When the boys were in University, they lived right around the corner from a chicken and burger fast food place called The Cluck & Chuck. It was convenient and cheap, pretty much the only two things that matter to the not-so-discerning palette of a university student. So you would think that the place would have been a second home for the guys but the truth is, they never spent a lot of time there.

The first time they went, the chicken was still half frozen, the burgers were charred and fries were greasy enough to be considered a genuine fire hazard. Needless to say, they didn't return anytime soon.

But about a year later Niko found himself walking by the place and thinking to himself, 'the Cluck & Chuck, I haven't been there in ages. I should pop in and give it a try.' And so he went in, ordered the same thing as the previous year, and two bites in, it struck him. 'THIS is why I haven't been here in ages'.

Niko would repeat this process once a year, like clockwork. He probably ate there a dozen times in his life. Each visit, as unpleasant as the one that came before. The repeated visits were not because Niko is some kind of gastro-sadist. It's because the brain has a way of blocking out or glossing over unpleasant experiences from the past. This then creates a false-sense of nostalgia for the good ole days that were rarely anything close to being good.

So when Niko looked up at his front deck and saw Ellen chatting and laughing it up with Louie, he saw the one person who caused his best friend the most agony and misery he ever experienced in the entirety of his lifetime.

But he also knew when Jeff laid eyes on her, he would see something completely different. Jeff would see The Cluck & Chuck.

"What the fuck is she doing here," Niko says as he not-so subtly drags Louie by the collar to an unoccupied corner of the deck.

"You are not going to believe this," Louie says, too excited about what he was finally able to reveal.

"I already don't believe it," Niko says.

"Ellen is the leader of the Honey Harbour Honeys!"

"I stand corrected. That goes light years beyond unbelievable and has landed squarely into are-you-out-of-your-fucking-mind territory."

"I'm telling you, it's all true. The other day when I went to Mermaid Island....

*******************************************************

FLASHBACK TO MERMAID ISLAND

"No fucking way!"

Louie wasn't sure what to expect when he was taken on a mysterious trek to find the leader of the Honey Harbour Honeys. If he were being honest with himself, he was really hoping it would be one of his favorite SI swimsuit edition cover models Paulina Porizkova, Kathy Ireland, or Elle MacPherson.

Being pleasured by a group of hyper-sexualized lake-nymphs led by one of his boyhood fantasy women would just be karma for all the haters who said he was on a fool's errand. A modern day Don Qixote with a pharmaceutically enhanced erection.

But as unlikely as this was of coming true, it would have still seemed far more likely than discovering Jeff's ex-wife standing there waiting to greet him.

"Hi Louie!"

"Ellen, what are you doing here?"

"I've been coming here for years, you know that."

Now that she mentioned it, he does recall something about Ellen going up to visit her cousin somewhere in cottage country. For the last five years of their marriage, Ellen and Jeff would routinely take separate cottage trips to the same general area. Jeff would do the Canada Day boys trip while Ellen would do crafts and wine tasting with her cousin. Or at least that's the best guess Louie can come up with. When Jeff would tell him where Ellen was going and what she was doing, Louie filed all that information in the part of brain labeled 'stuff Louie doesn't care about'.

So what came out of his mouth next could kindly be considered a performance, but more accurately described as complete horseshit. "Don't be silly, of course I remember. How could I forget?"

"I understand you're here looking for...entertainment," Ellen offers cautiously.

"Yes, I am!"

"Am I correct in assuming you are looking for group entertainment?"

"You could be," Louie says.

"Well, I think my girls are exactly what you're looking for."

"You have a group of girls?" Louie can barely contain his excitement.

"They haven't failed to please yet. I think they are exactly what you've come looking for."

"Are they here?" Louie is seconds away from ripping of his shirt right there on the spot.

"No, they aren't here. They go to you. Are you having a party at Niko's cottage this weekend?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact we are. Two nights from now."

"Me and my girls will be there."

***************************************************

"Remember me?"

