The Cedar Room has always been a sanctuary for the gang. It's the place where they go to seek refuge from the choppy waters and dark skies of everyday life. And so in a time where weird has become the new normal, the feeling they have sitting at their usual table is one of general uneasiness.

Just as Ashley's absence cast a pall over Sunday brunch, Jeff's empty chair at the table makes it seemingly impossible for Niko, Louie, and Ashley to relax. Dr. Moore's wake ended only a few hours ago and his funeral will take place in about twelve hours from now. And since we're counting hours, it's been more than seven since the last time any of them had a confirmed Jeff Dempsey sighting.

Niko and Louie have known Jeff for an eternity but they can't come up with a good lead on where he could be. He's not at Ellen's, his parent's place, his sister's place, their favorite wing place, or Jeff's favorite dumplings place.

Just to be extra thorough, Louie made sure Jeff wasn't at any of the strip clubs in the city. Good ole' Louie, always selflessly going the extra mile for a friend.

"I'm out of ideas, I have no sweet clue where he could be," Niko announces as he brings a fresh round of drinks to the table. Louie and Ashley gladly grab a much-needed drink after a long day that shows no sign of letting up anytime soon.

Louie turns to Ashley. "Aren't you supposed to be some kind of psychic/voodoo person? Shouldn't you be able to find him?"

"What is it that you think I do, exactly?" Ashley asks.

For his part, Niko can't stop thinking of the logistical ramifications of the situation. "What do we do if he doesn't show up to deliver that eulogy? We can't leave Dr. Moore hanging like that."

"I'll do it," Louie says matter-of-factly.

"NO!!!!" both Niko and Ashley cry out in unison.

Before Louie can make his case as to why he would be the perfect replacement, a fourth shows up to join them at the table.

"Caitlyn, you made it!" Louie says.

She comes over and gives Louie a quick embrace and sits down in what should be Jeff's seat. There's not one bit of this that is sitting well with Niko.

"Caitlyn's here," Niko says through gritted teeth. "Why is Caitlyn here? Why are you here?" he says turning towards her.

Ashley ignores Niko's rudeness and poses a friendlier question to Caitlyn. "Have you heard anything from Ellen? Does she know where Jeff is right now?"

Caitlyn looks sullen. "No, she hasn't heard anything. I hope he's okay."

"So you're not here with news about Jeff?' Niko says.

"No, I'm here to spend some time with Louie."

"REALLY???" Once again, Niko and Ashley respond perfectly in sync.

"This Louie?" Niko says pointing to Louie like a witness identifying the murder in a courtroom.

"You bet! Isn't he something?"

"Oh he's something all right," Niko says. "Modern science just can't quite determine what."

"Well, I think he's a real cutie."

"SERIOUSLY???" Yet again, Niko and Ashley respond as one.

"Okay, we need to stop doing that," Ashley says.

Niko cannot stop thinking about their predicament. "Guys we need to figure out where he is soon or this is going to be a disaster. There's got to be a place we're not thinking of."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

March 1995

It's been three days since the Holy Trinity High School boys' basketball team won the 1995 Provincial Championship. Ginny has arrived at the school gym a full hour and a half before classes start and a good hour before the first students will be arriving.

She prefers to do her equipment manager duties early so she can get her work done undisturbed. Her task for that morning is to input the stats from the provincial playoffs into the brand new computer system in the Athletic Director's office, just off the main gym.

This is her first experience working with Windows '95 and she's fairly certain this is the most advanced computing platform she will ever use in her life. Hey, cut her some slack, it was 1995.

This thought is interrupted by a familiar sound coming from the gym. It's the familiar sound of a basketball bouncing off the hardwood and occasionally "swishing" the mesh.

Ginny wanders out to see Jeff in his street clothes shooting baskets in the empty gym.

"Have you come down from the high yet?" she asks.

Jeff doesn't look at her as he fires up another shot. "Nope, not yet."

"You guys played great. You played great."

"Thanks."

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Ginny starts to head back to her computer work. She only takes a few steps when.

"Hey, you doing anything Friday night?"

This freezes her in her tracks. Did he just ask what she thinks he asked?

"This Friday?"

"Yeah, the guys are throwing a Purple Jesus party to celebrate the Provincial title. It's going to be epic. You should come."

