Estella didn't talk to me the whole weekend. The last time we spoke was our little trip to Rowe Park. I texted and called but nothing. I didn't want to blow up her phone, so I left it at that.

When Monday arrived, I was anxious for French. We still sat together, so she couldn't ignore me then. I was the first one to arrive to class, and my gaze stayed on the door until Estella came into my line of vision. When her eyes found mine, I smiled, and she sent me a small one in return. When she sat next to me, my eyes stayed on her.

"Can we talk?" I asked while she got settled in.

"About?"

I sent her a look. "Estella... You know what."

Her gaze stayed forward. "I don't know what to say, Jax."

"Let's just talk it out."

"Let's not." She finally looked at me. "I don't want to deal with this right now. I just want to focus on school, and that's it."

"Este—" I stopped because her attention was already on Madame LeBlanc.

She stayed true to her word, and Estella didn't talk to me all of French. Lunch wasn't any better. She spent most of it zoned out, and she didn't even speak to Brice much.

"Babe." Brice nudged her, getting her attention. "You okay? You've been kind of out of it today."

She sent him a smile, but I saw through it. "I'm fine. I'm gonna go get apple juice."

"I'll come with you," I said before she stood up. Oliver snorted, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Got something to say, Oliver?"

"I'm good," he said.

"I think I'll go alone, Jax," Estella said, and she stood up.

I did as well. "I'll come. I have to buy something, anyway."

Oliver cleared his throat, and I was so close to smacking him upside the head.

"I'll get it for you," Estella said. "There's no point in us both going if I could just get it." We held eye contact, not saying anything for a couple seconds. Brice glanced between us. "Right, Jax?"

I slowly shook my head, in disbelief. "Right," I still said. I handed her some cash. "Can you get me some cheddar cheese Ruffles?"

She pocketed the money. "You got it."

And she was gone. It took me some seconds to sit back down, and I preoccupied myself with playing with my food.

"What's going on, Velasco?" Brice asked. "What's up with you guys?" He chuckled, but there was some tension in it. "Honestly, there's always something with you two. If you aren't in some unknown fight, then you're sticking together like some tag-team. You act like a couple." Oliver choked on his fries, and I almost rolled my eyes. "Did something happen when you guys went on that drive?"

"Don't worry about it, Abrams," I said. "Estella and I are fine."

He dropped it, and when Estella came back, she handed me my Ruffles. I placed it in my book bag because I didn't have an appetite for it.

Near the end of lunch, Brice placed his hand on the table. "Okay, guys," he said, "as you all know, party at my house tomorrow."

"Finally," Oliver said. "We get to see the Abrams's residence."

"Have you been granted permission by your parents?" Tyler asked.

Brice waved him off. "Trivial details. All that matters is they'll be out of the house." He turned to Estella. "Estella, you can bring your friends."

"Even Sadaf?" Oliver asked.

"I'll bring Sadaf," Estella said. "Can I also bring Sabrina?"

Brice scrunched up his face. "Why?"

"She and Mi Yun are friends," Estella said. "Mimi will want to bring her."

"Won't that ignite old feelings of hostility?" Tyler asked. "Brice and Sabrina have a very tumultuous history."

"That's in the past," Estella said. She clapped her hands together with a grin. "Please?"

"You don't like Sabrina," I said.

"But I like Mimi," she retorted. "C'mon, Brice."

"Okay," he said with a sigh. "Mi Yun can bring Sabrina." He turned to Tyler. "Tyler, you can bring Bree. And I think that's it. Nothing big. Just us." Brice's focus shifted to me. "Wanna bring Ximena?"

"We're broken up."

He brought up his arms in surrender. "Just putting it out there."

I appreciated it, but Ximena and I hadn't spoken since our breakup. We rarely spoke while we were a couple. Yet alone while we were broken up.

Lunch went as usual, and I usually looked forward to the weekends. Unfortunately, I had to attend Brice's party.

