"So, can I come in?" He smiled. I just nodded and stepped aside so he could move past me.

"Eum...Paul just came in. He's asleep."

"Like hell he is." He stormed upstairs to Paul's room. I hurriedly followed to see what was going to happen next. I knew Paul hated to be awaken when he wasn't ready. And after the way he came in this morning, something was telling me that he was doing other activities other than sleep.

"Come on Paul it's time to get up!" George burst through the door and pulled open the curtains. Paul snoring loudly, making me giggle a bit. I couldn't help noticing Martha beside him sleeping soundly. "When did he get a dog?"
George asked.

"She's mine actually." I scratched the back of my head.

"Paul!" George yelled, making me jump. He groaned and picked his head up off the pillows, turning to us.

"Hmmm? Whaa?"

"Paul, Lennon isn't 'aving it today. He wants us in the studio."

"Just tell him one more day off yeah?"

"No Paul. Now."

"But I'm sleeping. Tell Lennon to fuck off and let his mate sleep yeah?"

"Don't think he won't come 'ere to wake ye up himself. He's done it before ye know. It isn't pretty." George said the last part to me. I watched on.

"Then go get him!" Paul grumbled, puling a pillow over his head. George sighed and shook his head.

I followed George out of the room and was stopped when he turned around, making me bump into him. "I'm sorry. I don't think we've introduced ourselves. I'm George."

"Sadie." I shook his hand awkwardly.

"Ah. So you're Sadie. Richard's been on about you for quite some time. You are quite pretty."

I blushed and smiled. "Thank you. So, do you know then? About...."

"About Paul gettin ye pregnant and bein a fuckin twat? Yeah. I can only imagine all you must have to endure from him. Most birds get on with him. But that's only because they see him one night and the next, no more. I've known that man most of me life and I know how much of a stubborn arse he can really be."

"He's not that bad. I mean he gets quite pissy sometimes but, he's not that bad to get along with. He's just...gone alot." I shrugged.

"Is that a bad thing?"

I looked at him. "Sometimes. I just feel like a stranger sometimes. I guess he keeps his distance so he won't get attatched. To me or the baby."

"You must feel a bit alone in all of it. Is that why you and Richard have gone on together?"

"Richard's a good man. He cares and asks questions. He gets to know me and enjoys my company. I know it's not for show. I just...I haven't the heart to tell him that when all of this is over..."

I trailed off and stayed silent. George nodded. "Look em...Sadie. I should get going. I can see you really care about Richard...and Paul. It's not wrong to make friends. I just hope you don't string Richard along too much and break his heart. He is me mate you know. And I wont have it if you do."

He turned around and left me standing alone. The sound of the front door opening and closing bringing me back into my own thoughts.

..

I showered, dressed and got ready for lunch with Emily. She called an hour ago to tell me where to meet her.

"Paul I'm going out!" I yelled, fixing my lipstick in the mirror by the front door. No answer. Still sleeping.

"Martha My love. Don't forget me. Martha my dear." I sang happily, giving her a small kiss. She licked my chin and watched me walk out the door.
...

"Sadie!" Emily shouted, waving her hand like crazy from a table outside. I hurriedly walked over and sat down. "You look pretty today. Good night sleep from mister Rockstar??" She giggled, nudging my side. I laughed and nudged her away.

"No. Were not even that type of close. Like I told you months ago, were not together. Just two people who happen to have a baby together. After all of this, I'm going back home to my regular life."

"To your cramped apartment. L.A Beats. The shitty neighborhood. The lonely life. Just you and the baby huh?" She crossed her arms.

"Look, I have a reputation to hold...."

"No Sadie. You have a life. It's being given to you right here right now. You gotta go with it and take advantage of all you got instead of just wasting it away."

I bit my lip and grabbed the menu. She stopped me.

"Listen to me Sadie. Your reputation went out the window the night you let mister big shot come inside you."