The sound of her voice went right through Jeff like a bolt of lightning. He turned around to see Ellen and he froze. He wasn't terrified, he wasn't thrilled, he was just paralyzed.

"Well don't just stand there. Give me a hug." Ellen goes up to him and throws her arms around him. Jeff reciprocates more out of obligation than genuine affection.

"Ellen, wow! What..." he couldn't find a polite way to finish the sentence.

"What am I doing here? Louie invited me."

Ashley decides to sidle up and join this impromptu reunion. Jeff doesn't notice that Ashley is there and it falls on Ellen to introduce herself. She offers Ashley her hand.

"Hi, I'm Ellen."

Ashley shakes her hand. "Ashley."

Just the one word was enough to trigger something in Ellen's memory. There is something very familiar in Ashley's look and the sound of her voice but she can't quite place it. "Have we met before."

Ashley is now horrified as the memory of the only time they crossed paths comes rushing back. The night of the high school reunion when Ashley was charged with the task of distracting Ellen.

"I love this material. So soft to the touch."

"Thank you." Ellen says cautiously.

"It looks great on you. It really compliments your figure. God, you have such a great body."

"No, I don't think we have," Ashley says, praying her nose won't grow five inches right there on the spot.

Ellen turns her attention back toward Jeff. "God, you look really good."

"Thanks," he says sheepishly.

"Have you been working out? Are you eating vegan?" Ellen asks sincerely.

Ashley scoffs just a little louder than what she intended. Ellen and Jeff look at her.

"Oh, you were serious?" Ashley says.

"No I haven't been working out, not eating vegan, but I have been trying new things."

"Did I hear you're coaching a girl's basketball team?"

"That's true. I just started last month. They don't have a lot natural talent but they make up it by really detesting their coach."

Ellen laughs, a bit too much for Ashley's liking.

"I've been trying new things, taking on new adventures all in an attempt to become the new Jeff Dempsey. I'm even vlogging about it"

"Really? Jeff Dempsey with a vlog? It's hard to imagine."

"It's true."

"Well I have to say, it's really working for you."

There is something in that comment that really puts Jeff at ease. What defences he had up are suddenly dropped. It's been forever since he can recall seeing Ellen this pleasant and personable. It reminds him of how they were when they first got together.

"Thank you!" he says.

"So no personal trainer, no home chef, you've been doing this all by yourself?" Ellen asks.

She couldn't have teed it up any better for Jeff to give Ashley her due. Anyone who's been around Jeff since the high school reunion knows he wouldn't be anywhere without Ashley. False modesty aside, Ashley knows it too. Which is what made what happened next all the more painful.

"Yep, it's a solo journey. I get up every day and try to do one thing the old me was too afraid to do."

Not giving her credit is one thing. Snubbing her while stealing the mantra she came up with is entirely too much for her to take right now. Ashley rushes out of the cottage, afraid she's going to either burst into tears or a murderous rage.

******************************************

"Is there a Louie here?"

The voice has a seasoned, husky tone to it. This is clearly not the voice of a young ingénue or delicate wilting flower. No, as soon as he hears it, Louie knows the woman to whom that voice belongs has experience. She's been around long enough to see a thing or two in her day. He hasn't yet turned around to confirm but he doesn't have to. In his gut, he knows he's right.

What he doesn't know is just how right he is.

He turns around and before he can say anything, four women aged 70 and up break out into a song and dance performance of "The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B."

He has to blink and shake his head to ensure his eyes aren't deceiving him. They can all sing, there is nothing wrong with the performance but as he goes from one singer to the next, each one looks that much closer to death than the one before. It is as if Pitch Perfect is being performed by the Crypt Keeper's grandmothers.

When it ends, the performance draws a smattering of applause from those nearby. One person who is not applauding is Louie who is still too stunned to process what has just happened.

"What the fuck is this?" Louie exclaims.

"We're the entertainment you asked for," Nancy, the lead singer says. "We're the Honey Harbour Hollies."

