I woke up with the sun shining through the hotel room window. It was bright daylight and not the soft morning glow I was used to waking up to.

How long had I slept?

"Good morning," my eyes snapped all the way open as memories of last night came flooding back to me. "Do you always sleep in this late?"

I rolled over slowly to look at the white-haired ninja who was sitting up in the bed reading his book.

"W-what time is it?" I mumbled as I rubbed my eyes.

"Almost noon. So I guess I should've said good afternoon," he teased.

"Noon?!" I let out a loud groan. "You should've woke me up! Ugh, now we're already behind on this damn mission."

He shrugged, "I was thinking we could just stay the day in the village and leave tonight. We should probably travel when we can remain hidden anyway."

"Mm," I mumbled as I got up to go to the bathroom.
I brushed my teeth and washed my face, staring at myself in the mirror, trying to calm myself down.

Kakashi and I kissed.

Just breathe, Y/n. Be yourself. Don't get weird. What am I staying? Being myself means being awkward as hell. Great.

I walked back out into the room and noticed how he hadn't even glanced up from his book since I woke up. I got a glass of water from the small kitchenette before returning to the bed.

The room was small. There was a desk against one wall and a simple armchair that sat in between the bed and the compact cooking area.

I laid on my back as I got under the covers and stared at the ceiling. It was covered in watermarks that were bound to turn into dripping leaks any day now. I felt bad about it, but this place really was a dump.

After a few moments, Kakashi spoke up, "Are you doing ok?"

"Yea, fine. You should've brought me a book to read too."

He laughed, "I wasn't even going to bring you clothes, so I feel like you're asking for a lot."

"You weren't!?"

"No, your mom brought over the bag right before I left."

"I knew it," I muttered softly. "All my comfort clothes were packed."

"You have comfort clothes? What does that even mean."

"You know, like your go-to cozy clothes for when you feel sad or whatever... Do you not have those?"

"No. I'm a grown man, you know, an adult."

"You are?!" I teased loudly. "That's news to me." I shot him a small smirk.

He ignored my comment and had refocused his attention on reading. It was unlike him.

I wonder what he was thinking? Was he feeling nervous about yesterday too?

His mask was on this morning, so he wasn't ready for me to see his face. And that was fine with me.

I wasn't much of a pusher with more serious things like that. I usually just let people come to me when they were ready.

I sighed loudly as I rolled over and pressed my body against his legs, wrapping myself around him like a koala on a tree. His legs tensed up at first but soon relaxed.

I smooshed my face in between his thigh and the mattress, burying myself into him as I prepared to fall back asleep.

I didn't want to pretend like last night didn't happen. I didn't want to be far away from him.

I smiled to myself as he began to play with my hair, running his fingers through it gently. I was on the verge of sleeping again when my stomach grumbled loudly.

"Hungry?" he laughed softly.

"Mm," I groaned, almost too embarrassed to even move.

"When's the last time you ate?"

I exhaled loudly as I let go of him and laid on my back, "Yesterday morning I guess."

"Do you want to go get food?"

"Not really."

He put his book down and looked at me, "Let me rephrase that. We're going to go get you food."

I stared up at him, contemplating whether I wanted food or sleep more at that moment, "Fine. I'll get dressed."

I got up and began to get dressed in my normal clothes, black jogger pants and a fitted, cropped long sleeve, the same as most missions.

I had been on tons of missions previously and we always just changed in front of the teammates, so I didn't think much of it. Privacy was not a shinobi luxury while working with a team.

But as I took of my shorts and started putting on my pants, I could feel Kakashi staring at me. As I buttoned them, I grabbed my shirt and headed towards the bathroom.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Habit."

I internally facepalmed as I changed my shirt and bra in the bathroom. Geez, Y/n. You literally just stripped down in front of him! What's wrong with you!?

"Ready?" I muttered as I walked out of the bathroom, still avoiding his eyes.

I was nervous he thought I was trying to seduce him or something, which I definitely wasn't. I wasn't that desperate.

"Yea," he stood up and followed me out of the room.

It was silent and awkward as we walked around the small village for somewhere to eat. We decided on the first restaurant we came across since I was running out of patience.

I was usually fine without eating for awhile, but once I realized my hunger, I had a very short fuse. It was best to get me fed immediately.

I quickly placed my order of edamame and yakisoba, and finally rested my eyes on Kakashi, "Are you not eating?"

"I ate this morning."

"Ok, well it's lunch now... Do you at least want to order something for later?"

