"Gabe, sweetie, are you asleep yet?" Emma whispered.

He rolled over to face her.

"Mr. Garner wanted to say hi."

She opened Gabe's door wider to let Mitch in as she turned on the light.

"Happy Birthday, buddy."

"I knew you wouldn't forget," Gabe said, smiling and rubbing his eyes. He sat up and wiggled his legs out of the way as an invitation for Mitch to sit at the end of his bed. If he really had been counting on Mitch's visit, it was a surprise to Emma, and she felt both relief and concern for barely avoiding what might have been another disappointment to him.

"I knew it was this week. I'm just lucky I found out in time."

"My own dad didn't remember."

"I'm sure he didn't forget," Mitch said.

"That makes it worse."

"Well," Mitch sighed, "I guess fathers and sons sometimes have complicated relationships. Sometimes you're not alike in the ways you think you should be or wish you were."

"I don't care anymore. I hope he gets crabs in Mexico."

Emma's eyes nearly popped out of her head. Mitch slowly turned to look at her, both trying not to laugh, before turning back to Gabe. "What do you mean by that?"

"Shazza said she went to Mexico on vacation and there was a crab living in the toilet so she couldn't go to the bathroom."

"Poor crabs," Mitch said. "Listen, do you know who Bobby and Barry Bonds are?"

"No."

"Father and son. Two of the greatest baseball players of all time, but a difficult relationship."

"Nuh-uh," Gabe said, and plucked at his quilt disinterestedly.

"Okay, let's see. What do you know?"

"Dinosaurs, robots, Titans of Lore cards, Horrible Histories..."

"History. Good. Alright, uhh...well, you must know about King Arthur and Camelot."

"I do, but it isn't really history, though."

"Fine, but you still know Lancelot, don't ya?"

"Yep."

"Okay, well he was supposed to be the greatest knight of all, but that turned out to be his son Galahad."

"Galahad peaced out after the Crusades."

"What do you mean he peaced out?"

"He did everything he wanted and said, 'Ok. I guess I'll die now', and then he just did. Just like that. All they found were his clothes."

"Maybe we should get off Galahad," Emma said.

"Ok, forget it," said Mitch. "I don't know where I was going with that anyway. Look, Gabe, I'm not a dad, but I was married a long time ago."

"What happened?"

"We got divorced."

"How come?"

"I wasn't a very good husband. I travelled a lot, and I didn't pay her enough attention and that made her sad. Sometimes she'd get mad which would make me mad and then we'd fight, but I didn't change what I was doing, so we split up. Then I realized my mistakes and apologized. She forgave me, but that was the end, and I had to live with those mistakes. Now, I'm telling you this because, when I was doing all that travelling and not paying attention and making her sad and fighting with her, I always loved her. I always, always did. I just didn't know how to do it properly. People make mistakes. But it doesn't mean they don't love you."

"People don't think it be like it is, but it do."

"It sure do," Mitch said, giving Gabe a pat on his leg. "So I heard you're having a party this weekend."

"I can't wait for Saturday. Are you going to come?"

"I don't know if I can handle an escape room. I'm might get claustrophobic. Tell you what, though. I'm shooting a live podcast tomorrow and I'm going to wish you Happy Birthday on it."

"Awesome. Can we listen to it?"

"You'll be in school, but after , yes," Emma said.

"Guess we should both get some sleep." Mitch said getting up. "Maybe save me a piece of cake. I'll come over for it and you can tell me how the party went."

"It's gonna be a blast," Emma said, looking at Gabe. "Get it? Dino extinction humour."

"Eight out of ten," said Gabe with a smile. He turned on his side to shut his eyes.

Emma walked Mitch to the door. "Thanks for that," she said sincerely.

He stepped into the hallway. "That's what neighbours are for. Friends, too, as it happens," he said with the barest smirk.

"Goodnight friend," said Emma. She watched him from her door until he got to his. "Don't get crabs in Mexico," she whispered. He nodded and smiled and let himself in.

In the same way she felt his distinct energy now gone from her home, she suddenly felt her sister's presence making an appearance. "What did we think of that?" Emma asked.

Her sister's response may only have been a feeling, an impression of Sophie's approval in words that formed as the thought, that there is a real man.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too," Emma said.

*****

Friday, Mitch was back in the hot seat in Howard's studio, only this time it would be with a hot mic. He questioned them doing a live stream on only his second show, but Howard and Cal went on about ad revenue and about Mitch's entire career being live, so he just accepted it was happening. This time, however, he insisted on a full topics list the night before the show. He was confident he had some good talking points and was ready to go. The guys agreed to let him open the show with his message for Gabe so he could use it to lead into a spot for their biggest advertiser.

