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12. The Disbelief

... He couldn't have been serious. Perhaps Simon was still in stasis. He must've made it up as a way to comfort himself somehow.
No, you don't.

"Markus..." He started, and the bustling anxiety he was trying to conceal must've been obvious to the other android, because he raised his hands in front of each other and spoke softly, as if he were trying not to scare away a deer in the forest. (It was an accurate comparison: Simon, too, was standing there motionlessly, eyes slightly widened but not obviously so, waiting for what was going to happen to see whether he should flee-)

"You don't have to say anything. It's okay. I have no expectations, really. Won't force you to anything really. All I wanted to do, I just wanted you to know." He spoke so softly, gaze never leaving Simon's, and Simon wanted to feel lost and uncertain, but, oh, whether rA9 was just an idea or really some entity that would watch over their kind; it had no business making Markus this beautiful, this gentle and trustworthy at the same time, because Simon couldn't handle it. He was an outdated domestic, for heaven's sake, he was not made to deal with things like that.
What a pity it was that he actually craved them.

"You don't... You shouldn't..." Did he really love him? Or was it just some odd mixture of pity and guilt? Could he even accuse Markus of something as thoughtless and irresponsible as this? Wouldn't that be cruel? 

"You don't have to say anything." Markus repeated, and a small, thoughtful and slightly sad smile curled the corner of his lips. "Nothing has to change, really. It was just something I wanted you to be aware of. I was getting tired of pretending. Hard to keep track of everything you can't say out loud... It's freeing, in a way. Saying this. But it carries no responsibilities. We all know you've had quite enough of them."

It really wasn't the case. Simon couldn't care less about how much he had to do or how many tasks there were to take care of. It was in his original programming, and unlike most, he had been accustomed to cooperate with it instead of shutting it off completely.

"Markus." He started again, and he stupidly felt like it was the only word he was capable of uttering.

"I don't deserve this, and you deserve better than me."

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