Hello Nigerians!!!

Most of the teen fiction participants were curious; what happened to their book?

Where did they go wrong?

How were their books judged?

We want to assure you all, that you are all great writers.

Everyone will compete but only one will win but that must not stop you from writting.

🇳🇬 Behind the gate of Lakeview by
Rihanna_Adedeji

1. Title: 5 --Your title is kind of unique. It pops a question. What is behind the gate of Lakeview? Intrigued is the word. Though, I don't know why I thought it would be something mysterious, but yh, it's good.

2. Book cover: 6 -- It's fair and Nigerian enough. Though it could be better. The school students already give a secondary school vibe, so I know what to expect, considering it centres around the Lakeview school. But, the other sentences and little words apart from the title are not clear enough to see, some are blending with the uniforms; that is the color. The sentences disappear around the corner so we don't see the full thing. You lost some marks because of this.

3. Book description: 8 -- I'm impressed with it, simply put. I would actually want to read the book. Debate club, head girl, Golden boy as a rival? Who wouldn't? It'd surely be an interesting read. There were some punctuation errors though.

4. Opening line: 7--I decided to go with Chapter 1 since some people don't read prologues. But I'd like to point out that in your "prologue", you shouldn't just start listing your characters and their attributes. It's information dumping. I'd easily forget (I did), you should introduce them as the story goes, where they pop up and are needed. Where they have a role to play. Your opening line or rather, paragraph, was just okay. Not bad and not the best you can produce either. Jade is introducing us to her new life and what she thinks of it, so that's a win for you.

5. Spelling: 6-- Why do you use two commas? This is the first time I'm seeing something like this. Two commas every time you want to use one. You have a few mistakes though, nothing editing can't fix. Some of the spelling errors come from changing your tense. Instead of using has, you use have. Wants instead of want. Things like that. Stick with either present or past. Your book is past tense, so that would do. Use "quotation marks please" to encase your dialogue, not apostrophes.

6. Vocabulary development: 9-- I like how you're using simple sentences and straightforward words to execute your story. Big grammar in my opinion distracts me. What makes it better is that, your style of writing fits the theme of the story. Simple and straightforward just like secondary school.
P.S Your dialogue shouldn't be in italics. Italics are for thoughts. I used to think your characters were thinking.

7. Character development: 6-- To be honest. The only people registered in my brain are Jade, Hana, Uthman, Dan and Michelle. I'm pretty sure there are more characters. I talked about slowly introducing them, this is effective best when the focus is on them at a particular time in the story. At least, that's how I can remember those ones. Well, your characters are different from each other, a good thing. The way you execute your dialogue is on point as well, like a window to how they think and behave.

8. Nigerian based: 11--Well I think it's very Nigerian for a secondary school. They pride themselves in competitions, head boys and girls are always seen as representative in competitions. It feels like a normal Nigerian school. The whole crush thing isn't going overboard as well, they're still under the restrictions of the teachers. There's assembly. You also use Yoruba sometimes.
I just noticed (and I usually do) you barely see any secondary school named "high school" I don't know why most Nigerian books use this. And we don't say/use cafeterias, it's dining hall or refectory. And it's usually very large. So, you cant grab everyone's attention at once because of something that's happening in a corner.

9. Nigerian names: 10-I saw a lot of those scattered here and there.

10. Nigerian enough: Apart from the wrong terms like cafeteria and the likes. I think it's Nigerian enough. Overall, we have a 7

Total= 75%

_Blossom_

🇳🇬Review of secret scars by Titanium_Bella

Title: 5-Its intriguing like I usually say and an intriguing title deserves an A.

Blurb: 8-- One very important thing required in a blurb is what to expect. Simply put, why should I read this book? What am I looking for or what are the answers to the questions in my head. Your blurb is very wonderful, you did well with introducing your hero and the situation, but there was no pull. I hope you work on that.

Book cover: 9-Apart from the fact that I can't see the sentence below clearly and your title is nearly blending in the background, it's a very nice cover. It matches the tone of your story.

Opening line: 10-Yes ,yes, your opening line was really pulling. You'd want to know the situation surrounding it and what happens next. Welldone.

Spelling: 8-There were minor spelling mistakes. Also, punctuation marks stay inside dialogue not outside. "She said". No, don't do that, the fullstop shouldn't be outside. Sometimes you don't put anything at all, so beware.