Predictable.

I thought this, but I still got dressed Saturday night and headed for the door. My father was drinking on the couch watching football. "I'm going out."

"Iago—" I was already out the door.

I hopped into Verda, got settled in and blasted my music on the way to the Abrams's house. When I arrived, everyone was there. I wanted to spend as little time as possible at this party. Not because of the company but because I needed time alone to process everything.

I shouldn't have told Estella the truth. Not only because it was placing a rift in our relationship but also because of my dad. We weren't in a good place at the moment, but I didn't want him getting arrested. All Estella had to do was tell her father, and my dad would be fucked. I was surprised she hadn't done so already.

"Velasco!" Brice clasped a hand on my shoulder with a red solo cup in his other one. "Glad you could make it, man."

"Only for you," I said.

Tyler was talking to Bree. Mi Yun and Sabrina were dancing. Sadaf and Oliver seemed to be having a serious conversation, probably addressing Sadaf ghosting him. And Estella approached us. She grabbed Brice's arm to pull him away.

"Let's dance."

She was already leading him away, and Brice grinned my way. "See you later, man. Can't disappoint my girl."

Estella and I locked gazes for a second before she returned her attention to Brice as they moved to the middle of the living room. The music was loud, and it was Brice's hip-hop playlist. At some point, Mi Yun was trying to teach Sadaf how to twerk. Even Estella started twerking, and it was an oddly amusing sight. Brice and Oliver hyped them up. Even Tyler tried dancing to the beat as Brice and Oliver tried showing him some moves.

After some time, the vibe moved from twerking to grinding. Well, Brice and Estella were grinding. His hands were on her hips as she moved against him, flushed to his body. I wanted to look away, but my eyes kept gravitating towards them while theirs focused on each other.

I leaned against the wall, and Sabrina stopped beside me. "Last time we talked was also at a party," she said. "Some guy from hip-hop company."

"I remember," I said. "You brushed me off."

She shrugged. "For your own good."

She reached for a cigarette, but I grabbed her hand instead. "Wanna dance?"

"Sure."

I led her to the dance floor, and Sabrina turned her back to me, pressing her ass to my crotch, and she began to move to the beat. I had to hand it to Sabrina. She had rhythm. Her hand went into my hair, and she glanced back at me. We held eye contact as we moved to the music, and it should have been intimate.

I felt nothing.

I didn't feel love. Lust. Longing. None of it. If it was sophomore year, I would have been ecstatic that Sabrina was dancing with me. That she was giving me the time of day, but it wasn't sophomore year. My eyes still gravitated towards Brice and Estella. Estella met my gaze, and her expression was unreadable.

Then Sabrina kissed me. "What the hell?" I said after pulling away. "What was that for?"

She chuckled. "It's just a kiss. It means nothing."

I pulled away from her, watching her carefully. "That's the problem," I said. "Everything means nothing to you."

"Jax!" she hollered while I walked away.

I went for the kitchen and grabbed a drink. I chugged it down. "What the hell was that?" Estella marched towards me, stopping with a frown. "Why were you dancing on Sabrina like that? And kissing her?"

It was my turn to frown, and I moved closer to her. "You ignore me for days, and now that you want to talk to me, you're confronting me?"

She crossed her arms. "What you did is messed up."

"How?" I asked. "I'm not on your case about you dancing with Brice."

"Sabrina isn't your girlfriend," Estella said. "She's Mi Yun's ex. Mimi saw everything." That was when I noticed Mi Yun glancing our way. "She's not over the breakup, Jax, but that doesn't stop you from grinding on Sabrina and kissing her."

"She kissed me."

"It takes two to dance."

I stared at her. "Is this really about Mi Yun? Or is this about you?" She stayed silent. "You don't like me being with another girl." I took a step back. "But you're okay with me seeing you grinding on Brice."

"Brice is my boyfriend."

"You keep reminding me," I said.

"Us not being together," she said with her voice quiet, "that's on you, not me."

