was on Si's. You should have seen it. Raven haired and blonde beauties as far as the eye could see all picking apples on a perfect fall day."
"Why weren't you and Jack picking apples?" He asked, warmed by the thought of a perfect fall day to come. A day of apple picking on 'apple picking day'.
"Babies in the belly. Four little ones in mine, apparently not for the first time. And Jack, he was ready to pop. So, we sat beneath the apple tree and watched with Dr. Ziva Greymark." Alec said. He had to stop there. He couldn't tell his alpha the rest. Not yet. He wouldn't believe him. So, he stopped with what he would believe.
"Dr. Ziva Greymark, huh." He said
"She'll be a pretty great one." Alec said, smiling at the memory.
Magnus smiled. From what he'd seen Luke is a magnificent doctor, just as magnificent as his family had said. One who would take great care of his Shadowhunter and their family. And knowing that his 'Sunshine' would follow in his footsteps leaving another great Dr. Greymark to help others for all of eternity was a wonderful thought. It was something he knew that he would enjoy seeing.
"She'll be a Shadowhunter/Warlock doctor who will save countless lives." Alec said.
"I'm not the least bit surprised. With her daddy as her example, I'm sure that she will be just as skilled and brilliant as he is. What else did you see?" He asked as his angel's arms came around his waist.
"Heats." Alec said. "Lots of heats. Sometimes we'll stay at home, and everyone knows to leave us alone. Some in a cabin in the woods. And one in a chalet on a mountaintop in the Rockies. It's beautiful there. Snowcapped mountains all around us. We even build a snowman and name him Frank. But the babies. There are just so many perfect babies."
"Well, with lots of heats I would imagine so. It sounds like you really did have some wonderful dreams." He said, chuckling. 'A cabin in the woods.' He thought.
"Mm-hmm." Alec said, taking a deep breath in of his favorite scent. "You smell good." He said, perfectly content in his alpha's arms.
"So do you, angel." He said. He'd been savoring his favorite scent as he'd watched his precious Alexander sleep. Fresh peaches, strawberries, and cream. His young love's scent.
"How long have you been watching me?" Alec asked.
"Not long." He said. "Just since you started to stir."
"Stir?" Alec asked.
"Yes, stir." He said. He'd been working in their small sitting area. He'd wanted to keep an eye on his angel. "I wanted a quiet place to work so I was working in here. You look so peaceful when you sleep. I love watching you. Who wouldn't love watching a beautiful angel sleep?" He asked, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his husband's head.
"How long was I out?" Alec asked, smiling. He knew how much his husband enjoyed watching him sleep.
"About six hours." He said.
"Six hours!" Alec exclaimed, sitting up. "Why did you let me sleep so long?"
"Because you needed it, sweetheart." He said, sitting up beside his love. "And it's not like you have anything pressing to do. It is the start of your rest period, so why not let you sleep? And look what you got from it. Wonderful dreams of beautiful babies and happy times."
"But...but..." Alec started, a million thoughts of a million things that had to be done running through his head.
"No 'buts', angel. You needed good rest and you seem to have gotten some." He said, gazing into the crystal blue eyes that he loved so much.
"There's stuff." Alec said softly, unable to tear his eyes from his alpha's. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes. The eyes of some of their future children. "But nothing that can't wait a little while I guess."
"Good." He said, pressing a soft kiss to his precious Alexander's lips. "But you really don't need to be worrying about anything. Why don't you tell me more about your wonderful dreams?"
"What would you like to know?" Alec asked.
"Well, you said something about four babies in the belly." He said, pulling his Shadowhunter back into his arms and down against their pillows. "Why don't you tell me more about that."
"That's really all I know." Alec said, resting in warlock's arms, his head resting on his chest. "I just knew that it wasn't the first time. But Jack, poor Jack. He was carrying triplets and he wasn't having an easy time. He was ready to pop, and he did. He went into labor under our apple tree."
"His first set?" He asked.
"I don't know. But he's only had Sebastian for about thirty-five years." Alec said. "Who's very good to him by the way."
"He'd better be." He said, already protective of their future children. "Otherwise, I'd have to string him up. So, apple picking day's a tradition?"
"Mm-hmm. A really good one. We had to buy more land for the orchard. You should have seen all the bright red apples and all the little ones out there picking them. Generations of them. And not just our babies and our babies babies. But Clare-bear's and Jace's. Si and Iz's. They're all so beautiful." Alec said. Again, he had to stop there. There was more than one thing that his alpha wasn't ready to hear yet.
"I bet they are." He said, certain that what he was seeing in his mind's eye is exactly what his angel had seen. "I guess I'll have to start scouting out new property for the orchard. It's hard to imagine that we would need more. We already have so much. But if you say we'll need more then we'll need more."
"How much do we have?" Alec asked, looking up at his precious husband.
"I'm not sure you want to know, sweetheart." He said, pressing a kiss to his husband's forehead. "You haven't fully adjusted to the backyard yet. What else?"
"Um..." Alec said, thinking. "Oh, pumpkin picking day. I didn't see that, but apparently there is one. I was thinking about it."
