Fanclub

"Aum... aum... aum..."

With eyes closed, I continued chanting this mantra like what I'd always done ever since my mother started teaching me yoga and meditation. Ten years old lang ako noon at ito ang naging unang bonding session namin ni mom.

After almost an hour, I stood up from my sitting position. Inayos ko ang yoga mat na inupuan ko sabay tingin sa orasan sa aking bedside table. 6:00 am. On the dot.

Nagtungo ako sa bathroom para maghilamos. As soon as I saw my face in front of the mirror, I immediately looked down.

I hated seeing my face with brown marks all over my cheeks. It reminded me of all those times I was bullied because of these nasty scars.

Binilisan kong maghilamos at magpalit ng damit. Hindi naman kami required mag-uniform sa college namin so, I chose a basic white cropped top, pleated mini black skirt and white sneakers today.

"Sure ka na ba diyan sa outfit mo, Ballerine?" I heard a voice judging my fit.

Tinignan ko ulit ang sarili ko sa salamin. My legs were exposed, and damn, they looked juicy and fat like sausages.

Agad akong naghanap ng black stockings para hindi masyadong kita ang korte ng legs ko. After putting it on, I looked at myself again.

"There. That looks better."

"But, still, kailangan mong mag-ingat sa diet mo, Ballerine."

Ignoring those voices, I sat down in front of my dresser and started to do some magic on my face. Concealer and foundation were my best friends since then. I was self-taught. Okay, maybe Youtube helped a bit.

Half an hour later, nang satisfied na ako sa makeup ko, bumaba na rin ako para magtungo sa kusina. "Good morning, Bal," bati ni Yaya Nelly na nagluluto ng breakfast.

"Good morning, ya," I greeted back, sitting in front of the counter.

"Ballerine, did you stay up late?" The voice of my mom broke my composure. Turning to her, I saw her sitting on the far end of the dining table, scrolling through her iPad like usual.

"No, mom," agad kong sambit habang naglalakad patungo sa table at umupo sa kabilang side kaharap siya.

"Then, why are you late for breakfast?" Seryosong tanong ni mom habang nakatingin sa akin.

I glanced at the time on my phone. 6:40 am. Late ako ng ten minutes dahil sa pagme-makeup ko. But of course, my mom wouldn't accept that excuse.

"Sorry mom," I quickly mumbled, looking down my lap.

"Your sister has been waiting for us. You know how important time is," mom reminded me, pressing something on her iPad.

"Hey, mom! How are you?" My older sister's voice echoed inside the room through mom's iPad.

"Brianna, sweetie, I'm okay. Have you had dinner?" Nag-iba ang tono ng boses ni mom. I was used to it. Kahit na hindi niya sabihin, I knew I wasn't her favorite... my sister was.

"Is Bal there? How is she?" My sister asked, catching my attention.

"Yes, she's here. She's okay," mom answered for me, not even looking at my direction. Her eyes were all on the iPad.

Tahimik lang akong nakikinig sa conversation nila. Hindi man lang ako pinapansin ni mom kahit na ako ang kaharap niya.

It was like, I was there, but I wasn't really there.

"Bal, kumain ka na," napatingin ako kay Yaya Nelly na nakatayo na pala sa tabi ko.

Inabutan niya ako ng isang baso ng green smoothie na lagi kong iniinom sa umaga. I used to hate it because it was an odd mixture of avocado, cucumber, spinach and kale. Pero dahil na rin sa influence ni mom, I grew to like it.

"Salamat, ya," I mumbled, taking the glass of smoothie and sipping from it.

"By the way, mom, I'm doing a runway show soon. I'm so excited! I hope you can be here to watch," I heard my sister voiced out in delight.

Of course, my mom was over the moon with that announcement. Brianna Mallorie Castillo, my older sister, was the favorite daughter. She got a modelling career in New York, doing photoshoots and walking runways.

Meanwhile, I, Ballerine Maeze Castillo, barely got into Fotheringham University, studying Theater Arts, and with no future plans in sight.

Paano ba naman ako magiging favorite? There was nothing great to brag about me.

Few minutes passed and I was still there, unseen and unnoticed. Even when I was saying goodbye to mom, hindi man lang niya ako tinignan. I kissed her cheek, but she just waved her hand at me, eyes glued to my sister on her freaking iPad.

