Word Count: 2098

~Dove

I smother my face with my hands, wishing I could scream.

It was stupid and impulsive of me to come here. I let my want for revenge against my father and Matthias overcome me, and now I get to listen to my mate pleasure a woman right above me because of it.

Instead I hear Varian sigh, his voice lowering. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to forgo that tonight, Penelope."

I angle my head, listening keenly.

Is he really rejecting her? I can't help the spark of hope in my chest. I may not be willing to admit it right now, but if he did bed her, it would destroy me.

We may not have any real relationship, but he's still my mate...if the physician is to be believed.

"What...why?" Penelope's voice sounds empty and hollow, and a touch hurt.

"I am no longer interested in those pursuits," Varian explains.

My smile falls away as quickly as it raises. I'm not exactly displeased to hear Varian turning this woman away, but I can't be sure it's because of his bond with me. Perhaps he is finally turning away from the need to bolster his reputation.

"Why?" Penelope's feet move as she shifts further across the bed from Varian.. "Am I ugly?"

"No," he insists. "There is someone I am interested in."

My eyes widen and I look upwards, as if I can see anything other than the bottom of the bed.

"Seriously?" Penelope hisses. "Have her then. Don't waste my time—"

Varian must be grabbing her arm, keeping her from dashing out the door before he can talk. "I want her, but I can't have her right now."

My mouth dries. Is he talking about me? I can't think of anyone else he's expressed interest in, but it's not like I really know him well. He has a whole life I know nothing about, which could include some mysterious, beautiful woman he's interested in.

"You're an Alpha. You can have whoever you want," Penelope says.

"Not her."

No, I suppose he can't have me. While I'm here, it's only to see him to say goodbye. I won't be continuing to see him, to develop our bond.

"Well she sounds stupid," Penelope states, her voice pitching into a whine. "I'm here and I want you."

Varian stands, his boots facing the bed. I cower deeper into the shadows, knowing how mortified I would be if I he caught me under here.

"This woman...she's my mate," he says. I can imagine he's burying his hands in his hair, a pained look on his face.

Penelope stands, wobbling a little in her silver heels. "You're fucking kidding me."

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever. You're attractive, Alpha, and I respect you greatly, but I must go and make the most of this party," she exclaims, brushing past him.

Varian sighs. "Of course. Go right ahead."

I watch with my hand over my mouth as she walks away, slamming his room door closed behind her. My relief is palpable, but I'm still stuck under this bed with Varian right in front of me.

I need him to go back to the party so I can run into him naturally.

Instead, he groans under his breath, sitting down on the bed again.

Go...please.

The rustling of clothing sounds. He kicks off his boots and socks, then stands to hang his jacket on a hook. Slowly, he removes the rest of his clothing while I sit bewildered, wondering what he's doing.

Eventually, once he's removed all his clothing, he heads into the adjoining bathroom, where I hear the shower turn on.

I let out a breath. This is my chance.

Sliding on my stomach, I ignore the scrape of the carpet against my knees as I shuffle out from under the bed. One look toward the bathroom, I can see steam curling in the air through the gap in the door.

He's showering in there...naked.

I look toward the bedroom door, seeing a chance to slip out so I can bump into him outside. I'll claim I came up the stairs, that the guards let me through.

I risk another look at the bathroom.

No...I'm being ridiculous. It's time to leave.

I barely make a step before I hear his suite door open, forcing me to pause.

"Varian, you in here?"

Shit. It's Claude. If he sees me in here, he's going to ridicule me, and Varian will probably join in on the fun.

"In the shower," Varian calls back.

I could hide under the bed again. It worked the first time. Yet, my gaze travels toward the bathroom, and before I know it, I'm rushing into the room.

The steam brushes against my face, sticking to my clothing and hair. I barely have a chance to take in the lavish bathroom as I veer toward the glass shower door. Weaving around it, I'm confronted with Varian, and the sudden spray of water against my right shoulder.

He wipes his face, eyes widening as he takes me in.

"Dove—"

I shove my hand over his mouth, nodding my head toward the door. His dark eyes shift, seeming to understand that Claude is here and I don't want him to know I am.

"Just wanted to ask how you're doing," Claude exclaims uncomfortably, his voice coming from Varian's bedroom.

Tentatively, I lower my hand.

Varian stares at me, his eyes warm. Slowly, they lower to take me in.

My dress is clinging to my body, getting more soaked as the water drenches me. I don't dare risk a glance down Varian's body, knowing exactly what I will be getting an eyeful of if I do.

"I'm fine. Why?" He asks his friend, distracted.

"Oh you know...I know you've been taking these past couple of weeks hard, and hosting a party wasn't what you wanted."

I bite down hard on my lip, trying to divert my mind from all the dark and forbidden places it's tumbling into.

It's hard, when Varian is looking that good. The water runs in thin rivets down the hard lines of his face. His dark hair is soaked, some parts plastered against his forehead and temples.

