SHANKAR
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Taking a sip of my black coffee, l looked outside my balcony and today the weather seemed pleasant. I don't know if this is because my mind is at peace today. I am happy today. It feels good. It genuinely does.

Well...I am finally married to Anamika.
Wow!!! I'm no longer single now. LOL

Wouldn't lie...the feeling was so pious, so different when I did the Parikramas (circles) as we were tied into a knot forever after. She looked like an angel who stepped down from the heavens in that bridal attire. Although I'm dying to see how beautiful she would look as a traditional Gawd Saraswat Brahmin bride. I have never seen our style weddings till date. I have only heard and seen pictures. Never on earth did I think that my wedding would be the first one that I'll attend. I'm both excited and nervous.

But the moment I see her shiny deer like eyes, always confused, scared, curious yet mesmerizing I forget everything and a smile appears on my lips. I know this isn't love but there's a strange attraction I feel towards her. She makes me weak in my knees. Even today when I had a moment with her in my bedroom...

Uh uh!!! Our ...Our bedroom!!!
It felt so surreal.
I know I wasn't in plans of getting married, atleast not in real but she makes things different. She makes me want to protect her. She makes me want to keep her safe. She's such a pure soul that I have this urge to always be by her side and be a dutiful husband. The reason I married her. I don't know if I'll ever be able to love her because the damage Camellia did to me in the name of love is something I don't think I can ever be able to overcome.

She was my first love. Although this moment I hate her from the bottom of my heart for everything she did to my Shine...I cannot forget the way I fell for her. I was so blind in her love that I even ignored my business, my responsibilities towards my sisters. If not for Srishti Di, mom's empire would have turned into ashes. My sister became took up the responsibilities when I was being a blind puppy in love. Srishti Di not only sacrificed her personal life but also never complained.

She not only played the role of a mother to Sati but also became a mother figure to me. When being a responsible brother I must have thought about getting my elder sister married, I was enjoying the luxuries and spending all my mother's hard earned money on a crooked woman who was only after my money.

Omkar Anna was furious when he got to know that I hadn't informed Srishti Di and Sati about my wedding. No!!! I didn't even inform them because I wanted to hide it from them, I didn't inform them because I didn't want to burden Anamika with new relationships. I don't know what she considers this marriage as. I don't know if she's ready to accept it...accept me...I don't want to pressurise her. She's accepted my Roshni as her own and I'm grateful to her because she's an excellent mother but I didn't want her to think that I'm trying to drown her into something for my own selfish reasons.

Because I know I find her attractive. I like her proximity. I love being by her side. She makes me want to do things that a man wants to do to a woman. I see her as one hell of an attractive woman. I have the most pious emotions yet the dirtiest, kinkiest thoughts about her.

But I don't know if she feels the same about me. I know she likes it when I touch her. And honestly sometimes I can't stop myself. My hands love to touch and feel her. My lips beg to brush her skin and every time it escalates further, I am craving for more. I'm left to beg for more. It's very evident from my end that at times I lose my self control and although I know I must avoid touching her, being close to her, feeling her...the attraction is so strong that at times I can't help myself.

I like the softness of her skin, I like the way she scolds me when I try to tease her, every time I try to hold her tiny self in my arms the way she wiggles and the way her eyes widen makes me want to kiss her senselessly but then I know I must stop myself. I need to respect her emotions too. I feel she likes me but I don't know if my advances make her comfortable.

Her actions give me mixed signals to be precise!!!

I don't know if she's comfortable when I touch her because I've seen the way she runs away or she pushes me away. But the way she keeps staring at me like a doll makes me feel that she also likes it but like today, the way she pushed me. I was confused again.

I could be wrong as well, considering she's pregnant and her gynaecologist with whom I'm constantly in contact keeps saying that every pregnant woman is different. Camellia had morning sickness and I took great care of her health when she conceived Roshni but Anamika has mood swings. She behaves differently at times. She's suddenly in tears, suddenly angry and suddenly shy all within a fraction of seconds that I can't predict her behaviour at times.

