A/N:

Heh... so sob story yesterday about poor, unfortunate me and now today I managed to write the last scene and then half-ass edit... and then post it. *sigh* Well, this is probably not my best chapter, like I said in yesterdays post I am not fully sold on my ending yet but I know what the next big plot point will be so this is supposed to be one of those chapters to aim the characters in that direction.

About my update yesterday; I wasn't fishing for compliments, I was just low, really low and feeling lonely and for some reason, posting that made me feel a little better.

For the ones who commented yesterday, thank you form the bottom of my heart. Honestly, you have no idea how much your words helped to pull me out of that low 💜

≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡

Ivar's POV

My rage was already boiling over and it was barely mid morning. Rollo had left early in the morning, before the sun rose over the fjord. When I woke up to see all of his men and ships gone, I was confused but now I knew exactly why he did this.

Rollo had told me last night of where he found Lagertha. She and the others were camped out in one of her and Ragnar's old hunting cabins. I had made the arrangements to go there early this morning to capture that rat of a woman. But to my surprise, the cabin was abandoned. The only thing they left was smoldering coals in the fire pit, a few animals in a small pen and to my disbelief, my brother's wife, Margrethe. It seems that my Uncle has now been added to the growing list of people who I can no longer trust.

My body was aching from being jostled around in my chariot which only added to my poor mood. My wheels crashed over a patch of rocks making the cart rock back and forth violently. Margrethe, who was huddled against the wall of the chariot in the fetal position, whimpered while she was being tossed to and fro.

After Margrethe had spread that rumor about me so long ago, I had every intention of letting her rot in that pig pen she was tied up in but something in me told me to take her with us back home. However, the longer I was stuck in my chariot with her, the more I realized that she has gone mad. She was mumbling incoherently the entire time and randomly looking around as if some invisible being was taunting her.

When we finally rode through the gates of Kattegat, I made my way to the open space in front of the great hall and pulled the reins of my horse back to make the animal stop. As soon as she did, I started to fuss with the straps around my waist and legs. I had to get out of this contraption before I lost my mind.

"So you didn't find them?" Harold's voice broke me from my thoughts.

For a moment I had forgotten about my Uncle smuggling Lagertha out of Norway but Harold's question brought back all of the rage I had felt earlier. "No. They were gone. Except this one." I snapped.

I jabbed my finger in Margrethe's direction. Harold came around the side of the chariot and looked down at the girl who was huddled up and trying to stay as far away from me as the small space would allow. "They left her behind." I smiled sarcastically down at her before I pat the top of her head harshly making her flinch.

"Why is she bound?" Harald asks.

"Because she is mad." I answered, leaning over to Harold and raising my brows in a dramatic manner. "Hvitserk!" I knew my brother would want to see this.

Hvitserk jogged over from the fruit stand he was browsing. As soon as he came up to us his eyes landing on the girl cowering at my still aching legs. "You know her, don't you?" I already knew he did. She was the one who chose Ubbe over him.

With his eyes still on Margrethe, Hvitserk smiled. "Of course, I remember." He leaned over the side of my chariot, reaching out with a gentle hand to move her hair out of her face and cup her cheek.

"Hey, Margrethe." He cooed. She shudders as soon as he touches her, a whimper was her only response.

While they had their tender moment, I unlatched the buckles and worked to swing my leg over the seat. I used my arms to lower myself out of the chariot and shakily tried to keep my balance without my crutch by resting my back against the cart. One of the serfs from the main hall came running to my side, handing me the crutch. I snatched it from him and positioned it on my arm, trying to keep the pain from being visible on my face. I had to make everyone think that my legs were no longer a concern.

Hvitserk moved in close to Margrethe and began to untie the thick rope around her wrists. "Hey, it's okay... it's okay, I won't hurt you." He cooed softly.

I couldn't help but gag while I watched my brother stupidly fawn over her. Untying a former slave girl who clearly has gone mad just so he could have someone to warm his bed. "What are you doing, brother? Some evil spirit has possessed her."

Hvitserk snaked his arms around her and pulled her from the chariot, all the while not looking once at me. Margrethe continued to whimper softly as she rested limply in Hvitserk's arms.

"She will kill you!" I called out as I watched my brother start to walk away.

"I'll take my chances." Hvitserk retorted.

"Well maybe you've gone crazy too!" I yelled.

I could see Harald and the rest of the men who watched the scene take place slowly turn back to look at me. The expressions on their faces said it all. They still looked at me as the spoiled little boy who always fought for attention. Except now they know of my lust for blood and power. How I will stop at nothing, even if it means going to war with my own brothers to obtain it. This left the people scared and tip toeing around Kattegat to not garner my attention.

