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Trigger Warning - This chapter contains mature themes and scenes that could make you uncomfortable. Kindly skip it if you wouldn't be able to handle them.
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ANIKA
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His lips kept moving on my jawline making my insides tickle. His hot breath kept hitting my neck making my stomach churn soaking my panties. I couldn't handle this pressure, this heat rising inside my body. My hands grabbed the material of his v necked tshirt trying to stop him yet I wanted his lips to ravish me top to bottom. I needed his warmth. I wanted him to touch me in ways I've never touched myself. I wanted him to explore me in ways I've never even dreamt...or maybe...I have!!!

Suddenly the dream...those flashes appeared infront of my eyes where I was sitting with my legs widened and he was-

'Anamikaaaa!!!' his voice reminded me more of that dream again when he was trying to-'

'Tell me Anamika!!! You want this too!! I can feel the rising heat in your body...the way you gasp, the way you breathe when I touch you...your body...the way it moves...it's....it's craving for the same that my soul has been craving for...' he whispered again as his lips touched my neckline and my fingers fisted tightly against his tshirt making me stand on the tips of my toes. I would fall the next second if he didn't hold me in his arms. And like he understood it his hand circled around my waist reaching my buttocks and the next second he lifted me in one go such that I sat on his strong veiny wrist pressing my core to his manhood and I gasped as I realised he was rock hard and a shiver passed down my spine.

'Shan...kar!!!' I managed to whisper as I looked into his eyes. His blues clashed against my brown eyes. When in one hand his one hand grabbed my right leg that was dangling down and squeezed my calf muscle pressing my core more towards his manhood making me gasp again. Like my body understood it all, my legs automatically wrapped itself around him landing on his buttocks making me bite my lower lip helplessly.

He let out a wavy breath as he looked into my eyes. Our cores were pressed against each other and like understood he pressed my back against the wall after gently squeezing my derriere.

'Shannnkar ahhhh!!!' I managed to squeal in his arms when his melodious chuckle hit my ears. And I hummed when he whispered 'I like the way you moan my name...my delicious little peach!!!'. Another squeeze with his strong veiny hands and I was at the verge of losing my sane side. His bearded face dug more into the crook of my neck when his manhood pressed itself more into me making me roll my eyes.

'Now tell me my little Berry!!! You still want me to sign those papers??? Not fair!!!' he whispered when suddenly I recalled his words

No!!! I don't want people to associate her with me!!! I don't want her to take advantage of this situation!!! I don't trust her one bit!!!

Anamika is someone who's just looking for her child's safety and nothing else. She'll never expect anything more in this marriage!!!

And that's when reality hit me and in one go I hopped down and pushed him away such that he fell on the floor. His eyes carried surprise, anger and pain at the same time. My eyes were also filled with tears.

'An....Anamika???' he whispered when I said

'Mr.Nayak please!!! Please stop this!!! I...
I....I am not comf... comfortable!!! You...your proximity makes me....un... uncomfortable!!!' I said without meeting his eyes and I saw that he was shocked at my confession. I couldn't meet his eyes.

'Ana...mi-'

'I don't want you to ever misunderstand that I want to take advantage of this situation!!! I....am here looking for my child's safety and nothing else!!! I am thankful that you gave me Roshni...a place in your life...But beyond that!!! I don't think I would ever be...ok with it!!!' I said when suddenly he stood up and grabbed me by my shoulders and asked

'Why are you doing this Anamika?'

I pushed away his hands and said 'I am not doing anything Mr.Nayak!!! And I think that's best for both of us!!!'

'You can't be serious??? Just few seconds ago you were craving my touches...you were a moaning mean-'

'Enough Mr Nayak!!! Please stop making me un...uncomfortable!!!'

'Uncomfortable??? My touch makes you uncomfortable??? Seriously Anamika??? You and I...we both know that this minute...I'll take you... right here right now and you won't even-' and before he could complete that line I did something that even I didn't expect.

