05:10

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When I woke up back in my bed again, I wasn't jolted upright anymore. I felt sort of . . . I don't know . . . maybe I was just in this state of numbness. There's no worse pain than seeing someone die over and over again and no amount of effort seems to be helping. Helplessness clutched onto my chest, and I probably laid there for so long – enough for me to hear Nova's knock on my window.

I got up, because in my previous loop she had thought I hated her when I didn't. So, I walked towards the window, opened it up with an odd display of calmness, that even Nova picked up on it, like my behavior was misplaced.

"Cora?" she said. "You okay?"

I hadn't realized she had been speaking the moment she got inside. "No."

"O-Oh," she said. She looked around, scratching her elbow. "Is it . . . no, do you want to . . . talk about it?"

"Don't you need a car?"

"What?" she said. "Did Dylan tell you? I swear he's such a . . ."

I sighed. I don't know what else to do. How do I keep her alive? What do I do? Nova kept on talking about how she would strangle Dylan he'd die with foam on his mouth, but I couldn't hear the rest because of stress and because I just wanted to lie down and sleep. I know I've been looping back to 11:30 PM, but in those loops I felt like I'd been awake for hours. I may not feel as tired physically, but my brain is definitely soon to give up.

"Shit," I just said, sitting on the edge of my bed, my eyes brimming with tears. Nova was even more worried, or rather, weirded out by my behavior. She must have been thinking what was going on with me? Did she go at the right time? Should she leave?

But she just sat in front of me and said, "woah . . ." After a moment of silence, she said, "Did you just curse, Miss Cheerleader?"

I almost laughed because I'd heard that every single time I cursed in front of her. What did she even think of me all these years? A stuck up, innocent cheerleader who doesn't know what sex means? I thought of this and found this so funny that I was surprised when tears burst out instead.

"Dang. Cora," she said, uncomfortably tapping my knees. She was so close to me. I loved her smell. Coconut. Spearmint gum. Musk. It's so her. "Is something wrong?"

"Listen," I said through my sniffles. "I-I've been having this terrible dream."

"What is it?"

"In my dream, every time you come to my house, you keep . . ." I trailed off. I don't know if it was a good idea to tell her that, but I kept going still because at the time I would definitely try everything I could if it meant something. "You keep dying. And dying. Our car crashes. You fall down my window. You get shot. You know? It kept on looping, and looping, and you die each time. I felt so scared when I woke up tonight, because I thought this was part of the dream again."

She stood up and sat beside me then. The scent of musk on her was so much stronger. My heart skipped a beat when she held my hand on top of my lap. "You're in luck because this isn't a dream. I'm real. You're real. Look." She grabbed my hand and brought it to her cheek, then I laughed when she slapped herself using it.

"Stop it!" I said, laughing.

"Still scared?"

"This isn't about me," I said. "It's about you. It's your death in my dream. Are you scared?"

"I mean, it's just a dream . . ."

"Well, don't you believe in premonitions?"

Nova laughed. "I haven't got a reason to believe in them, unless tonight you might want me to?"

Something gentle swept in my tummy when she said that. Maybe it was in the voice in which she said it, or in the way her eyes looked at me. It was ridiculous to feel that way, but even more so because I'd wondered how come I managed to still have that feeling after watching her die so many times that night? Sometimes it's so easy to believe that Nova Turner is magic.

"You should be scared," I just said, my voice quiet.

"I'm not, but you are, so maybe you're wrong. It's about you," she said. She stood up and then plopped herself down in my bed, her hands stretched long on her sides. My cheeks felt hot when her hand accidentally rubbed my thigh, so I just stood up. "Tell you what? I'm not going tonight."

"W-What?" I said, not expecting what she'd just said. "What do you mean?"

"I'd skip tonight's gig," she said. "It's very easy to find a new bassist around that area. They don't really need me so much."

"You're wrong," she said. "You're like, the most popular member. If you're not there, many fans would be disappointed."

"I'd rather leave them disappointed than have my skull crushed in a car accident, ya know?" she said boringly. "Unless you want me to leave . . ."

"No!" I said rather too quickly. "I-I did not mean that at all."

"Well, good!" she said, getting up suddenly. "So! Let's talk tonight. Girls' talk, if you know what I mean."

I didn't fully grasp the situation, but I couldn't help but smile. Could it be that simple? Could the key to breaking this endless loop lie in convincing her to stay? I had considered that possibility before, but I didn't give it much weight because I simply assumed that getting to the gig was her top priority. As I sat there, looking at her, it seemed that keeping me from being alone and frightened was what mattered most to her that night. At least, that's what I wanted to believe.