I huffed angrily. My day was not going as planned. First with Lagertha and now with Hvitserk obsessing over Margrethe. Without thinking, I slammed my fist into the side my chariot, punching a hole through the wood. I could hear a few people who were standing close gasp at my outburst. Great. More people judging me. I rolled my eyes and turned to look out into the crowd of now bustling people. My eyes instantly landed on familiar grey blue ones.

Briet.

My heart dropped. She was looking at me with those big, scared eyes. I hated when she looked at me like that. The previous night at dinner we had come to the agreement that the two of us would try and start over. Just seeing the apprehensive expression on her face didn't bode well for our fresh start. I closed my eyes and sighed before I made my way over to her.

Briet's POV

"Where are you off to?" He asks, looking around at the passersby.

"I was on my way to the stables. Your Uncle had found my horse and brought her back to me." Ivar rolls his eyes and huffs. His anger visibly starting to rise again.

"My Uncle seems to be gifting things to everyone today..."

I furrowed my brow. "What?"

Ivar ran his hand over his braided hair, finally looking at me. "Rollo left before dawn because he smuggled Lagertha and the others with him. No wonder he brought your horse back to you. I'm sure it was with Lagertha and I'm sure that was some way to let you know that she is alive and to convince you to leave with them."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his suspicions, even if they were spot on. The truth is, though Lagertha was a sort of mother figure to me, I still never felt any true loyalty to her. Same with how I never felt loyalty towards Aslaug. My whole life I felt like an outcast... except for when I was with Ivar. Particularly when we were in England, when we were at our happiest. I felt like I belonged with him.

"I am riding to my spot in the woods. I wanted to relax, get my mind centered again. Would you care to join me, Ivar?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

Ivar sucked his teeth looking out in the direction of the small waterfall. "I don't think my chariot would be able to make it through, the woods are a bit thick."

I bit my lip, my fingers nervously fidgeting with my dark colored dress. "Would you like me to teach you how to ride?"

Ivars' head snapped back in my direction, his one brow cocked in a questioning way. Looking into his eyes I could see that he was deep in thought. He had just gotten his legs and wasn't very stable on them, riding a horse would prove to be very difficult.

"How about we walk today?" Ivar said, giving a half smile. His eyes drifted down to his crutch and braces. "I'm sure the blacksmith could come up with a saddle for me, but until then it's the chariot or this." He said, shaking his crutch.

I smiled my best reassuring smile up at him. "Walk it is, then."

The walk up to the waterfall was mostly in silence. Every now and again Ivar would try and stifle a grunt, trying to keep his struggling a secret. I felt bad watching him try to make his way around the fallen branches, shrubs and rocky ground. I second guessed inviting him but then I remembered he made his way here before his crutches, seemingly, just fine. And we needed this.

Vidar trotted ahead of the both of us, his ears constantly twitching this way and that, listening for other creatures. He would look back every so often at us, no doubt making sure I was safe. The wolf clearly didn't like being back with Ivar, the few times Ivar came near me last night, Vidar growled and bared his teeth. Ivar threatened to lock him up again which only made him snarl more.

Do you really need this? After everything that's happened, do you really want to give that a second chance? The nagging voice inside my head couldn't help itself. You have no one. Nothing. Go somewhere far away and start over, you idiot!

I shook my head, quieting my mind. Surely I could pack what little I have and leave but... I still loved him.

In the times I came to the place before Ivar happened, I would have been sitting on the log that stretched over the pool at the bottom of the waterfall. However, now I was sitting along the bank of the pool in the mossy, slightly moist soil. Between the long hike here and the last time I was here with Ivar when he tempted to crawl out onto the log, I wouldn't ask that of him again. I did miss the view from the log, though.

Vidar had taken off into the woods to hunt once we had settled. The silence between Ivar and I was uncomfortable, each of us waiting for the other to start up some small talk. We both looked around our surroundings in hopes that something that we saw would spark conversation.

I thanked the gods that my legs worked and bounded to my feet, proclaiming that we needed a fire. Ivar nodded in agreeance. "Yes, a fire."

He reached for stones that were scattered on the ground around him and began to dig a small pit with his fingers. Meanwhile, I walked around picking up sticks and branches.

This was proving to be the most stressful day of relaxation.

When my arms were full with the kindling, I had no choice but to join Ivar. I let the wood pieces fall out of my arms and onto the ground before I sat back down. Ivar had dug a small pit and lined it with stones to keep the fire from spreading and filled the pit with as much dried brush as he could find.

