Just a simple story in which Jai explains his feelings. Idk how sad it will be or what impact it will have on you but here it is.

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Have you ever thought so low of yourself that you wanted to just end it all? That death is the easiest option? Well let me tell you that it isn't. If you would just look in the mirror you would see that you are worth it. You are worth every detail about your body. So what if you are overweight, you are beautiful

To this day I regret my past decisions in life. Every name I reacted to. Every time someone insulted me. Each and every time. My mind let me believe them, and you know what. My mind wasn't the only thing that believed them, my heart did too. Everything they said slipped my mind and broke the strong wall around my heart.

No one noticed how much pain I was in. My smile clouded their vision, it allowed them to believe my words. I felt better. Every time I would look in the mirror and smile I fooled myself. I let myself believe that I was happy. I'm not the only kid that grew up this way. For all I know Luke and Beau could have been the same way.

Depression isn't just something we can pick up and throw away. Like books that we like and don't like. It's a tight rope. You begin your journey confident what you're doing is right. But half way through you thought you were done, but it turns out you didn't move. Each step you took brought you 2 steps back.

My depression lasted years, and I wouldn't have it any other way. People ask me why I don't wish depression didn't exist in my childhood, I simply answer with "It made me stronger". Every night of every day I would look in the mirror and saw absolute crap. My mentality before popular kids was never like this. The years before the bullies were pure bliss.

Soon enough a small blade dug itself out of a pencil sharpener and into my skin. Every morning and every night it would repeat the process. One, two, three maybe even twenty times. Once people began asking why I always wore long sleeves I began on my thighs. This would have never happened if people didn't have the audacity to make fun of me. I was fat. So what.

Look in the mirror and see past the mask. Don't fool yourself, only speak the truth. Tell yourself that you aren't alright. Go get help. If you can't see it. Get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. No one is going to fix your problems except you. Even when it seems that life won't get any better, pick yourself up. You'll figure everything out. People may try to push you back down, but the recoil is what you want. You fall and push them away, then get up.

Around three years into my depression, Luke decided to ask me what was wrong. I told him that I was fine, he didn't believe me. After that day he tried ever so hard to figure out my problems, I never let him. I couldn't bear to bring him in, for the once strong wall around my heart had enough left to keep him out. He never gave up, he cared too much. Maybe that's what brought me down more. Everyday I convinced myself that I wasn't good enough to be Luke's twin, to be Beau's brother.

Year four was the worst. Constant pain, it never ended. Each and every day was torture. It became so hard to keep the wounds covered. No matter how hard I tried I would wake up and continue. Not only was it the hardest year, it was the year I broke. My heart snapped and I couldn't take it anymore. I was skinny, ever so frail. On that night my life changed. I remember walking into the kitchen and grabbing a knife from the block. Oh how I wished I could just put it down, but my fingers gripped it tightly.

Look in the mirror and love your flaws. Every part about you is beautiful. You can overcome anything. Don't end up like I did. That night I did what no one in my family would ever think of. I cut so deep I bled. It didn't stop. The crimson fluid ran down my arm and I couldn't help but smile. I regret everything. Everyday I look down and see that scar I want to hide. I was foolish. What brought me to do this?

Luke found me. A lifeless body lying on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, surrounded in his own blood. No one would have ever known if I wasn't so foolish. If Luke had found me any later I wouldn't be alive to tell you my story. Everyday Beau tells me how wonderful I am, and I believe him. Every compliment I store so then every hate comment can be overwritten with the love. You can do it too. You can overcome everything.

Look in the mirror and see yourself. If you can't see yourself then look closer. See past everything you've ever done that wasn't yourself. Find the memories that you mom ever told you about. Every smile you wore as a child. No one is perfect, I am a living model of that. I don't want your pity. I don't need it.

My scars tell a story. They remind me about my past, but without me explaining them people judge. They wouldn't understand that life isn't just sunshine and rainbows. Life is darkness and hell. No one is ever completely happy. There is no such thing. One boy I once knew answered the teacher in such a brave way. The teacher asked him, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?" He simply answered, "I want to be happy."

She then went on to send him to the counselor because she thought he needed help. She judged him by his answer. The answer that was on hundred percent true. I knew him ever so personally. So did my brothers and my mom. He was always hiding in the shadows. This boy was named Jai Brooks. This boy is me. I never wanted to end up that way. No one ever does. It just happens.

Our lives aren't perfect. So please, do me a favor. Look in the mirror. Stare into that mirror until your eyes hurt from looking at your beautiful self. You can't keep hiding. Someone is bound to pull off your mask. Whether that person is yourself or someone else. It does come off. No. It will come off. Every single word of hate you get is wrong. So please listen to me. Every word I have told you is not meaningless. My story isn't a pity story, its one of growth. I have grown so much since that day at school. That once lonely boy who never smiled, now smiles whenever possible. Under all my clothing in the winter you would never know the pain I've suffered. Plus, why would you want to?

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So I know in the beginning I said that this didn't have a meaning. But while writing it I figured it out. So many of my emotions have been bottled up and this was the easiest way to get them out. Some people just want to scream, others decide to do something else. I have always gone to writing. Some of my most powerful pieces were all just because I needed to vent. I'm thinking of making a book for that but nonetheless.

I hope you all enjoyed this part. Don't forget to comment, vote and all that stuff! I need some more prompts so any and all are welcome!! Thank you all so much for reading.

*Please let this part be a message to you all. If you see someone who isn't looking all that well, go talk to them. You never know what words can do to help someone.*

-Frostleaf/Nikki