"So, the pumpkin patch grows too. I guess it would have to if so many babies are picking pumpkins." He said, smiling at the thought. "I wish I could see them."
"You will. You just have to be patient." Alec said, smirking.
"Don't you smirk at me." He teased. "You get a sneak peek. I have to wait. What else. You said that you saw Dr. Ziva Greymark."
"Yeah." He said. "She was teasing Jack when his water broke. Asked him if he was sure that he hadn't just wet himself."
"That wasn't very nice. I'll have to remember to scold her." He said, brushing a lock of soft raven hair out of his love's eyes. "So, chocolate brown cat eyes?"
"Yeah." Alec said softly, smiling at this memory too. "I was hoping that they wouldn't all have my eyes. I love yours so much I wanted some of our babies to have them too."
"But they have yours before their heats." He said.
"From what I knew. I didn't see it, but I knew it." Alec said.
"Good to know. Now tell me more about these heats." He said.
"I didn't see them all." Alec said, laughing. "I just remembered a few. And we are talking about six hundred years from now. I have seen a few details in other dreams though. But there is something that I don't understand."
"What's that?" He asked.
Alec pushed himself out of his warlock's arms. He was unsure how to tell him or ask him what he wanted to know.
"Sweetheart." Magnus said, concerned when his Shadowhunter pushed away from him.
"In a few..." He said, frowning.
"What is it, angel? It can't be that bad if you've seen it more than once." Magnus said. 'He knows.' He thought. "You know, don't you?" He asked, sitting back up beside him.
"Know what?" He asked, wondering what his husband knew that he didn't.
"One of your kinks." Magnus said. "We talked about kinks and there's nothing wrong with them."
"You know something." He said softly.
"I do." Magnus said. "But I think you should tell me what you think it is."
"I saw...I saw you tie me down and...I liked it." He said, remembering the excitement and intense pleasure he'd felt in his dreams. But he couldn't like it. It went against everything ingrained in him. He's a Shadowhunter and Shadowhunters aren't supposed to be helpless in any way, especially like that. Not ever.
"You do like it, love." Magnus said, gently cupping his angel's cheek.
"Do?" He asked, confused. His alpha had never tied him down before.
"Yes. Do." Magnus said. "Do you remember that day in the training room?"
"Of course." He said. "I kinda want to go home just so we can do it again."
"Maybe we can." Magnus said, chuckling. "Maybe during your heat. But do you remember when I pinned your hands down?"
"I think so." He said, thinking back. He remembered that he'd scared his husband and that he had pinned his wrists.
"Do you remember telling me to not let you go?" Magnus asked.
"Yes." He said, clearly remembering that moment. A moment he hadn't remembered before. But he remembered it then and all of the magnificent pleasure that had come after.
"Do you remember the other night? When I asked you if you wanted to try something new?" Magnus asked.
Alec nodded yes. He did. He remembered his warlock holding him down and loving it.
"Why?" He asked. "Why do I like that?"
"A lot of people do." Magnus said. "That first time I was surprised. But then I thought about it and why other people do it. Then I understood."
"Understood?" He asked.
"When a person spends every moment of every day in control, in control of everything not because they necessarily want to but because they have to...bondage gives them an opportunity to let go." Magnus said. "To let everything go.
When you trust someone so much, when you trust them with everything and feel safe enough to let them take control, it's freeing. During that time, it's so easy to not think about anything. To not worry. You just let everything go and leave someone else in control.
Alexander, you've carried a lot of weight for a long time. Most of your life. You didn't ask to. You did it because you had to. At first you did it to form your team. But after that...after that you chose to because you wanted to give them as much as you could. You still do.
Now you feel like to have to because of everything that's going on and because of everything that's coming. You just don't understand that you don't have to carry all the weight alone. But you will. Sooner rather than later hopefully.
But that's why you enjoy it. It allows you to let go which is what you've been doing even if you haven't known it.
Now, having said that, with this particular kink you don't just jump into it. There are certain levels of it that you work up to over time. What you saw or how long it takes you to get there I don't know. But when you're ready for each step you'll know.
And it makes me so happy that you trust me enough to let me take the weight off you for a while. To take control. It means that you trust me with anything and everything you have and that's what it takes. Complete trust. Trust in every way. Do you understand?" He asked. It didn't just make him happy that his angel trusted him so completely, it thrilled him. He'd lost his love's trust once and had feared that he'd never get it back but somehow, he had. And he would be eternally grateful.
Alec nodded yes. He thought he did understand. But even though he trusted his husband wholly and completely the thought of being restrained and helpless unnerved him despite the pleasure he'd felt both already and in his dreams. He couldn't stand being helpless.
"Sweetheart, this comes with time." Magnus said, gently stroking his husband's cheek. "There are different levels of this and stepping up to each one is a gradual process. So, please don't let this unnerve you." He said as if he'd read his Shadowhunter's mind.
"I can't help it." He said softly. "It does."
"It does right now." Magnus said. "But that doesn't mean that it always will. This will move at your pace. Okay?"
"Okay." He said. They both looked up at the soft knock on the door.