"A quick Birthday shout-out to Gabe Jones who just turned nine years old. He's a heck of a kid, so I hope he doesn't get blown up with the dinosaurs tomorrow. It'd be a real shame. Speaking of the kids, don't forget White North Wonderland isn't just for summers anymore. Their fall season kicks off tomorrow and goes straight though to the Halloween haunt so hang onto those season passes, or get your hands on one today."

The trio started off with some softball subjects before Howard introduced Skate Canada's announced decision to send the same gendered figure skating duo, Miles Baylar and Jean Feydeau to the World Championships to compete in the Pairs competition. All agreed it was time, but for different reasons.

"I mean, it's dancing," Cal said. "We're used to watching anyone do it."

Mitch said, "The international skating union's main issue was that they didn't think audiences would watch the pair and ice dancing events if they didn't believe there was a real love story between skaters. There's no reason that wouldn't work with two men or two women."

"Yeah, the toothpaste is out of the tube, people," Howard agreed.

Cal added, "And as far as scoring, it's a matter of can or can't. There's no time to beat or line to cross first. Once the technical components are out of the way, the rest is flair, right? Subject to interpretation."

"Judging's where the real problems are," Howard said.

"I don't think it's only can or can't," said Mitch. "I mean, these are athletes. What about height and rotation and angles, et cetera? Execution isn't just flair, is it?"

"Okay, so let me ask you guys this," Howard posed, "What about the lifts and throws? Do you think two men would have an unfair advantage over two women? Or even a mixed pair?"

"I don't think I've ever heard any controversy over physiology in figure skating," Mitch said.

"So you do admit it's a problem in other sports when it comes to trans athletes?" Howard asked.

Something about his taunting tone made Mitch think this is where he hoped the conversation would go from the start. The idea that Howard was trying to goad him for ratings riled Mitch more than the topic he tried to do it with ever could.

"Uh, I don't think it's fair to assume or not assume a physical advantage at all, but I don't see how I'm qualified to answer that, so I guess I'll just follow the science."

"Most of the science is leaning towards there being no way to mitigate the advantage of post-pubescent male body, no matter how low a person's current testosterone levels are."

"Is it? Look, all I know is that I stand for inclusion. Sport is for everyone. I don't think people are undergoing these immense, intense, life changing therapies and procedures just because they think it'll be easier to win a gold medal. That being said, in competitive-level gendered sports, I do think we have to be fair to women who've been women since birth to figure out if those advantages do exist."

"So you believe the ISU and IOC and Athletics Canada should go back to gender testing?"

Mitch wanted to slug him.

"Can we go back to figure skaters?"

"Next up," Howard said. "You all remember that leaked footage of Olympic hopeful, mogul skier Darryl Roche assaulting his girlfriend, model India Capri in the limo? Now Capri is dropping the charges, but Roche was already dropped from the team. What do we think?"

"He did it. We all saw it. He deserved to get dropped," Mitch said.

"Capri admits to antagonizing him, though," Cal said. "People aren't comfortable with grey area, but it exists."

"I'm sorry, what?" Mitch asked.

Howard said, "I will say his fans on social media put a lot of pressure on her. It didn't help her when Hollywood power couple Hugh Farmer and Kiki Westwood released that statement of support for him."

"They spoke to his character and being a role model," Cal said, "but they didn't deny he did it."

"What kind of role model hits a woman? You don't do it, period," Mitch said.

"Excuse me," said Howard, "but isn't that sexist? And with everyone swapping genders are you even allowed to say stuff like that anymore?"

"Okay, how about this, if you're a trained athlete, find someone twice your size with at least your skill level to wail on, and maybe I'll look the other way."

"What if India Capri used to be a man? How would Mitch Garner feel about that?" Howard asked.

Maybe it was Mitch's silence, or heavy nose breathing, or the death stare, but Howard dropped it. "We'll be right back," he said, pushing a button.

"Jesus H. Christ, Howard! What the fuck?"

"...after a word from our sponsors." Howard finished his sentence, then hit another button that played the cued commercial.

"Fuckssake, Mitch!" he exploded. You can't say 'fuck' on this show!"

"I thought the commercial was rolling. I've never cursed on air in my life."

"White North Wonderland is going to have a shit fit!"

"I'm sorry, but what the hell am I doing here? This is political nonsense and entertainment news, not sports."

"It's what people want to listen to."

"Well, it's not what I want to talk about."

"Let's just get through the next twenty minutes, okay. Thank God we didn't throw any money into promoting you yet."

The studio was as tense as a war room. When the commercial break was over, Howard made no excuse for what came before it. "Next up: What's Beckham done to his hair now?"