Vocabulary development: 9-You write beautifully well. The way you string words together make the story come alive and I can feel every bit of it. A really good job. But there are times when there's no flow and you're just listing every single procedure. It becomes tiring. I did this. I did that. I did this. I did that. Those pauses are distracting. All in all, well-done.

Character development:7-Its pretty fair, I was trying to understand why she's so rude to the Noah guy, considering the kind of father she has. But, her rudeness is uncalled for. It's like you're trying to make her sassy and it doesn't fit the story. What I don't understand is how her mother and sister don't know that she's being physically abused, right under the same roof. It doesn't add up and why is she the one he targets, why not also her sister. Believability is key.

Nigerian based: 5-- Really, if not for the fact that Lagos was mentioned and only once. If someone told me it was a Nigerian book, I never would've believed it. Nigeria is poorly represented here.

Nigerian names: 3-Just one Nigerian name and I think it's Nadiya. The other names there are just so...foreign, so this adds to the doubt that it would be a Nigerian book.

Nigerian enough: 2-Alarm clocks. I think we've had enough of that. The morning routine was like how you'd read an American teenfiction. Lockers, they don't wear uniforms, new guy rides power bike to school, cafeteria where they carry trays to collect food, cheerleading practice, a queen bee, every single girl has long hair(cue eyeroll), and doesn't her sister have a job?! Cliché cliché. Everything here screams foreign. Because it's a rich school is not an excuse to turn it foreign. Do it our way. All in all, your book is very well written. It's just the Nigerian aspect and it's a huge criteria. Well done.

Total= 66%

_Blossom_

🇳🇬Review of It's complicated by darkgirlnextdoor

1. Book cover - 06
The cover is beautiful but I don't think it perfectly fits the theme of the book. You could improve on it

2. Title - 07
It matches perfectly with the description

3. Description - 07
It was the ideal description. Short, precise and straight to the point

4. Opening line - 07
It was good. It introduced us to the main plot, the characters while effectively showing the average Nigerian teen's lifestyle.

5. Spelling - 07
Your spellings were pretty much accurate.
Some punctuations and tenses need correction

6. Vocabulary development - 06
I love the fact that you codemixed. You should provide translation for these Nigerian words.
You should try to write the character's dialogue apart from the narrative. It looks all jumbled up.

7. Nigerian names - 07
You did well on this. Most of the characters had Nigerian names.

8. Character development - 07
In the first five chapters, the main characters their personalities were introduced.

9. Nigerian based - 08
I like that you used a lot of Nigerian words, slangs and names. Readers were also able to sneak a peek into the Nigerian lifestyle

10. How Nigerian enough was it? - 07
It explore the Nigerian lifestyle

Total: 69%

_Modupe_

🇳🇬 Review of the wrong girl by Eddy622

1. Book cover - 06

2. Title - 04

3. Description - 08
It was well done, precise and intriguing.

4. Opening line - 07
The first chapter had an interesting hook and all maim characters were introduced

5. Spelling - 08
Your spellings were pretty accurate. Tenses, capitalization and punctuation were also on point

6. Vocabulary development - 08
Your vocabulary development was pretty good. I like the fact that you used words like ehn, mumu. I also appreciate the fact that you put these words in italics. You should provide translation/explanations for them.

7. Nigerian names - 06

8. Character development - 07
The characters were well developed. In the first few chapters, their behaviors, emotions be personalities were well established.

9. Nigerian based - 06
The book does not really explain the Nigerian culture and lifestyle, the secondary(high) school operates too foreign. Except for a few Nigerian names and slangs, the Nigerian culture was not really portrayed

10. How Nigerian enough was it? - 05
You did not do justice to this aspect. It feels like a book from a foreign author.

Total: 65%

_Modupe_

🇳🇬Review of the arrival by iam_fisaj

1. Book cover - 05

2. Title - 03
The title did not correlate with the description

3. Description - 07
The description was intriguing, precise and short.

4. Opening line - 04

5. Spelling - 05

6. Vocabulary development - 04
The Vocabulary was stagnant

7. Nigerian names - 05
Fairly good. Few of the characters had indigenous names

8. Character development - 04
The plot was rushed. The characters were not adequately introduced, they lacked depth.

Her parents died, you did not show her grief or maybe you did. But it was too short for the type of parents offspring bond you initially potrayed

9. Nigerian based - 05
It did not really show the Nigerian culture. Like I said earlier, the plot was rushed. I'll advise you take time to strategically re-plot.

