His slender finger moves to the light switch against the wall, turning on the lights of the familiar house he use to call home. Something about the scent it gave or the rush of memories that played in Taehyung's made him feel a sense of nostalgia.

It's been a while for sure.

Now isn't the time to relinquish on the memories of the past.

He has a job to do.

So Taehyung puts down his duffel bag by the door and checks around the area of the house for the usual procedure; Checks the cabinets, the three bedrooms, two bathrooms and the basement just to make sure if everything is clear.

So far nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary.

It's..... Exactly how he remembered it.

The thought of that sent a slight tug to his heart as he trudges to the couch, checking his watch for the time.

Exactly 5 minutes later, just as planned, the house phone beside him rings on the small table. It feels like deja vu all over again as he picks it up and brings it to his ear.

"201582521147," He says instantly through the mic, his eyes focusing on the wall with a deadpanned expression.

Clicking chatters his ear in the background, following by a robotic voice, "Voice of whispers in the darkness of the night...."

"To be guided to the light of the mid day," Taehyung finishes it, knowing this familiar saying by heart with his fluent English, "Agent Kim Minho."

More clicking is heard in the other line, followed by another beeping, "Destination?"

"Subject 201582521147. Seoul, South Korea. 152 days, protection from the Federal Agency of California," His tone fights to not strains itself as he says this, keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

He needs to keep it together.

A final beeping echoes the other line followed by a familiar ringing.

Finally.

"Hello Mr. Kim Taehyung," A familiar feminine voice spoke from the other side. He feels like he hasn't heard that voice in years, when in reality it's only been months.

Taehyung strains a smile, "Good evening Delilha."

"How was your flight?"

"Long but bearable," He answers tiredly and leans back against the couch, "So.... My father's funeral is tomorrow, correct?"

A huming echoes in the background, "Correct. I will send you the address and time through the computer system in your father's desk top."

Taehyung smiles softly and slowly nods, despite the fact that the familiar brunette can't see him, "Thank you."

"Anything else that you need sir?"

Taehyung blinks for a moment and licks his lips, "Give me 5 minutes on this telephone. I need to make a call."

Song Recommendation: Someone You Loved- Lewis Capaldi (Or any upsetting song you'd like, but around the same tempo as this one :))

Jungkook's eyes hovers over the computers as Namjoon and Hoseok tried everything they possibly can to hack into the security system. This is definitely something far too complex that they have ever came across off, but this is definitely something familiar. Who knows how long have they been like this now, but as every minute ticks, so does Jungkook's anxiety.

"Jungkook, it's nearly impossible, you have to-"

"No!" He snaps insantly, leaning back from the piercing screen full of cryptic numbers swirling around, "You need to find a way to delete it."

"He will trace it back to me! He'll know something is up!"

Jungkook grips his hair, "For fucks sakes he trained you guys to see his every move he can hack into! He should have taught you how to cover tracks!" He scowls and then takes the keyboard and began to type fibrously on it. With observant eyes he scanned the screen and then slides the keyboard to Hoseok, "Transfer the files, not delete them, and then cover your tracks."

Hoseok blinks at him, clearly not thinking about that idea in the first place, before typing on the computer to get through the blockage.

Jungkook won't make the same mistake again. He will wipe out even the back ups as well just to make sure there's no trace of that horrid information.

Taehyung can't know.

Ever.

In the midst of his hysteria, Jungkook's phone suddenly rings.

The ravenette takes out his phone from his pocket angrily and furrows his eyebrows to the unknown number. For a moment he was going to hang up and focus on what really matters now, but then he realized it's not a number from here.

It's from America.

Who the fuck will call him from America?

Jungkook answers regardless with an eye roll, "Whoever the fuck you are better delete my digital cellular identification from your hippocampus and prefrontal cortex before I rip it out myself-"

"Why so aggressive all the time? Damn, I only breathed," A familiar voice spoke languidly, making Jungkook instantly stop in the midst of his ranting, making his cheeks instantly start to burn up, "It's really cute how you get all nerdy when you're so angry."

Taehyung.....

Taehyung called him...

Didn't he-

He's in America....

Jungkook suddenly smirks broadly to the thought, feeling his hint of annoyance start to bubble up to aggravation.

"Well look who it is," Jungkook ventures sarcastically, making Namjoon avert his attention to his leader with a raised eyebrow, "The man that poisoned one of my main five, you little bitch," Jungkook continues condescendingly, not fighting the scowl from his lips.