"Come in." He called.
The door opened, Cat sticking her head in.
"Hey, sleepyhead. I wasn't sure if you were up. Did you sleep well?" She asked as she stepped in.
"Yeah. I did." He said, smiling at the memory of his dreams. Even of the one that unnerved him.
"Good. How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Good." He said. "Really good."
"You look better." She said. "Izabella's here. Do you feel up to seeing Lydia? She's asking for you." She said. She had been unsure about asking him to see the girl. Luke had told her how much Lydia was struggling and he had been struggling enough himself. But the sparkle in his bright crystal blue eyes told her that he really was feeling better and that he might be up for it.
"Sure." He said.
"I'll tell you, she's having a hard time, sweetie." She said.
"I know." He said. "I've been there. She just needs a little help getting through it. Tell grandma I'll be there after I get changed."
"Okay." She said.
She and Magnus exchanged glances. They both knew that what he was about to do was going to be hard even if he didn't. He has been where Lydia is with his own presentation. While it could really help Lydia, it could really hurt him delving into the past again.
____________________
Alec stood outside the door of his uncle's old bedroom. His grandma had said that Lydia hadn't left it since Luke had settled her in the day before. She hadn't really spoken since she'd woken up from his sedative, except to him. She hadn't even spoken to grandma yet. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.
"Lydia?" He asked when he got no response.
"Are you alone?" Lydia asked through the wooden door.
"Yes." He said. "Can I come in?"
"Yes." She said softly, barely loud enough for him to hear. Bracing himself for what he knew was going to be a difficult conversation he turned the old knob and pushed the door open. He saw that the room hadn't changed since the time he'd spent there what felt like forever ago. And he saw Lydia sitting in the center of his uncle's old bed curled up with her arms wrapped tight around her knees just as he had.
"Hi." He said softly.
"Hi." She said, just as softly.
"You wanted to see me?" He asked, closing the door as he stepped in. He was sure that she would want privacy.
She nodded yes.
"I thought you would have already come to see me." She said, unable to meet his eyes.
"I wanted to." He said, sitting beside her on the bed. "Then...things happened."
"A vision." She said. "I heard."
"Yeah." He said. "There's a lot to fill you in on when you're ready."
"I don't know that I'll ever be ready." She said, finally looking up to meet his eyes.
He saw it there, the pain. And something else he couldn't describe.
"I know you have a lot on your mind, Lydia." He said. "I think most of it I'll understand. But before I can try and understand anything, I have to know what you're thinking."
"You mean you don't already know?" She asked. "I mean, visions from The Angel. Superpowers."
"I may have visions from The Angel, but I don't have superpowers." He said, unsure what she meant.
"From what I hear you and your team can do the impossible." She said. "More than the rest of us."
"It's true that we each have a special skill." He said. "But everyone does even if they don't know it."
"What's my special skill, Alec?" She asked. "Being able to pop out a dozen babies? That's not exactly special when there are a ton of other people here who can do it."
"Being an omega isn't a special skill. It's just a part of who you are even if finding out about that part of yourself wasn't expected." He said. "But your special skill will show itself. And maybe finding out about this part of yourself will be what helps you find it."
"How do you handle finding out about this part of yourself?" She asked, tears shining in her eyes.
"I'm not entirely sure how to answer that." He said. "When I presented it was a shock. Not just to me but to everybody. But it was a lot more shocking to me. And what felt like a second later my life changed completely. I think you can relate to that."
She nodded yes, hugging her knees tighter.
"I've lost everything, haven't I?" She asked.
"No." He said gently. "I thought I had. But in the end, I realized that I hadn't lost anything at all. It just seemed like I had at the time."
"I don't know how to do this." She said.
"To do what?" He asked. "Be who you are? You haven't changed, Lydia. Sure, your body has. You can do something now that you couldn't before. But you, you haven't changed. You're still Lydia Branwell. A Shadowhunter. You're still the person you've always been. You just don't live in the same world."
"You mean the world that wants me dead?" She asked.
"It's true that there are people in the Shadowhunter World that want us dead." He said. "And there has been people like them for a long time. A very long time. But they're not going to get what they want.
The people here, we're not going to let them. And while the Shadowhunter World doesn't know it yet it's about to change. We're not alone, Lydia. We're not the only two. There are going to be more, more omegas just like us. And hopefully most of them will join us here.
We've been told lies all our lives just like every other Shadowhunter has. But they're going to find that out. One way or the other they're going to find that out and there's going to be change.
I know presenting as an omega just turned your world upside down. I do. But you can right it. You just have to believe that you can. And that there are people who will help you do that. Who want to help you do that.
I didn't know for what felt like years that my world wouldn't always be upside down. Being stuck at the Institute with so many people who'd turned on me, it was really hard. And I thought that was going to be my life.
Then my first heat started, and I ran. And in running I found my mate. My mate was here in this world. No, he wasn't living here. But this is and always has been his world. And I learned the truth. That was hard too.