I forgot what it felt like to be near him. Now that I've been alerted to it, I can feel the tug of the bond. Or perhaps it's just an insane attraction. Either way, standing here without moving is torture.

"I'm doing this for you, Claude," he calls out. "You better be enjoying yourself at least."

Claude sounds uncertain. "I've chosen my muse. She'll do."

I roll my eyes, and Varian smirks. Claude is far too flippant with his women. It's a wonder he can find women who are into the same as what he is.

"Go enjoy her. Don't worry about me."

Varian doesn't seem concerned at all that I've violated his privacy. He's taken a piece of my hair into his hand, twisting it around his fingers.

Claude begins to say something, then pauses, only to start up again moments later.

"Ida believes she saw Dove for a second downstairs, but she must be losing her mind," he expresses tentatively, clearly having weighed up whether it was worth it to bring me up. "I mean, Dove would never come to another party again."

I flush, and Varian's mouth quirks up.

"Right..."

Claude coughs. "Sorry to bring her up."

Clearly I'm a sore subject, although that won't be a problem now. Any sadness Varian may have been experiencing has vanished.

"It's okay, Claude. I'm fine." Varian's hand let's go of my hair, smoothing along my shoulder, his fingers playing with the strap of my dress.

I just want him to rip of me.

"If you're not—"

"I'm fine, I promise," Varian assures him abruptly, his eyes darkening as they watch the rapid rise and fall of my chest. "The Dove matter won't be a problem tonight."

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning then," Claude muses, reluctantly caving in. "Ciella and Eden are out of town, so I'm using their house to impress my muse."

"Go have fun," Varian encourages, his interest in the conversation with his friend depleting as I inch a little closer.

"Goodnight Varian."

My breath is heavy as I listen out for Claude's departure. Sure enough, I hear the distant click of the suite door closing.

Unable to restrain myself a moment longer, I let my gaze linger downward.

His bare chest is glistening with the hot water, which streams down the lines of his defined abdomen. A sharp V travels down to his cock, my breath hitching at the sight of it.

Fuck. I knew he would be big.

"Dove."

His voice raises my attention back up to his face.

"Varian," I whisper.

"You're standing in my shower," he murmurs, amused. "Fully dressed, I might add."

Dev is going to be devastated when he sees the soaking wet mess this dress has turned into. Then, he will promptly recover once I tell him the story that comes along with it.

"That wasn't intentional," I admit. "The being in your shower part, I mean."

I won't mention where I hid under his bed. I'll let him think I wandered in here, only to be chased inside by Claude's sudden appearance.

He looks down at me, a raw, aching look in his eyes. "You're in my shower."

"I am."
 
"Why are you here—"

I cut him as I stand on my tiptoes, grabbing either side of his face to kiss him. He pauses for only a moment, responding back in turn with a ferocity that almost makes me slip on the slick shower floor.

I'm knocked back into the wall, his body consuming me, pinning me in. I groan at his taste, as the insistent press of his mouth on mine.

I can feel the dull ache that has accompanied me since I first met him finally leaking out of my body. It's filled instead by a burning fire that wants to consume him as quickly as he is me.

His hands grip my waist, fisting the drenched fabric of my dress. He pulls me against him best he can with my hands between us. I can't stop touching him, dragging my hands down his chest, down his abdomen and to his hips.

With a frustrated groan, he pulls away a touch. I lean up to kiss him again, craving him, but he pulls back.

"You came here just to fuck, huh?" Desire has roughened his voice, chills skittering along my skin.

I shrug, breathless. "Is that a crime?"

His thumb traces along my jaw, then along my lower lip. I look up at him through wet lashes, wanting him so desperately I have no care for what tomorrow will bring. I'm tired to denying myself him over and over.

"Either you realised no one wants to sleep with you due to my mark on your thigh, or you realised no one can pleasure you like your mate can." He presses me harder into the wall, my heart close to failing from how hard it is beating.

His hand travels down to my thigh, which I press to the side for him. He hikes up the skirt of my dress to reveal his mark.

The way he looks at it...it goes beyond desire, to something more.

It's dangerous. I can't allow either of us to think about our bond, about what our relationship could be. I want to ground us in this moment, in the pleasure we could both experience if he gave in.

I grab his face, pulling his attention back to me. "What matters is I'm here and I want this."

Suddenly his hand is behind me, knotting into my hair. He yanks my head back, a gasp escaping me.

"As tempting as you are, I'm afraid I cannot give you what you need." His kisses me softly once. "We are mates, if you come here to fuck, you also come here to talk to me."

I smirk. "I guess I'll just have to convince you otherwise, won't I?"

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***

My hands tremble by my sides. "Don't sleep with her..."

He steps toward me, his eyes dark. "Why not?"

"Whatever you were planning to do to her tonight, do it to me instead," I whisper.

***

~Midika 🐈‍⬛💜