I slapped him.

He stood speechless and shocked. My eyes filled with tears. I covered my mouth with my palms while tears kept silently rolling down my cheeks. I don't know how and when I??? Shit!!!

'Shankar...I....' But he simply grit his teeth and walked towards the bed and grabbed the papers lying there. And before I knew he grabbed the pen and signed the papers. Although I wanted this, something somewhere pierced badly inside my chest. Its like my heart was bleeding. I closed my eyes and more tears flowed down my cheeks.

Suddenly he grabbed my hands and kept the papers on my palms and said

'Dont think that I signed these because you slapped me!!! I signed them because I have always respected you and your choices Anamika!!! I thought you liked our proximity. And you know what although you yelled at me, slapped me and rejected my advances I still know the fact that you like our proximity, our closeness and a slap to shut my mouth cannot change the fact that we both have this unsaid attraction between us. Try and shut my mouth but your heart will still know whatever I said is one hundred percent true!!! Deny it!!! Run away from it but there is a pull so strong which we both cannot control. Try denying it till you can!!! Try running away from it till you can but one day Anamika...one day you'll accept it!!! You'll want this too!!! And that day...that day I'll be the one having the last laugh!!!' he said when my anger bubbled up asking

'You think this is some sort of a stupid game??? You think you are the most handsome man on planet earth??? You think I can't sustain this...this-'

'No!!! But I know you are trying to stop yourself from getting drawn towards me and I don't know why are you trying to stop yourself Anamika!!! Yes!!! Yes we don't love each other but we are tied not once but twice in holy unions called marriage in every language and religion. We are married to each other Anamika!!! You are my wife and I am your husband...we are not cheating anyone!!! We are not doing anything illegal!!! You wear the vermillion of my name, this red beaded Mangalsutra, this Dharemani that you wear of my name, this ring I wear of your name...we are married Anamika!!! This isn't wrong!!!' he said and more tears rolled down my cheeks as I said

'But you don't trust me Shankar!!! I know!!! I know what you think about me!!!'

'Ohhh really??? You know??? How much do you know Anika??? I think about you all the time...do you know that??? When you try to hide things from me and eat extremely spicy food and ask Shailaja to not tell me...I want to shout at you for being so irresponsible but then seeing you enjoy the food melts me like ice against fire...do you know that?

Do you know I like to see you and Roshni in each other's arms just that I get jealous because even I want to hide myself in your chest like my daughter does...even I want to experience that peaceful sleep.

Do you know how many dirty thoughts I have when I see you wrapped in this saree right now? Slap me again but I don't care but I would say it again...I would want to take you right here right now...again and again and aga-'

'Shankar enough!!! STOP!!!' I yelled

'I want to bite your lips, squeeze you in my arms till the wee hours of morning Anamika!!! I wanna kiss every inch of yours!!! Every day...every night!!! I want to-'

'I don't want to listen Shankar!!! Just because you married me...you don't have the rights to do that to me!!! I'm not a doll Shankar!!! When Meet did that to me I couldn't stop him...I couldn't...do anything...I cried my eyes out nights after what he did to me but now...just because we are married I'll not let you do that to me!!! I'm not a doll Shankar!!! I'm not!!!' I yelled when he looked shocked

'You think I want to rape you???' he asked and that's when suddenly I realised the words that had left my mouth.

Shit!!! No!!!

I shook my head trying to explain him but looks like the damage was already done.

He showed me his palm as his eyes had filled with tears and he nodded his head for a few seconds and said

'I thought we understand each other well but looks like the basic understanding is missing amongst us!!! We are a bad combination Anamika!!! You were right we are good parents but a bad couple. And I promise you from this moment I'm going to follow every single word that I signed up for...But before that I want to tell you once and for all

First!!! I may not trust anyone!!! For a moment I may not trust even trust my own self...but I will always trust you... because I have seen you with my Roshni... someone who can love someone else's child with all their heart and soul when their own baby is growing in their belly is someone Shankar Nayak would trust with his life. So...I want you to know I trust you Anamika!!!