You asked yesterday if you would ever find your mate. You will. I know it. Rather he's still in the Shadowhunter World or here I don't know. But I do know that not every Shadowhunter out there will want us dead. Just as I know that some of those Shadowhunters will end up on our side."
"So, what do I do now?" She asked, somewhat comforted by his words. She'd asked to see him because she'd known that he of all people would understand.
"Now? If you're up for it, you learn the truth. Then you decide what you want to do." He said. "You have choices now. Choices that we didn't have in the Shadowhunter World. Here, you can be whatever you want to be. You can start over if you want. You don't have to be a Shadowhunter.
And if you do decide that being a Shadowhunter is what you still want to be, if you want you can help us prepare for this war. But before you make any decisions you need to hear the truth. The whole truth."
She nodded yes. She understood. Being a Shadowhunter had always been who she was. It was what she'd been raised to be, and she thought that maybe it was still what she wanted to be.
"My parents." She said. "After you presented my parents made it clear how they felt about omegas. They don't think highly of them."
"Yeah." He said. "There's going to be a lot of that."
"Your father's here. But Mayrse...." She started, trailing off.
"Doesn't care for omegas either." He said when she didn't finish. "But my dad? He's great. I never thought he and I would be close. I never thought we could be. Everything he was in New York was an act. If you can believe it, he was actually born here with my uncle. You haven't really met him yet, but he can be a real ass."
"I glad you have your dad now." She said. "And Izabella. She seems pretty great."
"She is." He said. "Sometimes I still can't believe that I have a grandma. I know that you don't have your family, maybe someday that will change. People's views can change. Who knows, theirs might. But that doesn't mean that you can't have family.
Since I was eight years old, I had my team. They were my family. I didn't just have Iz for a sister. I had Clary too. And I didn't just have Jace for a brother, I had Si.
My point is that you can create your own family. Build your own. But you can't start to do that if you stay in this room. I know that you're probably not ready to leave it quite yet and that's okay. But when you are...well, you can have a fresh start. A new life. Be it as a Shadowhunter or whatever else it is you decide that you want to be.
And you're not alone. You already have friends. Friends that know the world you just left behind. And you can make more friends. Friends from the world you just stepped into."
She nodded yes. A weight had just been lifted from her heart. 'There's hope.' She thought.
"I do have a question." She said.
"I'll do my best to answer it." He said, unable to hide his smile. He could tell by the change in her eyes that he'd said something right. When he'd come in her eyes had looked lifeless. Now he saw life again.
"Why is Dr. Greymark here?" She asked. "I know he left New York. I just don't know why."
"I think that's a question you need to ask him." He said. "And I'm sure he'll be happy to answer it. But that one's for him."
"Okay. I think I'm ready to talk to Izabella now. Then maybe a bit later, hear some of those truths." She said. "Maybe. I'm still a little brain friend."
"I get that too." He said, gently cupping her cheek. "You're going to be okay you know."
"I think you might be right." She said, warmed by his gentle touch. 'Always so kind.' She thought.
"I'll send grandma in." He said, climbing up. "Do you need anything?"
"Um..." She started, unsure how to ask or even unsure how she'd get it. "Some clean clothes?"
"Not a problem." He said. "Having a bunch of warlocks that can summon things around comes in pretty handy. I'll go get grandma and see if I can't find somebody to get you those clothes."
"Hey, Alec." She said as he turned to leave.
"Yeah?" He asked, looking back at her. At the girl he used to know.
"Thank you." She said softly.
"No thanks necessary." He said. "Grandma shouldn't be long. I'll try and talk her into bringing you some of her apple cobbler. It's amazing. Despite the carbs." He said, making her laugh. 'She's going to be okay.' He thought as he walked out the door, closing it softly shut behind him.
____________________
Alec stepped out of his grandma's small blue cottage, closing the door behind him. He hoped that his conversation with Lydia really had helped her as much as he thought it had. And he was glad that she was ready to talk to grandma.
Turning he saw his favorite little Lightwood standing across from him on the small porch. What he saw broke his heart. Her quivering chin and the unshed tears in her sparkling crystal blue eyes made him want nothing more than to hold her in his arms. But before he could utter a word, he caught his flying cousin and wrapped his arms as tightly around her as she was him.
"Hey, it's okay." He said softly, hoping to comfort her. Her hot tears on his neck were tearing him apart. "It's okay." He soothed.
"You were sick." Madzie sobbed. "Really sick."
"I know, sweet pea." He said, sitting on a chair at his grandma's small porch table, holding her securely in his arms. "I know. But I'm better now. All better."
"He hurts you." She hiccupped. "The Angel hurts you and makes you sick. I hate him."
"Hey, don't say that." He said, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. "The Angel doesn't hurt me, not on purpose. He doesn't want to. You shouldn't hate him." He said, schooling his voice to keep it soft and gentle the way Luke always does.
"But I do." She said, snuggling into his neck as she sniffled. "He's mean and he hurts you."
"Madz." He said, unsure how to put what he needed to say into words that she would understand. Words a sweet and innocent six year old angel baby would understand. "The Angel is really very good. I know that it might not seem that way, but he is.
