It was a moment of silence between my mother and me. I sat near her on the couch, my eyes analyzing Garte and Garroth. Garroth was definitely pampered with the presents we spoiled him with. Watching Garte play with the leftover sandy blond curls Garroth has, allowing the petit baby rest on his lap as he played along with that bright car.

   Tobin couldn’t bust up any more fun, he got tired and called it a night. I analyzed my family in blurr, thinking about nothing, just zoning out. It was quite some time since it was the last time I dozed off. I brought myself back when Garte turned to us, his azure blue eyes softly melting out my heart; joy and happiness was definitely found in them. I could barely make a quick eye connection with him, as he was talking with my mother. But, I could sense the warming delight in the expressions of his face.

“Do you wanna hold him?” Garte offered, asking my mom nicely. Garroth’s delicate and chubby hand that only managed to take a small bit of Garte’s palm rested on his hand. As Garte offered Garroth merely. Their attention taken away from the car. I keep on focusing and unfocusing to the moments of my family, not realizing how quiet I have become.

“Of course I would!” My mother cried out, a cheerful tone placed in her. She almost jumped up from the seat, proving how excited she was to hold the baby. She calmed down, standing up more properly and held Garroth gently into her arms, she sat back down on the floor of the living room. Allowing Garroth to continue playing his toy, that Garroth currently adored the most (just the way everyone adored him).

 Garte sat down on the beige couch, scooting slightly closer to me. He was silently moving but the happiness was hard for him to contain. Garte’s muscular arm swirled around me, I can smell the rough deodorant and the smell of steak. In a weird way it comforts me, allowing my mind to relax even more. My head tilts onto his bold shoulder, finding it quite comfortable. Garte moves closer, resting a quick kiss on the top of my head.

“So,” my mom speaks up, removing the silence as Garroth shook the car, making the huge black wheels support the jump as they bounced on the ground. “How was Afghanistan Garte?”

She started silently, the words did make me quite uncomfortable. Just when I find the perfect time at peace, but I couldn’t help the curiosity of it, too.

“It was...Stressful, I guess. I hated being away from all of you.’’ Garte said, the silence dropped back out again. Even Garroth stopped shaking and playing with the car, now either poking it silently or examining the details of it.

“We missed you, too.’’ I comfort him silently, my voice hushed in a small tone. I tilt my head up to look at Garte, making us both engage in an eye contact. He responded with a smile.  It made the moment quite enchanting- seeing a lover so happy, so joyful. It bloomed within Zianna’s stomach.

 The soft moment was interrupted by a mellow whimper, all the attention turns to Garroth. My mother was the first one to move, trying to make Garroth happy again with all the abilities she could do. The whimpers that held back the cry reminded her of a sad, lost puppy.

“Is he hungry? It’s been awhile since he’s eaten.’’ My mother offered worryingly, as Garroth tried to get out of her grip. Which caused her to grab him after he threw his toy he found so much love for moments ago.

“I think he wants his daddy.’’ I exclaim, expressing an idea. My voice was hushed, but it was well enough to hear. Moving away from Garte’s shoulder that caused me to feel more sleepy, as if I needed to slump my head back onto the shoulder. I itched my eye, trying to not think of dozing off or just falling asleep in all.

“I think so, too.’’ Garte agrees, standing up. The couch did not squeak to the pressure being lifted, but where he sat was still viewable. Garte walks over to Garroth in small steps, crouching down to be on a near level as him.

  Garroth stuck to Garte when my mother let go of him, the car sitting upside down beside her lap. Garroth’s dainty body clinging onto Garte, Garte responded with a soft pat, circling around Garroth’s back slowly. Garroth rested his head on Garte’s broad shoulder, cuddling in it where his breathing slowed down, his blue eyes hazing, each times his eyelids closed they turned droopier.

“He looks pretty tired.’’ I commented, even if it was obvious to realize.

“I’m pretty sure he is.’’ My mother agrees. “You guys go to bed, I’ll clean this up.’’

“Thanks, mom.’’ I nod tiredly in appreciation, there wasn’t a lot of things to clean. But, I still appreciated the effort.

   Garte wraps his arm around my slightly slouched back, making me straighten my posture. Garroth hanging onto him tightly, all of us walking slowly on the stairs until we reached the guest room. Once the door instantly opened, I wobble slightly faster towards the bed. Where I decide to take rest, staring backup at the ceiling. Allowing the sheets of comfort to embrace me into slumber of sleep.

 Garte laid Garroth near me, taking out a mint blue onesie that was slightly too big on Garroth, Garte changes him quickly. While Garroth tries to struggle his way through the changing process, squiggling around and whimpering while Garte tries to get a repeating hold of him.

“I know, buddy. You’re okay.’’ Garte promises, trying to make Garroth calmer, zipping up the onesie at last.

“Leave the cap on.’’ I mention, watching the scenery unfold in front of me. “We’re leaving pretty early tomorrow.’’

  Garte responds with a slight nod, lifting Garroth back up into his arms. Garte tries to put Garroth into the crib in peace, but Garroth grabs onto his shirt, as if begging his dad to not leave again. Having a trust issue, of his dad disappearing for so long- the possible fear of him not even coming back.

“Let him stay with us. He won’t go to sleep any other way.” I explain, not wanting Garroth to break into tears.

  Garte exchanges a smile to Garroth, agreeing with me. Soon enough, Garte lies down with me, holding tightly onto Garroth. Garroth doesn’t move, resting on Garte’s hard chest that still managed to be comforting to him. I can’t help but let out a smile that stretched out my cheeks.