"You still won't talk about the elephant in the room."

"I need time," she said with her voice louder. "You can't just spring something like that on someone and expect them to not need a couple days. I get it. You stopped us from being together because of what your father did, but this is a lot to process."

Her expression relaxed while we looked at each other. "That's not the only reason."

"What's not?"

"What my father did isn't the only reason I stopped us from being together."

Confusion edged her face. "What else?"

"You scared me."

There was more confusion. "I scare you?"

"You bring out things I told myself I didn't want out," I said, "but now, I know that they need to come out. I was scared."

Ximena was right. I needed an excuse to psych myself out of being with Estella, and my father gave me a perfect one.

I took a step forward. "I'm not scared anymore."

I was ready. I was ready to show myself, and if I got hurt, at least I tried. Ximena couldn't break my heart. Estella could, but I would choose Estella any day.

We stood in the kitchen, holding eye contact, not knowing what to say.

Someone cleared their throat, breaking our trance. It was Oliver. He approached Estella. "Brice is looking for you."

"Right," she said before looking at me. "I'll talk to you later."

She turned and walked away, and I watched her go. Oliver snapped his fingers in my face as he stood beside me, removing my attention from Estella. I placed my drink down as we leaned against the counter.

"I see that Project Stay-Away-from-Estella is a bust," he said. "What's going on, man?"

"Oliver, I don't have time for this," I said. "I told you, I'm not staying away from Estella."

"She seems to want to stay away from you," he pointed out. "The tension returns, and Brice is noticing. Honestly, this is tension central. Tension between you and Estella. Even tension between you and Brice. This situation is getting out of control."

This was the last thing I needed. My home life was fucked up, and now my social life was spiraling out of control.

"I don't know what to say, Oliver."

"I'm not telling Brice," Oliver said, "but it's getting to a point where I wouldn't have to. It's getting more and more obvious that you and Estella like each other." I shushed him. "This is going to blow up in your face, Jax, and it won't only hurt you but also Brice and Estella."

"You think I don't know that?"

"You're not doing anything about it," he said. "You're not trying to steal her from Brice, thank God. You're not trying to back off. What're you going to do?"

"Dammit, Oliver. I don't know." I rubbed my forehead. "I have enough shit to deal with right now."

"You need to figure it out soon, dude." He patted my back before walking away.

I was finally alone, but I was anything but content. All I wanted to do was go back to my dysfunctional home and lock myself in my room. I wouldn't have to see Brice and Estella all up on each other, and I wouldn't have to deal with Oliver's pestering.

When I emerged from the kitchen, everyone was still in the living room, with the exception of Brice and Estella. I didn't want to think about those two, so I went upstairs in search of the bathroom since someone was using the one downstairs.

I opened one door, but it was a bedroom. When I opened the second, I froze, and Estella squealed.

"Velasco!" Brice shouted as he shielded Estella with his body. They were under the covers, both topless. My throat constricted as the only person on my mind was Estella. She hid from my gaze, pressing her face into Brice's chest. "Velasco! Get out!"

I slammed the door shut right as Estella yelled, "Jax!"

I ran down the stairs, trying to contain the emotions rushing through me. I didn't know if I was pissed, sad, confused or something else. All I knew was that it overwhelmed me. This was too much. My father's alcoholism was worse. My mother was gone. I finally cut off my brothers. I confessed to Estella, and now, she was pissed at me. And she was with Brice, in every way possible. Everything was imploding, and I couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Dude, you good?" Oliver asked as I passed him, but I ignored him.

I headed into the kitchen, and I grabbed a shot glass. I grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured myself some. When I downed it, the burn made me choke, but it was oddly soothing. It tasted disgusting, but the weight lifted slightly, so I drank some more. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to forget my father, my mother, my brothers and even this situation with Brice and Estella. I didn't want any of it, so I kept drinking.

I guessed they were right. Like father, like son.