As soon as Celeste walks out the door I sit defeated on my bed. I look at my wrist again and can hardly believe that Celeste has just left. The wound left behind is still bleeding and throbbing. I slowly get up from the bed. The world spins around me causing me to hold onto the edge of the bed. As soon as the world straightens out I start walking towards my door. I don't know exactly what I'm feeling at the moment, I mostly feel empty.

I make my way shakily and slowly towards the door. Along the way I notice that blood is starting to drip from my wound onto the floor. I sigh deeply before walking over to my closet. I pull open the door and search among my clothes for something to bandage my arm with. The first thing my gaze falls on is a white hair band that my mother made me wear as a child. I hate that thing to the very core of my heart. The feeling of ignorance, insecurity and loneliness is strongly attached to the piece of fabric.

I pull the thing out of the closet and tear it to pieces so that only a long piece of fabric remains. With one part of the fabric in my mouth and the other in my left hand, I wrap it over my wrist. I tie a knot and tighten it so that my wound is covered with the white fabric. Without another look at the closet I continue walking towards the door. Without any actual plan, I open the door.

My gaze travels down the long empty hallway. Slowly I close my bedroom door and walk up the hallway. I still walk in the same clothes I left in, not bothering to change. I shuffle down the hallway and by now have decided that I am walking towards the kitchen. My stomach growls from the lack of food. I have become thinner, to the point that I can see it clearly. My body is dwindling and although no one says anything about it, I'm sure others see it.

I walk down the stairs to the kitchen door. The large steel door opens as soon as I gently push against it. My gaze falls across the room to the kitchen lady by the fire. As soon as I close the door behind me she turns to me. With a small bow she welcomes me and continues her work. Her eye briefly catches my covered and bloodied wrist but she doesn't say or ask anything about it. With silent steps I make my way to the pantry.

Normally you ask a servant to bring you food, I have only done so a few times. The waiting for the food and the whole being served thing is not for me. I pull open the pantry and walk in. The space is so large it's more like a small room than a closet. The shelves are filled with hundreds of products ranging from fresh to canned. Vegetables, fruits, pasta, bread and so on.

My eyes glide over the shelves, looking for something edible. My eye lingers on the bread. A small round loaf that seems to be filled with fruit catches my attention. I grab it off the shelf and remove it from its wrapping. I sink my teeth into the dough and am pleased with my choice. I want to leave the room while eating until something catches my eye again, the liquor supply. For a moment I consider walking on but a voice in my head tells me I have nothing to lose.

I grab the first bottle of vodka I see off the shelf and walk out of the room with it. I close the door behind me and pay no further attention to the servants at work. I walk out of the kitchen and make my way to the stables. Some people cross me in the hallways, give me a puzzled look. As soon as I walk into the dragon stables I look for Reviri. My black dragon is locked in a large cage on the right.

With the bottle of vodka in one hand and the last piece of the sandwich in my other I walk towards his stall. As soon as my dragon's eyes find mine he seems to revive. A smile graces my lips as I open the door of the stable and walk inside. I put the bottle down on the ground and stroke Reviri's nose. Slowly I let myself slide against the stone wall until I am sitting on the ground. I shove the last piece of bread into my mouth and flip open the bottle of vodka.

As quickly as I swallow the bread I put the bottle to my lips and take a big sip of the stuff. A burning sensation fills my throat, a sensation that doesn't even come close to the feeling in my veins. Reviri has laid down on the floor next to me. Once again I take a sip of the drink and place my head against the stones behind me. I've drunk alcohol once before in my life which resulted in a long night.

Honestly, I don't even know what time it is. There is still daylight shining through the windows which tells me it is still noon. Another gulp of the vodka disappears into my body and is soon followed by another. My eye goes to my wrist where the white fabric is wrapped around it. The white has given way to a black stain. It still throbs but the alcohol in my body eases the pain a little.

As I think, half the bottle disappears down my throat. The drink eases the pain and my thoughts a little which makes the world a little less dark. I don't know how long I've been here but as soon as the sunlight that shone through the windows begins to diminish I know I've been here longer than I realize. The world spins before my eyes, this time from the drink. I close my eyes for a moment and feel the spinning even stronger. 'Rafiki?'

-
Author's note!
I'm curious for a moment:
What kind of impression does Rafiki make on you guys?
Do you think Rafiki has changed since the beginning of this book? If so how?