“What do you think he’s gonna do when he grows up?” I ask softly, not wanting to interrupt the father-son bond.

“I don’t know…” Garte replies, taking a small moment to respond to that question.

‘’He’s gonna be a tough guy.’’ I exclaim, thinking it was  a very reasonable idea.

“You bet he is.’’ Garte agreed, his husky tone whispering softly. Both of us made eye contact, silently staring at each other. The bed we rested on made me sleepier and sleepier by each moment.

“You’re okay, half-pint. We’re right here.’’ Garte mumbles, getting sleepy too. Reacting to the slightest move Garroth made, by twitching his arms. When Garroth stops moving, adjusting himself back to sleep, I slightly sneak in small kisses on his soft and lush hands. A small soft chuckle comes out of me, not disturbing Garroth’s rest.

“I can’t wait until he can drive, or when he has kids.’’ My voice rings out softly, Garte tiredly laughs.

“I know.” He softly spoke back, stopping his laugh as he realized it might wake Garroth up. "Ugh, imagine when he's 18 and moving out."

“No, that’ll never happen.” I joke around, my words tied with sarcasm. “He’s never gonna grow up.”

“I wish he didn’t have to.’’ Garte mumbles again, the slight tingle in my stomach grew.

  It made me curious of Garroth’s future, but I definitely didn’t want him growing up, yet. The thought of it made me nervous, I became more and more sleepier by the seconds of thoughts.

I could feel Garte’s arctic blue eyes land on my face, he gave me a soft peck. With his big hand he rubbed my back, trying not to wake Garroth up. For the last few seconds of silence Garte softly  whispers.

“Get some sleep, love. We have a long day tomorrow.’’ He whispered, his deep tone shoveling through me, the day of tomorrow might make me happy or sad. But, for now I can only fall into slumbering sleep.

Garroth was in my arms, a light blue hospital gown draped over his body. He played with a colorful block in his hand and I slightly bounced him.

His features are a little bit older, though he looks exactly like Garte and like he did when he was younger. His eyes are tired and his body is frail and skinny, but he’s still strong. I give him a smile, but he doesn't smile back.

“Mrs. Ro’Meave.” I hear a woman's voice say. I turn around, Garroth secure in my arms.

I hold onto him tightly, scared to give him away for surgery. My heart beats fast, I’m too scared to let him go. I look at Garroth, my mind clearly unsure of what to do.

“Zianna, he’ll be okay.” I hear Tobin’s voice say.

The doctor brings her hands out. I sigh, my breath shaking. I hand him over to the doctor, but Garroth reaches his little arms out and begs for me. I can already see tears running down his face. He reaches his hands out and I can tell the doctor is struggling to hold and keep him still.

“Mommy, no! I don't wanna go!” His toddler voice speaks clearly.

I can feel tears burn my eyes. “I know, baby. When you wake up I'll be right here.”

“Mommy, please! No!” He reaches for me. It hurts like hell to know I can't do anything.

“Shh, you're okay baby boy.” I kiss the side of his head. “Remember what we talked about? The doctors are gonna take good care of you and when you wake up mommy will be right there.”

“It's gonna hurt! Mommy please!” He begs and he won't stop.

“Baby, you won't feel a thing. Its not gonna hurt at all.” I explain to him. It seems like my arms are begging for him to be in them.

“Promise?” Garroth sniffles and asks me.

“I promise, baby.” I say, kissing his forehead.

And just like that, he's whisked away by the doctors.

It only feels like minutes until they come into my room. The main surgeon’s gown is undone and his hands are folded. I stand up immediately, folding my hands as well. My heart beats fast. His face shows extreme concern.

“Where is my son?!” I exclaim.

“Mrs. Ro’Meave, despite our best efforts…” The doctor begins.

Tears flood my eyes. My lip wobbles as I shake my head quickly. My hands, folded only moments ago grasp my chest. Tears flow down my cheeks as I begin to hyperventilate.

“N-No! He can't be!” I scream out loud.

The doctor takes a deep breath. I can't tell he's hesitant.

“Mrs. Ro’Meave, despite our best efforts and doing everything we could, your son unfortunately died on the table.” The doctor looks down.

“No, no!” I scream, the words struggling to come out.

“No, not my baby… Not my little boy…”

“No!” I sit up in the bed, the sheets moving along with my body.

I breathe fast and look around. The sheets are clutched in my hands. I touch my face lightly, apparently I was crying in my sleep. I look around in the dark, hardly making out anything.

“Honey?” I hear Garte’s voice say. “What's wrong?”

He sits up, rubbing my back gently. I check the time, it’s about 2 AM. My heart races. I wanna know where my son is.

“Where's Garroth? Is he okay?” I ask in a rushed tone.

“Honey, honey, honey.” Garte says, engulfing me in a hug. “Garroth is right there, he's just fine. He's not going anywhere.” He says as he points to Garroth's crib and rubs my arm.

“A-Are you sure he’s okay?” I ask, holding onto Garte like Garroth holds onto him.

“I'm positive. He's right there, perfect as always.” He kisses the top of my head.

I take a deep, relieving breath. I hold onto Garte so hard, staring at Garroth’s chest rising and falling. Garte keeps holding me, making sure I calm down.

Once I do finally calm down, I feel tired again. All the adrenaline in my blood is gone. Garte and I both lie down at the same time, I still lie close to him.

Taking a deep breath and hearing his voice talk quietly.

“We’ll leave in a few hours. Its okay, Honey. Go to sleep.”