I grabbed a few of the smaller pieces of wood and placed them in the pit then grabbed two thicker pieces and began to rub them together. As soon as smoke started to come from the friction of the sticks, Ivar leaned in and started to blow gently until s small flame appeared. He put some more dried brush on top of the flame making it get bigger and then I added some more sticks to the now roaring fire.

Again we were stuck in the awkward silence, except this time we had a roaring fire to go along with the sound of the tumbling water.

Ivar cleared his throat in an attempt to get my attention. I looked up at him and saw him pat the ground next to him in a silent command to come sit next to him. Nodding my head, I scooted over to his side and sat, bringing my legs up into my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

Ivar sighs deeply. "I guess I'll tell you, since we are starting over. And because you've asked one hundred times."

"Tell me what, Ivar?"

"Mmm, I missed my name on your lips." He pulled me in to him and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Why I did what I did. Why we are where we are."

Ivar took a swig of his drink that he had poured when we first arrived. When he pulled the cup from his lips he swallowed the remainder of the liquid sharply, baring his teeth as the mead traveled down the back of his throat. He rested his forearm on his knee that he had pulled up towards his chest, his hand hanging limply with his ale horn in his hand. He swirled it around, visibly thinking of his next words.

"My mother never liked you. She didn't like the idea of Sigurd being infatuated with an orphan who, in her eyes, would never amount to anything. You were not born into some high standing family and since you didn't have a family, she thought you wouldn't become a fierce shield maiden." Ivar smiled and scoffed as he looked down at me. "Imagine her surprise if she were still alive."

Ivar's compliment took a moment to sink in. When it finally did, a slow, stupid smile crept on my face. He was becoming known for his genius battle tactics as well as his ruthlessness with his sword. The fact that he thinks I've become worthy of the title of shield maiden was the best compliment I'd ever received.

"Over the years, she saw that you would disappear for some time and then return. She asked around and learned that you were staying with Lagertha." Ivar's lip twitched up from just speaking her name.

"She didn't think anything of it until she saw you training with my brother. Her mind spiraled. She was convinced that you were somehow going to Lagertha and giving her insight on how she could attack Kattegat and take her place as queen. She was paranoid that Lagertha would come for her since she was the reason Ragnar left her."

"What really set her over the edge was her overhearing Sigurd speaking with Hvitserk one evening saying how he wanted to ask you to marry him. My mother wouldn't have it. So she told me to spy on the two of you. You left that knife that Lagertha gave you in the woods and it was all over."

Ivar sucked his teeth, still looking out at the waterfall. Ivar laid back and took me with him so that I was laying on my side with my head on his chest as he continues.

"Since we were children... since you treated me like a normal human, I've always loved you. But I saw how close you and Sigurd were becoming, even as children and I... I couldn't handle it. I knew that you would choose him over me. I mean... why would you choose a cripple over someone who..." He trailed off, shaking his head to get him back on track.

"Anyways, when my mother made you her slave I saw how much Sigurd fought for you and how truly helpless he was. There is no doubt, I was my mothers favorite. I saw my moment to have you for myself and I took it. I convinced my mother to make you my personal slave. That way there was no possible way Sigurd could catch our mother after too much wine and have her free you accidentally. You were mine and there was nothing Sigurd could do about it."

Idly tracing circles on his chest with my fingers I let his words sink in. "You could have told me how you felt..." I muttered.

"I doubt you would have chosen a cripple over Sigurd. Not that it was much of a choice; a cripple or Sigurd." He laughed, saying his late brothers' name with a mocking tone.

"Stop, Sigurd was a good man."

"Yes, but he was a terrible hunter." Ivar quipped, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.

I scoffed, a slight smile creeping over my lips. I quickly tried to hide it.

"And a terrible axe thrower..." Ivar continued once he saw me try to hide my smile.

I looked up at him and saw him fake a frown and raise his brows in an attempt to show me that he was joking.

I burst out laughing at his silly expression. He wasn't wrong. "And he was the worst archer!" I said between fits of laughter.

"We had been tracking a bear through the woods for hours. When we finally got to the beast, Sigurd insisted I let him shoot it. He wanted a story to trump the one of Bjorn killing a bear. Not that killing a bear with a bow would trump Bjorn wrestling one with his bare hands. I knew he always had trouble stringing his bow so before he took aim, I questioned him about it. In true Sigurd fashion, he snapped at me and told me of course it was strung right! I let him have the shot but when he went to release, the arrow just fell from his bow to the ground!"

I grabbed my stomach as I laughed hysterically remembering Sigurd's mortified face when he realized what happened.

