Word Count: 2249

~Dove

The mid-morning sun warms my skin as I stroll down the street with Dev beside me.

The city is calm this morning. People mull about, enjoying the warmth and the day off of work. It's a day of celebration in this pack as many turn to worship an old god that I thought we'd forgotten about by now.

"We should go on a holiday," I tell Dev.

We're heading to get some coffee, then go for a walk around the park. I've been trying to keep my mind occupied since finding out I'm mated to Varian.

I still can't entirely believe it.

It's been weeks since I saw him, and he hasn't tried to confront me in person, honouring my request for space. I've been trying to banish him from my mind, not wanting to give the notion much thought.

Being mated to an Alpha isn't something I'm ready for. Not one from another pack, who I can barely stand.

I just need to get over the thought, and move on. I don't need a mate...not really. I always thought one would be nice to have, but I'm going to have to accept that it isn't in the cards for me anymore.

Which is why I've been so desperate to distract myself from what I'm choosing to let go...

"Oh yeah? Where would you like to holiday?" Dev asks, his expression brightening at the thought. I can already feel him running through his favourite places to escape to beyond these pack borders.

"Anywhere. Far from here." I blow out a breath. I need a break from the apartment I've been wallowing in for the past few weeks. Seeing it so much is starting to depress me.

"I'm in." Dev rubs his hands together. "When do we leave."

I contemplate that quietly. I haven't put much thought to the plan. In fact, it only spawned into my mind moments ago.

"What if we left tonight?" I ask, weaving around a particularly large group of people trying to get into a busy bakery.

Dev gives me a look. "Why so eager to escape?"

I lower my gaze to the pavement in front of me. He doesn't know what is haunting me, although I figure he suspects something is up.

When I returned from having the mark removed from my body, I was a mess. I couldn't tell him what happened, not wanting to speak the possibility into existence. At that point, I had convinced myself Varian had crafted an elaborate lie to torment me, although now I've come to terms with that not being the case.

He's my mate. I can sense it now, when at first I thought it was just intense attraction.

Now, I don't see much point in telling Dev. It will only make him worry, and if I'm never going to see Varian again, it doesn't matter.

"This city is suffocating me. I want to see something green," I tell him, raising a brow.

"I'll go and pretend like you aren't running from something." He offers a dramatic sigh, like it's causing him great strife to do so, when I know he will take any excuse to go on vacation. "But we have to leave tomorrow. Preferably in the afternoon."

I peer up at the side of his face. "Why? Busy?"

He looks back at me, his sharp brown eyes appearing wary. Suddenly, despite the warmth, he looks cold in his loose linen shirt that he continues to falsely insist no one can see through.

"I'm performing at a party Alpha Varian is hosting," he tells me, pulling a face half way between a grimace and a frown.

I almost stop short in the middle of the street. Someone swerves around me, scowling.

"Oh...and you didn't tell me?" I ask, resuming our brisk pace.

I wish my heart would stop jumping into my throat every time I hear Varian's name. It makes complete sense Dev would be attending a party of his when he's a performer, but hearing it out of nowhere is still jarring.
 
"I thought the feathers and sparkles all over our apartment was enough of an indication, but since it needs spelling out..." He rubs the back of his neck.

My eyes roll. "Oh shush."

"I know there's something weird going on between you two—"

"There is nothing going on. I haven't heard from him in weeks, and I never will," I tell him simply, adjusting the strap of my bag in my shoulder. There's a book to read in the park once we get there, although I already know I'm going to fall asleep under the warm rays of sun.

Dev pinches my arm. "Oh sure. Hiding all the letters he sends you in that old oven mitt is very covert of you."

I flick his hand away, sighing.

"Since you've never cooked anything in your life I figured it was a safe space."

Varian has been sending a letter every few days. They are all handwritten and long, detailing his regret for everything that he has done, and for not handling the situation better.

The last letter was shorter, more abrupt. He seemed resigned, realising I wasn't going to be contacting again, and that he should give me space.

Admittedly, I've had a hard time accepting that. The thought of shutting him off without resolution feels like a mistake, but I'm not sure I'm capable of facing him again.

"What is he saying to you? Why are you hiding the letters and not burning them?" Dev asks.

"Maybe I'm building a stalker case against him," I mumble before sighing discontentedly. "Look, I don't know okay. I don't want to talk about it."

Dev's eyes darken. "Did he hurt you?"

"No...It's nothing, seriously."

We walk for silence for a while, approaching the coffee shop. We slip inside, merging with the small crowd waiting for their chance to purchase their drinks.

"You're okay with me performing at his party, right? If not I can blow it off and we can leave—"

"No way, you're going. This is the most money you make in a year," I express, shooting him a sharp look. It's consistent work, as well, and I know he adores the chance to work there. I would never let my issues with Varian get in the way of that.

"I would invite you to come so you're not home wallowing all night, but I get the feeling you wouldn't like that." He pulls at his collar.

I pass my gaze around the quaint coffee shop, vaguely noting the patrons.

I've been considering seeing Varian one more time before removing contact with him completely. It's a small thought at the back of my mind that I've been smothering. Seeing him again, even it were one last time, would be difficult.