The doctor told me she must be high on hormones and every pregnancy is different and so is every pregnant woman's experience. Shailaja keeps telling me her food habits are again unpredictable. Suddenly she wants to eat sour, then she asks for something salty, then she wants to gobble down sweets and when she is eating sweets, she's craving for spicy food.

Our baby in there definitely seems to be one roller coaster baby who wants to try it all. I just can't wait to have her in my arms and I don't know why I feel I'm going to be blessed with a daughter again. But before that I need to take great care of my baby's mommy who keeps switching from her Rabbit-mode to Rakshasi-mode (demoness) a couple of times in a day.

I can't even blame her for her flipping emotions because it's her pregnancy hormones and her past experiences combined. That ex bastard husband of hers was a messed up asshole who not only harmed her physically but also left a couple of mental scars on the poor girl. No woman deserves to be treated the way he messed her up.

My men are still looking out for that piece of shit and the day they find him, I promise you Anika... he's gonna cry tears of blood. I promise!!!

I promise I'll take care good care of yours, I'll never hurt you, would never cross my limits with you and definitely try to control my stupid emotions. I want this marriage to work out.

Love, No Love...
I want to treasure a person like you.
I don't know if I have the capability to ever fall in love but I'll definitely want this marriage to work out but not at the cost of your discomfort. I'll wait till you have complete faith in me Mrs Nayak...

I will...

At that thought I smiled and took another sip of coffee when my phone started ringing and I saw it was Jack.

Wow!!! This idiot doesn't understand privacy. Not one bit. Idiot!!!

Rolling my eyes I swiped the accept button saying 'Mr Jackson Martin...I thought you really understand that your boss got married today and is spending some quality time with his newly wedded wife!!! But you still have you-'

'I am sorry to disturb you Sir but it was important. I have bad news and they are a series of them!!!' he said and I furrowed my eyebrows saying

'Shoot!!!'

He cleared his throat saying 'Sir!!! It's Srishti Mam!!! She knows that you got married this morning!!!' he said making me spit out my coffee as I started coughing nonstop when he added

'Her secretary is friends with Steve!!! The reporter who clicked your pictures and-'

'How could you be so careless? I don't care how you fix this mess up but I want you to bloody hell fix it ASAP!!!' I whisper yelled at him by slamming the cup on the coffee table when Jack said

'Sir!!! Please understand....I am trying my best...But.... it seems Srishti Mam's secretary...that...fellow is really something!!! I mean Steve is an old friend. He said he will make sure to wipe everything off the internet yet...we don't know how...how that Australian News Agency managed to gather the pictures and Mam's secretary...He...He is wierd...He made sure the pictures are not leaked on the papers. Sati Mam doesn't know about this marriage but ...he informed Srishti Mam about... everything!!!-' the minute I heard about my pictures my blood pressure spiked and I lost it

'What the fuck Jack!!! I had told you Steve is incapable of handling this yet you told me that he would make sure that Anamika's and my pictures will be dragged down from the internet... everywhere...then how did this picture reach the Australian news agency??? How did Srishti Di know about this wedding??? You knew the moment I had asked for the pictures to be leaked out I was very clear that they should be off the internet and should only be on the US newspapers!!' I screamed when Jack said

'I understand Sir!!! The pictures were only a warning to Camellia Mam so she is aware that now Miss Roshni has a mother and a complete family and also a clear sign to Mrs Nayak's ex husband so they know they must think twice before messing with you. But Srishti Mam and her secretary came out of syllabus and messed up everything!!!' he said when I rolled my eyes gritting my teeth as I hated hearing excuses especially from Jack. He's my bloody best and has never messed things before. I was furious upon Srishti Di's secratary. Whoever that idiot was...he was messing with the wrong man.