"Thanks but that's not really my scene. And my Mom would never allow it."

"Your call. But you really did help the other day. I can promise you I'll never forget it."

"I'm glad." There is another prolonged silence for a few moments. "So do you usually hang out in the gym by yourself?"

"I like to come here when nobody else is here and shoot around some. It's not for practice, it's where I can do my best thinking."

"Makes sense."

"So I guess I'll see you around then," he says casually.

"We don't really run in the same circles."

"Then...until we meet again."

Ginny smiles. "Until we meet again."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley awakens and sits upright in her bed. She's trying to make sense of what she just experienced. She was just in the gym with Jeff right after they won Provincials.

Was it a dream? It couldn't be because it actually happened. She remembers every bit of it. So what do you call it when you dream of something that actually happened? Is her subconscious trying to send her a message? If so, what?

Then it dawns on her. There was only one pertinent piece of information that could be of any use. It seemed like a lottery shot but it's the only hunch she's had since Jeff disappeared.

Just under an hour later, Ashley arrives at Holy Trinity School and heads straight downstairs to the gym. While she has no business being there, she is moving with such focus and determination, nobody thinks to stop and question her. It is true that if you act like you are supposed to be somewhere, people will generally assume you belong. This plays to her advantage this morning but is still a bit unsettling that apparently anyone can just waltz into a high school unchecked.

When she hears that familiar sound once again, she says a quiet thank you to her guardian angels who pointed her in the right direction. Even though logically it is 100 times more likely to be a student in the gym, she knows in her gut, it's Jeff.

And she's right.

"You're still flaring out your elbow," she says with a smile.

"Did you come here to drag me to the funeral?" he asks with just a hint of accusation.

"I came to make sure you're okay." She looks around like she's expecting someone to come barging in at any moment. "How are we not getting thrown out of here?"

"I told the Athletic Director I'm an alumnus who's getting ready to deliver Dr. Moore's eulogy."

"Are you?"

"If I can get into the headspace. It's why I came here."

"Does giving that eulogy really have you twisted up this badly?"

"It's not the eulogy...well, not just that. This may not make sense but I can't shake the feeling that I have this huge life choice to make and the window to make it is closing quickly. The thing is, I'm not even sure what the decision is."

"Believe it or not, I know how you feel. Let's just tackle this one step at a time. So about the eulogy, don't think of it as a burden."

"How else can I think of it?"

"Do you know how many lives he touched over the years? And of all those people, he asked you to pay tribute to his life and his career. It really is a tremendous honour."

"I just wish I could make myself see it that way."

"Here's what I'm going to do. Sometimes when my clients are stuck on one particular issue, I'll write them out a key."

"A key?"

"It's a phrase or sentence that helps them gain perspective in the moment and hopefully, enables them to move forward. Even if it's just a step or two."

Ashley pulls out a notepad and a pen from her purse and begins to write something. She folds the piece of paper and hands it to Jeff. "When you get up there and you feel like you can't go forward, look at this and it will get you through."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

As Jeff steps foot inside St. Malachy's Catholic Church, he freezes. Ashley continues ahead, not yet noticing that Jeff is immobile just inside the doorway. He is immediately struck by a sense of déjà vu. There is something familiar about this situation.

And then it hits him.

Just like the first night he "re-met" Ashley, she had to talk him into giving a speech he was more than a little reluctant to give. The thought makes him smile but isn't enough to snap him out of his temporary paralysis.

From behind an elderly gentleman places his hand on Jeff's shoulder. "He was a good man. I'm very sorry."

"I appreciate that. It's mostly your fault."