I burst out laughing, having to cover my mouth. People looked over at me. Emily glared at them to mind their own buisness. I calmed down and ran a hand through my hair.

"My god. I missed you Em."

"Whose is it?"

"Emily..."

"Sadie."

I leaned over so our faces were inches apart. "Do you want to know a secret?"

She nodded.

"Do you promise not to tell?"

She looked at me and went berserk.

"Oh my god! Which one!?"

I laughed and calmed her down. "Guess."

"That's not fair!"

"Guess Emily." I teased, thanking the waitress when she came over with some tea.

"Let me think. Knowing you, you're stubborn yet sweet. Free yet organized. Horny yet you keep your legs closed...most of the time."

"I am not always..."

She gave me a look. I shut up.

"It can't be....no not him....no he's too good for you..."

I made a face.

"Paul." She smirked. My mouth opened.

"How did you...?"

"I'm smarter than I look my dear sister. How was he??" She scooted closer to me again.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Oh don't give me that! You know what I mean. In bed??"

I smiled and giggled like an idiot. "He was great."

"He sure has to be I mean, I'm sure they're all great. You meet the others?"

"I um...I just met George this morning..."

"Oh my god!" She squeeked. "What about John and Ringo??"

"John I met briefly. He rarely comes around. Paul usually goes to him. As for Richard...I mean Ringo.."

"Oh my god! You're totally sleeping with Ringo!" She whispered loudly. I turned red as she giggled and nudged me even more.

"Emily my sex life isn't any of your buisness!"

"Oh come on. You're making me an aunt at sixteen. It's not like I've never had...." she trailed off quickly and shut her mouth. I raised my eyebrows.

"Emily. Please tell me you and Marcus aren't..."
The redness in her face gaver her away. I sighed and sat back in my seat. The waitress came over and asked our order. When she left, I resumed.

"You're sixteen Emily."

"So? Age has nothing to do with love." She pouted. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. I hope you two are happy together. Maybe you'll have the pleasure of fucking all his bandmates since you're their number one groupie."

"You really think that'll happen??" She smiled.

"Emily!"

"Oh like you're no better." She scoffed. "Getting involved with a happily taken man who suddenly has the burden of you in his home."

I just looked at her and shook my head. "You know what? Every fuckin day of my life I think exactly that. Because that's what I am isn't it? A burden. To Paul. To you. Mom and the whole fuckin world. I don't ask for anyone to be a part of my life. But why is it when someone falls flat on their ass, they come to me huh? Paul has a bad day, he comes to me for comfort. Richard has a bad day with his family, he comes to me. You and mom get in a fuckin arguement, who do you come to?? Me."

She stayed quiet and looked down. "He's really got you down huh?"

I sighed. "Him and everyone else. I can't...Emily I want you to know something. All of this...it's not me. I can't compete with any of it. The money, the other women. Wives, reputations, love. I feel so alone. Everyone always reminds me that they're there for me. But why do I feel alone?"

We just looked at each other until the food came along. I shook my head. "Can I take this to go please? I'm not feeling very well."

The waitress nodded and took my food away.

"I love you Sadie. More than you'll ever know. I look up to you and I guess the reason I'm harsh is because you don't see yourself as you should."

"That's the problem. This is who I really am. A nobody. It hurts me Em. Everything I've been through in these short months. Suicide, abandonment...rape.."

"What?? Sadie what..."

"It's all over with. There's only one person who's given a damn. And I can't have him. I'm the only one feeling this fuckin regret and pain. Dealing with this pregnancy. I can't do it anymore. It's all too much."

My eyes were teary at this point. I grabbed the bag of food the waitress left on the table and stood up.

"I'm going back to Paul's. I'm packing my things and..."

"Going home?" She looked up at me.

"I don't have a home. All I know is...I need to get away. I'll see you around Emily."

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. She watched me walk out the restaurant and out to the cold world.
............