Gritting my teeth, naglakad na ako patungo sa kotse kung saan naghihintay ang driver naming si Manong Eli. Nilabas ko ang aking cellphone para pigilan ang luhang gustong lumabas mula sa aking mga mata.

I should be used to this set-up by now. But, no. It still stung every single time mom would ignore me.

"Ballerine, don't stress. Just focus on your audition for the musical."

"Remember to smile and let go."

"Also, don't eat sweets."

Nang makarating ako sa first class namin, wala pang ibang estudyante. Masyado akong maaga like usual. Nilabas ko ang aking AirPods Max para makinig muna ng music. This was the best way to drown out the silence consuming me.

Bending my head down, I closed my eyes and let the music take me to another world.

Few minutes later, may naramdaman akong yumakap ng aking katawan and before I could even scream my lungs out, someone already covered my whole face with a cloth, turning my screams into whispers.

"Let me go, crazy weirdos!" I screamed in my head.

May bumubuhat sa akin ngayon at sa sobrang higpit nang pagkakahawak sa akin ay parang nasasakal na ako. I couldn't breathe.

I tried moving my body, but the person holding me was too strong. Were they trying to kidnap me? If so, who would want to? Wala naman akong kaaway.

Minutes later, pinaupo na rin nila ako at tinanggal ang takip sa aking mukha. Opening my eyes, I saw a group of girls surrounding me in a tiny and dimly lit room.

Napansin ko ang isang trolley sa gilid na may lamang cleaning materials. Wait, nasa janitor's room ba kami?

"Sino kayo? What the hell do you want from me?" I questioned the girl facing me.

"Girl, relax!" She finally spoke in a calm tone as she moved closer to where I was sitting which was in the middle of the room.

The girl was wearing a high ponytail, her long lashes batting at me in amusement. Mukha siyang "mean girl" ng campus with the way she stood in front of me with her arms folded over her chest.

"You're Ballerine Castillo, right? Or should we call you Bee?" She asked, confirming it from me.

"I'll call the police right now kung hindi niyo ako papakawalan," I warned.

"Girl, we're not here to be your enemies. We just want to propose a plan."

I scoffed. "Plan? To kill me?"

The girl shook her head. "Do we look like we're murderers?"

I scanned the group of girls around me. Lahat sila may itsura. With the way they're dressed, they looked decent enough to be part of the cheerleading squad.

The girl clapped her hands, flashing me a smile. "Wait, let me restart. I'm Jillian Livero, president of FU Theater Society and The Anti-Logan Maxwell Club, and we're recruiting you to join us."

My jaw reached the ground in an instant. "Are you kidding me?"

"Girl, we saw what happened at the party. You hate him, right?" Another girl spoke, catching my attention.

"So?" I muttered.

"So, we're forming an alliance with you. This is for all the girls Logan Maxwell dated and rejected," Jillian explained.

I shook my head, still in disbelief. "You're telling me this is actually a thing? Ang babaw niyo naman."

"What if we tell you nabuntis kami ni Logan, but, he forced us to do abortion? Isn't that good enough reason for you to join us?" A 'chinita' girl blurted out, making me turn to her.

I swallowed hard, processing that information. "That can't be true."

"Sino'ng papaniwalaan mo? Ang lalaking 'yon o kami?" Jillian probed, raising a brow at me.

I tilted my head. "What do you propose then?"

"Make him fall for you, break his heart and expose him in the end. This will be the biggest scandal in FU. The golden boy of FU turns out to be a motherfucking asshole."

Hindi pa rin ako convinced. "What's in it for me?" I asked.

"You'll be the main star in the musical that you're auditioning for and the President of Theater Society," Jillian ended with a triumphant smile.

My eyes flung open in shock. "How in the world did you know about that?"

Tinapik ni Jillian ang aking balikat. "We've been eyeing you, Ballerine... daughter of Beatrice Castillo, one of the founders of Ballet Philippines Association, and sister of a renowned model, Brianna Castillo. You, Ballerine, turned out to be the one that we need for this project."

"Project?" pag-uulit ko.

"Yes. The Logan Maxwell Scandal Project. So, are you in?''

Without much thinking, I answered, "Fine."

But the truth was, gusto ko lang talagang makaalis na dito sa madilim, mabaho at maliit na kwartong ito.