"So, it's official," Oliver said with a grin. "You and Estella are finally dating."

        My jaw tensed, but I fought back the frown that wanted to take over my face. Brice, Oliver and I were walking up the stairs and into the commons area after another grueling practice for company. This time, the three of us took a quick shower before leaving. Practice was that intense.

        Brice chuckled. "Yeah. She said 'yes' Saturday night."

        I frowned this time. That was the night we kissed. She agreed to be his girlfriend right after. There was a tight feeling in my chest, and all I wanted to do was find her and tell her to break up with him, but I knew that would be selfish. I couldn't bring myself to fully give into my feelings and commit to her, so I had no right stopping her from being with someone who would.

        That didn't make it hurt any less.

        We stopped near the vending machine, and I looked around, hoping to catch sight of Estella.

        "Velasco," Brice said, getting my attention. "Estella and I are going to the beach. You should come."

        "That third wheel status, though," Oliver said with a smirk. I pointed a thumb at Oliver, agreeing with him.

        Brice sighed. "Don't do that. The three of us haven't hung out in a while, and it'll give you and Estella an opportunity to spend time together since things have been so tense."

        "Yeah." Oliver glimpsed my way. "Why is that shit still going on? Can't you two make up, already?"

        "It's not that big of a deal."

        It was. I missed her. All I wanted to do was be around her, hold her and kiss her. A couple months ago, I would have been disgusted by myself for having these thoughts. Especially about a girl I found annoying and juvenile.

        "If it's not, then come kick it with us," Brice said. "Drinks. Food. A beautiful scenery. Spending time with friends. What could be better?"

        "Well," Oliver said with his palms together, "while you guys figure this out, I'm gonna head out and meet up with Tyler at the library."

        "Okay," Brice said. "See you, man."

        "Bye," I said while he turned to walk away with a wave.

        Brice and I turned to each other. "Come on, Velasco."

        "Why do you care?"

        He shrugged. "Because. This beef between you and Estella is really affecting her."

        My expression relaxed. I didn't want to hurt her. That was exactly why she was better off without me. I came with too much baggage. Baggage that went beyond the fact that my father killed her mother.

        Even though I said this, a selfish part of me still wanted her. It was even more excruciating since she wanted me, too.

        I needed to see her.

        "Okay," I agreed. "I'm down."

        Brice smiled. "Great." He peeked down at his phone. "Now, where is she?"

        Small hands covered Brice's eyes from behind. "Here." I knew that voice all too well.

        Estella.

        Brice grinned, and he turned around, grabbing her into an embrace. "Gotch you."

        She giggled while he nuzzled his face into her neck. I stuffed my hands into my pockets, and they turned to fists while I looked away. It was one thing to know they were together, and it was another to see them together. This wasn't a good idea.

        When the pair separated, they turned to me, with Estella's gaze bearing through mine.

        "Why don't we head out in your car, Velasco?" Brice said. "Oliver dropped me off today, so I don't have mine."

        "Okay." My voice came out more strained than I wanted. "Let's go."

        I walked between them, heading for the exit without looking back at them. Brice was talking, but I didn't pay him any attention. Estella was silent, probably listening while my thoughts ran wild.

        Why couldn't I be like Brice, certain in what I wanted and open to dating her without a second thought? The hit and run was definitely a factor, but Ximena thought there was more.

        When we reached Verda, I hoped in while Brice and Estella got in as well. Estella was in the middle, and she was close to me. Unlike before, I wanted her close, but I didn't think about it too much, focusing on reversing out of my parking space instead.

We drove to QuikTrip, and Brice and Estella went in while I stayed back to buy some gas. They returned with a pack of beer and some snacks and drinks, and we started on the snacks as I drove us to the beach. Estella would sneak a peek my way, and I would glance over at her, but we never met each other's gaze. This continued until we arrived at the beach.

        Brice hopped out and took the pack of beers towards my trunk that I opened. Brice and I got in, and when Estella came, Brice was occupied with the beer. I turned to her, and our gazes met. We stared for a couple seconds before I reached my hand out. She hesitated, but she eventually grabbed my hand, and I pulled her up. We were close, continuing to look at each other.