Maybe I could...a gasp gets caught in my throat as my gaze snags on a familiar person who I would never thought would be here.

I attach myself to Dev's side, slinking my arm around him.

"Shit Dev, that's my dad," I hiss, pointing across the room.

In the corner, at a small table with tall glass windows behind him, is my father reading a newspaper. His old glasses are perched on the end of his nose, and he sips casually from his mug.

Seeing him as a cold sensation draping over my body, my mind spiralling. He doesn't look so different after a year, although a few extra grey hairs dust his head.

"What is he doing here?" Dev asks.

"I don't know. We haven't spoken in over a year," I tell him numbly, unable to pull my gaze from my father. I should be rushing out the shop before he notices me, and yet I'm rooted to the spot.

"Go see how he's doing." Dev gives me a nudge. "I know you miss him."

I swallow tightly. I was doing fine until now. Since breaking away from my father, I've done nothing but resent him. I was perfectly okay never seeing him again, and now he's sitting here right in front of me.

"He chose his Alpha over his own daughter. I have nothing to say to him," I say lowly, turning my back to him.

Only moment later, however, I hear his chair scrape against the floor as he stands.

"Dove?" He calls out. I turn slowly, grimacing. "Dovely, wow, it's good to see you."

He's waving at me, his face lit up, as if nothing has transpired since I last saw him.

Maybe I can keep this short, avoid a public meltdown and make my escape before he can start enquiring into my life. I can only imagine his reaction if he learnt Varian is my mate.

"Hey..." I clear my throat awkwardly.

"I missed you." He's rounded around the table, approaching me with a uncharacteristically broad smile on his face. He looks at Dev, who looks mortified to be experiencing this. "Who is this?"

"I think I'm going to wait outside," Dev exclaims quickly, giving me one last look before he dashes for the door.

While I don't blame him for wanting to give us space, he's making me jealous that I can't manoeuvre an escape so easily. I may not want to be in my fathers life anymore, but I don't want to unnecessarily hurt his feelings.

"He's a friend. I'm living with him," I tell him, stepping out of the way of the line for coffee.

Father can't hide his startled expression. He has far more modest expectations for me, even after learning what was transpiring between Matthias and I.

"Oh..."

I glance at the door. "Look, I should probably go—"

"Come sit and have some tea with me." He gestures at his table, offering a weak, tentative smile. "I haven't heard from you in months. I miss you so much."

Emotion stirs in my stomach. He looks so earnest, so desperate. It tugs at the part of me that misses him too, that wants her father back.

"You know why I haven't contacted you," I say steadily.

"I think we should work on our relationship. You're my daughter, after all," he says softly.

"I don't know if I can forgive you." I clear my throat, but my voice sounds choked regardless. "How do I know you won't let something horrible happen to me again just to save Matthias..."

I know my father still works for him, and I know they are close. I don't think I could ever be on the position of trusting either of them again, and my fathers knows that.

"He's our Alpha, Dovely—"

"I'm your daughter, and that should have mattered to you," I hiss, leaning close. "I can't risk that again. Not with Matthias wanting me dead."

If Matthias ever learnt that Varian's is my mate...I don't even want to think what he would do. However he feels about me now wouldn't compare.

"He doesn't want you dead. I spoke to him, calmed him down," he tells me. "He wants to see you again."

I pull a face, taking a step back. "No thank you."

"In fact, he has a proposition for you," he continues.

I shake my head. The thought of seeing Matthias again makes me nauseous. There are too many dark, terrible memories connected to him.  I've finally moved on and established a life away from him, and I can't go back now.

"I don't want to hear it, and I need to go." I back away, almost smacking into a person waiting in line. "Please do not contact me again."

As I turn toward the door, he grabs my arm, pulling my attention back to him.

"Wait...Dove."

"What?"

His expression crumbles, and for a moment I feel sorry for him. He's lost both his daughters, and all he has left is his career and a man who forgot about him, and nearly for him killed. And yet he is still here, protecting him.

"I want you both back in my life," he pleads. "Dove, Matthias told me about your relationship. If you come back to us, perhaps you can continue that, with my blessing."

I just stare at him for a few moments in disbelief.

"First of all, your blessing means nothing. Second, Matthias doesn't want to marry me, he wants to use me for the rest of time," I snap. "And third...just no!"

He doesn't follow me as I charge out of the coffee shop, not caring about the curious stares and hushed whispers.

I nearly run straight into Dev, who falls into step beside me as I hurry determinedly down the sidewalk.

"Everything okay?" He ask, already sounding a little breathless.

I grind my back teeth together, irritated. I hate how blind my father is, and I hate Matthias for ever thinking I would come back to him after what he did.

"Deven, I'm coming with you to Varian's party tonight," I announce, lifting my chin.

He grins wolfishly. "This will be fun."

💚••💚

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***

My hands tremble by my sides. "Don't sleep with her..."

He steps toward me, his eyes dark. "Why not?"

"Whatever you were planning to do to her tonight, do it to me instead," I whisper.

***

~Midika 🐈‍⬛💜