It felt like a gut punch. Once the shock wore off, outrage took its place in the form of fist-clenched, jaw-clenched unintelligible cursing. The woman behind the mall's help kiosk let her finger hover above the security call button.

Emma seethed with resentment, her own and on Gabe's behalf. The balls on Jake to show up unannounced, to show up at all after making them believe he never would again. What version of him was home anyway? Did he think he could just pick up where he left off like he hadn't turned everyone's world's upside down? Especially now that she and Gabe were putting the pieces back together, making a happier new normal for themselves? What if he was just another breakdown away from vanishing again? How in the hell would she be able to save Gabe's heart from another blow like that? It was too much to text furiously. She called Jackie back instead.

"Where is he?"

"He's upstairs. Just showed up with his suitcases," Jackie whispered.

"I'm coming over."

"You sound so angry," Jackie said anxiously.

"I'm just stunned," Emma lied, trying to keep her cool for the asshole's mother's sake.

"He wanted to come with me to pick Gabe up after school. I told him – "

"No goddamned way! Is that fucker out of his mind??"

Now that sounded angry. Emma composed herself. "Sorry, Jackie. I am upset. I'm just nervous for Gabe."

"You're not wrong, Emma. I told him he couldn't ambush Gabe like that. I said he had to ask you first."

"He can ask me to my face because I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Alright, I'll tell him. Don't drive crazy."

"I know."

"Emma, this is a good thing," Jackie reminded her optimistically,

"Sure it is."

Emma hung up and called the school to tell them Mitch would pick Gabe up. Then she called Mitch and asked if he would. Mitch took the same cautiously hopeful tone with her that Jackie that had.

"This is what you wanted isn't it? Isn't this what's best for the boy?"

It seemed to take forever before she could bring herself to respond to him with a less bitter conditional "yesssss."

"Don't worry, I'll pick him up," Mitch assured her, and hung up quickly, knowing what was good for him.

*****

Emma parked on the street in front of Jackie's and took a deep breath. Despite her best efforts, she'd calmed down considerably on the drive over. It's hard to stay in a livid state when you feel the spirit of your dead sister pushing you towards compassion.

"You were always too good for him," Emma grumbled as she got out of the car.

She needed no permission for her irritation, and her concern for Gabe was totally valid, but she had to recognize her rage and resentment for what they were: leftover pain. The pain Mitch was right about. The pain her sister wanted her to let go of. The pain so obvious on Jake's worn, penitent face as she found him waiting for her in Jackie's living room. She was going to earn a lot of Mercy's gumball tokens for this.

"Hi Emma."

"Jake," she acknowledged him coolly.

He opened his arms slightly as if he was going to hug her, but he aborted the move for a hand clasp instead when Emma stood her ground. He swayed a bit awkwardly.

"You don't seem very happy to see me."

"Forgive me, Jake. I am happy. I'm thrilled. I would've been happier half a year ago, or maybe in September when Gabe was all excited and we had everything arranged. But you finally made it back. I am happy about that. I just want to know why now?"

"Emma," Jackie began to say. Jake cut his mother off.

"No mom. I'm not going to deny Emma the right to say anything she wants to me. I deserve it."

"I know you do," Jackie said sternly. "I was just inviting Emma to sit."

"Oh."

Emma dumped her purse on the floor and slumped in a chair. She could hear Frank humming in his recliner from the sitting room.

Jake took a seat on his parents' sofa facing her. "Emma, Sophie was my everything. She was a lot of people's everything, I know."

"She was Gabe's everything and so were you."

"But I felt like nothing. I got...lost. It was like I was drowning and didn't know which way was up. I swam the wrong way."

"To your friend's villa in Mexico. Yes, I know."

His face fell in his hand with long exhale. His fingers rubbed his forehead.

"If I don't seem agonized enough for you, you have to understand, it feels like someone else ran away and left my son."

Ha! How convenient, she wanted to say, but held back. As he raised his head, what she first perceived as a pitiable desperation in his eyes began to look more like horror. Tears started to form. He shook his head.

"I would never, you know? Never. How could I leave my son? My baby boy? But I did. How could I? I was afraid he'd feel I didn't love him more than I hated losing her. I can taste how bitter that irony is, believe me. I was afraid I'd neglect him. Not on purpose, but I was filling up with empty space, forgetting things. I tried to make him macaroni one night, and I couldn't find the pot with the orange bottom. I didn't even know where Sophie kept the pots in my own kitchen."

"She burnt rice in the pot with the orange bottom so she used it to dye her bra," Emma said flatly.

"I didn't remember that. I didn't know anything. I felt like I was a black hole of nothing about to suck everyone in. So I left. I left you and mom holding the bag, and I'm so sorry, Emma." He turned to Jackie, "Mom, I'm sorry I left you to take care of this and Dad. I didn't know how to get back, but I'm back now, and I want to make it right."

