I sat in the waiting room for the doctor. The small television in the corner the only sound in the room. Other people sitting around reading the paper, doing crossword puzzles or just napping.

Paul walked into the room, handing me a coffee. I sighed in relief and gave him a small smile.

"Thank you. How much longer will this take?"

He sat next to me and held my hand. "They need to run tests to see what's wrong. Hopefully it's nothing serious. Has anything like this ever happened before?"

I shook my head. "Never. I just don't want anything to happen to my little girl. She was so happy today and..." My voice began to break. Paul pulled me against him and whispered everything would be alright.

We waited until we saw the doctor come in.

"You can see your daughter now."

We stood up and were led to her room. I stopped just before we entered.

"Doctor um...I need to know what's wrong. Is she alright? I mean nothing serious is wrong with her??"

The doctor smiled. "She's fine miss Montgomery. Just dehydration and a little anxiety. She'll have to take some medication. Here's her prescription." He handed me a note. I took it and looked it over.

"Thank you so much. I was just so scared and..."

"You did the right thing. Even if it is late, most parents would wait until morning and something more severe would happen by then. She's a shy little one isn't she? She can leave as soon as you all are ready." He chuckled. "Call me if you need anything."

I nodded and made my way into the room. Anita sitting up and smiled when she saw us.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

Paul walked over and kissed her cheek. "How are ye feeling??"

"Much better. My arm not so much." She pouted.

"How about now??" Paul kissed her arm over and over again. She giggled.

"Daddy stop it!"

"Look who I brought." I smiled, pulling her doll out of my purse.

"Miss Lulu!" She held her arms out. She hugged her dolly and leaned up as I gave her a kiss.

"You ready to go home?" I asked. She nodded and giggled as Paul picked her up and talked to her. I just watched them and couldn't help feeling heartbroken.
..

"Go go lay down. I'll be in to tuck you in soon." I patted Anita's bottom. She smiled and ran to her room.

Eleven at night and we were finally back at mine. Martha happy to see us. But something was bothering me. Paul was busy petting her as I made my way into the kitchen to make myself some more tea. His voice making me jump.

"You've been awfully silent."

I shrugged. "Just have a lot on my mind I guess."

"Sadie."

I turned to him and crossed my arms. "You have to leave. Seeing you and Ani together has been everything she's always wanted. A family. I just can't bear the thought of having to tell her you went away after everything you've shared and promised. No promises Paul. No more."

He stayed silent and chewed on his bottom lip. I looked at him.

"Say something."

"What am I supposed to say? I love you Sadie. I love our little girl. But...I can't tell Linda. I can't break up my family."

I nodded slowly and swallowed the lump in my throat. "I can't have you hurting my little girl. This is the life we chose. We have to accept it Paul. I love you so much but, we can't keep this going."

"Can't we? I want Anita to have a father. Someone to look up to."

"She needs someone who will be there Paul. Someone who she can come home to everyday. Someone to check under her bed and closet for monsters. Someone to read her bedtime stories and hold her when she's had a bad day. To hear him say I love you back when she says it. Not from a letter or a phone call. She deserves more than that. You chose. Emily was right. We had the chance to make it work but....we didn't."

He just looked at me and grabbed his coat. His voice shakey. "I'll um...see you around yeah?"

Before I could even speak, he hurriedly walked out the door. I wiped my tears and sighed in frustration, tossing my cup across the room. The glass shattering on the tile.

"Fuck." I cried to myself. "Fuck."
.....

Paul never came back. Emily never showed up. It was just me, a little girl and a sheepdog. All sleeping in the same little bed. Anita in my arms sleeping soundly as I laid awake. The sun barely peeking through the curtains. I picked my head up when I heard the front door open and close. The sound of heels on the tile until she reached the carpet. I saw her peek into Anita's room. She stayed silent when she saw me looking at her.

"Where is he?" She asked.

"Gone. I sent him away."

She just stood silently. I sniffled and wiped my eyes. "Aren't you happy?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Not when I see how much it hurts you."

I slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake Anita. She just turned the other way and hugged Martha. Emily and I stood in the hall.

"We didn't say goodbye. I just let him know where I stood. That I couldn't let him hurt our little girl. We can't give her false hope in thinking were something....were not."

I looked down and wiped my eyes. Emily pulled me into her arms.

"I'm sorry Sadie. I know you love him. He loves you too. But you two need to understand that the choices you made years ago is the way it has to be. Five years. No calls. No visits. Nothing."

I nodded. "I can use a cigarette."

She laughed and handed me the pack in her purse. "Here. I won't be needing them anytime soon"

I took one out and laughed. "Yeah why you pregnant or somethin?"

She stayed silent as I looked at her.

"Em....are you??"

She smiled and nodded. "I found out last night. The guy I've been seeing we....were moving in together!"

I smiled and hugged her. "Oh my god Emily I'm so happy for you! My baby sister is having a baby of her own."

She smiled and wiped my tears. "You're crying!"

"I'm just so happy for you!" I laughed. "Fuck I really need this cigarette now."

She laughed. "I need some rest. I love you Sadie. I don't like seeing you hurt. Please try to move on? For Anita's sake."

I nodded. "I will. Get some sleep. We'll talk later."

She kissed my cheek and made her way into her room. I walked to the window and opened up, lighting the cig to inhale.
...

Saturday mornings were always filled with Cartoons, cereal and lazy tv watching. Anita was sitting on a pillow on the living room floor, munching on a waffle while she set her cereal aside. Giggling at a silly cartoon.

I was in the kitchen, drinking coffee and making myself some toast when I saw something under the door. A white note folded. I walked over and picked it up, reading its contents.

Dear Sadie.

I have taken in what you explained to me last night. You made a fair point. Anita deserves a real father. A man she can rely on. It breaks my heart to say, I can't be that man. We chose our lives. We chose this path. I love you both. We made a beautiful little girl and I'm proud to call her mine. But I can't be that man you want me to be. I love Linda and my two little girls. I wish Anita could be a part of us. Meet her sisters. One day she'll know. You're a wonderful Parent Sadie. I trust you with our little girl. I love you.
          -Love, Paul.
Ps. Our last night together could just be the one thing that could bring us back together. Time will tell. Please let me know.

I stared at the last part strangely. "Time will tell?"

I jumped when Emily walked into the room, happily humming to herself. I hid the note in my jeans pocket.

"Morning." She smiled.

"Morning Em. Look um, I'm thinking of going out for a few. I need a walk and time to think. D'you mind watching..."

"Of course. Go on. I need some quality time with my little niece." She smiled, pouring herself some cereal. I giggled and kissed her cheek.

"I'll be back in an hour."
...

Walking alone through Central Park is just what I needed. My mind all over the place. What did Paul mean at the end of his letter? I have no time for games. Bring us back together. Time will tell. Dammit.

I walked, hands in pockets when I bumped into someone.

"Oh I'm sorry I....Sadie??"

I looked up at him. Round glasses, short hair, black coat, cigarette between his fingers. To be honest, seeing him again made me feel something...warm. Nostalgia.
..........