'Sir there's also one more bad news!!! Steve had called me up saying... Camellia Mam reached his office today to meet his chief editor along with....a few private pictures of yours and...hers!!!' and my I went red at the mention of that.

What the Fuck??? How low is this woman going to stoop down??? She knows I got married today and even then she's attempting such preposterous things. I regret every single second of being associated with a gold digger like her.

'You don't worry Sir!!! I am going to have a meeting with Steve's chief today and we will make sure to not let those pictures come out in open. It's just that Steve is saying the... editor is a little busy today and-'

'Dont!!! DON'T!!! Just DONNNTTT!!! You are my wingman Jack!!! I trust you and not Steve!!! He's double crossed us in the past as well!!! You know what will happen if the photos leak out to the world!!! No!!! I don't want people to associate her with me!!! I don't want her to take advantage of this situation!!! I don't trust her one bit!!!' I yelled when Jack said

'I know Sir and I will do my best. I'll make sure that the pictures don't get published. You please calm down Sir... Actually I....Have another bad.....news'

Now what??? What next??? I was fuming already when Jack said

'Sir!!! Please don't get angry but our men have suddenly lost track of Mr.Meet. It's like he met Camellia Mam... spent sometime with her and then disappeared. We are unable to track his phone, neither his location...it's like he disappeared in thin air. But Sir!!! We have beefed up more security around the bungalow and also made sure a few more men keep an eye on Mrs Nayak every time she chooses to step out of the house. But still we have to be careful Sir. I'm doing my best to trace him but until then please try to restrict her from stepping out alone please. That man doesn't seem right to us Sir!!! He's sharper than what we thought him to be...we underestimated him but I promise you Sir... we will find him.' he said desperately and I was thoroughly disappointed with the series of things that happened within a matter of few days.

I just wanted a few peaceful days for myself and my family. Are they so expensive??? I regretted and cursed myself for putting my guards down and enjoying the wedding preparations when I must have been more cautious and careful knowing both our psycho exes.

'You know Jack!!! The whole and sole reason to get married was to give my enemies a message that they cannot trap this time. Neither emotionally nor legally!!! Last time I was trapped in the name of marriage...not this time. The reason I have chosen my own path. And anyways...Anamika is someone who's just looking for her child's safety and nothing else. She'll never expect anything more in this marriage!!!' I said when Jack said

'I know Sir!!! And I promise we will find Mrs Nayak's ex husband soon. We won't let him do any harm to her!!!'

'Yes we must Jack!!! I don't know about love but she has faith in me. She trusts me that I'll keep her...and her child safe... I am a father and it's my duty to protect my baby but now I'm also a husband and it's my duty to make sure my wife feels safe and has a happy pregnancy. I can't let her stress because her psychopath, gold digger of a pimp ex husband chooses to barge into her life and choose to threaten and torture her.

The reason I asked you to get her grandfather to NY and I told him everything. The man was hurt, heartbroken and angry upon his choice of guy for his child but then atleast now Meet cannot blackmail Anamika about her Daarji. I have destroyed that opportunity.

Anamika doesn't have to fear about it now. She doesn't have any secrets now that Meet can try to use against her. But still I don't trust him Jack. That man is greedy. He can go to any extent to satisfy his ego and hunger for money. So I want you to keep looking out for him. I don't care if he's hidden even in hell or heaven...find that bastard!!! And...I want you to fetch more details about him. His data...his every minute detail...I want everything!!!' I said firmly when Jack said

'On it Sir!!! And don't worry about the pictures...we will make sure no papers...no media shall print it!!! I understand Sir and...uh...Sir... Congratulations to you and Mrs Nayak for the wedding Sir!!!' he said making me smile.

'Thanks Jack and I'm sorry if I was rude!!!'

'Dont be Sir!!! I also have a woman whom I love. I understand!!!' he said making my ears go pink as he disconnected the call.