10. How Nigerian enough was it? - 04

Total: 46%

_Modupe_

🇳🇬Review of Cold Soul by Chidiogor18

Title: 5-very unique and intriguing.

Book cover: 9-it's a beautiful cover, though not the best you can produce. But the heart with ice dripping from it speaks volumes and it throws more light on your title.

Blurb: 7-so I'm guessing this is a love triangle kind of story. It's short, precise and straight to the point. But like I always say, you can do better.

Opening line: 8-It started with dialogue and somehow, the dialogue did interest me. An introduction to their friendship, it was.

Spelling: 8__you have bits of spelling mistakes. There should be no comma, fullstop or question mark outside your dialogue. Everything should be inside. So don't put commas after quotations. Surprisingly, everything is in order, you seem to know what you're doing. Well done.

Vocabulary development: 6-you don't have to put, "Anita's pov" as the name of a chapter. "Chapter 1" would do. This applies to all other chapters. To indicate a person's pov, just put it at the beginning of a chapter, probably in bold. Your vocab is quite simple, very rarely, you know how to show your character's emotions, but you barely describe anything. It's important.

Character development: 3-First of all, you didn't describe any of your characters at all. So, it's kind of a blur. There's nothing to differentiate one person from another. Is Sandra chubby, is Precious fair. How are they like, that's important. I was very disappointed with the way the story turned out in chapter two. First chapter was a good beginning but after that it was unrealistic -sorry to say.
How can a friendship of many years be broken just because a new guy appeared and has not even spent up to a week in school. Anita didn't tell anybody she liked Clifford but suddenly, I mean suddenly developed hot hatred towards Sandra when they started dating. Ch 1, fine boy resumes school, ch 2 Sandra and the boy starts dating, Anita turns to some rabid bitch. Does it make sense? I refuse to believe that the boy had even spent a week there. The things Anita said and did, the insults, the embarrassment, the accusations...howww? Even the Clifford was asking Sandra to choose between her friendship and him. For goodness sake, when did he resume! And he's new again. These are ss3's o. Then one switch in Anita's head clicked and she decided to apologize to Sandra for everything (still chapter 2 o). The Sandra nah accepted. Just like that. It doesn't match please. Nothing makes sense. I was torn between dropping the book and continuing. Make your book believable.
Another thing. If an event has been narrated by a person's pov, you don't need to do it again for another person's pov. It's mostly the same thing and it's tiring. I didn't even read it.
So, all in all, believability is key.

Nigerian based: 6/15-so I'm reading chapter five and I see, "and this brings us to the end of cold soul." Five chapters. Anyway, though there were snippets of Nigerian words and all that. It was so little that almost all the elements of the book felt foreign. If I read your book, I'd think it was based in a white country. Really, Nigeria doesn't shine here.

Nigerian names: 6-I only saw two Nigerian names and they weren't important characters. So they came up rarely...well, no harm.

Nigerian enough: 3-Well from the five chapters, you definitely wrote it with foreign mentality.
Cafeterias, house parties (party in your parents house!) where they do truth or dare and then dance(I mean waltz). We don't waltz here. Bullying in a school bus. Telling your gf to choose between friendship and him IN A SCHOOL BUS.
Strange romance that I'd expect from young adults. I mean these are SS3's. Waec would start second term. Their priority would be waec and jamb. None of that was portrayed. They were busy fighting over boy in the most unbelievable way. The only Nigerian things I'd say were there was the food and the names. Overall, the enjoyment was little. The first chapter is the only thing that got me. Everything after that went downhill. You can do better. Romance takes time and five chapters are not enough to cover it. I'd even say two chapters because the rest were a repeat of events in another pOv. You tried, but it could be better.

Total-61%

_Blossom_

🇳🇬Review of new beginning by i_am_joy_cee

1. Book cover - 04

2. Title of the book - 03
I think you did pretty good with the title. It was fairly intriguing and it correlates with the description provided.

3. Description - 05
I feel like the description is too vague. I get the basic idea of it but I need something more intriguing to prompt me to read. The description could use serious editing

4. Opening line - 07
You did really good with this one, you were able to explain the character's dilemma, the cause of it and her emotions smoothly in a few sentences.