        Then Brice spoke. "Come on, sexy." He patted his lap. "Got a spot for you."

        She broke our stare and moved over to sit between Brice's legs. My legs dangled off the edge of the trunk. This felt like déjà vu. Things were simpler back then. I was ignorant, and I saw Estella as only a friend.

        "Velasco," Brice called out to me. "Not again. Turn so you can at least see us."

        I didn't want to. Seeing them all cuddled up and lovey-dovey was too much, especially since I wanted it to be me who held her.

        Despite this, I rotated myself so I was horizontal to them, and my feet pressed against the inside of Verda's side.

        "Better?" I asked in a mocking tone, and Brice nodded.

        "Better."

        Estella moved her finger along her drink with her eyes on the bottle. Brice nudged her. "You good, babe?"

        I almost grimaced. Brice was basic like that. Babe. Sexy. It was irritating and predictable. I didn't know if my sudden annoyance with Brice had to do with Estella, but it was getting stronger with each day.

        "I'm perfect." Estella moved her gaze to me. "Why don't we play music?"

        Brice's eyes lit up. "That's a great idea. Velasco, wanna do the honors?"

        I was already on it. I hopped off my trunk and walked to the driver side of Verda. I put on my favorite rock station, but Brice banged on the back of my car's back window. "Hey!" I called out for him to cut it out. "That's my car you're messing with."

        "What the hell is this?" he yelled from the back, and I sighed. I turned the dial to move to a different station—a hip hop and rap station. "That's what I'm talking about," he said in approval.

        Predictable.

        I made my way back to the trunk and reclaimed my original position. "Is this good?"

        Brice nodded. "This is what's up."

        Estella glanced back at him. "You know it's Jax's car, right?" Brice froze, with his beer bottle to his lips. "Shouldn't he get the say in what we listen to?"

        Brice brought his drink down. "Majority rules."

        Estella tilted her head with a thoughtful look. "So you're assuming I'm a part of this majority?"

        "Aren't you?" he asked.

        She placed a finger on her chin. "Well, I like hip hop and rap, but I also like rock." I smiled. "So technically, there's no majority. I can go either way."

        Brice watched her with his head tilted. "Rock? You like rock?"

        She nodded, and I couldn't stop smiling. "I can like music from any genre."

        "Even country?" Brice asked, and Estella nodded. "Wow. I learn something new every day. What are some of your favorite artists?"

        "Within Temptation and P-Square," I answered before Estella could, and her attention moved to me. "She likes a lot of foreign music." Her lips quirked up at the corners.

        Brice nodded with his lips pressed together in acceptance. "Okay. Why don't I ask you some more questions?"

        "Okay." Estella moved herself from between his legs, and she made herself horizontal as well, with her legs over his lap and her feet pressed against the inside of Verda's side that was opposite of the one I pressed my feet against. "Go for it."

        "What's your favorite movie?" Brice asked.

        "The Shawshank Redemption," I answered again, and Brice sent me a fake glare.

        "Do you know more about my girlfriend than I do, Velasco?" Brice asked with a smirk.

        I shrugged. "Maybe." My expression was serious.

        "Okay, then," Brice said with his eyes returning to Estella. "Let's see who knows you better, Estella." Her eyes widened. "Ask us some questions, and we'll see who knows the most."

        "Brice—" Estella started, but he put a hand up.

        "Let's go." She had his full undivided attention, and she had mine as well.

        "Okay," Estella said while adjusting herself to get comfortable. "What's my favorite drink?"

Easy.

        "Apple juice," I answered.

        "What would I like to be in the future?"

        "A cultural anthropologist," I said while Brice glanced between the two of us.

        "Damn." He rubbed a hand down his head. "This is a rough start."

        "Where will I like to retire someday?"

        "Finland," I said.

        Estella paused to think. "Where do I prefer to sit in a booth if I'm with someone?"

        "Side by side," Brice quickly said before sending me a cocky smirk.

        I looked Estella in the eye. "It doesn't matter if you're with the right person."

        We held each other's gaze. I wanted to remind her of that. In some ways, I was the right person. Not always, but I could be.

        "Next question," Brice said with a frown.

        "Final question," Estella clarified. "Why did I join band?"