I turned around and started going back to the room but surprisingly I didn't see Anamika in the room. I noticed the bedroom door slightly ajar. She didn't rest??? We were supposed to have lunch and take some rest but instead she left the room early. I wanted to spend some time with her. I wanted to talk to her about Srishti Di. I wanted to mentally prepare for my sister's cold shoulder knowing her perplexed personality but she was nowhere to be seen.

My head was aching but I had to face it. I dialled Srishti Di's number which was switched off. I dropped her a couple of messages as well which went unread. I had a bad feeling about this. Knowing her nature, I was clear that this wasn't going to end very nicely. I decided to get some rest myself only to be woken up by my brothers. I wanted to sleep more but the moment my eyes fell on the clock I was shocked. It was already 3:30pm and my brothers decided to dress me up.

I was made to wear a traditional Veshti and a white shawl. They were dressing me up for the Udida Muhurtu and Kashi Yatra rituals. Mukta Vanni made me wear a Chakrasor (traditional gold chain with multiple gold strings usually a groom is made to wear during weddings) and I was ready. I took a look at myself in the mirror and I seemed to look quite handsome. Although I couldn't help but think of Anamika. Don't know how would she be looking as a traditional Gawd Saraswat Brahmin bride.

Udida Muhurtu is a ritual where the groom and bride's sisters are made to grind black gram in a stone grinder signifying to be taught the nitty gritties of married life and to learn to adjust with each other and overcome all the hurdles followed by the Kashi Yatra ritual where the groom who's sad and upset of not having a wife and children of his own decides to give upon worldly possessions decides to leave to Kashi to accept the SanyasiJivan (bachelor's life) and live a life of a Brahman by devoting his life to god...but the bride's father gives a promise to hand over his daughter in marriage to the groom and requests him to quit to step into Grahastashram (marital life).

The priest Damodar Mhantu got us was explaining me each and every ritual in detail making everyone laugh and chuckle. Indeed our Hindu marriage rituals are so much fun if explained in detail. I was made to perform a few rituals with Damodar Mhantu and Gauri Mhava post which the priest asked for my sister to come and apply kohl (kajal) to my eyes. The priest also explained that this ritual signifies that a sister would be warding off every evil off the groom removing all bad omens of this wedding and his martial life.

After this ritual we would be grinding the black gram just signifying man also must know all kitchen responsibilities to help his wife equally in daily household activities. I was told my sister in laws are also performing the same rituals with Anamika in the other corner of the room away from my sight.

I was waiting for Mukta Vanni to apply the kajal in my eyes as Srishti and Sati both were not here and my sister in laws have already announced me as their brother but the moment I felt a familiar hand grabbing my chin I froze and then my body went cold, my throat dried up and my eyes were ready to be served on a plate as they popped out seeing the person staring right into my eyes.

With her index finger and thumb finger she parted my eyelids and used her index finger to shove the black Kohl into my eyes making my eyes water.

No I wasn't crying!!!
Not yet!!!
But I knew the lady standing infront of me with deadpan expressions, fierce eyes and no smile at all...I knew I am going to be cremated soon.

No wonder they call her Medusa.
She's the most silent yet the most dangerous Nayak of all the Nayaks.

Dressed in an all black business suit, messy curly bun, red lipstick, red nose ... ohhhh she's angry!!! Okay!!! I'm dead.

Eyes ready to burn...strike that...grill me alive...I knew I am going to have a really tough time handling her.

After all...

Srishti Nayak has never been an easy person to deal with...

Next was going to be the Kashi Yatra ritual... maybe I should really plan to runaway for real.

Better than facing her questionnaire.

Don't know if I'll even get married. Depends on...if I'll survive the Medusa herself!!!

Please bring flowers to my grave people.
I was not so bad after all...

Sigh.

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Eid Mubarak to everyone celebrating today.

May God shower all the happiness, health and goodness upon all of us and our dear ones. Stay blessed.

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