Sadaf, Mi Yun and I stood in the band room, chatting after school.

        "So," Mi Yun started, "things are really over for you and Oliver?"

        Sadaf nodded. "As long as I'm under my parents' roof. We talked, and they aren't sending me away anymore, but I have to stay away from Oliver and other boys. I'm going to respect that."

        "Is that what you want?" I asked.

        Sadaf shrugged. "It's what I have to do. It sucks that I can't be with Oliver or do certain things that I want to do, but I have to while I'm living with my parents. On the bright side, at least now I know that I can talk to boys. I can like them without that making me a bad Muslim. Everyone experiences Islam differently, and one type of worship isn't more valid than the other."

        "You got that right," I said. "You can date, Sadaf. Hell, you can have sex. If that's what you do, and that makes you autonomous, then go for it."

        "I know," she said. "Before I thought I had to be a certain way to be a good person, but I'm trying to be more open to things. Dating and having sex isn't inherently empowering, but it is if that's what I truly want, not just something I feel pressured to do."

        "Being pressured is no fun," Mi Yun said. "Our parents love us, but that doesn't always mean they know what's best for us. Sometimes, you have to make your own decisions, despite what they think."

        "I'll like to continue figuring out what I want when I move out," Sadaf said. "I love my culture and my religion, but things are going to be different. If I want to wear my hijab, I'm going to wear it. If I want to date a boy, I'm going to date a boy. Muslim or not."

        My eyes widened. "That's new."

        "I'm not going to give up great guys in search of the perfect Muslim man," she said. "If I marry a Muslim, great. If I fall in love with a boy who isn't, that's okay, too. A lot of people want Muslim women with Muslim men, so they can continue the religion, but I'll cross that bridge if I have to."

        "I'm glad you're looking within yourself to figure out what you want," Mi Yun said. "I don't care what you are or what you do. I just want you to be happy."

        "Me, too," I agreed.

        Sadaf smiled. "Thanks, guys." Mi Yun and I opened our arms to pull her into a group hug. She chuckled. "You guys are the best."

        When we pulled away, Mi Yun turned to me. "What about you, Estella? How's the whole Brice and Jax thing?"

        I groaned. I spent all of Sunday with Jax, and when I got home, I tried calling Brice. He ignored me. I didn't know what Jax and I were yet, but the whole situation with Brice made it even more confusing. I didn't understand how everything turned upside down in one weekend. It was like Brice and I moved from dating to not even talking while Jax and I were sharing kisses and catching up on lost time.

        "It's complicated," I said. "Jax and I are great."

        "Team Jax has won," Mi Yun said.

        I frowned. "There aren't teams. This isn't some teen romance movie. They're two wonderful boys. I wish none of them had to get hurt."

        I hurt Brice. Jax was afraid of me breaking his heart, but I broke Brice's. I didn't regret being with Brice, but I regretted hurting him.

        "But it's always been Jax," Sadaf said. "You may not have seen it, but it has. If you look deep within yourself, you'll know who you want. You've always known."

        I rubbed my hands down my face. "Jax is great. Now that we are together, I can't imagine leaving him."

        Being with Brice distracted me, and I could ignore my feelings for Jax. However, Brice and I breaking up was the last push I needed to fully accept my feelings for Jax. Sadaf was right. I had always known.

        "It's not an easy situation because Brice and Jax's friendship is on the line," I reminded them. "Brice isn't just heartbroken. He's pissed."

        "That's why you guys are sitting with us," Mi Yun said, and I nodded.

        Jax and I didn't sit with Brice and the boys at lunch. We sat with my friends and Sabrina. I felt bad that Jax had to leave his friends and be with all girls, but if I could go through the same thing and sit with all boys for months, so could he. Oliver and Tyler seemed to still talk to Jax, but he couldn't hang out with the group with Brice there. The only thing I was concerned about was hip-hop company. How was Jax going to deal with Brice then?

        "I don't want to be the cause of him losing his friend," I said.

        "He chose to steal his friend's girlfriend," Sadaf pointed out.

        "He didn't steal me," I said in his defense. "Brice and I were broken up."

        "Yeah," she said, "and you hooked up with Jax literally the next day. It's as if Jax was just waiting to make a move. I support you and Jax, but it is pretty messed up. I understand why Brice is mad. What if Brice started dating a new girl the day after you two broke up?" I had no words for that. "Exactly."