"He would always go to Ubbe and beg him to string his bow for him." He wiped the tears from his laughter with the back of his hand. "He could string an oud but not a bow..." he trailed off."I miss his music."

The mood of our conversation instantly changed, going from a light hearted one to a heavy one. Half of me wanted to lash out at him. He was the reason he would never hear his brothers' music again but as I looked at him and saw the hurt wash over him, I knew his guilt was eating him alive. He didn't need my harsh words. At least not now.

We both heard a branch snap behind us and we turned in the direction of the sound. Vidar came out from the trees holding two dead rabbits in his jaws. He looked at both Ivar and I sitting together and let out a soft growl.

I held my hand out to him and made a kiss noise to coax him over to us. Vidar stayed there for a moment, his ears dropping down against his body. "Here, boy."

The wolf finally trotted over to me, his eyes on Ivar the entire time. When he got in front of me, he dropped both the animals to the ground. Ivar leaned forward to reach for them and Vidar snapped his jaws at him.

Ivar ripped his hand back and hugged it against his chest, his eyes wide and his lips parted. He quickly hid his fear, dropping his expression back to his normal stoic one.

"I see I have my work cut out with this one." He grumbled.

The rest of the time we spent in the woods was mostly in silence except for some small talk. We busied ourselves with skinning the rabbits and then cooking them over the fire. When the sun was starting to set I filled our ale horns with water and doused the flames. Ivar took a few large stones that were scattered around him and put them on top of the embers and then we were off back to the great hall.

Back at the great hall, we sat down for our nightly feast with King Harald and a few others that I had yet to learn their names. Harald noticed the change between Ivar and I and to celebrate, he relentlessly filled out ale horns. This led to the two of us having a little too much to drink.

We both stumbled back to Ivar's room, drunk and laughing hysterically at the sarcastic jokes we were making. As soon as I entered the room, I let go of Ivar's hand and danced my way across his room, twirling as I hummed the melody of the song that one of the men in the hall was playing. As I danced around the open space in the middle of the room, I started to feel dizzy from all of the mead. My hip bumped into one of the tables making me stumble for a moment. I looked down at the table and huffed then went right back to dancing.

"You're a terrible dancer," Ivar laughed.

I stopped moving immediately and brought my hands up to my chest. My lips parted and I scoffed, faking a hurt expression. "Well at least I'm not as terrible as you!"

His head dipped down and he smirked his devilish smirk. Just him looking at me like that was enough to make me melt. I could feel my heart skip a beat in my chest and I felt heat rise between my legs. I bit my lower lip and without thinking, went right to him.

Ivar was leaning against the door frame of his room, watching me as I came to stand in front of him. As soon as I was close enough I stood on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and crashed my lips against his.

He breathed out as soon as our lips touched and I could feel his cold breath fan across my burning cheeks. Within moments our kiss deepened. I parted my lips for his tongue and as soon as they met I couldn't help but moan at how delicious he tasted. I missed him, his taste.

Ivar pushed off the wall, wrapping his free arm around my waist and started walking towards his bed, his lips never leaving mine. When the back of my legs hit against his bed, I lost my balance and fell back, taking him with me.

I couldn't help but break from the kiss and laugh at me being so clumsy. I looked up at Ivar who was looking down at me with hooded eyes. Seeing how sexy he looked in the dark light of the room made me bite my bottom lip. Without thinking, my legs went to wrap around his hips but he pushed them away and righted himself. He quickly threw his crutch to the wooden floor making a loud clang as soon as it hit and then moved to the buckles and latches that kept his leg braces in the place. He had them off faster than I'd ever seen him do it and was back on the bed.

Before he moved back to his place on top of me, his hands moved to my ankles. His calloused hands slid up my legs taking my dress with him. I took the hint and undid the buckles off my apron dress and tossed them to the floor, not caring where they landed. Ivar licked his lips when his hands stopped on the middle of my thighs. His fingers squeezed my thighs tightly and then gently started to massage my muscles while he spread my legs.

I could hear the fabric of my dress tear while I wiggled it up my body and over my head. I was practically panting with anticipation as I watched Ivars' eyes roam my now naked body. He hummed low while he watched my breasts bounce from coming out from under my dress.

I laid propped up on the many furry pillows of our bed, naked with my legs spread while Ivar sat between them. Gods, I needed him.

Ivars' devious smile grew when he finally locked eyes with me. He purposefully stopped massaging my legs and slowly traced his fingers up to my hips, tracing invisible shapes along my belly. His fingers dipping down to just above my my core and then quickly moved away, teasing me.