A soft giggle echoes the other line, "He should be alive, I only gave him a mild stomach ache and fucked over with his liver for the next twenty four hours."

"Mild? He's still in the hospital!"

"Whoops, maybe my hand slightly slipped with the vile."

"You think!" Jungkook gruffles, only annoying himself even more from the funny feeling that's fluttering his chest as he hears Taehyung's genuine laugh from the other line, but that all faded to relief when Hoseok sends him a thumb up to the wall being broken.

He's in.

Now in a much more calmer state of mind, Jungkook tries to ease up his aggravation, even though he still feels annoyed, "Shouldn't you be sleeping? Isn't it late over there?"

"Your time is more ahead Jungkookie. It's 7 in the evening here," Taehyung murmurs deadpanned but Jungkook can hear the faint smile behind his voice. Jungkook glances at his watch to see it's 10 in the morning.

Hm, he's sure not lying.

For a moment Jungkook blocked out the overall task he has to face with Hoseok and Namjoon and just left the room to sit on the couch in the living room, giving their conversation a bit more privacy, "Why did you call me Taehyung? Just in need to torment me even more?"

For a moment the other didn't say anything at all. Jungkook just began to think he hanged up until he hears a deep exhale, "It's just...... I'm alone.... I feel lonely...... And I like talking to you."

Seriously?

Is this a trick??

Hm, but he doesn't.... Sound okay.

The words sends a slight tug to Jungkook's chest, the delicate way he worded it only making Jungkook feel weak to his knees. So he takes his laptop from the coffee table and opens it up, "Really? So you just called me so I can entertain you with my own personal crisis? Like.... How you poisoned one of my boys?"

"Maybe a little," Taehyung snorts quietly, making Jungkook twitch a grin in return as he looks over the options from behind the laptop screen, "Tomorrow is my father's funeral.... I'm not sure if I'm ready to receive people's pity, you know? Guess I needed a prep talk."

Right.... The funeral.

Jungkook bites his bottom lip for a moment and hums comfortingly, "I understand...... I'm sorry you're going through this Tae."

And he did mean it.

He hates seeing how much this is effecting Taehyung, even though he's not at all fazed by the fact he killed the man in the first place.

He was warned, and he didn't listen.

Taehyung didn't say anything at all, only remains quiet at first but then clears his throat, "You know I'm still coming after you, right?"

Jungkook doesn't know why he smiled to that.

"If you want to be with me so badly, you don't have to use that as an excuse babe," Jungkook scoffs playfully, earning a shocking gasp in return.

"You're such a h-heartless bitch," Taehyung sputters, only widening Jungkook's smile, "Don't test me, I can create a scarf out of your intestines."

The leader couldn't help but let bundle of amusement only skyrocket, a sense of giddiness filling his insides, "Can you create jewelry out of it instead? Trust me, you're going to be glowing with me on you, I'm that irresistible," Jungkook snickers with a broad smile while confirming the information on the arrangements and closes the laptop while rising to his feet to stand up.

He's been sitting for too long.

"Your irresistible ass is definitely going to be glowing after a good fucking spanking from me if you use that cocky attitude one more time," Taehyung mutters lowly, making Jungkook bark out a laugh.

A genuine laugh, that scrunched up his nose and twinkled his eyes under the light the ceiling lamp.

It feels..... Nice.

To laugh.

It's been a long time.

"You know," Taehyung says, his voice slightly dropping to a more serious tone, "I still don't forgive you for what you did to my dad."

Jungkook isn't even surprised or hurt by that.

He doesn't want Taehyung to ever forgive him.

If anything, he wants Taehyung to still hate him.

"I know, and you shouldn't forgive me," Jungkook agrees subtly, "I'm not a good person Taehyung."

"Don't think that way either, you're not entirely bad," Taehyung argues, making Jungkook's mind slightly malfunction for a minute.

If Taehyung hates him so bad as he continues to say on a daily basis, why would he say something like this now?

Or in general?