With that, Jeff bounds forward and takes his seat in a reserved section of the pews.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's the thing you have to know about the Catholic Funeral Mass. It's one of the only services that has the choose-your-own-adventure feature. The family has the option of going with the full Mass with all the bells and whistles or an abbreviated version. There is also the opportunity to add personal touches to pay tribute to important aspects of the deceased's life. In this case, one of Dr. Moore's greatest passions were bagpipes. So it was very important to him that this is included in the service.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bagpiper in full Highland dress stands at the front of the church and plays a solemn and hauntingly beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace. The funeral attendees are captivated by the blissful melodies that fill the room. Needless to say, they are more than a little shocked when four men in the front jump up, grab the bagpiper, throw him to the ground and start punching and kicking him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention...Dr. Moore HATED bagpipes. Would you expect anything less from the guy who turns "funeral" into "real fun"? And the bagpiper, while initially frightened, wasn't hurt. They were pulling their punches and kicks. It was more of a symbolic beat-down. It's just a shame Dr. Moore couldn't be there to see it. Anyway, after they tossed him out the side door, the funeral could continue with its regularly scheduled programming. And next on the agenda was...the eulogy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeff steps up to the pulpit and pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket. He scribbled down a few thoughts to carry him through. He didn't want to write out a full text for fear of it sounding too rigid. Or that's what he told himself. If he were being totally honest, he'd tell you he couldn't bring himself to commit those thoughts to writing.

"What can you say about a man...." He catches himself. That's a terrible beginning. He looks for a better opening. "When God made Dr. Moore he..." Oh come on, that's even worse, he thinks to himself.

Two false starts and now panic is beginning to set in. "Webster's dictionary defines greatness as..." Are you kidding me! That's the worst! Jeff's inner critic is throwing a hissy fit and it doesn't look like he's going to get through this.

Then he catches Ashley's glance. She gives him a subtle nod. Jeff exhales and reaches in his shirt pocket. He pulls out the key and opens it up. It reads...

You don't have to give the eulogy. You get to give the eulogy.

Upon reading it, Jeff is rocked on his feet. What is this power she has to reach through his inner turmoil and get to the heart of it? In an instant, he is taken back to...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

July 2005

Jeff and Dr. Moore sit outside on a sidewalk patio enjoying a cold beer as they wrap up a game of chess. After reconnecting at the 10 year-reunion the previous month, they made a point to get together on a regular basis. These meet-ups became known as "coffee breaks" despite the fact very little coffee was consumed.

Once Dr. Moore cornered Jeff's queen, the match was over. Jeff hauls out his flip phone and looks at the time. "I gotta run. I have to go meet my friends for drinks."

Dr. Moore suddenly turns very serious. "Jeff my boy, don't ever let me catch you saying that ever again."

Jeff is taken aback. Dr. Moore had a naturally jovial disposition so the serious tone is a bit surprising and unsettling for Jeff. He can't even respond.

"There is nothing more precious in this world than the opportunity to spend time with the people you really care about. There are so many people in this world who will pull you down and try to make you feel less than. When you have a chance to spend time with those who make you feel special and appreciated, cherish it," Dr. Moore says.

"But how do I know who belongs in what category?"

"Remember what I taught you about litmus tests. They will always give you the answer?"

"That's great advice but how do I do that in everyday life?"

"Ask yourself this question – do I have to spend time with this person, or do I get to spend time with this person?" Jeff smiles broadly as he takes this in. "So you were saying?" Dr. Moore adds.

"I have to run, I get to spend time with my friends."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In real time, Jeff paused for no more than a couple of seconds but in his head, he re-lived the entire incident. And when he snapped back to reality, everything suddenly started to come into sharp focus for him. He crumpled up the paper with his scribbled notes and adopted a more relaxed stance.

"You know what the problem with eulogies is? You're always too late in saying what you need to say to someone. There are so many things I could tell you about Dr. Moore. What he meant to me and so many other people."

Jeff is lost in a thought and starts chuckling to himself.

"He was the funniest person I knew. Those who knew him only as a scholar and teacher may not have appreciated it but he made me laugh every time we were together. And making him laugh was the highlight of my day. With the notable exception of the bagpiper, I think you all appreciated his sense of humour today."

The gathered crowd breaks out into laughter.

"I could go on but what's the point? It's all stuff I should have said two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago."

Again he catches Ashley's glance and looks deep into her eyes. "Wouldn't it be great if just once you could tell that person what they need to hear before it's too late."

There's a flash of something in Ashley's eyes. Where is he going with this?

"A very wise person once told me that to become the best version of myself, I had to do one thing every day that the old me was too afraid to do."

One of the mourners turns to the person beside her. "He was a very wise man indeed," she whispered.

"I thought I knew what that meant but I don't think I fully realized the significance until right now. You see, I almost wasn't here today. I almost fell back into being the old Jeff Dempsey who was governed by fear and small thinking. But someone helped me see that is no way to go through life. I was lost in the wilderness and they found me, shone a light and said follow me, I'll never steer you wrong."