He just shrugged as the server brought me the edamame.

"Isn't that usually an appetizer shared with the table?" he asked as he rested his head on his hand, watching me eat.

"Mm, and I've never understood why. Who the hell wants to share beans? There's barely enough just for one person. It's not like anyone actually gets full off these things. They're not a shareable plate in my opinion."

He laughed softly as I finished my rant, "Wow, never met someone so passionate about edamame."

"Sounds like you're hanging out with the wrong crowd," I teased back, popping more into my mouth. The silence returned as I ate, but it wasn't awkward anymore. Thankfully.

"Y/n?" he asked me after the rest of my food was brought out.

"What's up?"

"Are you not going to ask to see my face? Or take off my mask?"

I laughed loudly as I broke my chopsticks, "Would you like me too?"

"Well, not necessarily. I just thought you would."

I chewed on my first bite, feeling extremely grateful for a hot meal. I answered after swallowing, "Seems like a strange thing to ask someone."

"But usually people do."

"You mean girls?" I smirked at him.

"Well, yea. I mean they usually want to know who they're kissing."

"Oh, so that smooth kiss-me-in-the-dark move is one you use often?" I teased.

He blushed, "I-I wouldn't say often."

"Well, I already know who I kissed. I kissed you." I shrugged, "And besides, I mean, you wear a mask for a reason right? I figured you would just show me when you want to. Or, I guess, if you decide you want to."

"It doesn't bother you?"

I stopped my eating to look up at him, getting a little annoyed, "Would you like it to bother me?"

"No! No...No. Of course not."

"Ok, so what's the problem?"

He sighed, "I guess there's no problem."

"Ok then," I mumbled, focusing back on my food.

"It's just," he continued. "I can't read you."

"I'm not the one wearing a mask," I teased. He stared at me blankly, obviously not amused by my attempted joke.

"Geez, I was just joking Kakashi," I smiled at him. "But I promise I'm not that difficult to figure out."

"So can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you love Itachi?"

I choked on my food as he asked that and began to cough loudly, completely caught off guard. I tried to smile at him as he pushed the glass of water towards me and quickly took a few sips, finally getting my throat cleared.

"You ok?"

"Yea," I laughed a bit. "I just was not expecting that."

"I can tell."

His tone was more serious now, and I didn't really know what to think. I took a deep breath as I prepared to answer honestly.

"Of course I love Itachi."

He looked so disappointed as I spoke those words, but I wasn't going to lie. And he hadn't let me finish.

"But it's the same way I love Naruto or Jiraiya or Tenzo or even Tsunade. I've always loved him, and I probably always will. Once I care about someone, truly care about them, they're forever part of me."

He narrowed his eyes at me, obviously mulling over everything I had just said.

"So you're not in love with him?"

I sighed softly, "I thought I was, Kakashi. I guess maybe at one point I was, but I'm not sure now. I think about him and and our relationship, and if that's what being in love is like, I really don't want it."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that when I'm finally in love, I want the good to outweigh the bad. I want it to be mutual and full of compassion, respect, and trust. I don't expect it to be perfect or anything, but I want both of us to feel safe and accepted..."

I continued, "I've never had that, and that's why I don't think I've ever been in love. But I hope to be. Someday."

I looked back at him, "Does that answer your question?" He nodded silently and allowed me to finish my meal.

"Can I get you anything else?" the server asked with a smile.

"Yes! Can we get a miso eggplant soup to go please?" I smiled back at her.

"What's that for?" Kakashi asked after she left.

"For you. So you can eat in peace when we get back to the room."

"I told you I already ate."

"People eat more than once a day, Kakashi," I placed the money on the table and grabbed the togo bag as I stood to leave.

Kakashi jogged to catch up with me as I walked back towards the hotel, "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" I asked.

"Care about other people more than yourself."

"I guess other people are just easier to care about."

I set his food down on the small counter once we walked back into the hotel room and went straight for the bed.

"Will you wake me up when it's time to start planning?" I asked him.

"Yea, sure," he muttered as he sat down at the desk, ready to eat his food. He seemed upset with me, but I didn't really understand why.

Maybe he wants to sleep too? And is upset I asked him to stay awake?

"Or if you want to sleep, I can stay up for a bit? Are you tired?" I called out, making sure to keep my back faces towards him as he ate.

"No."

I made a soft click noise with my tongue, a bit disappointed with his coarseness, but whatever was going on with him would have to wait. After just a few moments on the pillows, my heavy eyes embraced the rest.