I sat quietly on a couch in Tsunade's office, listening to Tenzo, Jiraiya, and Naruto fill us in on the mission.

"It seems Sasuke has no intention of leaving Orochimaru. Not until he knows Itachi can be killed," Jiraiya explained.

I noticed all of them nervously glancing over at me, Kakashi especially. I was calm, and maybe a little too calm given the situation.

"Naruto," I finally spoke up. "Can you leave us to talk for a moment?"

"Oh, uh, sure big sis..." he muttered out awkwardly before leaving. I thought he'd put up more of a fight but I'm glad he didn't. I wasn't in the mood.

"How many tails did he get to this time?" I looked up at Tenzo.

"Four."

Kakashi sighed, "Knowing how powerful Sasuke's become, he's going to want to train even harder than before."

"And your wood style couldn't stop him, Tenzo?" I asked, ignoring Kakashi's laziness.

"Yamato," he corrected.

"Ok, whatever, I want to know how he escalated to four tails."

"Y/n," Jiraiya instantly spoke up. "Dial it back."

"Dial it back? Are you serious?" I snarled as I stood up. "Sasuke is on the verge of being Orochimaru's vessel while hunting Itachi. The Akatsuki is on the move. Naruto still has no control. We can't trust our own fucking Anbu, but you want me to dial it back?"

"Look, I understand your frustration—" I cut Tsunade off.

"None of you could possibly understand my frustration! Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto, the Anbu... all of them, these are my people. People who I have loved and cared for and fought beside for years now, and we have no way of protecting them!"

Kakashi quickly spoke up, "We've all lost people, Y/n. And we all care. Quit thinking you're in this alone."

"Y/n," Jiraiya looked at me intensely. "Have you seen Itachi recently?"

I glared back at him, "What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"Answer the question," he snarled.

"Well, I was recently caught in his genjutsu Jiraiya, so why don't you tell me?"

"No. After that. Have you seen him?" he asked again.

I felt everyone in the room staring at me with confusion and frustration. Kakashi's eyes held a flicker of sadness as they broke away from my gaze.

Jiraiya sighed, "Don't lie to me Y/n. You always get like this after you see him."

"He was in the leaf village. He dropped in front of me as I was walking home one night. It was maybe for a minute, and he left as soon as he saw Kakashi coming," I admitted softly.

"And? What happened?" Tsunade followed up.

"What always happens. He said he missed me. Then he disappeared. And no, I haven't seen him since. Nor do I want to see him."

"What night?" Kakashi asked.

"After dinner with everyone."

He sighed, "That's why you were so shaken up."

"Look," I stared back at Tsunade. "I have no intention of leaving with him. I didn't go looking for him. There's nothing I can do when he shows up in the middle of the fucking village."

"I don't know how to help you," Tsunade admitted softly. "I can't protect you from him."

"I'm not the one who needs help and protection. Focus on Naruto. Focus on Sasuke. And everyone just do their fucking jobs," I slammed the door as I left her office.

"Y/n!" I heard Kakashi running after me.

"What?" I asked in a soft voice.

He laughed, "You're kind of scary, you know that? I think you made Tenzo cry."

"Don't," I said with a smile, trying to hold back my own laughs.

"You want to come with me to help train Naruto?"

I shook my head, "I just need some air."

"Where are you going to go?"

I smirked at him, "You worried about me Kakashi?"

"I might be," he teased playfully.

"I think I'm going to go out to the water springs. Just relax for a minute. I'll come find you after, ok?"

He brought me into a strong hug, "You know you can tell me anything right? You should've told me about Itachi. I'm here for you."

"I know," I muttered. "I'm really trying."

"Enjoy your day," he smiled as he walked off.

As I walked to the spring, I thought about how I treated everyone in Tsunade's office, and I felt so guilty. I shouldn't be so rude. I know everyone is doing their best.

I undressed into my bra and underwear, and stepped into the cool water.

"Y/n Nara. You sure have grown," a dark and icy voiced called out.

I whipped around to see a man emerging from
the woods. I froze as I recognized his red-clouded robe. Did I know him? How does he know me?

"Who the fuck are you?" I growled out as I took an attack stance.

"Are you saying you don't remember me?" he cooed out.

"Maybe you ought to take off that mask."