The burning desire in my belly was now a raging fire. I pushed his hands away from my body and sat up on my haunches in front of him and started tearing off his clothes as fast as I could. I cursed myself for drinking as much as I had, I'm sure taking off Ivar's clothes would be much easier if I wasn't so intoxicated.

Ivar chuckled while he watched the spectacle of me trying to frantically undress him. His hands roamed up and down my body, squeezing and massaging randomly as he went. I relished the feeling of him touching every part of me.

With his tunic finally off and the strings of his trousers finally undone, I shoved my hand down past the hem of his pants and grabbed his already hard cock. He gasped and then growled while my hand instantly started to move up and down his cock. He grabbed the hair at the back of my neck and brought me into a sloppy, dominating kiss.

Breaking away from the kiss, I pushed him down onto the bed. Once his head hit the pillows I worked on pulling off his trousers. I tried to be as careful as possible so I wouldn't ruin the moment by causing him pain.

"Someone's eager, hmm?" He hummed.

I couldn't help the drunken smirk that crept up on my lips. I loved the way he was looking up at me with an equally drunk smirk. His hooded eyes roaming up and down my body making butterflies flutter around in my belly. I moved so that I was straddling his waist.

I kept my dripping pussy held just above his cock. I sucked in my bottom lip and bit down, taking in a deep breath to try and steady my nerves. He never failed to make me feel so small under his gaze and I loved it. I loved knowing that I was his and the mead in my body was only fueling that feeling of being his and only his.

His fingers came up to my lips, tracing them lightly before he pushed them in my mouth. Instantly I started to suck on them, moving my tongue around both his fingers. I could feel myself tremble slightly knowing exactly what he planned on doing with these next.

When he took his fingers from my mouth he brought them against my pussy and started to slowly stroke my clit. I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my lips and filled the room. His smile grew more when he saw me run my hands through my hair and start to rock my hips against his fingers.

Without warning, he slid his fingers all the way inside me. I clutched onto my hair and inhaled sharply through clenched teeth. He started to move them in and out of me slowly, teasing me while he hummed in amusement.

My body was on fire for him. Ivar's free hand reached up and cupped my breast and then started to play with my nipple, a mix of tugging and pinching lightly. He had my head spinning from the intense pleasures. His thumb brushed against my clit and I could feel the tightness growing deep in my belly. I started to rock my hips faster against him and just as I was about to cum, Ivar pulled his fingers from me.

I whimpered, opening my eyes and meeting his. "No Ivar, please," I begged breathlessly.

He smiled up at me and squeezed my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. My head dipped back and I moaned loud. I loved the strange mix of pain and pleasure he was causing me.

He moved his hips upward and used his other hand to grab my hip and push me down onto his hard cock. Another moan echoed through his room while I felt my walls twitch around his length.

Ivar gripped my hips, digging his fingers into my skin before he started to guid his thrusts. He was hard and relentless as he fucked me.

"You're so fucking beautiful, little one." Ivar growled between his thrusts.

I was so lost in the moment, of feeling his cock penetrate me over and over again. Of feeling his hands run up my sides, over my breast and then back down and over my thighs. Of hearing his grunts and his ragged breathing.

Ivar stopped thrusting his hips, obviously tired from the motion he wasn't used to. I hugged my knees to his hips and found my rhythm, slightly taking over control. I watched his eyes roll back in his head while I rode him.

Slowing slightly, I found my sweet spot and focused on it. Ivar noticed the change in speed and my deliberate motions and knew that I was about to cum. He licked his thumb and pressed it back against my clit.

I cried his name as I felt the waves of pleasure wash over my spine and down my arms and legs. I collapsed onto his chest, trembling and whimpering from how hard he made me cum.

He brought his hand under my chin and lifted my head up so that I was looking at him. His lips crashed onto mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. Gods, he tasted so good.

Ivar wrapped his arm around my waist and rolled both of us over so that he was on top of me, our lips still locked. I wrapped my legs around his hips and my hands round his neck. My fingers played with his hair until he pulled away from our kiss and he started to thrust in and out of me. He put his hands at either side of my head, pushing his chest off of mine and quickened his pace, his grunts filled the room.

It wasn't long until his hips stilled and his back stiffened. He groaned loud while I watched his muscles flex, his cock pulsing inside of me as he came.

When he was finished, he pulled his warm cock from my pussy and rolled off of me and onto the bed next to me. Ivar grabbed ahold of me with shaking arms and brought me in close to him, planting a tender kiss on my forehead.

"I love you," He said with a husky tone.

"I love you too," I whispered, cuddling against his sweaty chest.