"For how long are you back, Jake?" Emma asked. "What's different? How's Gabe going to feel safe? How's he going to know that the next time something you can't handle happens, you're not going to high-tail it back to your tropical retreat?"

"It wasn't planned. I just showed up on my friends' doorstep. It was as far away as I could get for a plane ticket, and I knew they wouldn't throw me out. After a while, I felt I owed them to at least go through the motions of 'getting better'. Therapy, meditation, yoga, I tried whatever they suggested, but nothing touched me. I'd watch the sunrise every morning and wish it would just incinerate me or fall out of the sky and crush me. Day after day of meaninglessness, and then the other morning, something made me aware that it was November. That it was two weeks away from Sophie being gone a whole year. I thought of Gabe enduring that anniversary without me and suddenly it was like... I could feel him. I don't know how to explain it. I felt his little heartbeats, his breaths, like the first time Sophie handed him to me and I held him to my chest. I was suddenly back in my own body and all I wanted to do, as fast as I could do it, was be home and be my son's father."

He was achingly sincere. "I will never be that lost man again, Emma. Never," he swore.

She didn't believe him. Oh, there was no doubt in her mind that at this moment, he would walk through fire to restore Gabe's faith in him, but by no means did she trust him not to break that faith again in the future. It was something she'd have to keep to herself. For everybody's sakes, what choice did she have but to hope he'd prove her wrong?

*****

"Gabe, honey, Auntie Emma has to talk to you."

The trouble-maker laughed at her.

"What's so funny?"

"You called yourself Auntie Emma. Like you used to when I was little."

"Well, you'll always be little to me, even when you're all grown up."

"Even when you're old and I have to feed you your peas?"

"What?"

He laughed some more. "Remember? Mom used to say you didn't have any kids so when you get old I have to feed you your peas and wheel you out in the sunshine."

He hadn't recalled a memory of his mother without sadness attached to it since he'd come to stay with her. Emma wanted to cry but she refused to wreck his progress.

"That's right! She did. There's good money in it for you too when you can trick me into giving you power of attorney. But Gabe, I do have to tell you something important now, more important than my retirement plans." She held his hands and took a deep breath. "Your dad came home today. He surprised grandma Jackie."

"Whatever."

She bristled at his 'whatever'-ing her, but under the circumstances let it go.

"He's at her house and he can't wait to see you, but I told him I had to see how you felt about it first."

"Did you tell him he's not my dad anymore?"

"I told him you were upset. He knows he has a lot of explaining to do."

"He can come here if he wants to. I'm not going to talk to him."

"That's fine, but legally he's still your father and he has the right to see you whenever he wants. He really wants to apologize, you know. He loves you more than anything."

Gabe said nothing and looked past her.

"Look, tomorrow's Friday. How about you take the day off school and see your dad in the afternoon?"

"I don't want to take the day off. It's Dog day!" he panicked.

"What's that?"

"We're watching the National Dog Show in the gym and everybody's gonna eat hot dogs for lunch. Oops, I forgot, I need money for hot dogs."

"Honestly, Gabe! I told you, you've got to stop last-minuting me. How much?"

"Fifteen dollars."

"Are they charging admission? Fifteen bucks for a hot dog?"

"It's five bucks for a hot dog and a drink, but I have to buy for Shazza and Isla too."

"Their parents will pay."

"No, I have to! We played push-and-shove and I got shoved the furthest!"

"Not in the gut like the passing out game?" Emma asked, alarmed.

"No. From behind. What's the other game?"

"Never mind and don't you dare! Okay. I'll send the school twenty in case you all want ketchup. Then we'll let your dad come over after dinner?"

"If he has to."

"He wants to, and yes, he has to."

"Can Mitch be here?

"I don't know. He might make your dad uncomfortable."

"Good."

"We'll see."

*****

Gabe came home from school raving about hot dogs, and which dogs were descended from wolves, and how many hot dogs a wolf could eat. When he asked Emma about the origin of the word wiener, she drew a blank and reminded him his dad would be over soon. She might as well have told him to go wash his hands because all Gabe did was pinch his lips together and drag his feet out of the room. In a few minutes, he reappeared, insisting she call Mitch to come over. Mitch had offered to be there, but she'd told him no. Changing her mind was the path of least resistance. She texted him the green light. He kissed her at the door, saying, "I'd have been pushing my ears up against the walls so hard all night I probably would've popped another hole out somewhere."

She set the table for dinner, though it felt like everyone was too anxious to eat, and stared longingly at the bottle of wine on at the bottom of her fridge every time she opened the door. Hot dogs would've been a great, easy idea, but since it'd been taken earlier, she'd made a giant taco salad instead.