When he shows me things, is it hard? Yes. Does it make me feel not so good? Yes. But I know that he doesn't like that. He doesn't make me feel bad on purpose. Does that make it any less hard? No. But the things he shows me, they're important. So very important."
"I don't care." She said, wrapping her arms tighter around him. "You still get sick. And you got really, really sick."
"I did." He said, pressing another soft kiss to the top of her head. "But it wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. Did it feel good when he showed me Dr. Luke and Ms. Lydia? No. But it was important that he did. If he hadn't then we wouldn't have known that we had to go save them. If he hadn't the Clave would have hurt them. You know that don't you?"
She nodded yes, still sniffling.
"And after The Angel showed me that, I got better just like I always do." He said. "But after a few days I started feeling not so good and that had nothing to do with him or the things he shows me. You know what it's like to get sick, right?"
She nodded yes.
"Well, I got sick and before I could get better, he had to show me something else really important. You know that he shows me people, people we need to help and protect, don't you?"
"Yes." She said softly.
"And that if he didn't show me those people that the Clave would hurt them just like they would have hurt Dr. Luke and Ms. Aline and Ms. Lydia."
"Mm-hmm." She said.
"Well, we have to save them, don't we? Don't we have to keep them safe even when it's hard?"
"Yes." She said, her small head resting on his chest. Hearing his heartbeat was somehow comforting. "But you were really sick."
"I know." He said. "But I know that he wasn't trying to hurt me or make me sick when he knew that I already didn't feel good. And he had to show me Ms. Jia. If he hadn't, she wouldn't be here. The Clave, they were right outside her door and if he hadn't shown me that when he did, we wouldn't have been able to save her.
I won't lie, seeing something else so soon after the first thing he showed me was really hard. But he really did have to. Like I said, I know that he wasn't trying to hurt me. It's just...things were already not so good and that wasn't his fault.
You know that Dr. Luke and Ms. Cat took care of me all day and all night, right?"
"Mm-hmm." She said, nodding yes again.
"But did you know that The Angel took care of me too?" He asked.
She nodded no.
"Well, he did." He said, pressing yet another soft kiss to the top of her head. "He sent his special angel magic to help me. To make me better. And guess what? It did."
"He did?" She asked, looking up at him.
"He did." He said, gently cupping her tear streaked cheek. "He sent his special angel magic to make me all better. And he sent a message. He said that he was sorry.
I need you to try and understand something, sweet pea. Sometimes things are going to be hard after he shows me things and I'm not always going to feel too good, but that doesn't make him mean or bad. And you shouldn't hate him. I know I don't."
"You don't?" She asked.
"No." He said, gazing into the beautiful crystal blue eyes that matched his own. "I don't. He wants me to help people. And I want to help them. I want to help them even if it means that I have to hurt a little bit for a while and maybe not feel good if that's what it takes for him to show me who they are so I can help them.
Doing the right thing isn't always easy, sweet pea. But I know that whenever he needs to help me, he will. I know that because he already has. When he made me better, that wasn't the first time that he's helped me."
"It isn't?" She asked.
"Nope." He said. "It isn't. He's helped me bunches of times. So please don't be mad at him for something that wasn't his fault. And please don't hate him.
I know that it can be hard when you see something bad happening to someone you love. But sometimes bad things just happen. Had I not already been feeling bad things wouldn't have been as bad as they were. And that's not anyone's fault. Not even his. Okay?"
"Okay." She said, nodding yes. If her Alec wasn't mad at The Angel, she knew that she shouldn't be. If he trusted The Angel, she would try and trust him too.
"So, what do you think? Do you think you can maybe not be mad at him anymore?" He asked.
She nodded yes.
"And do you think that maybe you really don't hate him?" He asked.
"I don't hate him." She said, realizing that she didn't. She'd just been mad at him for hurting her favorite Lightwood.
"Good girl." He said, pressing a soft kiss to her nose. "Now, why don't you finish telling me about our tea party."
"We're still having it?" She asked, her sparkling blue eyes lighting up.
"Of course, we are." He said. "Do you have your pretty dress?"
"Mm-hmm." She said.
"Can I see it?" He asked.
"Nope." She said, shaking her head no. "Not 'til the party."
"Awe." He said, feigning disappointment.
"Ziva has one too." She said. "Her daddy's coming with her so she's really happy."
"I'm sure she is." He said. "She didn't get to do much with him when we were in New York."
"I know. She missed him." She said softly. She knew how much Ziva had been missing her daddy. She'd cried a lot when there weren't any grownups around.
"I know she did." He said. "And I know that he missed her bunches and bunches. So, what do you think? Do you like him?"
"Yeah. He's nice." She said. She'd been unsure if Dr. Luke was a good Shadowhunter when he'd first come. Her tummy had told her that he was, but she hadn't known for sure. Now she did know. He was a good Shadowhunter like her Alec.
"I told you that he was." He said.
"But he's not dressing up for the party." She said, pouting. "Everyone else is dressing up. But he's not."
"Is that so?" He asked, arching his brows. "We'll just have to see about that. Are Ms. Aline and Ms. Jia coming?"