"It all depends on perspective Tae," Jungkook sighs while going to the computer room with Hoseok and Namjoon, seeing them much more relaxed than how they were a few moments ago, "Somethings that I do you may see it as justifiable, while others see it as cruel. At the end of the day, I'm the only person that knows my hidden intentions behind everything I do. There's not one person that stands in my way that I didn't kill or torture if they dare disrespected my gang or were someway involved with the officials. To many it's a horrible sin, but to others it shows strength. I sent someone to kill your father because he was a Federal Agent. For you; I took away the anchor of your life. Your father. Your family. To Oasis; I saved them from rotting away in jail cells or rehab. Saved them from their freedoms being revoked by their sins. Especially the younger ones here. That's why I'm telling you, you shouldn't forgive me Tae because I will only continue doing horrible things for mine, yours and Oasis's safety. Like I said since the beginning, you're mine, but I'm not going to force you to be with me, but I will look after your safety because that means everything to me. It's..... It's something Yeosang would want too, especially since he still had the heart to tell us to not kill you when you pierced a knife through gut."

Jungkook was far too into what he was saying that he didn't notice how Hoseok and Namjoon both stopped what they were doing to just stare at him, a certain gleam of respect spreading their expression mixed with admiration. Right before their eyes, they see their leader growing up to become this power being he is now. A man that faced his demon of Yeosang's death, and now looks forward to providing for what he has now.

To the people that aren't his blood, but would lay down their lives for him.

And even if Taehyung has turned insane from his grief, they would regardless lay down their lives for him as well.

As twisted as it is and despite the pain he has caused onto them, they know he's going through a major swirl of shock, pain and grief. He's not the Taehyung they once knew, but that doesn't mean he's gone forever.

Well, at least that's what Namjoon believes and a vast majority of the gang members down stairs as well.

Even though many are still angry for his reckless behavior.

"I know," Taehyung mumbles lowly, taking in Jungkook's words steadily, "And that's why I'm going to destroy you because in my perspective, you didn't care about how I felt and we were in a relationship together. A relationship looks after each other and look after one another."

Relationship, right.

A wordless and unofficial relationship.

Where he could've still fucked with whoever he wanted.

Jungkook suddenly chuckles a broken laugh, "Yeah we were in a relationship, right? I did everything I'm doing now so you wouldn't hate him Taehyung! To look after you! Now tell me, would someone that cares about you try to make you go against your only fam-" Jungkook cuts himself off instantly, gripping angrily to his long hair with his eyes now glossy with tears.

He can't slip.

Taehyung has to hate him.

"Wait what? Hate who? Jungkook-"

"No, I got ahead of myself, I'm sorry," Jungkook whispers, feeling his heart thrust hard against his chest to the point he thought he couldn't breath anymore, "Fine, if you want me to take all the blame for everything that happened between us, if that makes you happy, if that gives you that sense of peace, I'll take it. If this will end your suffering then I don't care, I will gladly carry your burdens as long as you're not struggling anymore. Fine, I never cared about you. I didn't bother asking you about your father since I lost trust in you and I only cared about my gang. I..... I never loved you enough. Someone who loves someone else wouldn't hurt them like this. You're right, you're completely right. Is this what you wanted to hear? Huh? I'm sorry! I, Jeon Jungkook, apologize from the deepest part of my heart for causing you so much pain Taehyung, I'm sorry I fucked up with your life. I-I'm sorry!"

By now Jungkook feels like he's crumbling down on the inside. It feels like he's being phsycially stabbed multiple times and no matter how bad he tried to stop that feeling or to push it away, it just digs deeper in his heart. His body weakens and he slides down against the wall, a hand clutching hard to his chest from the clogged pain in his throat as he says those words.

Why does it hurt?

How does it stop?

Make it stop please.

Hoseok, upon seeing the younger's sudden state, steps off his chair and crouches down to him, wrapping his thin arms around the younger's shaking shoulders. Jungkook didn't stop him, instead he leans his head against Hoseok's shoulder with closed eyes, trying hard to not lose control through the phone of his rising panic attack.

Taehyung has to hate him.

"Jungkook, stop saying those things," Taehyung whimpers from the other line, making Jungkook swallow down a whimper himself, "I don't want you to apologize for what you did. I'm just mad because it's me. It's my father. Of course I will be upset! You don't have to carry my weight on your shoulders. You did what was right as a gang leader, and if it wasn't my father, I would tell you I'm proud of you. That you did the right thing in looking after your family. Please..... Just don't say that again, you can't let me have this control over you like this. You have to be strong Jungkook, please just fight back! Stop letting me win!"

But I love you.....

I can't hurt you if I want what's best for you...

Jungkook only shakes his head numbly and buries his face deeper against the nape of Hoseok's neck, who only rubs his back gently, "Promise me you will continue to hate me Taehyung. Promise me that all this anger, this rage, is only going to be directed to me. Okay?"