And in that moment Louie discovers that like a lot of urban legends, there is often a colonel of truth surrounded by bullshit. In this case, the Honey Harbour Hollies have been around entertaining men for decades. Just not in the way Louie hoped.

******************************************

Niko finds Ashley collecting herself in a secluded area down by the water. He walks up to her and puts his hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Why do I keep doing this to myself?" Ashley asks rhetorically. "Just when I think I have my shit together, it's like I take six steps back."

"I know you don't want to hear this but you have to go tell him how you feel. Right now."

"He doesn't want to hear it from me."

"He doesn't know he wants to hear it from you. And he's never going to know if he keeps spending time with that succubus in my kitchen."

"Why do you care? Shouldn't you be out sticking it to a married woman...again?"

"I know I allowed the Beth thing to get in the way of my plans to get you and Jeff together but it's not too late for you. Don't let that window close on you."

"Oh please! What do you know about 'closing windows'?"

"More than anyone really should," he says as he walks away, leaving her with her thoughts.

Ashley considers what he says and she knows he's not totally wrong but there is no way she can face Jeff after what he just did to her.

"He's right, you know." The voice startles Ashley and she turns to see that Beth has joined her.

"You heard us?" Ashley asks.

"I heard enough. And I've seen the way you look at him. I know that look well. I've worn it more than a few times in the last 17 years."

"How did you know when it's time to move on?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," Beth says.

"I mean that time on the dock just after you got engaged when you told Niko that it was over for good."

"Is that what you think happened?"

****************************************

FLASHBACK

Beth gives Ashley her account of what happened that last night Niko and Beth saw each other. The day they were supposed to leave for the island was filled with a mix of excitement and dread for Beth. She couldn't wait to take that getaway trip with Niko but she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

First off, her family was acting extremely weird that whole weekend. They usually didn't micro-manage her time but suddenly they had to know where she was and what she was doing every minute of the day.

Her older sister insisted on them going on a nature hike to Jordan's Lookout, one of the more scenic hiking trails in the area. It was where she and Matt first went when they decided to be exclusive with each other. So when she reached the lookout and found Matt down on one knee with a string quartet playing behind him, it should not have been a complete surprise.

Except it was.

She had never for a moment considered marrying Matt. They were fine as a couple but they fought quite a bit. At first she thought it was just part of being in a relationship but when she looked around and saw that for most other couples, fights were the exception and not the default setting, she figured there must be something wrong.

And when she restarted her fling with Niko, she didn't really consider it cheating. In her mind Matt was her ex-boyfriend, she just hadn't gotten around to telling him that yet. He wasn't supposed to be here that weekend. And if she had any inkling this was coming, she would have put a stop to it before it got this far.

But here she is. Being proposed to by her would-be Prince Charming in front of her family members at Jordan's Lookout. What could she say? 'I think we should slow down and give this some thought. I'm not saying no but I definitely can't give you a yes right now. Calgon, take me away'?

Any of those would have been acceptable if they were alone. But right there, at that moment, in that situation, it appeared as if she had only one acceptable course of action.

"Yes!" she says as she holds out her left hand so Matt can slip on the ring.

The following week when she finally saw Niko, she was going to tell him everything. Why she had to bail on him and how she was trapped into accepting the proposal. But it didn't play out the way she hoped.

Beth recalls the conversation pretty much as Niko relayed it. With one important distinction.

"So it looks like congratulations are in order," Niko offered with mock enthusiasm.

"I guess so."

"You know you could have told me."

"I didn't know."

"You didn't know you got engaged to be married?"

"I didn't know this was happening at all. Matt planned it all with parents. He had the whole thing set up for the night we were supposed to go to the island. I didn't even know he was coming up. He said he wanted it to be a surprise."

"Surprise!"

"I wanted to tell you right away. I needed you to know I would never knowingly leave you hanging like it. But I also wanted to give you time to cool off."