        "That's BS," Mi Yun said. "If they're broken up, they're broken up. She can start dating someone the day they broke up and that's okay because he has no claim to her. I think it's ridiculous to expect someone to wait a certain time after a breakup before dating or sleeping with someone again. It's a control tactic to police someone's body and will even though you're no longer together. When Sabrina and I broke up, I didn't bitch about it. If she wants to be with other people, she has every right to because we aren't dating anymore. It hurts, but I have to get over it. It has nothing to do with Sabrina."

        "I still think it's messed up," Sadaf said. "It's common courtesy."

        "Again, a control tactic," Mi Yun countered.

        "Okay, I get it," I said. "What we did was messed up, but technically, we had every right to."

        "Exactly," Mi Yun said. "You had every right. Brice shouldn't be mad. He broke up with you."

        "I'm gonna go get apple juice," I said, and Mi Yun and Sadaf continued talking while I walked out.

        When I made it to the vending machine, before I could put my dollar in I saw a familiar face coming up the stairs from the basement.

        Brice.

        I knew I shouldn't have, and I should have given him some time to heal, but I couldn't turn away. "Brice!" I ran to catch up to him, and he stopped to find my voice. His expression was numb when I stopped in front of him. "Hey."

        "No, you don't get to do that," he said. "You don't get to talk to me as if everything is okay."

        "Brice, c'mon."

        "I let you in," he said, his eyes boring through mine. "I don't with most girls, but I did with you." He shook his head. "Then you do this to me. You hookup with one of my best friends after liking him for who knows how long. I look like a fool."

        "You're not."

        "That's why I don't let women in," he said. "They only disappoint me. It started with my mother, so how can I expect other girls to be any different?"

        "That's not fair," I said. "Don't let your mother and me dictate your relationship with other women."

        "You played me," he went on. "The one girl I really gave a chance to, and you do this to me. I broke up with you, but you didn't even give me the opportunity to make it right. You ran straight into Velasco's arms. We could be together right now, but you're with him instead."

        We weren't technically together yet. We were trying to figure it out.

        "I'm sorry for hurting you," I said. "It was never my intention, and I do care about you." He scoffed. "I do. We don't have to be together for me to care. But please don't give up on other girls. Or your mother. She needs you, and I think you need her, too. Give her more credit. You'll find an amazing girl one day. She'll make you so happy that you'll be glad things didn't work out with me. You deserve a girl like that, even if that isn't me."

        Brice deserved the world. A part of me used to wonder if Brice was the guy for me, but I was the one who wasn't the girl for him. Brice and I were fun while we lasted, but he wasn't meant to end up with me.

        "I wanted you to be that girl," he said. "We're in high school. I don't expect us to get married, but I never expected us to end like this."

        "I didn't either," I said, "and I'm sorry for that. But you'll be okay and so will I."

        Then Brice's expression hardened as he looked past me. "Hey," Jax said while coming to stand next to me. He shifted his focus to Brice. "Everything okay?"

        "I can't do this," Brice said with his arms up. "I'm done."

        "Brice," I called out as he turned to leave. Not once did he look back at me, and I turned to Jax. "You couldn't have come at a worse time."

        "I'm sorry," he said. "I saw you two talking, and I just wanted to check up on you."

        He caressed my cheek, and I leaned into his touch. "I can take care of myself."

        "Didn't say you couldn't," he clarified. "That doesn't mean I won't look out for you."

        I perked a brow. "Why aren't you more affected by this? Your friendship with Brice is over. We hurt him. I'll think you'll show more emotion."

        "What do you want me to do?" he asked. "Cry? It's not going to make it better. The only way to survive this is to feel as little as possible."

        "Show remorse."

        "You think I don't feel like shit?" he said. "I'll never do this to Brice if it wasn't for..."

        "For what?"

        His eyes softened. "For you. I'm not saying it's your fault because we're both to blame. All I'm saying is I would never betray Brice if this wasn't real." He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me. "I've never felt this way about anyone, and I can't give you up. I don't want to hurt my friend, but you and me have so much potential. We could be great together."

        We did, and we could. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I know." I buried my face into his shoulder, and his hold tightened around me. "I know exactly what you mean."

        I wouldn't have given up who I thought was my dream boy if what Jax and I had wasn't real. He wasn't the boy I thought I wanted, but he was who I needed. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

        We pulled away, still holding each other. "I'm not giving you up either," I said.

        Jax rested his forehead onto mine, staring into my eyes. "So, we're doing this? Despite everything?"

        I nodded, playing with the hairs on the nap of his neck. "We're doing this."

        He brought his lips down to mine, and I gladly welcomed it. This situation was anything but perfect. But nothing felt more right than me being with Jax Velasco.