Her smile was big and bright on my bed, her legs crossed. She had taken off her boots and her leather jacket, revealing a nice band shirt beneath it. I felt embarrassed sitting in front of her with my nightgown, and as though she could read my mind, she said:

"Nice nightgown, by the way." Her eyes looked me up and down the way she did the first time.

"Shut up," I said through a laughing smile. "Okay, talking seems to be a great idea."

"All right, let's do fast talk," she said with an adorable grin. Her hair was almost on my bedding, and I wished its scent would stay. "Earlier today, you were talking to Kent. Did I interrupt something?"

I almost giggled. "Nope."

"Are you two dating?"

"He's just spreading those rumors. We're not."

"Isn't that a relief?" I began to ask why that was a relief when she asked something again. "What's your favorite SUPERNOVA song?"

"Oh! Wait! Uh, Tangerine Dreams!"

She flashed a quick smile. "How many boyfriends have you had?"

"None! God, Nova."

Nova laughed, shaking her head. "Okay, last one. Favorite SUPERNOVA member?"

Nova wiggled her eyebrows as she looked at me, and I couldn't help but laugh. That laugh was the best laugh I've had the entire night, since the first loop. I thought, this is better. On my bed, just Nova and I, talking about silly stupid stuff. It kept my head away from the images of her dead body.

"Hmm," I said, pretending to think. "That's a pretty hard question."

"Really, now?" she exclaimed with a sarcastic lilt.

"Let me think."

She was laughing then. "Okay then, be that way. I doubt Dylan or Leo or Carter would stay in your bed tonight because you're scared."

"I know, so, fine. It's you. I pick Nova Turner," I said, pretending to be resigning, but I knew the answer before she even asked the question. "I've always liked the bassists."

"Well, are all bassists curly and tall like me?"

"You're like no other," I said, and we laughed together. In that singular moment I wished time would stop.

"But if I'm your favorite, how come you never . . . like . . . that one time in the bathroom, you left as soon as you saw me," she said, carefully, like walking on eggshells. "You've always given me the idea that you don't like me."

I was quiet for a few seconds before looking straight at her. "S-Sorry about that," I just said. "Just to let you know, I don't harbor any negative feelings toward you. I want us to be clear there."

Slowly, a smile plastered on Nova's face.

"It was never a problem about you. It's about me. I usually get panicky about people I . . . I don't know." I tried to search for the term – the correct term that doesn't have any romantic innuendo. "About people I idolize?"

"Cora Flair, you are lying right now."

I laughed again. "I'm not!"

"Lies."

"Don't believe me then."

"I can't," she said. A pause. Then she looked at me. "You mean that, like, really?"

It's astounding how Nova doesn't seem to be aware how amazing she is. "Yes, Nova. It's the truth."

"We could've been friends sooner if you stayed in the bathroom," she said.

"Aren't we now?"

Nova smiled.

She and I spent the night in my bed, continuing to ask each other questions – mostly the silly ones, like, what vegetable would you rather be, or would you date a vampire or an ogre, but never about dating or boys or girls again. First, I was scared to ask her about anything romantic because I didn't want to ruin my evening and second, I just wanted to know her more. I think that knowing about what kind of animal she'd rather be tells me more than asking her about who her first kiss was.

"Not sleepy yet?" she asked once. It became a signal for me to check my clock and I saw that it was nearing 1AM. I normally didn't last up to 1AM in my loops so I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted in my chest. I'd take every good sign possible.

"No," I said. "I can stay up until dawn, actually."

"Is that ideal for a cheerleader?" Nova said, lying down on my bed. "Won't that mess with your body or something?"

"I can do it." I couldn't relax until I see her breathing every second. "I can't let you out of my sight."

Nova began laughing. "I'm fine!"

Suddenly, we heard a loud honk from outside. I panicked and ran to my window, seeing an unfamiliar truck. I frowned. A few seconds later, the driver got out of his vehicle and revealed a tall young man, who I recognized as their vocalist named Carter. What's he doing here? I thought.

"Oh, Carter, I'd been waiting!" Nova said and my heart sunk in an instant.

"You asked him to pick you up?" I asked, trying to not let my voice shake. "Why?"

"Well . . . there's this after party . . ." she said with a sheepish smile. "That's why if I asked if you were sleepy. Maybe you'd want to come?"

"But Nova—" I wondered how to stop her without looking so paranoid and stupid and anxious.

"I get it, okay?" she said with a gentle voice. "But in your dreams, I was always on my way to the gig, right? This one's different. Plus Carter would be here, and, you know, if you're still scared, you can probably come and . . . well, not leave my side all night?"

