Feelings To Be Forgotten
Iseul stared ahead as Eunha pulled Jeaki closer to her, like she hadn't had him all night long. Eunha had been hogging him tonight for hours on end and, honestly, Iseul was getting sick of it.
It wasn't like Iseul was as attached to Jeaki as the white haired temptress seemed to be but it still made him pout in slight jealousy. Before you say anything, he was not drunk, mind you. He just had three drinks... Maybe... He wasn't sure since counting wasn't really something he did when at a party. Besides, this was a time when you weren't supposed to worry about anything, right? Unfortunately, Eunha was something he was worrying about.
Don't get him wrong, he loved Eunha to death! She was perfect in almost every way but the fact that she was loving up on Jeaki made him roll his eyes. He figured out fairly quickly that Jeaki and Eunha had this weird habit of kissing one another even if Eunha didnt even like guys!
Iseul could only imagine the past tabloids that he didn't take the time to read... He regretted not reading them in the past only slightly.
The moment that Eunha decided to kiss Jeaki's jawline, however, was the moment he nearly hissed at her. She needs to go away for only a couple minutes, that's all he'll ask for.
Iseul got up, setting his drink on the table to make his way over to Jeaki and Eunha. He linked his arm with Jeaki's free one and pulled slightly, nearly dragging him from his seat. This made Eunha pull away almost immediately and gave Iseul the satisfaction he needed to smile. Eunha gave a smile of her own to counteract his previous satisfaction.
"Iseul? Hey, what's wrong? Do you need me for something?" Despite hating Iseul to no end, Jeaki was still a kind soul. He would still give the clothes off his back for Iseul if he needed it and it made Iseul almost sick. The fact that Jeaki would still be willing to help him after all that he did was almost as torturous as Jeaki hating him.
Yes. I need attention.
That's what Iseul wanted to say. He wanted to say that he needed Jeaki to pay more attention to him than to her. He wanted Jeaki to love him the same way he loved Eunha but that could never be achieved. Eunha had years of friendship with Jeaki, ultimately yet accidentally, making Jeaki love her more than he loved himself.
"Nothing's wrong, Jeaki," Iseul lied. "Your sister wants you to drive me home with you. I've had too much to drink, apparently," He added on, jumping at the chance to see where Jeaki lives. It's always been easy to see where everyone else lived (minus a certain paranoid hacker).
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Iseul looked around, noticing the decorations and interior. It all looked so nice but expensive. It looked like something he could never afford in a million years. Damn... Now he believed everyone when they said Areum was a little spoiled. He could tell that, on top of her parents, Jeaki would probably buy her things as well.
Jeaki came back fairly quickly, giving him some sort of medicine and water. "I don't want you to start puking on anything," Jeaki said, making sure that Iseul took whatever it was before sitting on the couch with him. "Do you want to go home?" Jeaki asked.
"No," Iseul said without thinking. He didn't know what the sleeping situation would be but he supposed that Jeaki would figure something out. He was actually very smart for someone who's oblivious to all things romantic. "You know, I hated how Eunha kissed you," He blurted out, making Iseul think that maybe he was drunk.
"How? That's kind of normal. Her favorite place to kiss me is actually -"
"Shut up for once," Iseul muttered, glaring at him. Jeaki didn't know when to stop speaking sometimes. "You never shut up about her. Once you get going, there's no stopping when it comes to Eunha,"
"I'm sorry, she's just," Jeaki didn't finish his sentence. He shut up before he went on again.
"Oh my god, don't apologize,"
"Why do you care so much?"
"Oh, I don't know! Say that there's a possibility I may be a little gay for you? How about that?" No! What are you doing?! Iseul automatically scolded himself as he watched Jeaki freeze where he was. He didn't want to put Jeaki in the spotlight like that, hell, he didn't want to say anything to tip off his feelings at all.
"...Um..." Jeaki couldn't say anything. Honestly, Iseul knew he couldn't return his feelings. He didn't like Iseul, at least in that way. Iseul could tell that Jeaki cared about him and that Jeaki would do pretty much anything, like he would for all his friends, but he didn't like him. "I'm sorry that I made you develop a crush on me. I'm also sorry that I don't really return them -"
"Fuck you! Stop apologizing!" Iseul said, slightly annoyed that Jeaki doesn't stop apologizing for anything, even if it's not his fault in the slightest. The boy always finds a way to make everything into his fault. Probably just to find someone to blame other than the people around him.
The thing that Iseul didn't expect was for Jeaki to start laughing. "Leave it to you to curse me after a confession," This made Iseul start laughing too. After a while, Jeaki stopped laughing and gave a soft smile to Iseul. "I accept your feelings but I cannot give you my own in return. You're a treasured friend and I apologize I cannot think of you as more. Thank you for sharing a personal emotion with me, Iseul," Somehow, Iseul couldn't feel disappointed.
Iseul knew that Jeaki wasn't exactly the straightest boy you'd encounter but he also knew that Jeaki wasn't one for romantic relationships. Jeaki loved a person for who they are and what they are on the inside. He was a very picky person with this and it was obvious Iseul was not going to satisfy Jeaki's taste. Besides, Jeaki treasured friendships more than romantic relationships. Sure, he can want to be in one, having proved this with having a few crushes here and there but he always went with friends more than a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Iseul just smiled at him. Even if he was rejected and even if he still had that crush on him, he knew that it was better to be told now than to have his feelings protected. Fortunately, after this confession, they became easy and relaxed again. They laughed and played around and it just slipped back into the comfortable rhythm they had.
No... He couldn't feel disappointment and nor could he feel regret. Neither of those emotions seemed to touch him even if that's what most feel when thier confession was just put aside like a used tissue to be disposed of in the near future. In fact, Iseul actually felt lighter, if only a little bit.
A/N: Warning! Just a fanfiction! Requested by Shipper6145. You all know that you guys can request things too, right? Anyways, just fanfic and nothing canon. For now. I can't tell the future.
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