Word Count: 2276

~Dove

Varian makes quick work of helping me clean myself up.

I stay on the bed while he does. Partially because I can't walk yet, but mostly because I'm so stunned I can't move. My mind is reeling, trying to recover from what happened.

No words are exchanged between us as he cleans between my legs with impossible gentleness before stepping into the bathroom to clean himself off.

I'm supposed to never want to see this man again.

I'm not sure I'm strong enough to take that stance anymore. Not after the connection we just shared between us.

This entire night has been a confusing mess. I've never felt this way before, and it's left me scrambling to pick up pieces of myself that he's left scattered about. I want to get closer to him, yet the rational part of my brain knows that's impossible.

But I can't not see him again...I just can't.

"That was..." I start as he emerges back from the bathroom.

"Perfect," he finishes for me, a soft smile playing at his mouth. "I know."

Him standing there, gilded by the light with a slight sheen of sweat on his body is enough to tempt me to drag him back into bed with me for another round. Unfortunately there's a subtle soreness between my legs that warns me against it.

"Mind if I wear one of your shirts for now? Mine dress is soaked through." I make a mental note to pluck the dress still lying in a heap on Varian's shower floor.

He gestures to the dresser. "Go ahead. Take anything you like."

Shoving myself off the bed, I try not to waver on my feet as I search through the top drawer of the dresser. I find a plain back shirt that I slip over my body, sighing in relief when I see that it comes down to almost my knees.

"Clearly I've been on your mind considering what Claude said," I say, glancing over my shoulder to see Varian dressing himself as well.

"I've thought of not much else." He rubs a hand through his damp strands. "I'm supposed to...never mind."

He shakes his head, turning away. I frown at his back, shoving the drawer closed before hopping back onto the bed.

"Let me guess, it has something to do with Matthias?" I can't imagine there is any other explanation for his hesitation to speak.

"If it did, I couldn't tell you."

I roll my eyes. "I thought we got over the whole spy accusation."

Him taking me to bed seemed to be a good indicator of his trust in me. Perhaps that was just a ruse, and he still thinks I'm taking his enemy to bed every other night. The thought makes me bristle, remembering my last night with Matthias.

Varian's eyes darken. "Considering I no longer scent Matthias all over you, I'm inclined to believe you."

"Don't make me regret coming here with what I have to say." I press back into the pillows, crossing my arms over my chest.

Varian approaches the bed, pulling a shirt on over his head. It makes me sad to see his body disappear behind fabric. I've been happily well acquainted with it.

"What happened to never wanting to see me again?" He smirks.
 
"You're pushing it..." I narrow my eyes.

He sits on the end of the bed, facing me. "Right, go ahead."

I sigh, studying his face. He made me an offer not too long ago that I denied at the time. It's been in the back of my head ever since, tempting me. It's not because of the money, or because I could gain anything from it beyond personal satisfaction.

It's because I can't let go of him. Not until I've got my thoughts in order.

"I'll work for you," I announce.

His features soften with his surprise. "You will?"

"My allegiance has changed," I admit. "I hate Matthias, and I hate my father. I hate what they stand for, and Matthias doesn't deserve to be an Alpha."

I would burn his entire pack to the ground if I could. After what he did to me and my family, it's the least of what he deserves.

"I'm not trying to dethrone him, I'm trying to get my brother back," Varian states gently.

"Why not do both?"
 
"You're upset, I understand." He smooths a hand along the bed cover. "Matthias may have different ideologies to me, and he may have no spine to speak of, but he's fair and reasonable to his people, and treats them well. There are other Alpha's who I am concerned about who subjugate their people that need dealing with first."

Disappointment crests in my chest. "Oh..."

"But that doesn't mean I don't need you," he jumps to add. "My brother was taken by Matthias' father years ago, and he hasn't been heard from since. I know he is probably dead, but I would like to be sure."

I had no idea. No one ever mentioned Varian's brother to me, nor that he had gone missing. Hearing it though, doesn't shock me in the slightest. Matthias' father was a cruel man, and no one mourned when he passed. Not even his son.

Matthias has to know something.

"You want closure," I murmur.

He nods. "I do."

My heart aches seeing the ghost of grief lingering on his face. He's spent years worrying about this, being haunted by this. I would feel the same way if something happened to my sister.

"What do you need to me to do," I ask sturdily, ready to launch into my first assignment. The prospect is thrilling, now that I know I'm doing something good for him.

"That is a discussion for a later date." He pauses. "Are you certain you want to do this?"

"I am, but you need to promise me something..."

His eyes warm. "Anything."

"Don't give me the sex eyes," I state bluntly.

A smile softens the edges of his mouth, and then he laughs. It's a rough but gentle sound that caresses my skin. He mind find this funny, but I am anything but joking.

"The what?"

"That intense look you give me all the time," I grumble. "It's like you're undressing me with your eyes."

"Well, that's probably because I am." His gaze sweeps over me, lingering where the hem of his shirt meets my thighs. I instinctively press them together, itching to cover myself even though he saw me naked mere minutes ago.

"Well stop then. It's distracting, and not good for our work environment," I huff.

Amusement brushes over his expression. "We don't exactly have the same affiliation to each other as I do with others who work for me."

That's a relief.