        I had to think about it for a second because I knew she told me once, and based off Brice's expression, he was clueless. There was a sentimental reason why she joined band. Then I thought of that picture they had of her mother.

        I held eye contact with Estella as I said, "Because your mother played the flute when she was younger."

Her mother being brought up amplified the guilt, and I wasn't even the person who killed her.

        Estella sent me a sad smile, and Brice reached for her hand. "I didn't know that," he said.

        "You don't know a lot of things," I mumbled, and Brice squinted his eyes at me before returning his gaze to Estella.

        "I feel connected to her every time I play my flute," she said.

        My gaze moved between the two before stopping on Estella. "Does he...?"

        Brice nodded. "I know about her mother."

        I nodded once with a sting of jealousy at the fact that she told him. But then again, I had no right. He was her boyfriend. I wasn't.

        Brice chuckled. "We need to talk more, Estella. I can't believe Velasco kicked my ass like that."

        She smiled at me. "I guess he's a good listener."

        "Exactly." Brice pulled Estella to reclaim her spot between his legs, and he wrapped his arms around her with his chin resting on her shoulder.

        It was excruciating to watch.

        "You two are such good friends," Brice continued. "Which is why it's ridiculous to have this awkward tension between you two." Estella and I focused on each other. "Whatever is happening, squash it. Your friendship is more important."

        "Yeah," Estella said. "It's done." I fought to keep my expression from crumbling. "Our friendship is the most important thing. Nothing else."

        "Y-yeah." I cleared my throat. "Our friendship."

        Losing Estella to Brice was painful, but if I lost her altogether, that would be devastating.

        "Friends?" Brice asked with his eyes flickering between us.

        I sent Estella a small smile, and she returned it. "Friends," we both said.

        "Awesome!" Brice said in jubilation, with his arms up before they came back down so he could wrap them around Estella. "Now, more drinks."

        That was my cue. I grabbed my cup of coke while the two love birds downed their beers. Well, Brice downed his while Estella took careful sips. The more Brice drank the beer, finishing the whole pack, he was getting more talkative. Not drunk, but something was happening. Eventually, he started to ramble.

        "You know what, Velasco?" Brice said. "A part of me is a little pissed that you know all these things about Estella, and a part of me is really pissed how close you guys are. Which makes no sense because I just helped you guys make up." He laughed while Estella and I exchanged looks before re-focusing on him. "But then again, you're both part of my six favorite people. My parents, of course. My boys." He bobbed his head my way. "And my girl." He chuckled while looking down at Estella. "Right, babe?"

        Brice moved his hands from her middle up to her chest, and he squeezed.

        "Hey!" I yelled.

        "Brice!" Estella squealed as she jumped up and off him. "What the hell?" She glared down at him as Brice stood up, too.

        "Come on, Es." He held his smile as he reached for her. She swatted his hands away, and he frowned. "Don't be a prude."

        Okay. This was enough. I stood up, too. "Don't ever touch me like that again," Estella said, "unless I give you permission to."

        "You're making a big deal out of nothing." He tried grabbing her once more, and she rejected his gesture again.

        I pushed Brice back. "Chill, Abrams. Why don't you keep your hands to yourself? If she doesn't want you touching her, don't touch her."

        Brice slit his eyes at me, and he moved closer. Estella was caught in the middle of us. "Last I checked," Brice said, moving in some more, "she's my girlfriend."

        "Yeah," I said, refusing to back down, "and last time I checked, it's her body."

        A crease formed in his forehead. "Mind your damn business, Velasco." He pushed me back.

        "Stop," Estella said while I caught myself.

        I pushed him again. "Get a hold of yourself, Abrams."

        "Stop!" Estella repeated, louder and firmer.

        "You think you're so righteous, don't you?" Brice said to me. "You're so aware and never problematic. You're so perfect, aren't you?"

        "I'm not perfect!" I shouted as I pushed him back again. "If I was," I continued with my finger poking into his chest this time, "I wouldn't have given up one of the few good things in my life." I paused, kicking myself for blurting that out. I didn't look at her, but I could feel her eyes on me. "For what?" I kept going. "Why did I do it? I don't know."

