Sofia POV

"Oh my god! What is up with all the yelling?!" I almost yell opening the door to my room just as a deer runs past it.. wait deer? My eyes follow it surprised as it breaks the bathroom door and opens the shower curtain to reveal.. my twin.. naked. And just like that Greg is yelling gets peed by the deer then mom starts yelling because she saw my twin naked. The deer leaves the bathroom and Keithie along with dad threw the laundry cloth at it before the deer headed downstairs.

"Why is there a deer in our house?" I ask walking to dad as he wraps his hand around me and we slowly walk downstairs with Keithie behind me and mom and Becky behind him.

"I left the front door open in case any animals wanted to come in. And one did." Becky answered as I nodded holding on to dad.

"You did huh?" Dad asked.

"Yeah one crazy ass one." Keithie says.

"No, no, you did a nice thing sweetheart. Greg I'm gonna need a bat!" Dad yelled up stairs to my twin.

"Daddy no!" Becky yells back at him as I place my hand on her shoulder.

"No, no, no, I'm not gonna hit the deer. I'm just gonna massage his head for a little bit with it." Dad says causing me to hit his arm and glare at him.

"Not cool." I say as he shakes his head but starts walking towards the kitchen.

"Come on. Come on. He's right here, he's eating Bowser's food. Shhh. And he knows we're here now. Stay, stay. What's he looking at? Move your doll towards me." Dad says as he steps into the kitchen and Becky moves her monkey towards dad.

"Towards you.. towards me, and back to you three times fast." Dad says as Becky does as told and the deer follows her movements.

"Give me that thing." Dad says to Becky.

"Mr. Gigglesworth?" Becky asks and I place my hand on her head.

"Don't worry, give it to me." Dad says as Becky slowly hands him over.

"Roxanne take them in there." Dad says moving his hand signaling us to move and we move away from the door.

"Hey dude, you like this guy? You wanna play with him? Alright, let's go play in the other room. Come on. Come on man. Slowly walk with me.. I said slowly." And just like that dad sprinted toward the door with the deer behind him and us behind the deer watching as dad threw Becky's monkey outside and the deer followed.

"Problem solved." Dad says just before the deer starts destroying my little sister's monkey.

"Mr. Gigglesworth! Daddy he's killing him." Becky says as I hug her to my side and glare at dad.

"A new problem begins." Dad says.

"You're gonna have to fix that." I say raising my brow at dad.

"I'm sorry." Dad says side hugging Becky.

"Is that your bra Mrs. Feder?" The mailman asks and my mom nodded with a sigh.

"Easy." I raised a brow at the mailman who had his had raised for a high five from my father.

"Ew." Keithie says before dad looks at mom and high fives him.

"It is nice." He says and I hit dad's arm.

"You don't do that!" I say as my mom covered herself raising her hand to ignore them and we all went back inside to get ready. Once we all got dressed and ready we went outside to wait for the bus.

"Have the best last day of school my gorgeous children I love you all!" We hear mom say as she drove off making me chuckle.

"Bye mom!" Me and Greg say at the same time.

"Yeah, last day of school Greg last chance to ask out Nancy Arbuckle." Keithie says teasing Greg as I chuckle.

"Nancy Arbuckle? What's that? You like a girl? Is that why you've been taking them long showers?" Dad asks hitting Becky with the ball as she runs her bicycle around him.

"No! I'm, I'm conditioning my hair. That's all I do in the shower. Condition my hair." Greg says.

"That's not what the deer told me." Dad teases.

"That deer's a liar!" Greg says making me laugh.

"Oh come on Greggy, just admit it you like Nancy." I say wrapping my hand around his shoulder.

"You take long showers too why are we only talking about me here?" He asks making me laugh.

"Because unlike you I do condition my hair with a lot more than just conditioner." I answer.

"I heard that too much conditioning can make you go blind." Becky says.

"What? Where'd you hear that?" Dad asked.

"Higgins." Becky answers.

"Ohh, I should kill him." Dad says jokingly.

"He's too chicken to ask her out dad cause she's the hottest chick in school, and Greg's fugly." Keithie answers.

"So what he's fugly? All the guys in our family are fugly that doesn't stop us from getting the hot chicks. Look at me and look at your mother that makes no sense only in like a Hollywood movie or something." Dad says.

"Every guy in school likes her or Sofia dad. I'm not like Sofia who can just smile and get a girl." He says making me laugh.

"You laugh but some girls have a crush on you." He says as I blink.

"You're kidding." I say.

"No, I'm not." He says.

"Calm down every boy in school may like this girl but you're the one that's gonna get her. Why? Because you're going to follow my 3 step program. Number one make the girl smile, number two tell her she has a nice smile, number three say she has to go out with you that night." Dad says.

"Why that night?" Me and Greg say at the same time.

"Cause it gives her lest time to think about how fugly you are because you are fugly." Dad says.

"Stupidest thing I ever heard, and Keithie's right I'm too chicken to even talk to her." Greg admitted.

"Hey, you're a Feder, Feder's ain't afraid of women buddy that's not the way I'm raising you." Dad says as I raise a brow and crossed my arms.

"Oh by the way dad did you ask mom if I could play football?" Keithie asked.

"No! I'm scared! I'm afraid she's gonna yell at me in that accent that no one understands." Dad says.

"I thought Feder's weren't afraid of women. And FYI I do understand that accent." I say just as Bean comes towards us riding his bicycle.

"C'mon Becky is 8 o'clock and school starts at 8:15 that means we only have 25 minutes." He says as he stops next to my sister and all three of us look at each other.

"Where did he get that number?" I whisper to Greg.

"How the hell should I know?" He asked.

"Daddy you promise Mr. Gigglesworth will be better by bed time?" Becky asked.

"Will you stop worrying about it? It'll be fine I love you. Have the best last day ok? And you read the street signs don't let Bean! My god riding their bikes to school you couldn't do that in LA with the nuts out there." Dad says.

"Yeah cause thank god there's no crazy people out here." Keithie says just as our bus driver stops in front of our house.

"How you doing Nick?" Dad asks.

"My wife's leaving me after three weeks." Nick answers.

"Three weeks not bad for you, what happened?" Dad asked.

"She found me eating a banana, with my butt." He answers as I blink oh that's disgusting.

"And she didn't like that?" Dad asked.

"Yeah she got really bummed out but you know I shouldn't have done it at her mom's house." He answers. Why did he think that would be a good idea?

"You seem like you're a little extra out of it today. What's going on?" Dad asked.

"Yeah I'm a little medicated, I met a very reliable doctor at a Cypress Hill concert and he floated me a couple pill just to feel better, you know. But I don't feel better! You feel worse!" He says.

"Well this is going to be an interesting drive." I say getting on the bus while dad got in behind me.

"Why don't you take a seat and get some rest?" Dad asked Nick.