"Are you nervous?" Mitch asked Gabe, watching him steal shreds of cheese from the salad bowl.

Gabe shrugged. "No."

"Well, why should you be? He's your dad. You've got a lot to catch up on."

"I'm not going to talk to him. He can talk to me if he wants."

"That's up to you, I guess. Can you do me a favour, though? Promise me you'll listen to him, even if you don't want to hear him?"

"Ok. Want to play cards later?"

"Sure, kid. Whatever you want."

He caught Emma's eye and gave her a supportive smile. The tension in the room was already heavy, and then the knock came at the door.

"I'll get it," Emma said. Mitch stood. Gabe propped his cheek on his palm, trying to solve a broken nacho chip puzzle.

Jake looked sweaty. Emma introduced him to Mitch.

"Glad to see you," Mitch said generously.

"Thanks," Jake said, but all his attention was on Gabe. "Gabe?"

Gabe ignored him. He got up and went to the couch, scrolling on his tablet.

"Hey buddy," Jake said, following him with cautious steps. "You're mad at me? I don't blame you. I deserve it. I want you to know I'm really sorry."

Gabe kept scrolling, even as tears welled in his eyes.

"I've never been sorrier for anything in my whole life. You've got to believe me. I thought about you all the time."

Now came Gabe's little sobs. Still, he would not look at his father. Jake rushed over and dropped to his knees in front of him, patting his little shin, begging for forgiveness.

"I missed you so much. I love you more than anything in this whole world, and I'm never going to leave you again."

"Promise?" Gabe asked, covering his eyes.

"Yes, I promise," Jake said,  folding over him and scooping him in his arms. Gabe clung to his father for dear life. Jake bawled, Emma cried silently, and as Mitch grabbed her hand, his own eyes were red and wet.

"I promise, I promise. Never again. I'm home now," Jake swore, squeezing Gabe tight.

Gabe wiped his nose on his father's shoulders and rubbed his eyes. "Wanna see my room?"

"Yes, I want to see it," Jake said with a small, sniffled laugh of relief. Gabe led him to it.

When they were done, Emma looked at her wilting salad. "Shall we have dinner, or...?"

"I was hoping Gabe and I could go out, just the two of us," Jake said. Gabe nodded happily. "I told him that I'll be staying with my parents a while until I get the condo back. Gabe, do you want to stay here tonight or maybe come sleep over at Grandma's and Grandpa's with me? Whatever you want to do is fine with me as long as doesn't interrupt Aunt Emma's schedule."

Gabe looked at Emma, torn. She didn't know if he truly couldn't decide or didn't want to hurt feelings with his decision. "Why don't you pack a bag and decide where you want to stay later," she offered.

He smiled and ran back to his room to get his things together.

"Thanks Emma," Jake said. This time he went to hug her and she let him.

"He has an appointment with his therapist tomorrow. I'll send you the details in case."

Jake sighed the biggest sigh and both he and Emma teared up again.

"You guys are trying to kill me," Mitch said.

After Gabe and Jake left, Mitch put his arm around Emma. "How do you feel?"

She burst like a dam. "He's not coming back!" she wailed, and sobbed on his shoulder till she needed a Gatorade.

"Don't be silly," Mitch said. "He loves you. That's not going anywhere. Do you want me to stay over tonight?"

"Uhh, yes!" she sniffed, wondering why he felt he had to ask. "Why wouldn't I? Especially now that we're free to do whatever."

"I don't want you to think I assume I can come and go as I please."

"Of course you can. And I want you to stay."

"Alright, I will," he said, kissing her forehead. "Let's finish that detective show with that chain-smoking redhead."

As they settled down to snuggling on the couch, binge-watching the remaining episodes of the series they enjoyed, Emma found herself overcome by a sinking feeling. Gabe was leaving her. She chalked it up to being an empty-nest thing, but it was more than that. It was a purpose gone. And here on this couch, under the arm and leaning on the lap of the affectionate, attentive man she adored, it was still bothering her that he'd asked if she wanted him to stay over. It bothered her because things were changing. The hole was closed. The pact of secrecy done. Their relationship only affected them now. Even if she was being ridiculous, even if being together wasn't simply, as she'd once feared, convenient under those certain circumstances, the fact that they no longer existed made room for doubt. Mitch was meeting with his radio hotshots soon. His career was potentially about to take him in a new direction. Emma's year of grieving her sister was almost up. It was as if all her protective bubbles were bursting at once, and she was suddenly trying to ignore the fear of  exposure to what was to come next.

"Do you remember Columbo? She sounds like Columbo!" Mitch said. He did his best imitation of the detective's famous line,"'Just one more thing...'"

"'Just one more thing'," Emma repeated half-heartedly. Deep inside, she was dreading the reveal.