Jeff is hit with a series of quick-hit flashbacks.

In school after the 51 point game.... "I don't know whether or not I should listen to anything else you say," "Oh, you definitely should. I'd never steer you wrong, Jeff."

At Ashley's apartment..."Trust me. I'd never steer you wrong, Jeff."

After a barely noticeable pause, Jeff soldiers on. He's picking up steam as he goes. "There really are two types of people in this world. Those who make you feel less than and those who convince you that you can be more than you ever dreamed of.

Jeff catches himself in thought. He inhales deeply.

"The ones who love us best are the ones we'll lay to rest, and visit their graves on holidays at best. The ones who love us least are the ones we'll die to please. If its any consolation I don't begin to understand it. I didn't write that. Paul Westerberg did but it seems to make more sense to me than ever before.

Jeff pauses as he momentarily scans the room.

"If you're wondering if someone falls in the category of the first kind or the second kind, here's a simple litmus test. The first kind are the people you have to spend time with. The second are the people, if you're lucky enough, you get to spend time with.

Now the flashbacks are hitting him like lightning bolts.

"Hey Niko, I won't be able to make it out tonight. I have to help Ellen with some IKEA shopping..."

Talking about Ashley with Niko..."I guess. I mean I always enjoy it when we get to spend time together."

Now he makes eye contact with Ellen.

"I spent way too much time trying to please someone who couldn't be pleased. Trying to fill that bottomless void left me shattered and almost unrecognizable from who I used to be."

And then I met one of the other types of people. The ones who fill you up rather than spiritually sucking you dry. They convince you that you can do almost anything. They believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself."

He chuckles to himself.

"And let me tell you, when you finally see it, you feel so stupid. How could you not have seen it all along? It was right in front of you and yet at the same time, invisible. Just like Dorothy's ruby slippers."

This inside baseball is reference is lost in everyone except Ashley who can't fight off a little smile.

"All that time, they were there for you and you never really appreciated it. But then one day, it just hits you. That person who you saw as a friend and a mentor, turns out to be so much more than that.

Jeff has now locked eyes with Ashley and holds her gaze.

"You realize – I am madly, deeply, completely in love with this person."

Ashley's jaw drops. The mourners who clearly thought he was talking about Dr. Moore now appear confused and more than a little uncomfortable. Ashley gets up and quickly leaves. Jeff sees her start to leave and looks for a way to wrap it up as quickly as he can.

"Dr. Moore was a great man who helped me as much in death as he did in life. I will carry his wisdom with me until the day I die. For that, I will be forever grateful."

Jeff rushes off the pulpit and starts for the main exit. He passes Ellen who is seated in the aisle towards the back of the church.

"What was that all about?" she hisses.

Jeff doesn't break stride. "Yeah, we're done. Have a nice life."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That may have been the first time Jeff ended a relationship while in a full sprint but he wasn't thinking about that at the moment. He didn't know where Ashley was headed or even if he'd see her again. He just knew he couldn't let her go without saying what he needs to say.

Jeff stops in the middle of the public park and looks around in all directions. There, off to left, is Ashley in a full brisk walk. Jeff resumes his sprint and starts calling after her. "Ashley! Ashley!"

He catches up to her but is barely able to speak. He hasn't had to run like that since his ill-fated basketball comeback.

"It's you." He spits out between deep gasps of breath. "I was talking about you."

"Yeah, I got that."

"Then why are you running away?"

Ashley just shakes her head and searches for a way to explain what is going on inside of her.

"From the time I was 15 years old I dreamt of the day Jeff Dempsey would tell me he loved me. And now, that you have... "

"You're disappointed?" Jeff asks sheepishly.

"No, I'm terrified."

From Jeff's reaction, it's clear that's not the answer he was expecting.

"Do you know why they tell people recovering from addiction not to make any major life decisions for 12 months after recovery?"

Jeff shakes his head.

"It's because the brain needs to regain its chemical balance and, until it does, judgement can be seriously impaired during this process. Behaviour can be manic and outlandish ideas can seem completely rational."

Jeff nods as she goes but still isn't sure what this has to do with him.