There was a slightly pause for a moment and Jungkook began to grow hysterical but then he hears his honey voice, say without a lace of emotion in his voice, "I hate you Jungkook, and I promise I will only continue to hate you alone."

And that was enough to make Jungkook relax and let out a deep breath of relief.

Despite his heart bursting in utter pain.

"I hate you too Taehyung," Jungkook whispers lowly under his breath, his heart betraying him through his words.

The moment the call ended, Jungkook throws the phone to the floor and curls himself in Hoseok's arms, who only engulfs him in a tighter hug as the younger cries his heart out against his chest. Cries out the pain of having the love of his life be like this with him. Cries for being so weak. Cries for the loss of his son. Cries for losing his mind. For not being a good enough person for Taehyung.

For not protecting his family.

Not protecting his parents.

His siblings.

His ten year old self.

His teenager beating heart.

His life.

For being a complete fuck up in life.

No matter what he does to protect everyone, it always ends up fucked up somehow!

All this pain has been building up for a while now and he can't help it anymore. He finally broke it out. Namjoon frowns down at the younger and stands up to approach the pair and squats down, placing a comforting hand to Jungkook's shoulder.

"He doesn't love me hyungs," Jungkook sobs uncontrollably, by now hiccuping through the pain, "I got him like this! I pressed him for revenge and now he hates me! I made him promise to hate me! Fuck I'm so weak, I let my guard down for him...... And I got use to being loved by him....He was my escape from all the stress, made me feel numb to pain. Now, he won't stop until he hurts me like I hurt him, and I FUCKING DESERVE IT! He made me feel so special, and now I lost him," Jungkook continues to cry, his eyes glittering in tears with his lips wobbling with the continuous tears. Hoseok frowns deeply to this, fighting back his own tears as he looks down at the younger man

For a split moment he looked like that little boy that use to be scared of being in a relationship with anyone. The first time he had his first heartbreak, from this bitchy girl during high school, he refused to give his affection to anyone. He was completely broken. It became engraved in his head that he didn't deserve love. 

Especially after the piled-up trauma he already had with people disappearing his life.

Then he grew an intense love for an undercover cop, who he didn't know he was a cop during that time and ended up betraying him and putting him behind bars.

Jungkook didn't want to give another chance to anyone after that, only focusing his attention on his gang and that's it.

His only family.

And being a heartless prick to make sure that doesn't change.

Taehyung comes along and it enlightened some hope inside Jungkook. Well to everyone. It gave everyone that hope that Jungkook finally found someone that he could trust and that would love him.

Just as they wished for the young leader who's so hard on himself all the time.

Now he has to push him away because he loves him that much. He prefers being in the receiving end of that hate than letting it be targeted to someone who Taehyung admired with all his heart.

He can't do that to him.

Jungkook would rather suffer every day of his life from his wrath than have Taehyung's image of his father change in such a negative way, the only person who was constant in his life.

His father.

His hero.

It just.... Hurts so much.

This is for protecting him and everyone.

Even if Jungkook is left burning in the flames because of it.

"You know he's going to find out someday, right?" Namjoon says lowly, wiping a tear away from Jungkook's milky skin.

Jungkook is calmed down now, only focusing his eyes on the computer screens and he slowly shakes his head, "His life is shit already, this will destroy him Joon; His trust and... Himself," He murmurs and departs from Hoseok's arms, wiping his eyes as he slowly stands up to his feet, "He's suffered enough, he definitely won't take this well."

Hoseok frowns deeply to this and rubs Jungkook's tattooed arm, "You can't always protect him Jungkook," He says dismayed, following after Jungkook's gaze to the computer screen as well to the successful downloaded file.

Jungkook sniffs and rises to his feet, blinking back the urge to cry again once he remembered Yeosang's teary eyes as he took his last inhale of life.

He couldn't protect Yeosang, his death members, but he won't let Taehyung down.

He won't let down who he still has now.

"I can always try."

______________________________

A/N:
This chapter made me feel so emotional. Just writing how Jungkook broke down like that really hit me hard, especially since I don't really like demonstrating Jungkook's character as too soft.

Well, everyone has a breaking point too.

It felt really..... Real.

Ahhh lovelies thank you so much for reading this book. I will have another update up soon, so be ready!!!

I PURPLE YOU <333