5. Spellings - 04
I have a lot of issues over here. Some of the spellings were accurate, some were not. But the real issues are punctuation and capitalization. There is no space after the commas, it makes it all jumbled up. Full stops appear where they are not supposed to and some names were not capitalized.

6. Vocabulary building - 05
The vocabulary remained stagnant. I feel like there are better adjectives that can be used to portray certain emotions better. Your tenses were messed up. Past tenses were used instead of past participles
Also, when you use pidgin English, you could write them in italics and you should provide translation for them. Some of your readers might be non-Nigerian.

7. Character development - 04
I have issues with this aspect. For someone experiencing change in environments, she took it too calmly. I don't expect her to be rebellious or anything but still, she took it too calmly
In the beginning, Nadia was giving me less privileged vibes, so, how can she suddenly own Versace shorts? You could have specified whether those shorts were knockoffs or not.

8. Nigerian based - 05
Let's take this for instance, she travelled by bus from Lagos to Abuja right? You could have described some of the routes, the typical Nigerian roadside drama and all that.
Secondly, there are some of the descriptions in the school that are not relatable.

9. Nigerian names - 05
They were very few. Your setting was in a big city, people of different ethnicities stay there. You could have used a variety of Nigerian names

10. How Nigerian enough was the book? - 03
Barely, the culture was not well explained, Nigerian names and slangs were missing. You could improve a lot in this aspect.

Total: 46%

_Modupe_

🇳🇬Review of it all started with a Dm by Paulablazing

1. Book cover - 05
The cover is nice, but I think it can be improved and your name was not on the cover. That is verrry important.

2. Title of the book - 03

3. Description - 07
I liked your description. It was short, precise and straight to the point.

4. Opening line - 07
I like the fact the you effectively introduced the characters. You familiarized the readers with the characters and I liked that

5. Spelling - 07
Your spellings were pretty accurate. Punctuation and capitalization were on point.

6. Vocabulary building - 07
First, I appreciate the use of pidgin English, the fact that they were written in italics and so can be easily differentiated. It was all shades of nice but you should Translate them into normal English. Some of your readers might not be Nigerian.
Your tenses were inconsistent especially when narrating, you switched between the present and past tense a lot.. When narrating, all tenses should be in the past.

7. Character development - 07

8. Nigerian based - 06
I like the fact that you codemixed. Mixing normal English language with pidgin English but you did not portray the Nigerian culture. The traditions, superstitions and all

9. Nigerian names - 07

10. How Nigerian enough was it? - 06
The Nigerian culture and lifestyle were not well portrayed but the use of pidgin English and indigenous names went a long way in the plot.

Total: 62%

_Modupe_

🇳🇬 A review of Savage by prevail_mc

1. Book cover - 05
I don't know the cover I would have wanted but the current one is not 'it' although the cover is beautiful
It is unsuitable for the title.

2. Title of the book - 04
The title fitted perfectly with the description provided.

3. Description - 08
It was intriguing. The heavy sass was a total prompt!

4. Opening line - 07
It was explanatory. Familiarizing the readers with the characters.

5. Spellings - 03
The spellings need major works. You mixed up a lot if homophones, wrongly spelt words and all that.

6. Vocabulary development - 04
I have a lot of issues here. Punctuation were not appropriately used. Capitalization (especially for the letter 'I')
I feel like some descriptions were totally unnecessary, adjectives were wrongly used. For instance,
Instead of

'I didn't fail to receive scowls from the faces of other girls in my class who were drooling over Dindu'

You could have said

'Other girls who were crushing on Dindu constantly showed their displeasure by scowling at me'

Misused adjectives: some adjectives are mainly for personal use i.e for a single person rather than a body. For instance, instead of

'The whole school was feeling dazed and was quite speechless'

It could have been

'The whole student body were stunned when news of Dindu's proposal got out'

For the unnecessary details:

'had they voiced out their expressions to words'

You could have used:

'had they vocalized their expression'

7. Character development - 04

8. Nigerian based - 04
I find some scenes hard to believe especially where they twerked during school hours, playing music with an MP! Certainly not the typical Nigerian school.

9. Nigerian names - 08
You certainly tried in this aspect. A lot of Nigerian names were used.

10. How Nigerian enough was the book? - 05
Apart from the use of Nigerian names, the book did not really portray the Nigerian culture.

Total: 52%

_Modupe_

There you have it.......congrats!🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