"Mm-hmm. They're really nice too." She said.
"See? I told you that not all Shadowhunters are bad." He said, holding her close.
"I know." She said, feeling safe and secure in his arms. He always made her feel safe and secure. As scary as is it was having Shadowhunters coming here, she knew that he wouldn't bring any that weren't good. If he says that they're good, she knows that they're good just like Dr. Luke, Ms. Aline, and Ms. Jia are. "What's a crumpet?"
"A crumpet?" He asked, surprised by the change in direction.
"Mm-hmm." She said. "Uncle Magnus said we're having them at the tea party. We're having real tea and cookies that he calls biscuits and everything. But I don't know what a crumpet is."
"Well then, I guess we'll find out." He said, smiling at his favorite little Lightwood. He was glad that she was feeling better. "Now let's go see what we can do about getting Ziva's daddy to dress up for our party."
"Okay." She said happily, climbing off his lap. She felt better. She knew that if they were still having their tea party that he really was all better. Taking his hand in hers they walked together down the steps of their grandma's porch.
Magnus could only watch his Shadowhunter and his little cousin as they walked away. He hadn't meant to overhear their conversation. He'd just been looking for his angel. He knew that he shouldn't have stayed and listened, but he hadn't been able to walk away. 'The Angel sent his special angel magic to make me better.' He thought. Isabelle's words from that morning echoed in his ears. 'She's The Angel's messenger.'
In that moment he couldn't help but wonder if maybe it wasn't another little Lightwood who may have played a part in making his love feel better too.
____________________
Alec sat at the kitchen island trying to force down the last little bit of his chicken salad. A very large salad. His mom had piled it high with chicken, eggs, bacon, and cheese. It was far more than he would usually eat, but he'd promised her that he would eat it all. And that he would try the pasta salad which he had to admit was pretty good.
He knew when the door started to open that it was his warlock. He always knew when it was the man he loved.
"Hi there, hansom." He said as his husband closed the door behind him.
"Hi back, beautiful. I see someone made sure you ate." Magnus said, smiling at his young love. He was glad to see that he was eating. He'd barely touched his breakfast.
"Mm-hmm." He hummed, swallowing the last bite of his salad.
"Would you like seconds?" Magnus asked, already knowing that he wouldn't. Catarina had told him how high she'd piled his Shadowhunter's plate, far more than he would usually eat, and that he'd had promised her that he would finish it. And his love always kept his promises.
"I'm good, thanks." He said, finishing off the last of his water. He regretted it immediately. He thought he might be sick his stomach was so full.
"Eat too much?" Magnus asked, climbing sitting on a stool beside him. He didn't have to look hard to see that his young warrior was better. Much better. While he always had a porcelain pale complexion, he wasn't sickly pale the way he'd been that morning. And he was holding himself as he always did. Like the strong and capable Shadowhunter that he is. But he'd expected no less. Not after what he'd heard, well, overheard which was all that was keeping Catarina and Luke away.
"A bit." He said, knowing that his husband was 'discreetly' looking him over. His alpha thought he didn't notice it when he did that, but he did. He's a Shadowhunter. It was his job to notice things.
He suspected that his warlock thought that he didn't know that he'd been standing around the corner of his grandma's cottage and that he'd heard every word he'd said to his favorite little Lightwood.
"I see that you're feeling better." Magnus said, unsure how to broach the subject of what he'd heard earlier that afternoon. "How's Madzie?"
"She's good. She's doesn't know what a crumpet is, but I guess she'll find out tomorrow. She's really excited about her tea party." He said. He knew that his husband wanted him to bring up the conversation he'd had with his cousin, but he wasn't going to. He wanted him to admit that he'd been eavesdropping. "And Ziva's really excited now. More so than she already was now that her daddy is dressing up along with the rest of us."
"I bet she is." Magnus said, chuckling. He knew that it wouldn't have taken more than a pout and a few batted eyelashes from the little Lightwood and the little Greymark to get their way. And Ziva's excitement would have just been the icing on the cake. "So, who roped him in? Sweet pea or Ziva."
"I'm not sure. They were both undeniably cute." He said. "Either way, he didn't stand a chance."
"No, I suppose not." Magnus said, smiling at the thought of the precious angel babies wrapping Luke around their little fingers. Well, Ziva already had the good doctor thoroughly wrapped around hers. Now 'Madison Grace Lightwood' had him wrapped around hers as well. "Are you looking forward to the party?"
"I am, actually." He said. He truly was looking forward to seeing his Clare-bear and Izzy-Diz in their frilly dresses. And his brothers wearing eighteenth century tights.
"Are you sure that you're feeling up to it?" Magnus asked. "You've been through a rough time and should be taking it easy."
"I'm up to it." He said. He knew that his warlock was beating around the bush and that he was going to have to take pity on him. He was just going to have to tell his alpha what he wanted to know. Well, what he didn't already know. "Do you think that I didn't know that you were there?" He asked softly.
"No, angel. Knowing you, I knew that you knew that I was there." Magnus said. "I wasn't trying to intrude."
"I know." He said.