I don't know why you ever assumed I'll not trust you or consider this marriage that I'll assume you taking advantage of this marriage but as much I have seen, felt and absorbed you...you are a pure soul. You are as pure as a drop of mist on a winter morning, you are as pure as the first raindrop from the sky, you are as pure as the holy water of Ganga who swallows all the bad sins of people and yet is so pure...

Whatever that bastard did to you isn't your fault Anamika!!! It is his fault and I want you to know...you and your child are not at fault...never at fault...so you don't need to feel any kind of obligations when you chose me as your husband. I know this but I don't know if you realise this. If you don't...then please understand...you didn't do any favour marrying me...nor did I do any favour marrying you!!!

Yes when I chose you as my Roshni's mother it was purely business but as days passed, as our proximity grew I realised that I like this...whatever it is between us...I like it. And call it my own selfish reasons I wanted this Anamika!!!

I wanted us to happen!!!

No!!! I don't love you!!! I don't know what love is because Camellia shattered my heart into so many pieces that I don't even know what love really is...I hated women after that incident. I took my anger on every random women like a psycho after that incident. I tried to stay away from them, humiliate them, put them down if there was no perfection in whatever they did although I know I wasn't perfect either.

But some sadist mindset would give me pleasure in doing that. And no one!!! Mind you no one had the guts to stand up against it !!! But then you were different. You stood up against everything wrong that I represented, challenged my stupid beliefs yet never took any grudge or tried to hurt my dear ones when situation brought us together.

God forbidden!!! You even agreed for my stupid contracts and conditions Anamika!!! You neither objected, nor questioned me. You were ok when I wanted to hide this marriage from the world, you were even ok when I accepted you as my wife...you were ok with everything!!! I was a fool who never valued you..

Call it my ego or my nature...I couldn't apologize or even thank you for being so flexible with all my rash decisions!!! You took everything with a pinch of salt and stayed as a rock by my side. You weren't my wife until yesterday but you did everything in your power to be my real life partner Anamika!!!

I respect you a lot!!! And I don't know what made you think that I could misunderstand you to take advantage of this situation...if someone was trying to take advantage of your naiveness it was me!!!

But Anamika...I know and your Rabji would also know I would NEVER EVER try to force myself upon a woman!!!

NEVER!!!

I had a mother, I have sisters and I have a daughter too Anamika!!! I will never!!! NEVER!!!' his voice broke making me ashamed of what I just unknowingly blamed him for...

My anger and what I had heard him say on the phone made me say and do things I had never thought of...but then if he trusts me so much why did he say like that on the phone? Did I misunderstand it? But then..

'I don't know what you think of me Anamika!!! Yes I am an Ogre... Ogres don't have their way of doing things. They are not the perfect fit in the society. They like staying aloof, they are not very social...I have all these qualities!!!

Yes I am an Ogre!!! But!!!

I AM NOT A MONSTER!!! I'll never touch you if you wouldn't want it Anamika!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!!' he said and I closed my eyes as fresh tears rolled down again.

'I may not be the ideal husband you wanted but I definitely want to be one!!!

And if that means my wife would never want me to touch her!!! Then fine!!! Contract...No Contract!!!

I will never try to get closer to you!!!
I will never try to get physical with you!!!
I will never do it until you want me to!!!

And if you don't want it ever!!!
We will never do it!!!
NEVER!!!'

saying he walked out of the room leaving me to drown in my tears. I didn't understand if I heard it wrong, took it wrongly or confronted it wrongly but I knew one thing very clearly.

There was nothing right about what happened in the last few minutes.

Suddenly it felt like Shankar and I were although under the same roof, in the same house, tied into a knot forever...for a lifetime...

But...

We were Miles Apart.