"Pass!" Mitch said, absolutely pissed.

*****

Emma hadn't been so uncomfortable listening to a conversation since Glen tried to organize a Woody Allen trivia night for the building. Given all the 'gotcha' questions, she thought Mitch handled himself well, minus the swear-y outburst which was both poorly and perfectly timed. When she got home, Gabe seemed more excited to hear Mitch's message to him than about his party happening the next day. It only took searching for the video for Emma to see that Mitch was starting to go viral.

She told Gabe there was no point listening to the rest of the show, but as she began making dinner she heard him resume playing it. When they got to the swearing, he ran into the kitchen with a giddy look on his face like he'd just been buzzed at an airshow.

"Holy smokes! Is he in trouble?"

"Not really, but people have opinions. Do you understand why he was upset?"

"Because the other guys weren't listening to him?"

"God, you're smart," she said, "but don't tell Mitch you watched the whole thing, okay?"

After dinner she knocked on Mitch's door to offer him dessert and a friendly ear. He didn't answer. It wasn't until after Gabe's party the next night that she heard him call from the bathroom.

"Hey short stack! You there?"

"Which short stack are you addressing?" Emma called back.

"Either, but you'll do," he said.

"You need me to leave?"

"No."

They both moved their pillowcases out of the way.

"Well, did you hear it?" he asked.

He looked haggard and fed up. A wide dark curl flopped onto his forehead because he needed a cut. He looked dehydrated, she thought, but maybe it was because she'd never seen his face with the shadow of stubble before.

"Yes, I did. That sounded like some real Mean Girls tag teaming over there."

"Exactly!"

"I mean, did they do that on purpose or...? Wait. Hold on. You don't know Pretty In Pink, but you know Mean Girls?"

"Google it," Mitch said.

When Emma did, she found a video where they dubbed the three-way phone attack scene from the movie with Howard and Mitch's conversation.

"Yipes. This really blew up, huh?" she said.

"Go ahead, laugh if you want."

"It's just because it's exactly what I thought of," she said and laughed a little.

"I'll admit, the Gifs and memes are pretty funny too. Especially the ones that zero in on Howie's eyes just before he says, 'after a word from our sponsors. What's driving me nuts is all these right-wings trolls trying to claim me as one of their own and these trans advocacy groups trying to paint me as a, I don't know, ignorant, or a bigot or something."

"Just stop looking. There's really no news here. You did great, considering. It'll blow over soon. Honestly," Emma said.

Just then, Gabe whipped around the corner.

"Hiya, buddy," Mitch said.

"Hey, thanks for my Birthday shout out!" he said.

"No problem. Did you hear the rest?"

"Not really," he said, obviously lying in the way he looked at Emma.

"You're better at it than that," she said, shaking her head.

"It's okay," said Mitch.

"My therapist used to be a boy," Gabe said.

"How do you know?"

"The names on her degrees on the wall were different for our first session," Emma said.

"I told her about you saying my name on the podcast and she said she heard."

"How'd she say it?" Mitch asked.

"Just, 'I heard'," Gabe shrugged.

"Like, 'I heard'," Mitch said simply with an agreeable nod. "Or 'I heard'," he said, lowering pretend glasses and pinching his lips in disapproval.

"I dunno. Just 'I heard'. Want me to ask her how she meant it?"

"Nah, that's okay. Okay, ask, but don't tell her I asked you to. Never mind."

"Okay," Gabe said, and returned to his bag of birthday presents in the living room.

"Let me tell you, Emma, you know what the worst part of this is? People trying to defend me by saying shit like, 'Aww, leave the geezer alone. He's trying but he doesn't know what he's talking about.' It's so goddamned patronizing, and not true at all."

"That you're not a geezer?"

"I'm in my prime here," he said, half-jokingly.

" How old are you?" Emma asked, leaning forward with both hands on her counter.

"Older than you."

"Not by much."

"Why, how old are you?"

"Why should I tell you?" Emma said, pretending playfully to be bothered by it.

Mitch leaned closer into the hole. "Why wouldn't you?" he said, adorably smug, or so she thought.

Was this flirting? It felt like it was. Was it? "Come on," she said. "You're...fifty? Fifty and change?"

"Please. Allow me to maintain a little mystique." He closed the pillowcase again in a very, slow, dramatic fashion.

Emma couldn't help but giggle. She also couldn't help, when she was sure he was gone, to say to herself, "You look fine to me."

"Did you say something?" Mitch asked. It was hard to tell how close he was.

Shit! she thought. He couldn't have heard. He at least couldn't be sure he heard what he did if he had.

"Fifty-three?" she guessed loudly.

"Give up!" he laughed.