"You did a magnificent job comforting sweet pea." Magnus said. "I didn't hear all of it but from what I did hear, she was pretty upset with your Angel."
"A lot of people are. And they shouldn't be." He said. "I get it. I do. They see everything that's happening and they just...need someone to blame."
"I'll be honest, sweetheart. I've been pretty angry myself a time or two." Magnus said. "You can't tell me this hasn't been hard. First the nightmares. Now these visions on top of them. And you can't deny that they're getting harder and taking a bigger toll."
"No. I can't." He said. "When they're going to get easier, I don't know. Maybe in a century or two. Gideon didn't exactly leave me a dated timeline. And he only spoke of his dreams in his journal, nothing else.
But as for yesterday, I don't think that The Angel had Jia's vision penciled in on his calendar. I'm fairly certain that it was a pretty lastminute thing."
"I believe you're right about that." Magnus said, laying his hand over his angel's. "Do you want to talk about last night?"
"Last night?" He asked, unsure what part of 'last night' his alpha was referring to.
"Tell me this." Magnus said. "What's the first thing you remember after telling Biscuit and your father about Jia?"
"Um..." He started, thinking back to the day before. "Pain. A lot of pain. And when I was waking up, there was a lot of noise. There's always a lot of noise. I remember thinking that I wished everyone would stop yelling. I mean, I know that they weren't, but it sounded like they were.
I heard mom talking to Luke and to you. But I couldn't tell what you were saying. And I remember thinking 'Jia'. That I had to get to Jia. Then when I could open my eyes, everything was blindingly bright and defending loud. But even with that it didn't take me long to figure out where I was. The smells hit me first." He said softly. "That's always the worst part. The smells and the sounds. The sounds of the machines, especially the heart monitor. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Every time I hear it and smell the antiseptic and the plastic of the cannula, for just a second, I can feel that tree down my throat. For a second, I think it's really there. That probably sounds stupid."
"No, sweetheart. It doesn't." Magnus said, his heart breaking for his Shadowhunter. And for the scared little boy he once was. The little boy who'd been through so much. "It doesn't. You went through some severe traumas. Traumas like that, they leave a mark. What else?" He asked gently. He didn't want to push him, but he was starting to get some true insight as to why his precious Alexander has such a hard time letting the one's he love tend to him after a vision.
"Hearing it and smelling it, that's what gets me first. Sometimes I register it before I open my eyes, sometimes it's right after. But that's always first. And then my eyes start to focus, and I see it. I see where I am even if I'm not sure where that 'where I am' is exactly. Rather it's the infirmary at the Institute or the one in Idris like after the war.
It took me a minute this time to realize that I was at the clinic. Waking up there was a first. But hearing Luke...that helped. I guess because no matter where that 'where I am' is, he's always there and I know I'm safe. As bad as I feel a part of me knows I'm safe.
Anyway, that didn't take long. I don't know if it was seconds or minutes because everything slows down.
But for the first time I felt like every nerve in my body was on edge and like I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. But as horrible as that felt I could only think of one thing. Jia. That I have to get to Jia. Promised Leenie. Over and over again even through the pain and that horrible crawling feeling that was all I could think. That I had to get up and get to her even though with each passing second all of it just seemed to get worse and worse. And it was killing me that everyone was trying to stop me because I had to get to her."
"Sweetheart..." Magnus started, gently cupping and stroking his love's cheek. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't understood the night before or what had happened, but now he did. He understood why his angel had been fighting so hard against them even through Catarina and Luke's mundane drugs, drugs that should have knocked him out and kept his heartrate and blood pressure from getting so high. His Shadowhunter had been doing what he's always done. He was trying to get back up. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
"I don't know." He said, shrugging. "I guess because once it all went away there was no reason to. I couldn't tell anyone at the time so what was the point in telling anyone after? It wouldn't have changed anything because it was over."
"There was a reason to, angel." Magnus said. "In knowing we would know that it's something that we may need to be prepared for in the future. We can't help you if we don't know what's going on."
"I guess you're right." He said. He hadn't thought about it that way, that it might happen again. But with the way his visions seemed to be escalating it very well could be something new for them to expect. What he'd felt had been horrible and the thought of feeling it again made him cringe. The last thing he wanted was to find himself in that position again and not be able to tell anyone like he hadn't been able to the night before.
"Promise me you'll tell me these things." Magnus said. He needed this. He needed his love's word that he wouldn't keep anything important regarding his health from him. His Shadowhunter was going to be around for a very long time, for the rest of eternity, and he needed to know everything that could be giving him trouble. Especially during a pregnancy.
"I promise." He said. It was a promise he'd made before, but it was one he forgot from time to time. That was something he was trying to work on.
"Good." Magnus said. But despite this promise he knew that he was going to have to sit down with Catarina and Luke. He would have to tell them what had happened and see what they could do to keep it from happening again.
But he knew that he had to stop this conversation, that he had to get this off his Shadowhunter's mind or he would just dwell on it just as he had the Lightwood book. "Do you want to tell me about this morning? What happened? He asked, finally asking the question he'd been wanting to ask all day. While he'd overheard part of what his husband had told his favorite little Lightwood he knew that there was more that his love hadn't said.