"The mate bond is a non-issue, alright?" I tuck my hair behind my ear. "We don't mention it, we don't give into it. You're my boss now, that's it."

It's easier that way. Less complicated. We can still be around each other, but I'll have the space to consider what I truly want. Plus, it will give me a chance to survey his character, to see if he is truly worthy of the mate bond.

He doesn't look entirely convinced. "Right...what about what just happened?"

"It was one last indulgence before it stops. It's out of my system now." I do feel wondrously sated. How long that will last, though, is hard to know.

"If you thought being away from each other was hard, imagine resisting when we are in each other's presence so often," he reminds me, his eyes glistening.

I shrug. "Don't underestimate my commitment to professionalism."

"I won't Dove."

Glancing at the door, I allow reality to slip back in again. The music still hums from outside the walls, and I can hear the voices of partygoers as they stumble drunkenly by. The night is waning on, the festivities becoming darker and more lustful in nature.

"So, I suppose I better get home," I say quietly.

"Stay the night." Varian stands, his stare pressing into my body. "It's so late and we should talk about what the job will entail tomorrow."

I was hoping he would offer that. I'm not ready for this night to end just yet, and I am becoming aching tired. It doesn't help that his bed is deliriously soft and luxurious.

"I better go tell Dev I'm not returning home with him then," I say, slipping off the bed. "He's downstairs performing."

"Allow me to send for someone," Varian offers.

I brush past him. "It's better I do it, otherwise he will become clinically insane trying to figure out if we are fucking or not."

He's going to lose him mind when I tell him. I won't tonight, lest I want to be accosted with questions, but later he is going to expect a full run down.

"As long as he isn't truly your boyfriend," Varian calls out as I head to the door.

"That was an unfortunate ruse, as I've mentioned before," I exclaim. "I'll be back."

I slip out the door, only realising once it's closed that I'm naked under Varian's shirt. I'm tempted to go back in to retrieve some oversized pants, but I'm sure every will be too wrapped up in the festivities to notice me.

Barefoot, I rush down the stairs, winking at the guards who denied me entry before. They only stare, wide eyed and confused as I slip into the throng of partygoers.

Many turn to stare as I make my way toward the entrance to the backstage area, but no one says anything. I doubt they know that I've just come from their Alpha's bedroom, although it's safe to assume they know I've been fucked by someone.

Thankfully, many others are partaking in similar pursuits, so I'm not out of the ordinary.

I find Dev in the backstage area, blotting his damp skin in the mirror. I rush over, planting my hands on his shoulders.

"Deven."

"Uh...holy shit." He jumps, turning in his seat to take me in. "You slept with him didn't you? Good for you—"

"No, I mean I guess so, but that's not what I'm here to talk about," I tell him quickly, knowing that I'm drawing the curious stares of other performers. "I'm staying the night here, and I need you to not ask questions until I'm back home."

His expression melts into horror. "Oh come on, that's an unfair expectation!"

"It's not what you think, I just need to stay here tonight," I tell him, anxiously pulling at the hem of the shirt, trying to keep it from slipping upward.

Dev turns back to the mirror, clapping excitedly. "This is so great for us."

"What is?"

"You being with Varian. Now we can both finally be rich!" He adjusts the sparkling headpiece on his head, his smile broad.

"Ugh you're annoying." I roll my eyes, giggling regardless. "Just know I'm safe and don't wait for me."

He waves his hand. "Got it. Night!"

I leave him with a kiss on the cheek, knowing that his restraint only exists to get me to go back up to Varian's room.

Weaving my way back through the crowd, I aim for the stairs. I'm not sure what the rest of this night entails with Varian, but I'm excited for it regardless.

Before I can get within sight of a guard, a hand grabs my arm. It yanks me, causing me to stumble through the crowd of dancing bodies and toward a table crowded with refreshments.

The person who grabbed me is a male, wearing a silver suit that hurts the eye to look at. Their lids are heavy from drink, and they have an uncanny drink on their face.

"Wow...look at you," he marvels, passing his gaze over my bare legs.

I try to yank from his grip, but it's shockingly firm. "Get off me."
 
"You're not on theme," he notes, words smeary as they slur together.

"Mind your own business," I growl.

No matter how urgently I try to pull myself away from him, he holds strong, trying to draw me closer to him.

"Come play." His hip bumps the table, nearly causing glasses of wine to fall over before he rights himself. "We have all night."

I look frantically behind me, but no one is paying me any notice. The lights have darkened in here, and those who aren't too drunk to focus are occupied by whoever they are dancing with.

"Let me go!" I plead.

His expression grows sinister all of a sudden as he pulls me closer. "You know what, I don't like the way you're talking to me. I think you can stay and talk to—"

Before I can think, my fingers are clenching into a fist, which I'm driving into his face.

The impact is immediately painful, biting into my knuckles. I strike him on the left side of his face, right before his eye. It stuns him enough to let me go.

I hear him groan, but I don't turn around as I merge back into the crowd, past the guards and back upstairs to Varian.

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***

My hands tremble by my sides. "Don't sleep with her..."

He steps toward me, his eyes dark. "Why not?"

"Whatever you were planning to do to her tonight, do it to me instead," I whisper.

***

~Midika 🐈‍⬛💜