My heart would have jumped up and down if it weren't for the situation looming before me. "What if . . ."

"Relax," she said. She softly put her hand on my shoulder. "We'd be fine. I promise I won't die. So . . . you up?"

I remembered my Mom saying in my last loop that she would've allowed me to sneak out at night if it were with a friend so that night, with Carter yelling to us to hurry up from outside, and with Nova's eyes giving me warmth, and with that scent of coconut on her hair, I smiled and said, "okay."

I didn't know what was going to happen – it was the longest loop I've had and it's entirely different from the previous ones, leaving me on edge because anything – I mean, absolutely anything – could happen. Even walking towards the truck I couldn't help but look around and scan for any signs of danger – and if I could, I would hold Nova like a preschool I'm supposed to babysit because in my previous loops she'd always died in the least expected way. Even as soon as we'd gotten inside the car, I couldn't sit still.

"I told you. Relax, Cora," she said with a chuckle. "We'll be fine, I promise."

I tried to believe her. Maybe she was right. The truck has probably passed by now, the mugglers are now probably home, and all that is left for me to do is to breathe and live in the moment – where I sit beside Nova (who, for some reason, had refused to sit in the shotgun seat) with his bandmate driving us towards their after party.

"Okay," I said as if surrendering, my breath hanging on air like it's afraid to have even left my mouth. "I'm calmer now." I felt like if I said that out loud it would be true.

"Great," she said. She stretched her arms sideways, so it looked like she had her left arm around me. Despite the lingering fear of her dying again, my cheeks felt hot.

"Why didn't you come tonight, Nova?" Carter said. He looked at us through the car mirror.

"Good question!" Nova exclaimed, followed by a look at me that was so intense I knew her eyes were on me without even looking. I looked back at her, trying to telephatically say to her to shut up. She licked her lower lip and brought her gaze to Carter. "So good I wouldn't answer it."

"Keeping secrets with your girlfriend now?"

I didn't realize how long Nova's leg was until I saw how quickly it moved to kick the back of Carter's head.

"Ow!" he grunted in pain.

"Don't make our special guest uncomfortable!"

"I wasn't trying to!" he said, scratching his head. I wondered how much that hurt. "Besides, isn't she dating that asshole Kent?"

"No, I'm not," I quickly replied. "I am not dating a boy." I realized how that sounded. "Or anyone."

"See?" said Carter.

"Nova couldn't come tonight because of me," I said. "I had some . . . you know, favors. Sorry about that." And about your friend dying more than ten times because of me, too. My heart clenched as I thought of that. Remembering Nova's faces on each of her death made me want to look at Nova sitting there beside me and make sure she doesn't leave. I had the tremendous urge to hold her hand. I wanted to do anything that could make me feel she was safe and real and fine.

"Well, it was good to not hear stupid fan girls screaming her name just for tonight."

With a smirk on Nova's face, she said, "I must admit, it's a refreshing change to have a night off from flying bras. Hot bassists like me need a break too, you know."

The three of us broke into a laugh, and for the first time ever I believed that maybe the night would go perfectly fine this time. Nova was beside me laughing, Carter, despite being a new character in my nightmarish loops, was comforting – and we weren't heading to the gig anymore. We'd be fine.

We would be fine.

We should have been.

That night, Carter took a shortcut. A closer cut to the after party, he said. I tried to talk him out of it, saying that we should just go through the normal way for that night, and I even tried to convince Nova, but she told me that they'd always gone that way and nothing bad has happened to them ever. Well, until that night.

Carter drove to a bridge he didn't know was broken and his car teetered on the edge of it, the car tires gripping the crumbling asphalt. The mangled metal railing stood as a feeble barrier between the vehicle and the dark abyss beneath us. As Carter pressed down on the accelerator, a surge of adrenaline pulsed through my veins. The engine roared. With a daring leap of faith the car hurtled forward, and forward, and then I held my breath as I prepared myself for the fall.

The three of us screamed, or did not, I have no idea – but what I do remember was that I felt almost weightless, as Nova reached for my hand and closed it with hers. I should not have looked at her. I shouldn't have looked at her that night.

She looked so scared. So scared. And her hands were cold. The fear in her eyes reflected my own and the knot on my stomach intensified. In that suspended moment, as our car plunged through the air, despair and fear mingled with the raw terror that gripped us both.

The world spun chaotically in my vison as the car tumbled, crashing against the jagged rocks and churning waters below. Splintered glass, twisted metal, and the echo of a once vibrant engine filled the air.

I have failed Nova once again.

♫