He laughed a bit, "Mm, it wouldn't help. I was wearing a mask the first time we met. Although, it was slightly different."

I tensed up fully as he continued to approach me, unsure if I should attack or run or just let things play out.

"I'm not here for a fight. I'm here to talk."

As he sat on a rock on the edge of the river bank, memories began to flash in my head.

"Y-you were with Itachi. The night of the murders," I huffed out.

"Mm, so it's coming back to you is it?"

"W-what are you doing here? Who are you?"

"Names aren't important my dear. And like I said, I'm here to talk."

"Talk? About what?" I mumbled out, on an even higher alert than I was before.

"Why don't you get dressed? You're quite distracting," he smirked.

I blushed uncomfortably as I glanced down at my exposed body. I didn't really want to leave myself unguarded, but it seemed like he wasn't going to attack, so I went for it.

"See, now you know I'm a gentleman," he said as I finished putting my clothes back on.

"Why are you here?"

"Well, it seems my dear boy Itachi can't seem to forget about you... And it's become quite an inconvenience."

"I don't see how that's my problem," I snarled at him.

"Well, it's not, not really. But I thought a little conversation with you might help."

"I don't want to help," I mumbled out, quite unconvincingly.

"See, I think you do," he called as he jumped down from the rock he had been sitting on. "Do you know the truth about Itachi?"

"T-the truth?"

"Yes. Why he actually killed his clan?"

I stared at him in confusion. My curiosity reigning me in further.

He laughed, "Of course you don't. Well, why don't I enlighten you."

"How will that keep Itachi away from me?"

"Because it'll crush you," he snarled. "And Itachi can't handle to see you that way. He'll be determined to make you hate him again, he'll do anything I ask of him."

"Y/n," I heard a voice call back from behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder, "Jiraiya... Do you know him?"

"Y/n, stay back," he called out again.

"Oh goodie. Someone who can confirm my story. Jiraiya of the Legendary Sannin. Are you interested in hearing of Itachi's tale again?"

He laughed at Jiraiya's silence, "No? Then I'll make it quick..."

[if you don't know Itachi's backstory, you should just watch Naruto cuz like i can't do that sad shit any justice, and im not going to try lol]

"No... It's not true," I muttered out after the masked man's explanation.

"Mm, I wish it wasn't dear girl. But the Leaf Village has a dark history. You should know their ability to cover secrets... they covered up your secret after all."

I looked at him with wide eyes because it was true. If no one knew about me and what I had done, even as the future leader of a predominant clan in the village, it must not be too difficult to cover things up.

"H-how do I know you're not lying? The third hokage is dead, and I don't trust the elders anyway. You could be making it up!" I shouted at him, tears beginning to fall.

"Ask Jiraiya, he's right there," he hummed as he walked away. "Or better yet, why don't you ask your father."

My heart broke as he said those words.

"M-my father?"

He stopped and looked over his shoulder, "He was the third hokage's right hand man, wasn't he? You truly think he didn't know."

"You're lying!!" I screamed.

All he did was laugh, "I'm sure I'll be seeing you since you'll come to find Itachi soon enough. Itachi can verify it for you as well before he breaks your heart again. Goodbye, Y/n."

Just like that, he was gone, and my whole world began to shatter.

"J-Jiraiya," I turned around slowly, fighting back my loud sobs. "Tell me he's a liar."

"Y/n," he said softly as he walked up to me.

"Tell me he's a fucking liar," I snarled.

Jiraiya was silent, and I could tell he was at a loss as to what he should do next.

"Tell me!!" I screamed one last time at the top of my lungs.

"Hey, what's goin on?" Naruto called out, and I looked to see the rest of Team Kakashi approaching us.

My face was stoic and stern, but my eyes were wild. I was done crying, at least for now. What I needed more than anything was answers.

I took off at a full spring past Jiraiya and the rest of my team, the sound of Kakashi's voice calling after me.

"Let her go!" Jiraiya demanded. "Kakashi, we need to go find Tsunade. Now!"

I pushed myself to go as fast as I could, but the weight of the world was holding me down and I wasn't moving nearly as quickly as I usually did.

Please, please tell me this isn't true. Please tell me I didn't just lose the last of sanity I had left.