"The same thing happens when we're grieving. So as much as I want this to be real, I am petrified this is just grief brain acting out. And two months from now, you're going to look at me and no longer see this amazing woman you're completely in love with. You'll just see me as some chick you're banging."

Jeff takes her by both hands and steps just a little closer.

"I'll want you to be the only chick I'm banging two months from now, two years from now, two lifetimes from now."

Tears start to stream down Ashley's face. Jeff is convinced he's brought on tears of joy. He's not exactly on the mark.

"You want to know what's sad and pathetic? THAT is the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me," Ashley says.

"Ashley, who knows what will happen in the future? I can't guarantee a perfect ending. Nobody can. What I do know is six months ago, I would not have been able to be standing here, looking you in the eyes and telling you that I love you. I'm only here, we're only here, because of you. Because you reached out and helped a broken man become whole again. But I won't be completely whole if you're not with me. So let's do that thing we're both afraid to do...together."

She searches for the appropriate response but can't find the words. Instead she breaks out into a smile that tells Jeff all he needs to know. They look deep into each other's eyes then simultaneously lean in for the kiss of a lifetime.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After spending most of the remaining daylight hours back at Ashely's place for what we'll politely call "grown-up alone time," they figured they should meet up with Niko and Louie to break the news.

Jeff arrives at the table with a round of drinks for the gang minus Louie who is nowhere to be found. He sits down beside Ashley and puts his arm around the back of her chair. They smile at each other and then steal a quick kiss.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Niko says. "I'm as happy about this as anyone but you gotta let me ease into it. It is still a little weird."

"Good weird, though?" Jeff asks.

"Very good weird," Ashley says which then leads to another kiss.

"Speaking of weird, where's Lou?" Niko asks.

"Getting his heart ripped out," Louie says arriving on the scene. He sits down and grabs Niko's beer and starts drinking it. "I'm telling you I am through with love. It's a mirage, it doesn't exist and I want nothing to do with it."

He looks up and sees Jeff and Ashley canoodling.

"Oh, come on! Seriously!"

"What happened with Caitlyn?" Ashley asks.

"Everything was great until big mouth here had to make his big speech," he says gesturing to Jeff.

---------------------------------------------------------

Louie picks up the story right at the point when Jeff tells Ellen that it's over. Caitlyn and Louie are seated in the pews just behind Ellen, holding hands. After Jeff blows by them, dumping Ellen in the process, Caitlyn releases Louie's hand like she just found out it's radioactive.

"Oh, thank God!" she says. "Louie, we can't see each other anymore."

"Why not?"

"I'd rather not say."

"I believe I'm owed an explanation."

"Okay, well...have you ever heard of the six-month backslide?"

"I am familiar with it."

"Well, the rest of Ellen's friends saw that she and Jeff were falling into it so we came up with a plan to try to break them up."

"Okaaaaaay," Louie says tentatively.

"The plan was that if Ellen thought staying with Jeff would mean spending more time with you, she might break it off. No offense."

"Why do people keep saying that!!!!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wait, wait, wait," Niko blurts out, barely able to contain his glee. "While you bailed on our six-month backslide plan to pursue Caitlyn..."

"I was the key part of hers...and yes, I get that it's ironic."

Niko is simply beaming now. "I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now."

Jeff looks at Ashley. "Me too!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeff is seated in front of his computer wrapping up another of his New Twenty vlog posts.

So I know what you're thinking. Now that Ashley and I are a couple, is this the end of The New Twenty?

Ashley comes into the room and appears on screen holding up a flowery hand towel. "Jeff, you used the good towels again."

"Well, why do you put decorative towels in the bathroom in the first place? I wash my hands, I see a towel, I use it."

"Because it makes your disgusting boys bathroom just that much prettier."

"You want to pretty up the place? Put flowers in there. That way I won't be tempted to dry my hands on them."

Ashley leans in close and wraps her arms around him from behind. She gives him a kiss on the cheek. "If only I could believe that were true."

Jeff can't fight off a smile as she leaves the room.

"So are there some adjustments to make and questions still to be answered? Absolutely. But those questions can only be answered in time. So all I can tell you is..."

Ashley pops her head back in the room. "Are you almost ready to get going? The bold new adventures don't stop now that you have a girlfriend."

"Stay tuned."