        Brice's expression relaxed. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Velasco." I put some distance between us. "But it sounds like you need to get your shit together."

        "I agree," Estella said before walking past us to jump out of the trunk. "I wanna go home."

        Brice and I threw the trash away, including the empty pack of beer. Then we returned to the truck. Estella stood outside the door, and Brice came in from behind her, wrapping his arms around her again. "I'm sorry, babe," he said in a low voice. "I didn't mean to get handsy and disrespect you." He kissed her cheek, and I swallowed when my throat got tighter. "I'm sorry."

        He pulled her closer, and she rested a hand on his arm. "Never do it again," she said. "I'm serious."

        "Got it." He kissed her cheek again.

        "We gotta go." I got into my car, slamming the door harder than I needed to, and Brice and Estella pulled away to enter Verda.

        I needed to get home. I couldn't take this anymore.

        Once we were all settled in, I drove faster than I needed to. I stuck my arm out the window and allowed the breeze to blow through my fingers. Brice talked to Estella as he listened to his rap music.

        "We good, Velasco?" Brice asked when we entered his neighborhood.

        I stopped in his driveway and removed my frown. I turned to him with a small smile and said, "We're good."

        Brice smiled back. "Awesome. See you two later." He placed a quick kiss on Estella's lips, and I struggled to not look away. "Bye."

        Estella and I said our goodbyes as he got out of the car and closed the door. He waved as we drove off.

        While I drove us to Estella's house, it was silent. I changed the station to my rock one, and I at least could jam out to it.

        "I had fun," Estella said, breaking the silence. She glanced my way. "Did you?"

        "I don't know," I said, being honest.

        I liked spending time with Brice. I liked spending time with Estella. Them together, not so much.

        She turned her body my way. "Why?"

        My stare stayed forward. "Don't worry about it."

        I could feel her continuing to watch me. "What you said earlier...about giving up—"

        "I don't want to talk about it." I still wasn't looking at her. "Drop it."

        She went silent, her stare feeling more intense. "There you go. Shutting me out again. The wall never completely comes down."

        "What do you want from me, Estella?" I finally met her gaze as I pulled into her driveway. I killed the engine and the radio and I removed my seat belt, so I could face her. She did the same. "What do you want?"

        "I already told you what I wanted," she said. Her expression softened. I looked away, but my gaze had to return to her. "But it's obvious that you don't want me."

        "I never said that," I said through gritted teeth. She would never know how wrong she was.

        "You don't have to," she said. "Your actions say it all."

        I groaned with my fingers running through my hair. "I just want things to go back to the way they were before. Meeting at the vending machine. Talking in French. Poking fun at each other." I sighed. "It was simple. Not this, whatever this is. Me being mad at Brice just because he has you. It's too much." I groaned again with my hand rubbing down my face.

        "It's too much because you're fighting it," she said, bringing my hand down so we could look into each other's eyes. "You're fighting everything that you're feeling, and you're fighting what's happening and changing around you."

        I slowly shook my head with it bowed down. "I want things to be the way they were before."

        I said this, but a part of me didn't want to go back to the way things were before.

        "Things can never go back to the way they were before," Estella said.

        "I miss the way we used to be."

        She sent me a sad smile. "I do, too. But we can never go back to the way we were."

        I peered up at her. "Because of what's happening? Whatever this is?"

        "Yeah," she said. "This is it, Jax. Either you accept it and go with it, or it'll sweep you right under."

        I glanced out the window. "I don't know what to do."

        "I can't tell you what to do," Estella pointed out, "but like Brice said, you need to get it together." My attention was back on her. "I have to go." She opened the door before turning back to me. "I'll see you later. Like I said before, our friendship is what matters."

        With that said, she got out of the car and entered her house. I sat silently, even after she was out of sight. This was the driveway we kissed at a couple nights ago. Nothing mattered but her at that moment. Why wasn't that feeling enough to free me from this confusion? None of it made sense. The only thing that made sense—my feelings for Estella—wasn't enough. I leaned back into my seat and closed my eyes.

        Estella was right. I needed to go along with it, even if that meant giving up Estella, or I was going to be swept under. And it wouldn't be anyone's fault but my own.