On Monday morning I'm weirdly freaked out. Like, I know Phil and I held hands on Saturday night (and my brains still fucked up about it two days later), and we texted a bit yesterday, but this morning is going to be the first time we've actually talked in person since then.

My hands are shaking as I run my flatiron through my hair. My fingers tap out rhythms along with the music playing through my earbuds on my walk to the bus stop. It has a slightly calming effect, but my heart still feels like it's going and 200 beats per minute.

As I board the bus, I see that Pj and Chris are sharing a seat, making it so that Phil and I have to sit next to each other.

"You look pale," Chris says.
"Are you okay?" Pj asks.

"Fine," I manage, and try to regulate my breathing so I don't sound so strangled.

Phil gets on at the next stop and by this time, I'm a complete mess on the inside. He greets the three of us, and sits down next to me. "Hey," he says quietly, with a small smile.

"Hi," I answer. My hand rests on the seat between us, so that if he wanted to he could easily hold it, but the choice is his. After a few minutes, I rest both my hands on my lap, as he's obviously not taking either of them.

I become aware of Chris and Pj whispering from the seat in front of us. I motion for Phil to stay quiet and listen.

"...believe it? you'd.....learned by now"

"still.....only a matter of time. did you see....movie?"

"....halloween party? yeah they were adorable."

Phil's eyes widen and we look at each other, alarmed. Had someone seen us during the movie at Jamie's? I hadn't thought anyone was paying attention.

"What's this hot gossip?" I ask as Phil and I peer over the edge of the seat.

"Ooh," Chris says. "Everyone's favourite on-again-off-again couple seems to be on again!"

"What?" Phil seems confused.

"Ja—" Chris starts, but Pj cuts him off. "Not yours to tell, Christopher."

"You're no fun, Peej. No fun at all." Chris sulks until the bus pulls into rhe school parking lot.

"Listen," I tell Phil. "Can you ditch gym? I need to talk to talk to you."

His eyebrows knit together slightly. "Um, yeah, sure.  Is everything okay?"

"Fine."

"Okay. Um, how do I get out of PE?"

"Oh, it's totally easy. Just meet me before class and we can make up an excuse for Coach."

Two class periods later, and my nerves are seriously fraying at the ends. I pace slightly at the door to the gym.

"Hey," Phil says from behind me. "Sorry to keep you waiting. I had to grab my kit from my locker."

"Oh, you probably won't need that. Just put it in the locker room or something."

"Okay. So how are we getting out of class?"

"Just fake a limp and follow my lead."

"What are you going to do?"

"Oh, I came prepared," I say, pulling an ACE bandage out of my bag and wrapping it loosely around one of my wrists.

I walk into the gym, and Phil follows, limping.

"Coach? Phil and I are injured so we can't play today. Could we study instead?" I ask, raising my voice to make sure the old fossil hears me.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." He waves a hand in our direction and barely looks up from his crossword puzzle.

"Can we study in the library?"

"Hmm? Sure."

"Thank you, Coach!"

He grumbles in response and Phil and I make our way to the library.

My heart is beating in my chest so fast I feel like it's going to beat through my skin. My four fingers tap against my thumb, matching its rhythm.

We settle at a table near the back of the library. I open my backpack and take out my math homework, stalling. Phil grabs some paper and a pen from his bag and then looks at me.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"I,, er, um, well I,,,I just—who do you think Chris and Pj were talking about this morning?"

"I think I might know, but I'm not positive," he laughs. "At first I thought they were talking about us. But I didn't think anyone saw me hold your hand!"

"Oh, thank god." I murmur under my breath, letting out a sigh of relief.

"What?"

"Well," I blush. "I'm really glad you said that because I was almost wondering if that even happened or I just dreamed it or something."

"No, it happened." He says. "Unless we both dreamed it."

"I'm glad it happened." Why am I saying this? "I...kind of...liked it."

"Me too. " Phil glances at me then takes my hand, lacing our fingers together.

I smile, looking at our hands and then back to Phil. "Hi."

He grins back at me. "Hi."

We don't talk to much after that. We just quietly work on our homework, hands linked together until the end of class.

oh my god u guys
dear dan, he's a lucky guy
I'm like, gonna cry
I got tears coming out of my eyes

oh my god, oh my god, you guys
Looks like dan and Phil r gonna win the prize
If there ever was a perfect couple
This one qualifies, oh my god, you guys

Dan and Phil were meant to be
There just like that couple from Titanic
Only no one dies,
oh my god you guys

I'm sorry a bunch of my friends were in a production of legally blonde and I saw it like twice and now it's all I can thing about and I'm so tired wtf