He looks at her for a few moments. "So...that's it then!" The statement is cold and matter-of-fact. No need to parse it for hidden meaning.

"That's it?" she asks in complete disbelief. How can he end things just like that?

"Well Mazel Tov then. I wish you both the very best."

Niko walks off and looks back one more time over his shoulder. Had be taken more than a cursory glance he would have seen that Beth is not laughing at his rage, she is sobbing in her hands.

**********************************************

Present Day

"God, he was so petulant and pig-headed. He acted like such a..." Beth can't come up with just the right word.

"...man?" Ashley offers. This brings a smile to Beth's face.

"Yes. Like a man. I didn't go to him that night to tell him I got engaged. I went to him to give me even the tiniest reason why I shouldn't go through with it."

"So why did you marry Matt?"

"I wish I could tell you. I think the engagement was just one of those things where once I did it, it got harder and harder to un-do. I know one thing that would have put the breaks on it though."

"What's that?"

"If I had seen Niko the day of my wedding, there's no way I would have gone through with it. We would have had a real like runaway bride situation on our hands."

"Was he invited?"

"My parents wanted to invite all the cottagers to the wedding but I never sent his invitation. It's weird, I buried his invitation but I was still hoping he'd show up."

"He doesn't know any of this. He thinks you just threw him away. You have to go tell him!"

"If one of us had voiced our true feelings, who knows what could have happened. But I'm not the one who has to go tell a boy how I feel."

Sometimes those ghosts that we think are there to haunt us aren't scary ghosts at all. They're more like friendly spirits who help guide us and point us in the right direction when we find ourselves hopelessly lost.

"Go to him," Beth says emphatically. "Don't make my mistake. Don't let foolish pride keep you from voicing your truth."

**************************************

Louie sits on the couch in Niko's cottage sullen, seemingly absent of any life or hope. His despair is evident to anyone who passes by.

"Why are you so sad?" Nancy asks as she sits down beside him.

"I was really hoping to find a group of lake nymphs who would reward me with unlimited sensual pleasures but it turns out they're not real."

"Acapella singers are horny as fuck," Nancy says. Louie's head snaps up. "Why do you think we do this? We need to get that sweet D."

Another comes by and sits down on Louie's other side. "Have you ever done a double century club?"

"What is it?" Louie asks with a trembling in his voice.

"It's like a three-way but the when the combined age in the bed is at least 200."

Louie is intrigued...and a little horrified...but mostly intrigued.

************************************

Niko finds Beth out by the water." "I thought I'd find you here."

Whenever ghosts do appear, it is almost always to deliver a message.

"We're never going to take that trip to the Island, are we?"

"No we're not."

That message could be as simple as it's time to close a chapter in your heart."

"Being with you Beth is like drinking seawater. It doesn't quench that thirst and just leaves you desperate for more."

"I know."

They fall into each other's arms and hold each other tight for one last time.

************************************

Or they could manifest themselves in a ghastly physical appearance as a punishment for the foolhardy for the ill-advised path they have pursued.

In Louie's bedroom, the geriatric Honey Harbour Hollies disrobe and are about to slip in to Louie's bed. Just as the last item of clothing hits the floor, the clouds part and moonlight pours in the open window illuminating the Hollies in their full nakedness. For their age, the Hollies have held up fairly well and should be proud. However, for someone as shallow as Louie, the image is jarring and more than a little disturbing. "Noooooooooooo!"

*********************************

Ashley walks briskly around the cottage grounds looking for Jeff. She has looked seemingly everywhere but to no avail. It the occurs to her that she had not checked the porch swing Niko set up behind the cottage. As she rounds the corner she can't decide is she wants to find him back here or not.

And sometimes you don't have to wait around and wonder when the ghosts will appear.

Ashley turns the corner and stops dead when she sees Jeff and Ellen cuddling and kissing on the swing. Ashley spins on her heel and walks away as tears stream down her face.

Because that exact moment when the opportunity dies is when they show up and the haunting begins.