Alec took a deep breath. He'd been wanting to tell his husband, but a part of him had been afraid to. He still didn't know how hearing about Belle's visits affected him. If they hurt him, he hid it well. But he couldn't lie to him. He wouldn't.
"Um..." He started, gazing into the chocolate brown eyes he loved so much. "I had a visitor. Belle came to see me."
Magnus nodded yes. He'd suspected as much, but he'd needed to know for certain.
"She told me that The Angel was sorry and that she was there to make me feel better. I told her that I didn't understand, and she told me that I didn't have to. She said that I just had to sleep and when I woke up that everything would be as it should be.
So, I closed my eyes. It wasn't hard. I was so sleepy. Then she touched me, and I felt this warmth. It wasn't like what I feel when you or mom ease me to sleep. It was different. And it was comforting. Then when I woke up, I felt fine. I felt like myself. I didn't feel sick or tired or anything else. I just felt like me. The Angel sent her to heal me."
"Well then..." Magnus started. "I guess your Angel is looking after you after all."
"I truly don't think that he wants to hurt me." He said. "And I don't think that he had planned to send me the visions so close together. Sure, he sent me the vision about Luke and Lydia because we were short on time and needed to get to them.
I'm not sure why he sent me the vision about Jaxon and Samantha when their presentations are weeks away. I think it's because he wants us to know about them so we can start making plans, so that we can find ways to help them before Leenie presents. I think he wants us to have some sort of plan in place that only she can help us with. She's the next omega to present and we have no idea how to help her through it yet. And if we don't know how to help her, we won't know how to help them or anyone else.
And while their presentations are a couple weeks out, my heat's not. That could be up to a week of time we could lose making their extraction plans.
You may not want me to, but I think that I should be working on our plans during my downtime when I'm not training. Jaxon and Samantha's extraction plans. The plans for the safe place cottages and new housing. And plans for the expanded training areas. I know that's a lot of planning, but it's something that has to be done and there really isn't a better time to do it.
I know that no one wanted me to know that even though we know when Jaxon and Samantha are going to present that we don't know where they'll be when the time comes. Maybe Jia can help there if she knows where they might have been stationed before she left. But that's a long shot. There are a lot of Shadowhunters, and it wasn't her job to keep track of who's where. All I can do is ask her. Maybe something came across her desk about them or something." He said.
He didn't want to tell his alpha that he thought that The Angel would show him where Jaxon and Samantha would be in a vision. He didn't want that possibility to come up until it had to if it came up at all. They could very well end up getting the information they needed another way. But he wasn't holding his breath.
"Well, it certainly seems that you've thought this all through." Magnus said. He wasn't surprised. His Shadowhunter was brilliant and always found solutions to obstacles before everyone else did and thought of things before anyone else had the chance. "I think that it's definitely something that we should sit down with everyone and talk about. Maybe work out some sort of game plan. But I don't want you taking on too much during your rest period. It's a time when you're supposed to be resting and not stressing."
Alec nodded yes. He knew that overdoing it before his heat was one of his warlock's concerns.
"But thank you for opening up to me." Magnus said. "For telling me what happened both last night and this morning. But please don't think that you shouldn't tell me something just because you think that there's no reason to. It doesn't matter what it is. Okay?" He asked, climbing off his stool and wrapping his arms around his angel's waist.
His love had already promised not to keep things regarding his health from him, but those things weren't the only things they needed to be aware of. They can't share the load if they don't know what the load is, and his precious Alexander needed to get it through his thick head that he didn't have to do it all alone.
"Okay." He said softly, pressing his forehead to his alpha's.
"And please don't feel like you can't tell me about your visits from Belle because you're afraid that it'll hurt me." Magnus said. "Yes, that first one really hurt. It hurt that she came to you when she'd never come to me. But I'm glad that she did. And I'm glad that she's still coming to you. I'm glad that she's helping you and that she's watching over you."
Alec nodded yes. He was relieved now that he knew that telling his husband about his visits from Belle wouldn't hurt him.
"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Magnus asked.
"Talk about or ask?" He asked.
"Either." Magnus said.
"Do you think I can talk you into maybe taking me to bed now?" He asked. "I know that you have you worries, but we can't stop living our lives because I might have a vision. And if I do have a vision when it's not the most opportune time, we have mom and Luke here to help me. And apparently a little angelic help when we need it."
Magnus couldn't deny that he did have his worries. But he knew that his Shadowhunter was right. They couldn't stop living their lives. They just couldn't. And his precious Alexander was right about something else. He did have two wonderful people to help him when he needed it, two people that would soon know and understand why he has such a difficult time accepting medical treatment. And with what had happened that morning, when The Angel had sent his Belle to heal him, he couldn't deny that a little angelic help might be there when they needed it.
"I guess you can." He said, pressing a soft kiss to his love's lips.
"Good." Alec said, pressing a biting kiss to the side of his husband's neck. He had a sudden aching need for him. A need that needed to be satisfied.
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